Monday.
When Xu Xiaoyan learned that Yu Mian had been talking to Liang Zhixing, she worried herself sick, sitting backwards on the desk in front of her to whisper in her ear. “No way. You haven’t fallen for him, have you?”
Yu Mian was speechless. “Xiaoyan, what nonsense is going on in that little head of yours?”
Xu Xiaoyan looked as grim as if bearing a great grudge. “No. I just feel like he’s up to no good.”
“Up to no good? With you?”
The boy, just back from his run, dropped onto his stool, stretched out his long legs, and gave her a disdainful look. “What would this young master want with you?”
Xu Xiaoyan: “Hey!”
She exploded instantly and moved to hit him. “Liang Zhixing, you rotten thing!”
Liang Zhixing gave a contemptuous snort and pointed at Yu Mian. “Considering my kid explained problems to me, I won’t hold it against you.”
Xu Xiaoyan was dumbfounded. “What? My Mianmian… is your kid?”
Liang Zhixing lazily raised an eyebrow, the boy’s features sharp and untamed. “That’s right. I’m her old dad. As for you — good grandchild, I’ll look out for you too from now on.”
“Ahhhh Liang Zhixing, drop dead! Stealing my Mianmian!”
“Xu Xiaoyan, why are you hitting people!”
The two of them brawled like mad things. Xu Xiaoyan showed no mercy, going straight for Young Master Liang’s precious face, and even the outwardly cold, inwardly rowdy Liang was hard-pressed, yelling at her to stop while cursing her for being too fierce.
Yu Mian propped her chin on her hands, watching them with a smile.
These two overgrown children — they were clearly the babies here.
She let them carry on, but the pair seemed to turn it into a competition. When she explained problems to Liang Zhixing during breaks, Xu Xiaoyan insisted on dragging her stool over to listen, occasionally rapping Liang Zhixing’s head and calling him dummy; in PE class, when she kept Xiaoyan company on the 800 meters, Liang Zhixing would jog past them with his hands behind his back, tossing in a disdainful “shorty legs.”
Amid the flying feathers and scattered chaos, time slipped quietly by.
By finals, Liang Zhixing’s grades had leapt forward — fifth in class; Xu Xiaoyan had surpassed herself, scoring ninety in PE and finally earning a “Three-Good Student” award certificate.
On the day report cards were handed out, Xu Xiaoyan was over the moon, grabbing Yu Mian’s hands and spinning in circles. “I’m so happy! My mom said if I got a certificate, she’d buy me ten bags of lollipops!”
Liang Zhixing gave a faint snort of laughter, though this time he didn’t provoke her. “My treat. Dinner? Want to go to the amusement park?”
Xu Xiaoyan lifted her chin. “Given your attitude, this palace shall grace you with her presence. Mianmian, let’s go!”
Yu Mian nodded. “Okay, no more fighting today. Shake hands and make up — I’ll be the witness.”
Xu Xiaoyan huffed and said nothing. Liang Zhixing walked ahead, leaving behind that haughty, aloof back-of-head.
The family driver was waiting outside the school gate; Liang Zhixing had him drive straight to the restaurant.
Yu Mian leaned against the window and called Pei Songxi. When the call connected, she couldn’t help smiling. “Auntie Pei.”
A clear, mellow voice came through. “Mianmian? What is it?”
Yu Mian reported very seriously, “I won’t be riding home in Uncle Wei’s car today. Xiaoyan and my deskmate and I are going out to eat. I’ll be back a bit later, okay?”
“I understand. Have fun. Don’t come home too late — it’s not safe.”
“Okay! Don’t work too hard either! Come home early!”
Ever since that time as a small child when she rode home alone and gave Pei Songxi a terrible fright, she always told her wherever she went. Xu Xiaoyan always said she was far too obedient. But she knew that wasn’t it.
She simply liked this wordless tether.
At Xu Xiaoyan’s strong recommendation, the three of them went to a Sichuan-Chongqing hotpot restaurant, where the chilies were so red and bright they nearly killed Liang Zhixing.
He clapped a hand over his mouth in accusation. “You’re murdering your own father!”
Xu Xiaoyan shot him a smug look and divided the meat between herself and Yu Mian. “Mianmian, have you decided which middle school you’re going to?”
Yu Mian bit her straw and sipped her orange juice. “Mm, decided. Provincial Affiliated. You?”
Xu Xiaoyan let out a long-suffering sigh. “Me? Can I say I don’t want to go to school?”
“Xiaoyan!”
“No ambition!”
Xu Xiaoyan raised her hands in surrender. “I was wrong, I was wrong! Fine, I’ll test into Provincial Affiliated too!”
The young master had silently toiled as the meat-cooking laborer for a long while, but his tone was still insufferable. “Then I’ll test into Provincial Affiliated too!”
Yu Mian raised her glass. “Come on, cheers!”
“Cheers!”
“Cheers!”
After hotpot, Xu Xiaoyan insisted on ice skating.
The three of them spent another two hours at the rink on the mall’s top floor; by the time they came out it was nine.
The autumn wind already carried a faint chill.
They stood by the roadside, having gathered a pile of plane tree leaves to make bookmarks back home.
Yu Mian felt a dull ache in her lower belly, something not quite right — she didn’t know whether it was the hotpot being too spicy, or…
She thought of the book Auntie Pei had given her, and that flicker of panic subsided. She turned her head to watch the scenery outside the window.
When the driver stopped in front of the house, she couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye to her friends — she hopped out of the car, waving at them as she ran inside.
Auntie Pei… should be home by now, right?
But when she unlocked the door with her key, the living room lights were off.
Yu Mian stood where she was, took a deep breath, ran to her room… and quickly found, in the cabinet by the bed, a pack of…
…Auntie Pei had put it there at some point without saying.
Perhaps every girl felt an instinctive fear the first time her body bled. She was no different… but the moment she saw that book by the bed, she felt she didn’t need to be afraid.
She was beginning to grow up.
Yu Mian buried her face in her pillow and nuzzled it, her cheeks burning faintly. She got up, poured a glass of hot water, drank a little, and felt marginally better.
But she still felt sore, and raw.
If only Auntie Pei were here.
She couldn’t help thinking of her.
But Auntie Pei worked so hard — sometimes when she woke at midnight for water, she could see the study light still on… and there was nothing she could do, and she kept spending her money.
So she couldn’t keep asking her to keep her company. That would be too spoiled.
The girl sighed softly, curled into a small ball on the bed, and fell asleep.
Until she felt her hair being gently lifted and let fall, and caught that faint, elusive woody fragrance… she surfaced from shallow sleep and seized the person’s hand. “Auntie Pei…”
A light rain was falling outside. Pei Songxi had just gotten home, the hair at her forehead lightly dampened by raindrops, a wash of moisture in the air.
She gently tried to free herself. “Mianmian, don’t pull on me. My hands are cold — you shouldn’t touch.”
Yu Mian rubbed her eyes, fully awake now, and turned to see the opened pack on the nightstand — her gaze colliding with Pei Songxi’s. She let out a regretful groan. Why hadn’t she put the things away!
She pulled the blanket over her face, her voice muffled beneath it. “I was a little scared just now.”
Pei Songxi looked at her bashfulness and laughed softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Mianmian, you’ve grown up. It’s a beautiful thing.”
Yu Mian pulled the blanket’s corner down, revealing a pair of jet-bright eyes, looking a little lost. “Really?”
Pei Songxi gently smoothed the stray hairs at her temple. “Of course. When have I ever lied to you?”
Yu Mian shook her head, finally sitting up, and reached out her arms in a spoiled sort of way. “It actually hurts a little. Hug me.”
Pei Songxi shook her head, smiling. “My clothes are wet. You can’t touch me.”
Yu Mian was insistent. “But I’ve grown up now, so you can’t even hug me… I was scared just now, and there was no one home, you weren’t here, I…”
As she spoke, the rims of her eyes reddened.
Pei Songxi had no way with her. She sighed softly and drew her shoulder in. “There, there, Mianmian.”
Her right shoulder was soaked through in a patch; her left side was still dry and faintly fragrant.
Yu Mian leaned close, resting her forehead against her left shoulder, that earlier prickly sensitivity fading. “I’m sorry, Auntie Pei.”
It hardly counted as a hug, but as long as she leaned against her shoulder, she felt safe.
Pei Songxi stroked her stray hairs. “Is it because I’m rarely with you, that you feel wronged?”
Yu Mian’s voice was muffled. “…A little.”
“Then I…”
Pei Songxi stopped. She had never been a tender, considerate person. In others’ eyes she was cold and ruthless, her methods harsh. As for Mianmian… she honestly didn’t know how to keep her company, how to get along with her. Respecting her feelings, letting her grow according to her nature — that much she could do.
But anything warmer — companionship and embraces, care and affection — she truly didn’t know how to give, because she had never possessed these things herself. Perhaps, as Ming Ran said, she was born lacking warmth, cold as ice.
Yu Mian acted spoiled in her arms for a while, then had already recovered. “It’s fine! I was just a tiny bit moody. It’s the hormones, you know. Don’t be nervous.”
Pei Songxi looked into her eyes and nodded slowly. “Then rest early.”
Yu Mian made a sound. “I’ll sleep here. Will you stay with me a while?”
Pei Songxi pressed down the corner of her blanket. “All right. Want a bedtime story?”
Yu Mian’s eyes went round with delight. “I can still get bedtime stories?”
Pei Songxi scraped her nose. “Want one?”
Yu Mian thought for a moment, then shook her head, refusing to let go of her hand. “No need. Just stay with me a little while, a little while is enough. I’ll fall asleep fast. You should go shower early.”
She had always been sensible, and she ached for her too, only pressing her cheek into her palm and nuzzling it gently. “I’ll fall asleep really fast.”
Pei Songxi lowered her eyes, gazing down tenderly. “Mm. Sleep. Your clothes…”
She remembered this, her tone hesitant.
Yu Mian covered her eyes with her palm, every gesture carrying a young girl’s coyness and shyness. “The outer pants are clean… and I washed them myself with hot water… I’ve grown up, you know. I can do things myself now.”
Pei Songxi looked down at her.
Mianmian really had grown up.
She still felt fear, still panicked — but she was gradually learning independence, no longer depending entirely on her… until one day, when she would no longer need her at all.
The feeling brought her a measure of joy, and also a wistful, aching loss.
She shook her head with a smile.
Truly… complicated feelings.
