Shen Zhirou sat in the taxi, trying her best not to cry, but her tears slid down her cheeks uncontrollably one by one. The driver, afraid she might do something rash in his car, sped along and soon arrived at the place she shared with Lu Yao.
Shen Zhirou wandered into the residential complex in a daze. Before she knew it, she had reached the door of their home. She looked up at it and gave a self-mocking smile. This was no longer her home.
Her next actions were almost mechanical. Shen Zhirou dragged out a suitcase and began packing her clothes. She hadn’t lived with Lu Yao for very long, but she had already come to think of the place as home. Unbeknownst to herself, her luggage was far bulkier now than when she had moved in. When Lu Yao returned home, this was the sight that greeted her: Shen Zhirou packing her bags in the bedroom.
The scene ignited Lu Yao’s temper. She had been swamped with work lately and constantly preoccupied with issues involving Shen Zhirou, so her tone came out sharp. “What are you doing? If there’s a problem, we can talk it out properly. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you everything.”
Shen Zhirou set down the clothes in her hands and turned to face Lu Yao. “Are you really with me just because my eyes look like hers?”
A torrent of memories flooded Lu Yao’s mind: the past few days when they had been tangled together in bed, the times Shen Zhirou had accompanied her on business trips to other cities, the moments when Shen Zhirou cooked for her in the kitchen…
Lu Yao had so many things she wanted to say, but they all lodged in her throat. She didn’t want to lie to Shen Zhirou. Yes, she had gotten together with her because of those eyes at first. But after spending time together, she had realized that Shen Zhirou and Wen Jin were completely different people. Wen Jin blazed like fire, an unreachable star in the sky. Shen Zhirou, on the other hand, was like a docile little deer in the mountains—ready to be gathered into her arms whenever she wished.
In truth, she had only zoned out staring at Shen Zhirou’s eyes during the first few days. After that, she had never mistaken her for Wen Jin. She knew full well that the woman living with her was Shen Zhirou, and the one who left traces of passion on their bed was Shen Zhirou too.
Suddenly, Lu Yao’s thoughts felt like a tangled mess. This was precisely why she had never wanted to fall in love or get too entangled with anyone—her heart was already being swayed by Shen Zhirou. The sensation was utterly foreign, dragging her back to five years ago, when Wen Jin had abandoned her.
Lu Yao’s mind raced with thoughts, but when she opened her mouth, only one word emerged. “Yes.”
Shen Zhirou let out a scoffing laugh, her eyes brimming with tears as she stared at Lu Yao. “Then there’s nothing more to say. I’ll move out tonight.”
The words sent an inexplicable panic surging through Lu Yao. “You’re leaving just because of that? Before we moved in together, I told you upfront that I didn’t want a romance—I wanted a marriage partner. You agreed to that. So what’s got you so dissatisfied with being with me? Is it about pulling strings for your relative’s job? If you want, I can arrange something even better…”
Shen Zhirou gazed at Lu Yao with a mix of disbelief and disappointment. After a long moment, she shook her head. “Yaoyao, you still don’t understand why I want to leave? I like you. I want you to like me too. Even if our feelings aren’t equal, I at least want a place in your heart—not to be some kind of stand-in.”
“I’m not treating you like anyone’s stand-in. What are you even fussing about?” Lu Yao’s voice grew urgent, laced with a hint of impatience.
“Maybe your mother was right. We really shouldn’t be together.” Shen Zhirou crouched down and resumed packing her clothes.
“When did my mom say any of this to you? Why didn’t you tell me?” Lu Yao’s chest heaved; it had been ages since her emotions had run this high.
“What’s the point of telling you? Do you even care? You’d probably just see me as a nuisance.” Shen Zhirou glanced at Lu Yao, shaking her head faintly in disappointment.
She was someone starved for affection, and Lu Yao simply wasn’t the type to share her love. Perhaps they had never been right for each other from the start.
Shen Zhirou’s hands trembled as she packed, but she clenched her jaw to keep Lu Yao from noticing.
Lu Yao was left speechless by the question. She looked at Shen Zhirou, figuring it was just talk born of anger.
Shen Zhirou adored her and had such a gentle nature—she wouldn’t really leave. Besides, she had already returned the Company Apartment to the Company, and her relationship with her parents was strained. With nowhere else to go, Lu Yao felt a strange sense of relief. Her tone hardened. “If you want to go, then go. Suit yourself.”
After saying that, Lu Yao simply retreated into the secondary bedroom. Out of sight, out of mind—she hoped that leaving Shen Zhirou alone for a while might help her calm down enough to drop the talk of leaving.
Minutes ticked by slowly. Lu Yao sat on the bed in the secondary bedroom, barely shifting position as she strained to listen for any sounds from outside. No door opened, and gradually, her tension eased. She leaned back against the headboard.
Whether it was the alcohol or the exhaustion from a long day at work, Lu Yao soon drifted off. When she awoke, the world outside the window was shrouded in pitch darkness.
Shen Zhirou had packed her clothes into two suitcases, leaving the rest of her daily essentials for Lu Yao to toss. She wheeled the luggage into the living room and saw the door to the secondary bedroom still firmly shut. A self-mocking smile tugged at her lips. Lu Yao probably didn’t care one way or the other if she left. In this relationship, she’d been the only one who truly cared, from start to finish.
Shen Zhirou dragged her suitcases out the door and made her way slowly toward the neighborhood entrance under the dim yellow glow of the streetlights. It was ten at night, and the streets were nearly empty of pedestrians. Hauling two large suitcases, she felt like just another transient passing through the city.
She planned to grab a cab to a hotel for the night and hunt down a real estate agent in the morning to find a rental. Pulling out her phone, she noticed Zhao Tongtong had called five or six times, all unanswered. As Shen Zhirou debated calling her friend back, another call came through.
“How are you holding up? Why haven’t you picked up all this time?” Zhao Tongtong’s voice carried a note of urgency through the speaker.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay. Everything’s handled.” Shen Zhirou had regained her composure by now; her voice betrayed nothing.
“Bullshit, you’re ‘okay.’ You think I can’t tell you’re outside? I hear cars honking. Where are you? I’ll come get you.” Zhao Tongtong switched to speakerphone and started changing clothes.
“No need. I’ll cab it to a hotel for tonight and find an agent for a place tomorrow.” Shen Zhirou tried to force a smile into the phone but found she couldn’t.
“Forget the hotel. It’s late—too dangerous for you alone. I’m dressed and heading out now. Send your location, quick.” Zhao Tongtong snatched her keys, unlocked the door, and hurried out, talking nonstop to preempt any refusal. Shen Zhirou was perfect in every way except one: she hated imposing on others and always shouldered her burdens alone.
“I’m fine, really. No need to come. Besides, your boyfriend’s still there—it’d be awkward.” Zhao Tongtong’s boyfriend, Wei Xuan, hailed from out of town. He’d taken out a loan on a place still under renovation, so he’d been crashing at hers.
“Who cares about him? Let him fend for himself. I won’t sleep easy knowing you’re alone these next few days. Come crash at my place till you line up something solid with an agent. You won’t snag a decent spot in a day or two anyway.” Zhao Tongtong had already descended to the underground garage and popped open the car door.
With no real choice, Shen Zhirou relented. She fired off her WeChat location and perched on one suitcase, watching cars streak by. The neon signs glowing in the distance highlighted Jiangbei City’s vibrant prosperity, yet it only deepened her isolation. She felt no roots here whatsoever. Perhaps it was time to save up and buy a place of her own.
Zhao Tongtong arrived in record time. She loaded Shen Zhirou’s bags into the trunk, and once they were underway, she finally asked, “So what went down? That woman from the bar—she’s Lu Yao?”
“Yeah. She got with me because my eyes look like her first love’s. Thought living together might make it work.” Shen Zhirou let out a faint sigh.
“A stand-in romance? That’s insane. You two done for good? Folks usually say make up, don’t break up—but using you as her ex’s body double? No way you put up with that.” Zhao Tongtong’s voice pitched higher with indignation. “Lu Yao’s got some nerve, treating you like this.”
“Forget it. My fault too. Her mom actually mentioned it before, but I brushed it off—thought she was stirring trouble between us. Guess she was right.” Shen Zhirou slumped against the seatback, drained of all energy.
“Good riddance to the breakup. Lu Yao’s mom doesn’t strike me as anyone decent either. Someone as sweet as you? You’ll find a guy a hundred times better. It’ll sting for a week or two, tops, then it’ll fade.” Zhao Tongtong consoled her friend. Seeing how wiped out Shen Zhirou looked, she fell silent, giving her space to rest.
It was nearly 11 p.m. by the time Shen Zhirou returned to Zhao Tongtong’s place. Wei Xuan saw Zhao Tongtong bringing Shen Zhirou with her—and noticed the two suitcases in tow—and greeted Shen Zhirou with some awkwardness. “The guest room’s all ready. Zhirou, just stay here for the next few days. Make yourself completely at home.”
“Sorry to impose on you both. I’ll get in touch with a realtor tomorrow to look at places and move out in a day or two.” After all, Zhao Tongtong lived here with her boyfriend, so Shen Zhirou’s overnight stay was bound to be inconvenient.
“No problem at all. We’re all busy during the day anyway, and we only come back at night to crash. Take your time—no need to rush. Just move when you find something suitable.” Wei Xuan exchanged a few polite words before heading back to his room.
“Zhirou, don’t dwell on it. I’ll sleep with you tonight.” Zhao Tongtong still couldn’t shake her worry about leaving Shen Zhirou alone.
Shen Zhirou managed a faint smile at the corners of her lips, though her face remained somewhat pale. “I’m really fine. We’re all adults—this is nothing. I just want some time to myself.”
“Alright. But call me right away if you start feeling off.” Zhao Tongtong reminded her once more, her ponytail bobbing behind her head with each nod.
“Don’t worry, I got it.” Shen Zhirou replied in a calm tone.
Only once it was clear Shen Zhirou truly wanted to rest did Zhao Tongtong finally return to the master bedroom.
