Chapter 26

“Shuangshuang, don’t get nervous at all. Just do your best like you always do. If you hit a question you can’t answer, skip it for now. Mindset is the most important thing—everything else is just a paper tiger!”

Yu Xichi had repeated this pep talk who-knows-how-many times on the way over, and even now that they’d reached the school gate, she showed no signs of stopping.

Bai Shuangshuang listened obediently, without the slightest hint of impatience.

Bai Bingyang, standing off to the side, was the one who finally couldn’t take it anymore. He cut in, “Are you actually going to let Shuangshuang take her exam? Keep nagging like this, and even if she wasn’t nervous before, you’ll make her nervous now. Come on, the other kids have all gone inside. Let Shuangshuang go. Her mindset’s always been rock-solid. If you’ve got time to worry about that, you might as well think about what tasty things to cook these next couple days.”

Yu Xichi shot him a glare. “I’m just freaking out because I care too much! Men are all so laid-back. If every parent was as nonchalant as you, we wouldn’t even need exams—the kids’ hearts would freeze over first. Shut it. I’m not in the mood to argue with you.”

Bai Bingyang wilted under her glare, falling silent with a aggrieved look. When she started right back up with her nagging, he shot Bai Shuangshuang a meaningful glance, shrugged helplessly, and mouthed that even he couldn’t save her.

Bai Shuangshuang gave a gentle smile and quietly listened as Yu Xichi kept on with her instructions.

~~~

“You remember to pick up some groceries on the way. Have Shengsheng make lunch. I’ll stand guard here and bring Shuangshuang straight home when she’s done.”

“Got it. I’ll take over this afternoon, then. Standing here all day—your legs are gonna ache.”

Yu Xichi arched a brow. “I’m not planning to just stand around like a fool. There are snack shops all up and down the street. I’ll hit every one of them. A few hours will fly by.”

Bai Bingyang: “…” He’d clearly underestimated his wife’s smarts.

“Alright, I’m heading out. Take care of yourself.”

“Mm-hmm. Go on.”

Yu Xichi waved him off, turned around, and had just fished her phone from her pocket when someone tapped her shoulder.

Without looking up, she asked, “What else?”

“You and Dad head back. I’ll wait here.”

Yu Xichi froze, then whipped her head around. She bumped Bai Tongsheng’s arm playfully. “I knew you wouldn’t leave Shuangshuang to take the exam alone. Acting all cool like that—you must be worried out of your mind inside. So stubborn. Fine, if you want to wait, I won’t fight you over it. Shuangshuang might even ace the next section if she sees you when she comes out. Okay, then. I’ll go back with Dad.”

“Mm.”

Once Bai Tongsheng arrived, she didn’t budge an inch. The parents around her had ducked into shops multiple times by now, grabbing breaks left and right.

She alone stood like a post under the shade of the tree, eyes fixed on the school entrance, never taking a single step.

The bell rang, and before long, the examinees started streaming out.

She spotted Bai Shuangshuang in the crowd right away. Her gaze locked on and never wavered.

Squeezed in the throng, Bai Shuangshuang pushed through the school gate. She knew Yu Xichi and the others would be waiting, so when her wide-eyed search came up empty, her hand was suddenly grabbed.

Startled, she assumed it was a mix-up in the chaos and started to pull away—until the voice said, “It’s me.”

Bai Shuangshuang jerked her head around. There was fine sweat beading on the other’s forehead, and her eyes brimmed with nothing but Shuangshuang’s own reflection. A sharp, bittersweet ache bloomed suddenly in her chest.

She and A-Sheng hadn’t held hands in so long.

~~~

All around them, parents peppered their kids with questions about how the exam had gone. But the two walked hand in hand through the crowd in silence, looking a little out of place amid the chatter.

Bai Shuangshuang hesitated, then spoke up first. “Did Auntie ask you to come?”

Her voice was tentative, laced with an unconscious thread of hope.

“I wanted to come.”

Bai Shuangshuang’s breath caught. She edged instinctively closer. It had been ages since she’d heard Bai Tongsheng speak to her with that hint of warmth.

She’d thought time had numbed her to it by now. But no—it hadn’t.

Pathetic, she thought. And tragic, too: she might spend the rest of her life trapped in the emotional whirlwinds Bai Tongsheng stirred up.

Just one simple sentence from her, and Shuangshuang’s heart was fluttering—would she, in this lifetime, still smile and take that Silver Knife, then drive it straight into her own chest?

She didn’t want to. But she couldn’t help it.

“Bai Shuangshuang.”

The voice pulled her back. They’d stopped in front of a cake shop.

Bai Tongsheng frowned at her. “What were you thinking about? I called your name a bunch of times—you didn’t hear a thing.”

She subconsciously wiped her face and found her hand clean and dry. Only then did she let out a sigh of relief. “I was just thinking about the questions earlier. Sorry about that.”

Bai Tongsheng’s expression softened somewhat at her words, and her voice grew gentler as well. “The exam’s over now, so stop thinking about it. Believe in yourself.”

“Mm.”

“How many do you want to buy?”

“Huh?”

“Cakes. How many?”

She shook her head. “We’ll eat dinner as soon as we get back, so maybe skip the cake? Unless you want one?”

“Then we’ll get one.”

Bai Tongsheng pointed to one of them. She waited for the server to pack it up, paid, picked up the bag, and pulled her along as they left.

Once they were seated on the bus, Bai Tongsheng unwrapped the packaging.

“If you can’t eat it now, save it for tonight.”

“Dinner’s soon, so maybe not yet.”

Bai Tongsheng scooped up a bit without taking no for an answer and stuffed it straight into her mouth. “Just one bite, then.”

Bai Shuangshuang had no choice but to swallow. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bai Tongsheng repack the cake and set it on her lap.

“Why did you suddenly make me eat cake?”

“No reason.”

Bai Shuangshuang wisely let the subject drop.

~~~

When they got home, Yu Xichi opened the door.

Bai Tongsheng had already slipped past her and gone inside first. Yu Xichi’s sharp eyes spotted the cake box in her hand right away.

She immediately asked Bai Shuangshuang with a sly grin, “Shuangshuang, did Shengsheng buy cake?”

She nodded. “Yeah, A-Sheng got one earlier.”

“Did she make you eat it?”

Sensing that Yu Xichi knew something, she recounted the whole thing.

Yu Xichi let out a knowing little whistle, then dropped the topic. “Dinner’s ready. Come eat, Shuangshuang.”

“Auntie, does that cake mean something special?”

Yu Xichi had wanted her to ask Bai Tongsheng herself, but considering her aloof personality, she went ahead and explained. “Yesterday, I told her that if you eat cake on the first day of the Gaokao, the person who eats it will perform exceptionally well and get unexpectedly great scores.”

It was obviously made up on the spot, and Bai Shuangshuang clearly wasn’t buying it. “That’s probably not real, right?”

Yu Xichi blinked. “Of course it’s just something I pulled out of thin air, but there’s a fool who believed it.”

She smiled and patted her head. “Our family’s little fool actually cares a lot about you, Shuangshuang. So even if she doesn’t always show it well, I hope you understand—you’re a very, very important person to her.”

Yu Xichi wasn’t oblivious. She’d noticed the shifts in their relationship over this time. She had no idea what exactly had happened between them, but she was certain they still cared deeply for each other.

She’d only mentioned it casually yesterday and hadn’t expected Bai Tongsheng to actually go through with it. But now—

It proved that their family fool cared about her even more than she’d thought.

~~~

Bai Shuangshuang agonized over it for several nights but ultimately chose the same major as in her previous life.

—In her previous life, she’d picked it entirely for Bai Tongsheng’s sake.

—This life, she chose it willingly.

She knew full well that this lifetime, she could no longer convince herself to stay away from Bai Tongsheng the way she had at the start.

She couldn’t escape it. Even if it all converged with her previous life in the end, she’d accept that fate.

Because the days before that final moment were truly happy for her.

How happy?

—Even if it ended in tragedy, it didn’t matter.

She smiled.

—But A-Sheng, this lifetime, if possible, please don’t ask her to die.

—If things could be that way, she’d happily stay by her side for the rest of her life.

~~~

“Let me see your choices.”

After dinner, Bai Tongsheng followed her upstairs. Instead of heading to her own room, she came into hers with her and had her open the computer.

Bai Shuangshuang was puzzled but sat down at the desk as instructed.

“A-Sheng, what’s wrong?”

Bai Tongsheng said nothing. She moved behind her, bending down halfway so that her chin hovered just a short distance above Bai Shuangshuang’s head. She reached out, placing her hand over Bai Shuangshuang’s on the mouse.

Bai Shuangshuang’s hand burned hot. She yanked it back in a panic.

Bai Tongsheng paid it no mind. In that position, she opened the site in the browsing history.

She could smell the scent wafting from the person pressed close behind her—a clean, pleasant aroma unique to Bai Tongsheng.

It was easy to grow addicted to.

“Enter the number.”

Bai Shuangshuang’s thoughts were interrupted. She reacted sluggishly for a moment before hurriedly murmuring “oh” and lightly tapping some numbers on the keyboard.

Bai Tongsheng’s gaze drifted sideways, landing on her fair and delicate hands. She swallowed silently.

“Done.”

Bai Tongsheng opened the relevant interface. When she saw the words displayed there, her brows furrowed tightly. “You want to be a secretary?”

Shuangshuang glanced up at her cautiously, choosing her words with care. “Uncle’s going to hand the company over to A-Sheng someday. If I study to become a secretary, maybe I can help A-Sheng out a little?”

When she saw Tongsheng’s expression darken abruptly, her voice trailed off. “If A-Sheng thinks I can’t handle it, I can go work at another company first to get some experience. Then, when A-Sheng needs me, I can come back.”

Those were the exact words Bai Tongsheng from her previous life had told her, one by one.

Back then, she had swallowed the ache in her heart, smiled gently, and—under her gaze—changed her original major to secretarial studies, a field that could help her but one she had no interest in herself.

Because of that choice, Bai Tongsheng had softened toward her, if only briefly. Though she reverted to her usual self the very next day, Bai Shuangshuang had still felt a profound, humble satisfaction from that single day’s smile.

Her previous life had been built on the words “lowly” and “humble.”

Lowly. And so very humble.

Bai Tongsheng’s breathing grew heavy, as if she were suppressing a surge of anger.

Bai Shuangshuang panicked and quickly backtracked. “If A-Sheng doesn’t like it, I can study something else instead. Anything at all.”

Tongsheng lowered her eyes to meet hers, her voice hoarse. “Bai Shuangshuang, this is your life. Decide what you want to study for yourself. You don’t need to ask anyone else.”

Bai Shuangshuang froze.

Bai Tongsheng pulled her into an embrace, resting her chin atop her head at last. The moment she spoke, Shuangshuang felt something thudding insistently against her back.

“What have I ever done to you… to turn you into this?”

Shuangshuang couldn’t decipher the meaning behind those words. Was it accusation? Mockery? Disgust?

She knew she was crying. A voice in her heart laughed even as the tears fell.

—What did you do to me?

—You did nothing.

—It was Bai Tongsheng from the previous life.

—And Bai Shuangshuang from the previous life, too: so pitifully, hatefully humble.

“Bai Shuangshuang.”

At some point, Bai Tongsheng had shifted to hold her face-to-face. After murmuring her name, she leaned down slightly and pressed a gentle kiss to her tear-streaked eyes.

“You have to live for yourself. Otherwise… my heart will hurt so much.”

“It’s hurting because of you right now.”