Help, I’m Being Forced to Marry a Frail and Sickly Immortal Doctor! 57

Chapter 57: The Vast Sea That Once Was

“What exactly is fulfillment?”

A drop of rain fell into the water vat, splashing ripples.

The sound of a falling raindrop then sounded by Ning Ruoque’s ear, startling her awake.

“Drip.”

Ning Ruoque’s vision wavered, gradually clearing from a blur.

Her chest heaved violently, and the sound of the drizzling rain and her gasps merged into one, incomparably real.

She looked down, and her thin, bony wrist came into view. The rolled-up sleeves were covered with layers of patches.

A few strands of stray hair blocked her vision. Ning Ruoque unconsciously shook her head and smoothed the hair on her forehead.

And so, a young and tender face was reflected in the water vat, about eight or nine years old. Her features were open and her eyes were clear and bright, and one could already see a hint of a soul-stirring sharpness.

It was herself as a child.

Ning Ruoque was a little bewildered. Was this a dream or an illusion?

“Ah Man, have you finished fetching the water? Hurry back and take shelter from the rain. Be careful not to catch a cold!” Someone was shouting at Ning Ruoque from under the eaves.

Ning Ruoque turned her head to look. Although she had not intended to move, her body answered on its own, “Alright.”

Then she turned and walked towards the covered corridor, as light as the wind in March and April.

Ning Ruoque tried to regain control of her body, but she still couldn’t.

It was as if she had been possessed, or had become a lonely ghost, only able to attach herself to another’s body and watch a story from the perspective of the person involved.

Ning Ruoque, or rather, Ning Man, carried a full bucket of water through the small courtyard and came to a side room.

Pushing the door open, inside was a large common bed with straw mats, and messy farm tools and miscellaneous items were piled in the corner, emitting a fishy smell of soil.

Ning Man poured the water into a chipped ceramic vat and then used a wooden bucket to catch the rainwater leaking from the roof.

A woman washed her hands with the water in the ceramic vat and then picked up the crying baby beside her.

While coaxing her in a soft voice, she instructed, “Ah Man, when the rain stops, go and patch up the roof.”

Ning Man still only answered with one word, “Alright.”

The environment here really didn’t look like a normal home.

In fact, this place was a charity home funded by a wealthy philanthropist in the city, specifically for taking in abandoned infants and orphans.

Ning Man was a child without a mother or a father.

From as far back as she could remember, she had lived here with a dozen other children.

Ning was a surname she had picked for herself.

Man was a name given to her by the matron of the charity home.

The matron said that this name was very good, meaning that all things would be fulfilled and she would be content.

All living beings in the world walked in the rolling red dust, and they exhausted their efforts just to seek a kind of fulfillment.

Ning Man didn’t really understand. At that time, she just wanted to eat her fill.

The charity home took in many children, and the owner would not provide very good conditions, only barely providing them with some food and clothing.

They still had to work in the fields themselves to feed all the children.

It was the age of growth, and two meals a day were simply not enough to feed Ning Man.

She was hungry every day. When she was extremely hungry at night, she would get up and drink a few mouthfuls of water, then fall asleep in a daze.

Even so, Ning Man was like a sprouting weed, doing her best to absorb nutrients from the barren land.

In that year of lack of food and clothing, she was only nine years old, but she was already taller than her older sisters.

Ning Man sat under the eaves, looking up at the rain gradually stopping.

When the sound of the falling rain gradually slowed down, she went back to the house, picked up a ladder taller than herself, grabbed a handful of thatch, and in a flash, she had climbed onto the roof.

She was tall and strong, didn’t like to talk much, but had a very good temper.

The matrons of the charity home all loved to ask her to do things. Sometimes they would give her a small piece of sesame cake, a steamed bun, or a bowl of not-so-sweet sugar water.

For this little bit of food, Ning Man learned to farm, repair the roof and tables and chairs, and help the matrons in the kitchen.

She quickly patched up the roof, wiped her face, and continued to sit under the eaves in a daze.

Moving too much would make her hungry, so she didn’t like to move when there was no work.

Just then, the woman had coaxed the baby to sleep and came out, first looking left and right.

After confirming that there was no one else nearby, she pulled Ning Man to the side and lowered her voice.

“Ah Man, in a few days, a family is coming to take a look. They are in business, and I heard that the couple is very loving, but they have been childless for many years. You should be more well-behaved and sweet-tongued then. If they take a fancy to you, you will have a home in the future.”

Occasionally, couples would come to the charity home to choose children, but the better the family, the pickier they were.

Only children with good looks, young age, and no disabilities or illnesses would be chosen.

Ning Man thought for a moment and said directly, “Let Sister Qi go. I’m still young. There’s no hurry.”

Sister Qi was half a year older than her. During the slack season, she would take her to the river to catch fish and to the mountains to find wild fruits.

She ate little and often gave Ning Man a small bowl of rice.

That day, when they were working in the fields together, Sister Qi said that she wanted to wear beautiful clothes and have her own room.

Ning Man remembered.

Matron Zhao chided her after hearing this, “You child, you’ll be ten after the New Year. Do you still think you’re young?”

She affectionately pinched Ning Man’s face. “If you can’t find a good family by then, you’ll have to live with this old woman.”

Ning Man didn’t mind and answered readily, “Alright.”

Although she couldn’t eat her fill now, she felt that she would always find a way to eat her fill in the future.

She could learn to be a carpenter, a hunter, or at worst, she could earn some money by slaughtering pigs and cutting wheat for others.

At that time, she would first eat a chicken leg, and the rest of the money would all be given to the matron.

With this in mind, Ning Man tucked her younger sister in, and she herself fell asleep by the bed.

That spring, Qi Fang happily went to her new home. Before she left, she stuffed a small piece of candy into Ning Man’s hand.

Ning Man held the candy in her mouth and for the first time, tasted the sweetness mixed with the fragrance of malt.

She thought it was very good, just not very filling.

Just like she thought that her current life was not bad, although she was always hungry.

Two more years passed like this. In the summer, there was a great drought in the Central Province.

Ning Man would get up at the Yin hour every day, run to the great river twenty kilometers away to carry water, and then carry it back to water the fields.

She would go back and forth three times a day. Any more than that, and she would be dizzy with hunger.

Even so, she only managed to save one-third of the charity home’s crops.

After finally hoping for a rain, however, the heavens did not grant their wish. What followed was a swift and fierce locust plague.

It was destined that there would be no harvest. The matrons of the charity home tossed and turned all night.

The next day, the wealthy merchant who had been funding the charity home sent someone to say that he would no longer provide food and clothing and that they should find their own way.

But with so many children, how could they just disperse?

Ning Man didn’t understand the twists and turns of it, but she saw the matrons’ swollen eyes from crying.

Without much hesitation, Ning Man secretly slipped into the deep mountains that day.

She learned to hunt without a teacher.

At first, she only knew how to set traps to catch rabbits and fish, and could bring one back every two or three days.

Later, she was lucky enough to catch a small deer with a ground spike. She traded the deer skin for a bow and the deer meat for coarse grains.

That bow was extremely crudely made, but she was strong enough, her aim was good enough, and her reaction speed was also beyond an ordinary person’s. Every time she went into the mountains, she would have some harvest.

The charity home was mostly women and children. The younger sisters were still young and needed to be taken care of, and the matrons could only earn a meager salary in the city.

The entire charity home depended on this little bit of food from Ning Man to get through the long years of disaster.

Ning Man had even caught a wild boar, at the cost of a three-inch-long wound.

She dragged the wild boar home under the cover of night, half of her body covered in blood, and she even fetched water as if nothing had happened, preparing to soak her clothes.

Matron Zhao was so heartbroken that she cried, and she hugged her with a trembling grip, stroking her head. “Ah Man, my good Ah Man.”

Thanks to Ning Man’s strong constitution, after a low fever for two or three days, she was full of life again.

After her injury had healed, she had a rare full meal.

A whole basin of bean and millet rice, with a bowl of pickles. She remembered this for many years.

After that, the court’s disaster relief grain was slow to be distributed, and people swarmed into the mountains and rivers, not letting go of a single inch of land.

Not to mention fish in the river, not even a loach could be caught. The land had also been searched several times, and even insects would be dug up and eaten.

The disaster victims who had not eaten for three days were even more terrifying than the legendary hungry ghosts.

Ning Man had no harvest for several days in a row. When she returned to the charity home, she found that it was in a mess.

The kitchen was even worse. Even the firewood had been overturned, and the water vat was broken with a large hole. The matron was holding the younger sisters, her eyes filled with tears.

The starving people had already started to rob the old and weak, and their actions were becoming more and more extreme.

Fortunately, the grain had been hidden by Ning Man on the beams and was spared.

But this was not a solution. Winter was coming.

She inquired everywhere and only then did she know that it was not just the Central Province that was suffering from famine, but the border regions were also in constant turmoil. A large number of refugees had to go south to Qingzhou in order to survive.

The owner who had been funding the charity home had gotten the news early and had rushed to the south overnight.

After discussing, the matrons decided to divide the grain and flee on their own. Perhaps they could still find a way out.

Ning Man did not express an opinion.

She could only watch as several of her younger sisters were sent away.

Some went with childless couples, some went to large households in the south as maids, and some joined merchant caravans to do odd jobs.

They were all kites with broken strings, their bodies not their own, their future uncertain.

And the place where she had lived since she was a child had thus fallen apart.

The window that had been smashed by the hungry people that day had still not been repaired.

She was the only one left in the common bed. The cold wind constantly poured in through the broken hole, and she often felt cold when she slept at night.

Ning Man and a younger sister followed Matron Zhao, and Matron Zhao was a good cook. Ning Man’s cooking skills were all learned from her.

Matron Zhao begged and pleaded in front of a southbound merchant caravan with horses and grain before the leader finally agreed.

If they signed a contract of sale, they could go with them. But they could only bring two people. Any more was out of the question.

Matron Zhao was so worried that her eyes were red, and she kept wiping her tears.

When she saw Ning Man, she cried even more.

The little girl from back then had already grown into a graceful young woman, with clear and open features. Any more would be too beautiful, any less would be too indifferent.

She hugged Ning Man, crying uncontrollably. “Ah Man, my good Ah Man.”

Ning Man paused and gently patted Matron Zhao’s back.

Beside the woman stood a timid little girl, staring at her with an uneasy expression, her hands tightly clutching Matron Zhao’s sleeve.

Ning Man and her younger sister were of similar age, but she knew the difference between them.

Her younger sister was the matron’s own daughter.

She had heard that the merchant caravan could only provide food for two people, and she alone could eat five bowls, which was really not suitable.

So on the second morning, Ning Man filled herself with water, took a piece of pancake, and walked alone into the foggy fields.

She followed a large group of refugees to Qingzhou.

The refugee group passed through the deep mountains, and so she learned that after setting up camp, all traces had to be cleaned up so as not to be found by wolves.

She learned which mushrooms were edible, and which would make one feel sick all day.

The refugee group encountered robbers, and so she understood that showing weakness was meaningless.

She learned how to hold a hatchet more steadily, and how to simply treat her own wounds.

The refugee group encountered the court’s army, and Ning Man killed for the first time.

The little girl who was saved was splattered with blood, her eyes full of terror. After thanking her with a trembling voice, she quickly ran away.

And she washed her own hands and calmly took a bite of the dirty steamed bun.

Just like that, she arrived in Qingzhou without any danger, and only then did the refugees discover that the situation here was not optimistic either.

The price of grain had been driven up to sky-high, bandits were rampant, the people could not live in peace, and the emperor was still singing and dancing in the palace every night.

The emperor star had shifted, and the Ziwei star was without light. Most of the immortal sects followed the Heavenly Dao and avoided the world. No one could save them.

It was unknown who had shouted the first “Are kings and nobles born to be so?”

And so, several rebel armies emerged in the Nine Provinces. There were jianghu ruffians, border soldiers, and of course, imperial relatives.

For example, that incomparably noble Zhenguo Eldest Princess.

Ning Man paid attention to these mainly because someone was secretly recruiting soldiers and horses on the streets, and women could also join.

“You’ll get a steamed bun if you come,” she had said, and Ning Man had believed her.

Heaven knows, at a time like this, how difficult it was to get a steamed bun.

She fought with the refugees for food every day, and could only get some broken rice dregs, and she had to hide in a remote corner to eat.

That heroic woman looked at her and felt that something was not right. She asked several times, “Miss, how old are you? Are you seventeen?”

Ning Man very calmly wrote down her name. “Mm, I just turned seventeen this year.”

She was tall, and others couldn’t tell.

So she mixed into the rebel army again. There was wheat rice for every meal, and occasionally steamed buns.

Ning Man wanted to live. It didn’t matter if she could eat her fill or not.

She began to learn the long spear, the crossbow, and all the weapons that could kill the enemy.

She learned the basics of fist techniques, breathing techniques, and all the techniques that could keep her alive.

Ning Man learned very quickly and was also very hardworking.

She practiced day and night. Wind, frost, rain, and snow could not stop her, as if she were born for the battlefield.

She killed countless people, and in the dead of night, she would bandage her own wounds alone.

She had earned the eldest princess’s appreciation with her military merits. Occasionally, when she was bored, she would also go up to the city wall to look at the stars.

Just like that, stepping over the blood of countless people, the army Ning Man was in was like a long sword, straight into the heart of Jingzhou.

And Ning Man was the sharpest blade on this sword.

Wherever she went, she would make the enemy tremble with fear. The trophies she had won were almost all the heads of the enemy generals.

The eldest princess had gotten drunk at the victory banquet and had once smiled and patted her shoulder. “In the future, if the great cause is achieved, I will enfeoff you as a marquis of ten thousand households.”

At that time, Ning Man already held the position of a general. She lowered her eyes and looked at the empty plate in front of her.

She asked in a low voice, “Then will there be enough steamed buns?”

The eldest princess laughed until she was bent over. “Of course! You can eat as much as you want. It’s fine even if you eat until you’re full!”

“Also, Ah Man, go and read some more books.”

Ning Man had not read much before. Her battlefield command was all based on her own intuition.

But the eldest princess had sent her many books, so she would read a few pages before she went to sleep. She would mark the characters she didn’t know with a red pen and then ask her deputy general when she had time.

With such a slow speed and extremely low efficiency, she actually managed to finish the books.

But whether it was reading or fighting, Ning Man still began to look forward to all of this ending soon.

When the world was at peace, she would raise a small cat.

She would plant flowers in the courtyard in the spring, go to the mountains to cool off in the summer, and take the small cat hunting in the autumn.

When winter came, she and the small cat would nestle by the stove and eat roasted persimmon cakes.

She waited for another year, and most of the territory had been taken by the eldest princess.

Just as victory was in sight, that tyrant suddenly led his personal army to attack their rear.

There were no natural barriers near Qingzhou, and the eldest princess was too eager for quick success, so much so that her decision was wrong, and he actually broke through like a hot knife through butter.

Qingzhou was the army’s granary, and there were also many people living here.

The eldest princess was busy attacking the capital and was unable to be in two places at once. She thought of Ning Man again, this sharpest sword of hers.

She pulled Ning Man and said sincerely, “I trust you the most, Ah Man. If you can return victorious, I will enfeoff you.”

“Whether this matter can be fulfilled, it all depends on Ah Man.”

Ning Man listened absent-mindedly and suddenly remembered what the matron had said to her back then—

“All living beings in the world walk in the rolling red dust, and they exhaust their efforts just to seek a kind of fulfillment.”

What exactly is fulfillment?

Is peace in the world fulfillment? Is family reunion fulfillment? Is getting what one wishes for fulfillment?

Ning Man couldn’t figure it out.

At that time, she only bowed respectfully. “Man has no relatives or friends, and no ties. Before I leave, there is only one thing I would like to ask Your Highness for help with.”

The eldest princess knitted her brows. “You may speak.”

“I want—”

Before her voice could fall, in an instant, the light and shadow all dispersed, and the eldest princess’s face turned into bizarre fragments.

Countless fragments then rolled into a wind, surrounding Ning Ruoque.

She only felt that it was difficult to breathe, and her head was throbbing with pain, so much so that even she had to bend over, wanting to knock herself out.

Ning Ruoque gasped violently, unable to mobilize a single bit of spiritual energy. Until a thick darkness enveloped her, and she lost consciousness.

*

A drop of rain fell into the water vat, splashing ripples.

The sound of a falling raindrop then sounded by Ning Ruoque’s ear, startling her awake.

“Drip.”

Ning Ruoque came back to her senses again and looked down at her thin, bony wrist.

“Hmm?” She frowned.

Why is it starting all over again?

Where is the flaw in this illusionary realm?

She was very anxious, but in just a few breaths, she had lost control of her body again.

She could only watch foolishly, unable to do anything.

Even an experienced person like Ning Ruoque couldn’t help but pace anxiously in her mind at this moment.

If she doesn’t find a way to get out soon, Yin Buran will probably cry from anger!