Her Tentacles 39

Chapter 39: Shattered

The soulful and ethereal music was still playing, but no dancers were dancing on the dance floor anymore. A misty fog had risen from somewhere, as if blown in from the sea, making the light beams cast by the colorful rotating disco balls more three-dimensional—

Shu Yao felt as if she could no longer see Lin Ran and Situ Jin’s figures clearly.

They seemed to be about to be submerged in the thick fog.

“Just one more chance/”

Even the lyrics of the music were urging her to make a choice, but which one could she choose? She was afraid she wouldn’t have a second chance to start over, because both Lin Ran and Situ Jin were people she had to hold on to.

“‘Cause the night is getting cold and I don’t know where I belong/”

Shu Yao was like walking on a tightrope on a cliff, swaying in the cold wind, about to fall to pieces at any moment. The immense pressure enveloped her, making her feel cold and suffocated.

Mu Qing’s words became a sharp hammer, striking her slender and fragile nerves. And she, helpless, could only watch as she fell into the abyss.

‘Your choices always seem to be wrong.’

‘It was the same before, and it’s the same now.’

Shu Yao’s face grew paler, and she stood there, teetering. She finally knew why people would choose to close their eyes when facing great fear, because that way they could deceive themselves into thinking that none of it had happened.

Now she was the same, closing her eyes in despair, unable to help but think, if only she had stopped Situ Jin from coming to this ball in the morning, if only she had pulled her friend and lover away when those ominous masks shattered, how good would that have been?

If only these strange, stinking, ghostly figures could disappear from this world immediately, how good would that be?

Just disappear!

She wished that all of this was her illusion, that she was the mental patient who had imagined the entire cruise ship as a monster’s playground. It would be best if all of this was just a delusion from her persecutory paranoia!

Disappear, just disappear—

…

The air on the dance floor seemed to have stopped flowing.

Shu Yao’s eyelashes trembled more and more violently. She had never closed her eyes so tightly, praying to all the gods and buddhas. For a moment, she could even count her own heartbeat clearly, and even vaguely hear her own brain nerves, in this hysterical scream that only she could hear, letting out a mournful cry of being overwhelmed.

But the next second.

She quickly realized that these prayers were useless.

Forcing herself to open her eyes again with her last bit of reason, Shu Yao pinched her thigh hard, forcing herself to open her eyes again, to face the… predicament?

Dressed in a gray dress, she opened her light brown pupils wide.

She even blinked hard and carefully.

However, Situ Jin and Lin Ran’s surroundings were empty. There were no ghostly figures surrounded by thick fog, no stinking dancers. It was as if they had all vanished into thin air.

And the originally empty dance floor was now filled with pairs of dancers, frozen in their poses, just as the music had finished.

“Just one last dance/”

“before we say goodbye/”

The background music was still singing these two lines.

It made Shu Yao’s expression dazed. In the dimly lit, flickering dance floor, she couldn’t tell what was real and what was illusory—

Or perhaps, everything just now, the ghostly figures, the unpleasant smells, the so-called choice between friendship and love, were all just images she had imagined in the throes of a severe paranoid delusion!

“when we sway and turn around and round and round/”

Shu Yao turned around in a daze to look at Mu Qing, who had just called her “Yaoyao.” She saw the blue earring on her ear, which was most like the taste Lin Jingshu would choose.

And Mu Qing looked at her as she turned around, her expression filled with surprise, so much so that the smile on her lips became even more moving, and her voice was so gentle it seemed to be dripping with water.

“Do you want to dance with me, Teacher Shu?”

Shu Yao heard her ask this, saw her expression, and heard the song in the background sing:

“it’s like the first time/”

Shu Yao’s eyes were wide open, and she stared at her for a long time, but there was no Lin Jingshu’s voice, no scheming thoughts, nothing. Mu Qing just extended her hand to her, patiently waiting for her to choose her as a dance partner and place her hand in her palm.

But in the end, she did not get to be chosen.

Because the shallow-haired woman, dressed like a princess, suddenly raised her hand to cover her face, let out a scream, and turned and ran out of the dance floor, as if she were running away from her own embarrassment.

Shu Yao ran so fast that no one had time to react.

Situ Jin’s entire vision had been shrouded in mist just now. Hearing the song, which had reached its end and whose pitch had become even higher, she thought of the many shadows that seemed to have surrounded her when the mist rose, and which had all retreated when the mist dissipated. Her expression became thoughtful.

She suddenly raised her hand and touched the bracelet on her wrist, which had been hidden under various jackets and long sleeves these past few days and had not changed at all. Seeing the tourists who were frozen in their actions like puppets, she suddenly felt that this place was very strange.

Although she didn’t know what Shu Yao had experienced in that short moment, she quickly chased after her.

Before she left, she said to Lin Ran, “Go and find Yaoyao first. After you find her, you two go back to your room and stay there. Don’t come out again.”

However, Lin Ran, who had always been regarded by her as a clingy person, whose figure and gaze were always on Shu Yao, at this moment, uncharacteristically did not choose to walk out of the dance floor first, but instead walked straight toward Mu Qing, who was still left in the center.

As she approached, the shadow under her feet, swayed by the scattered lights, became more and more intense, as if a storm was about to be stirred up.

Until she had seen those prey appear and disappear just now, and thought of the abyss rift that had been summoned at the bottom of the sea a few days ago, and this Mu Qing, whom she had loathed from the first sight, as if she were a nemesis firmly remembered by her genes…

All the confusion about this ship was now solved.

So there really was a being like her, who had come out of the abyss.

Lin Ran thought so clearly.

“Have you finally realized my existence?” Compared to her belated anger, Mu Qing was in a good mood, especially when she thought of the masterpiece that had happened in front of her just now, which was like a magic trick. She sighed and half-closed her eyes, saying:

“But, you want to find trouble with me now?”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t be at ease letting such a treasure run around on this ship full of monsters.” She reminded this person, who always liked to fight alone, with a bright smile. “Because a treasure like this always needs to be watched closely, lest it be snatched away by someone when you’re not paying attention, don’t you think?”

…

At this moment.

The “treasure” at the center of the two monsters’ conversation was not in any dangerous place on the ship, and she didn’t even know that her friend was trying to find her.

Ever since she had fled the dance floor, Shu Yao had run back to her room in one go, burying herself under the houndstooth-patterned thin blanket on the sofa, like a small snail that had even retracted its antennae into its shell, only wanting to hide in its safe house.

She lay there quietly, emptying her mind, not thinking about anything, not thinking about why she had suddenly gone crazy, not thinking about what kind of image she would have in others’ eyes after she had screamed and left just now—

In short, she covered her ears with her hands, closed her eyes tightly, and tried to fall asleep on the sofa like this, as if as long as she could still fall asleep, she could find the courage to face whatever the world looked like when she woke up.

The room was very quiet.

Only the sound of the cruise ship breaking through the sea surface outside the window, creating waves.

It was unknown how much time had passed, but Shu Yao felt a cool temperature holding the ankle of her foot that was sticking out of the sofa, not covered by her thin blanket. The other person’s movements were very light as they unfastened the thin high-heeled shoe chain for her and helped her take off her shoes.

During this time, Shu Yao began to tremble uncontrollably, like a timid little cat that had been discovered even though it had already hidden in the closet, nervously watching the crack in the closet door, afraid that a human would rush in at any moment and drag her out.

However, Lin Ran did not do this.

She just took off Shu Yao’s shoes, then pulled open a corner of the thin blanket and covered her foot with it.

Then the sofa next to her sank, letting Shu Yao know that she was just sitting there quietly, accompanying her.

Plop, plop.

The loud sound of tears falling on the sofa cushion entered Shu Yao’s own ears.

Lin Ran’s tolerant manner of not saying or asking anything suddenly made her feel wronged. She had had a problem with her sense of smell, then auditory hallucinations, and now visual hallucinations. She had run out of the dance floor in front of everyone like a madwoman—

But Lin Ran could always tolerate and understand her.

She suddenly remembered when she was in elementary school. Because she was too quiet and didn’t talk much, her deskmate would always snatch her eraser and pencil, and copy her test answers. At that time, she wouldn’t complain to the teacher, but would just stare at her homework with all her might, as if that would make the wrong words disappear on their own.

Later, Mrs. Shu, who also taught at this school, happened to pass by and saw her deskmate bullying her. Thinking of the school’s reputation, she resolutely took her to another, better school.

The day Mrs. Shu saw her being bullied, Shu Yao thought she would definitely be scolded.

Because her mother was always particularly strict with her, not allowing her to be too lively, like Lin Jingshu, who would run around outside every holiday, nor allowing her to be too introverted, not even knowing to greet her elders during the New Year.

Such a pathetic her, she would definitely be scolded again.

She thought so, so when she got home and went into her room, she buried herself in the quilt, waiting for Mrs. Shu to come in, drag her out, and teach her a lesson.

But there was nothing.

That day, she was so stuffy in the quilt that her face turned red several times. She stretched out to get some air, but she never waited for Mrs. Shu to come and scold her. Then she accidentally fell asleep and suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, only to see a figure sitting by her bed.

Seeing that she had kicked off the quilt, Mrs. Shu even tucked her back in, and she didn’t even know that she had woken up in fright. She even carefully tucked in her hands and feet.

It was at that moment that Shu Yao suddenly realized that she seemed to be loved by such a strict mother.

…

But Lin Ran was different from Mrs. Shu.

From the very beginning of their meeting until now, she seemed to have never made any demands on Shu Yao. She was not like Mrs. Shu, who wanted her child to be independent, strong, neither servile nor overbearing, yet always made her grow up with those strange rules and shackles. She was also not like Lin Jingshu, who on the one hand loved her innocence, and on the other hand wanted her to be unrestrained for her.

It was as if Lin Ran had been born to love her from the moment they met.

Whether she was innocent, rebellious, normal, or crazy.

Shu Yao didn’t know when she had poked her head out from under the thin blanket, and all those tears had flowed onto the other’s black dress. And Lin Ran, at first, just stroked her curly long hair, which had been styled by the stylist and had been messed up just now, with her palm, again and again.

She heard a very light sigh from Lin Ran.

Then—

The other person held her face, leaned down, and licked away the tear stains on her face, bit by bit. The soft tip of her tongue brushed against Shu Yao’s warm cheek, and was finally a little warmer than the tears on her cold face.

Shu Yao cried even louder. She raised her hand and hugged Lin Ran’s neck. At this moment, she suddenly wanted to forget everything, forget those abnormalities, those crazy phenomena, and the fact that she might have become a mental patient. She just wanted to immerse herself in her girlfriend’s all-encompassing love, like the sea.

She sobbed and acted spoiled:

“Lin Ran… hold me, hold me, please?”

As she spoke, she even took the initiative to kiss the other’s lips, like a little cat that had finally heard its owner’s voice and had been hiding in the closet for a long time, finally willing to come out, lie down and expose its belly, rubbing its head against the floor, using all means to keep the person who could give it a sense of security.

It was also like a gambler who had thrown all his chips on the table, praying that the goddess of victory would always favor him.

Lin Ran wanted to turn her head away several times, wanted to say something, but was entangled again by Shu Yao’s initiative and passion. Later, even their kisses were mixed with the salty taste of tears.

“Hold me, I want to be held—” she demanded again and again.

Even though her girlfriend had finally compromised and had trapped her in her arms with both hands, Shu Yao still felt it was not enough.

Her girlfriend seemed to be about to break.

Lin Ran looked at the crying person in her arms, and such a description inexplicably appeared in her heart.

The monster, which had always let its tentacles roam in search of exquisite bottles—letting them linger, slip inside to rest, and then discarding them once bored, watching as they drifted with the ocean currents and shattered against underwater reefs—had, for the first time, encountered a problem.

She didn’t know how to repair a broken bottle.

So she could only do her best, wanting to make Shu Yao happy again, to show those shy, vivid, and bright-eyed looks of the past.

Whatever the other person wanted to do, she would satisfy them one by one, as if that would make the bottle break a little later.

Even when Shu Yao now pulled her hand, and went down the slit of the gray long dress that was like a withered rose, and stroked the skin of a human thigh, with its distinct texture, delicate and warm.

But it was still not enough—

Lin Ran heard her girlfriend cry like this, “Not enough, still not enough, more…”

She wanted more, enough pleasure to offset the pain of this reality.