An Lin crossed his arms in front of his chest, standing guard outside Xue Tong’s car window, his eyes fixed on the library rooftop.
Lu Shimiao had already been locked in a standoff with the suspect for two hours.
The campus and the car beside him were both steeped in dead silence, a quiet so profound it bred dread.
Negotiation expert Joe stood next to An Lin, his expression equally fraught with anxiety. He knew well that negotiation required team strategy, not solitary, reckless courage.
Although there were no signs of the criminal losing control yet, no one could endure two hours of intense, razor-sharp focus without breaking.
Not to mention Lu Shimiao. Even the criminal might not last.
Joe assessed the situation internally. In less than half an hour, if the criminal didn’t get the police’s concession to take someone inside, he would likely break down…
On the campus, SWAT snipers were in position, waiting for the Fire Department’s EOD technicians to finish disarming the bombs in the main building.
But even if the EOD techs disarmed the bombs, they still couldn’t take the shot.
Because on the rooftop, there was one hostage, two police officers, the criminal held a remote detonator, and there was a barrel of explosives on the roof.
They knew all too well that if a shot was fired, unless the bullet tore through the skull, causing brain death within 0.58 seconds, the criminal would likely have an instinctive reaction — a retaliatory behavior. Pressing the remote detonator only took a second. No one dared to guarantee what would happen.
The one controlling everything was that female Criminal Police officer.
The situation was deadlocked.
Every minute, every second, was agony for these people.
Xue Tong had taken a strong dose of Valium. The drug took effect, slowing her heart rate to a stagnant pool, waves striking without leaving a trace. She couldn’t feel a single beat. She endured the two hours in this state of forced paralysis.
Her eyelids were heavy with fatigue, her brain felt rusted shut. She even thought she might pass out in the next second.
Xue Tong looked down at her shirt cuff, at the silver cufflinks. The rope-letter floral pattern climbed the edges of the cuff, guarding the last trace of her elegance and nobility. Unfortunately, the lacquer on the cufflinks wasn’t very bright anymore. Luxury brands liked to use palladium plating precisely so the product would lose its luster faster, making it easier to create a consumption gap. Yet all these years, Xue Tong couldn’t bear to replace them.
She took the cufflinks off, cupping them in her hand, and leaned her head against the front seat, trying to discern something. But her brain refused to function. She felt more like a dog now, hoping someone would come quickly to take her away. It didn’t matter where, even if she was locked in a cage. Just take her away.
She stared for she didn’t know how long.
Suddenly, from outside…
A violent roar…
Boom!
The car jolted with the blast.
Outside the car, there was an uproar of noise and clamor. A massive stream of people began rushing into the school.
An Lin stood outside the car, watching flames erupt from the library rooftop, tearing a gash into the bright daylight. Even though he knew no one inside except Lu Shimiao, he still felt professional empathy. His heart went blank along with the sound of that explosion.
He wanted to grab someone wearing an earpiece and ask about the situation inside, but he didn’t have the authority.
Not only would no one tell him the outcome, but he was also afraid of hearing the answer… He didn’t dare learn the truth.
He leaned on the car door, peering inside the window.
The deathly stillness inside the car, together with the fiery glow from the library rooftop, was stirred by a faint trace of movement.
First, a sob, then it grew fierce… To call it heart-wrenching might be a bit of an exaggeration, but language couldn’t accurately convey that kind of grief. An Lin’s tear threshold was very high, and he wasn’t someone who easily empathized, but in the end, listening to Xue Tong’s voice, his eyes involuntarily reddened too.
To be honest, in the 13 years he had known Xue Tong, this was the first time he’d ever seen her cry.
They had been colleagues for 10 years. The Ordnance Forensics unit he belonged to was under the Forensic Science Division. By position, Xue Tong was his superior. Xue Tong was wedged among a group of men, working shifts, on duty and standby. Together, they had seen too many shooting homicides.
Whether the death of a criminal or the death of a colleague, the line between life and death, the rivers of blood — Xue Tong had witnessed too much misfortune, yet she had never shown despair. She could even drink a cup of coffee facing a corpse. So much so that after many years, he had almost forgotten Xue Tong was a woman.
An Lin didn’t know what to say now.
All these years, he never sought a partner, only finding affection in bed. Xue Tong always joked, saying: Be careful you don’t stray too far, retribution will come sooner or later. But it wasn’t because he was a playboy; rather, it was because he understood love too well.
Only the love that falls behind the crowd is slow-witted, easy to hide.
He had also joked with Xue Tong, saying: A life spent loving only one person ends very quickly.
Unfortunately, Xue Tong didn’t take his jokes to heart.
Xue Tong would always say to him while drinking:
“Everyone in this world wants to be loved. No one wants to be hurt.”
“But you can’t expect to be loved while refusing any possibility of being hurt.”
“Whatever choice Lu Shimiao makes, I think it’s OK… because I accept that she loves herself more.”
“This is a technique of love, to avoid leading emotions astray.”
Xue Tong seemed, in a way of absolute trust, to have handed over the power of life and death over her self to the other person. She knew the other person wouldn’t destroy her. And indeed, Lu Shimiao would never actively destroy her.
It’s just that today’s events were… somewhat melodramatic. This love technique had truly led her astray. So An Lin didn’t know what to say. He didn’t dare offer any more words of comfort, fearing that trouble might slip from his lips.
Through the car window glass, he watched Xue Tong.
Waiting for Xue Tong’s decline and withering.
Waiting for her proud body to sink, inch by inch, into the water’s depths, soaked in this feeling of being wounded. That pain and suffering would entangle and erode her like algae. She would shatter into thousands of fragments, sinking to a place with only silent light, rusting, fixed, unable to be salvaged for a long, long time.
He didn’t know what the outcome would be, so he turned his gaze back to the campus.
He prayed, hoped, pleaded, begged.
That Lu Shimiao, that sailor-warrior, could survive the waves of the gods, and rescue this sunken anchor.
Xue Tong actually didn’t feel she was crying. She felt she was just venting. Venting the graceful waiting of these two hours, and the hesitant inability to strike over the past four years. Tragic and laughable.
One hand covered her face, the other covered her chest. Tears had already squeezed through the gaps of her fingers, falling everywhere — onto the car mat, the shirt, the leather, onto those rope-patterned cufflinks.
That day… that day she shouldn’t have told Lu Shimiao to sleep separately, told her to think it over. And that year… that year in the taxi, she shouldn’t have pulled back her hand, shouldn’t have heartlessly gotten out on the street. If everything could start over, she would tell Lu Shimiao on the day of the Typhoon Signal No. 8. She would say:
Although I don’t know why humans react so strangely to sudden emotional shocks, whether a chance fondness truly represents its existence, but… before tonight, I saw you seven times. The first time, at the convenience store, hidden behind my sunglasses, my steps paused for a few seconds because you turned your head. Like seeing a stray dog on the street, having a sudden impulse to take it home, wanting to be needed by it. Or perhaps, my pause was due to a visual sexual impulse originating from adulthood, because you’re beautiful, and my hormones were rising. But I’ve confirmed it now… it seems that’s not the case…
Because I found that this kind of love at first sight happened seven times in a row, and I can feel it’s still continuing.
She would even say:
The size of an ear represents a person’s silhouette in the womb. That’s why touching ears makes people feel calm. But every time I touch your ear, you tilt your head to one side. You look at me, smiling, without dodging. I also don’t know why you, so ticklish, don’t dodge? So I deliberately tease you, watching you tilt your head and trap my hand.
For many, many years, I’ve always woken up in the early hours. I like not turning on the light, because turning on the light makes a person feel nakedly awake. Awakeness makes my soul feel damp, with the illusion of breathing in winter.
But every time you turn on the light in the middle of the night, you first use your hand to cover my eyes, cover that damp feeling, making me feel dry. So I’m certain I wasn’t moved by you because of a visual impact, not because I’m a lesbian, not because you freed me from a decade of nightmares. It has nothing to do with appearance or what kind of person you are. It’s a whole. It’s you who has made my floor-to-ceiling windows and summer evenings into something to look forward to in life.
Xue Tong’s body could barely support her from crying. Her spirit finally began to crumble under the pressure, gradually losing strength. She simply curled up into a ball lying on the back seat. Her whole body ached, especially the angina, the pain so intense she wanted to stop the feeling. So she started rummaging through her bag.
An Lin was originally staring at the figures at the school entrance. He seemed to see someone roughly the same height as Lu Shimiao running towards their direction from a place far away…
He had never felt such relief. But the moment he turned his head, he saw Xue Tong in the car unscrewing a pill bottle.
“Hey!!! Sit, what are you doing?!”
“What are you doing? Open the door!”
“Car keys, give me the car keys!”
An Lin pressed the key fob, yanked the door open, and snatched the pill bottle from Xue Tong’s hand. “What are you doing.”
“Don’t tell me her news. Wait until I wake up from sleeping,” Xue Tong said, pinching a single Valium pill in her palm, swaying as she put it in her mouth and took a sip of water. She waited for sleep to rescue her. “Don’t worry, I don’t want to die that badly yet.”
An Lin glanced into the distance. That similar figure had disappeared. He was afraid his eyes had been playing tricks on him, afraid of giving Xue Tong hope only to have it dashed. That was crueler than death by a thousand cuts.
He sighed, took away her bag, her pill bottle, and checked Xue Tong’s pockets for any hidden pills. He turned on the car’s AC, draped his suit jacket over her, closed the door, and stood guard outside.
“Is Lu Shimiao okay?” An Lin grabbed a medical staff member running out and asked.
“I don’t know.” The medic didn’t know who Lu Shimiao was and could only shake their head.
“Is Lu Shimiao okay?” An Lin grabbed a Criminal Police officer wearing an earpiece and asked.
The officer shook his head. He knew, but orders from above dictated that everything that happened today could not be disclosed.
An Lin was so angry he squeezed his arm with his hand. The storm unleashed on the library rooftop had subsided. The building didn’t collapse, there was only the one explosion. The scope didn’t seem very wide. People inside began to walk out one after another. SWAT withdrew. The Fire Department came out in large numbers. Only Lu Shimiao was nowhere to be seen.
He stared fixedly at the entrance, refusing to let a single silhouette escape his notice. He couldn’t help but curse: “Drop dead!”
Another half hour passed.
Xue Tong in the car had fallen asleep. The ambulances around had all driven away.
Damn it? Not even a whole corpse left? If that was the case… how was he supposed to tell Xue Tong?
Just as An Lin turned around in despair, suddenly, a ringtone sounded from the phone in Xue Tong’s bag in his hand.
An Lin jolted awake and quickly rummaged for it.
The call’s contact name was that sickeningly affectionate nickname: Little Darling.
