If she hadn’t recklessly gone downstairs during the typhoon back then, and if Xue Tong hadn’t been patrolling outside the campus during the typhoon and picked her up.
Perhaps their entanglement would have ended right there with Typhoon Signal No. 8.
The plum rain season in Shanghai had just passed. It hadn’t rained today, but it was still overcast. When in Hong Kong, Xue Tong used to call this kind of weather “misty haze.”
Misty haze—it sounded rather romantic. But Lu Shimiao looked it up later and found out that “misty haze” was just smog. Yet Shanghai rarely saw smog. Here in the Magic City, one out of every three days in a year was overcast, including this evening.
Lu Shimiao felt that everything seemed very unreal.
Whether it was the big fire this morning or Xue Tong arriving in Shanghai yesterday.
“Do you have to work overtime tonight?”
Xue Tong glanced down at her wristwatch. It was almost eight at night. She had been waiting eagerly all day for Lu Shimiao. Now standing in front of her asking this question felt very unfamiliar.
Having their positions swapped made her think of many details she had overlooked in the past. For instance, when Typhoon Signal No. 8 hit, Lu Shimiao sitting on her sofa must have been just as bored as she was now, right?
In a strange city, with only her phone, everything unfamiliar, and the one person she most wanted to rely on completely absorbed in other things.
Morality could often not withstand the scrutiny of possessiveness. Xue Tong was starting to dislike this profession of theirs a little. Every time they went in and out of a death scene, it often left a person’s soul half a step behind.
Forget it. Thinking it over, she felt that at least now she could see her. It was only nine hours, after all. The high-speed train from Hong Kong to Shanghai also took seven. In the future, there would be plenty of waiting. A blink of the eye and it would pass. At least it was much better than waiting four years.
“The scene is a mess; I can’t make heads or tails of it. You know how cases are. I can’t go into details with you.”
Using a tissue to wipe the sweat from her forehead, Lu Shimiao also took off her crime scene suit. Somewhat worried, she asked, “You haven’t eaten, have you?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Not hungry, but you still need to eat.” Lu Shimiao hadn’t forgotten she had come out to buy food for her colleagues. She also removed her shoe covers and folded them, placing them into the contamination bin in the police car’s trunk. “I’ll take you to get something to eat.”
“Go change your clothes first.” Xue Tong handed over a clean short-sleeved shirt.
“Where do I change?” Lu Shimiao glanced around but didn’t take it.
“Bathroom.” Xue Tong pointed straight at the public restroom across the way.
“It’s so dirty.” Lu Shimiao shook her head. “Forget it. I won’t catch a cold.”
“Go change.” Xue Tong’s voice was low, her delicate eyebrows raised.
“Oh.” Lu Shimiao had no choice but to take the clothes and obediently duck into the bathroom.
Wash hands. Wash hands a second time.
She pulled open the stall door, quickly peeled off her soaked shirt, then used the wet shirt to wipe the sweat from her body and put on Xue Tong’s shirt.
She cupped it in her hands. It was that familiar scent again.
Lu Shimiao stood in the bathroom, holding the clothes and sniffing for a long while. Dizzy, her mind empty, she could push everything she had seen at the scene to the back of her mind.
She seriously suspected she had some kind of addiction.
“Does changing clothes take this long?”
Xue Tong’s cold words drifted in from outside the door, startling Lu Shimiao so much she shivered and pulled open the stall door. Xue Tong stood at the entrance blocking it with her body, stepping up toward the step and forcing Lu Shimiao back into the stall.
The two of them stared at each other in the cramped space.
“Does the shirt smell good?”
Xue Tong’s tone was very flat, as calmly as if she were asking: Does it hurt? Do you like it? Are you tired? Did you cry? But Lu Shimiao was flustered to death, as if she had been caught watching porn, and the hardcore bondage kind at that.
Lu Shimiao’s face flushed. Her hands instinctively went behind her back. She wanted to deny it, but she knew she couldn’t lie. This habit of loving to smell Xue Tong’s scent had started yesterday.
“Lu Shimiao.” Xue Tong reached to touch her ear, her voice softening so much more, as though coaxing. “I’m standing right in front of you now.”
You can come hug me.
Xue Tong stood across from Lu Shimiao, hoping she would learn to reach out and hold her. At the very least, express her desire in front of the person herself. On this matter, she didn’t know how to teach her clearly.
Feeling the touch on her ear, Lu Shimiao’s shoulders trembled violently. She tilted her head to dodge Xue Tong’s hand. “Xue Tong, don’t mess with me.”
You see.
In the end, that was the only response she got.
“Fine.” Xue Tong nodded, released her hand, and consciously stepped out of the restroom.
This couldn’t be rushed.
Even if it had to be rushed, she’d have to wait. After all, she had plenty of time now.
“Since you’ve entered the Serious Crime Unit, I suppose you won’t be able to get out for a while.” Although Xue Tong was with the Hong Kong Criminal Investigation Department, the whole world was pretty much the same. Every Serious Crime Unit followed the same procedure, and it wasn’t just Lu Shimiao who had to suffer through it; she had suffered through it too.
“My exchange arrangements might get me transferred to another department. We—”
“I suddenly feel like this case might actually wrap up pretty quickly.” Lu Shimiao’s hurried words fell abruptly in the dark night, leaving only the slow, leisurely sound of two pairs of footsteps.
“Mm, that’s good.” Xue Tong reached out and tugged the corner of Lu Shimiao’s shirt, signaling her to listen carefully. “I wanted to say we—”
“I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten in nine hours. I need to go buy some water.”
Lu Shimiao tossed this out and strode forward, walking out of the dark curtain and beneath the streetlights. She didn’t look back or wait for anyone. The tingling sensation Xue Tong’s touch had left on her ear still lingered. The wind had dried her hair, but the expression on her face was a little ugly.
They passed a Shaxian Snacks shop, but she didn’t stop.
Xue Tong knew what Lu Shimiao was avoiding. It was nothing more than not wanting to admit that the two of them had really reunited. She was dodging her, afraid she was going to leave, but unwilling to say so out loud and ask her to stay.
Lu Shimiao’s usual tactic: playing dumb.
Whenever she came across something she didn’t like, couldn’t accept, or didn’t want to hear, she would first block it with her own words. If she couldn’t block it, she’d just let it go and ignore it. As if as long as she ran fast enough and hid long enough, none of these things had anything to do with her.
If you want a hedgehog to show its belly,
you have to raise it until it’s tame.
“Although we won’t be able to see each other face-to-face, you move into that apartment first.” Xue Tong also hurried her pace, her slow steps turning into a light jog. Her voice was a little unsteady from the movement. “It’s been too inconvenient for me to commute to teach at the university. On weekends when I’m free, I’ll come back to see you. Okay?”
Oh.
So Xue Tong wasn’t saying goodbye to her.
Listening to the words behind her, Lu Shimiao felt her sense of security rise in her heart. She turned a corner and walked deep into an alley. When she caught sight of Xue Tong following her in from the corner of her eye, she boldly pulled her over.
“What are you doing?” Xue Tong stumbled, asking.
Lu Shimiao said nothing. Hiding in the darkness, she reached out and clamped her tightly.
“I’m so tired.”
The tip of Lu Shimiao’s nose climbed into the crook of Xue Tong’s neck. She used her hands to lock both of Xue Tong’s wrists behind her back, holding them firmly in place like she would a criminal she was apprehending.
Back in the bathroom, she had wanted to hug her. But Xue Tong had let go and turned around too fast, never even giving her the chance.
This lost-and-found embrace made Lu Shimiao feel that everything was light and easy again.
But Xue Tong had lost weight.
Even thinner than before.
Xue Tong stood stiffly in her arms, her hands restrained behind her back, her arms caught tightly and unable to move at all.
Even though they had only been reunited for thirty-three hours.
Lu Shimiao had already twice used coercive methods to express her dissatisfaction. Yet back in the bathroom, she had given her a reasonable channel for a hug, and Lu Shimiao had chosen not to use it. Xue Tong recalled that phone call from the psychologist in the afternoon, who had said these strange behaviors of Lu Shimiao’s were also the result of her own indulgence back in Hong Kong.
She had no one else to blame.
“Do you think I’m a criminal?” Xue Tong didn’t want to struggle for now.
“Mm.”
Lu Shimiao slowly drew closer to Xue Tong’s hair and nestled against it, answering softly.
Her back really hurt. She felt that if she stood any longer, she might get acute lumbar strain. Plus, after examining those blackened, burnt corpses all day, her heart was in such agony. She needed Xue Tong’s scent to mask it all.
Her neck was so itchy. Lu Shimiao’s hair pricked, and her lips brushed against her neck, icy cold. Xue Tong could feel the other’s agitation.
“So, officer, may I ask what crime I’ve committed?”
“Abandonment.”
Lu Shimiao had her eyes closed and answered casually, brushing her lashes against the collar of Xue Tong’s shirt.
…Abandonment.
Xue Tong instantly lost all mood. A surge of irritation welled up. Thinking of what Lili had said that morning, she felt very displeased. “Who abandoned whom? It was you who changed your flight early back then, and you didn’t even go to the school graduation ceremony. Do you have any idea that I rushed back to the acad—”
“Mmph…”
Lu Shimiao bit down on Xue Tong’s mouth.
“Let me… finish… talking.” Xue Tong was tied up, her mouth sealed. The two seemed to be fighting.
“I don’t want to hear it.” Lu Shimiao’s eyes focused solely on the center of Xue Tong’s lips, staring intently at her escaping prey. Her movements gradually became savage, turning into greedy licking.
So annoying. The moment this person came back, she wanted to argue about what happened back then.
Everything about Hong Kong, that humiliating past. Those painful things that did and didn’t happen couldn’t easily be treated as a joke by Xue Tong for her own amusement.
Xue Tong had originally thought this unannounced kiss would be different from yesterday. But now, her mouth was full of a bloody taste. She didn’t know if her lip was cut or Lu Shimiao’s lip was cut.
Only then did she realize that the other was just insolently demanding pleasure from her. Once again, she had been used by Lu Shimiao as a venting tool.
Xue Tong didn’t like it, so she furrowed her brows tightly.
Lu Shimiao’s sweet nectar mixed with blood. Closing her eyes, another panicked scene flashed before her.
She was dressed in plain clothes, searching through the crowd. All she remembered was constantly looking at her wristwatch. It told her there were only twenty minutes left for the plane to say goodbye. She had thought that would be enough time, as long as she found Lu Shimiao, she could make her wait.
But she had run all over the entire police academy and couldn’t find her.
Some said Lu Shimiao had gone traveling.
Some said Lu Shimiao’s flight had been moved up.
Now, recalling these images in her mind, that urgency brought by time was still so vivid. So vivid that she felt her heart stop beating, felt she was suffocating. This feeling was so clear that her eyes swelled. “I never thought of abandoning you. I wasn’t going to Hawaii back then. I—”
Lu Shimiao stopped. “Why do you have to bring up Hong Kong for no good reason?”
…
For no good reason.
So as long as she got to kiss her, it was “for no good reason.”
Xue Tong suddenly began to wake up. It was as if her explanation was nonsense to Lu Shimiao, confirming the idea she hadn’t dared probe in over four years: even if back then she had found Lu Shimiao and told her to wait until she came back before leaving…
Lu Shimiao would have chosen to run away without hesitation anyway.
That was just how she was.
Xue Tong opened her eyes. Unfortunately, there were no lights in the alley, and she couldn’t see Lu Shimiao’s face. She pulled back the panic that had been drowning in the kiss. “For no good reason, then why did you kiss me?”
“In the past, didn’t we also casually kiss?”
“Casually…”
Xue Tong wrenched free from her grasp in a few quick moves, a raging fire surging up. “Lu Shimiao, you’re really something.”
