Chapter 30: Relief | Regret

A clap of thunder struck down, and Gan Xun nearly spilled the coffee in her cup.

“What did you say?”

She must not have controlled her expression well, because Zhao Chiyun watched her panic with keen interest before smiling gracefully.

“We’re only an arm’s length apart. Why shout so loudly?”

Gan Xun had no time to mind her words and couldn’t help confirming once more. “Are you really?”

Zhao Chiyun glanced at her again, sat down lightly beside her, and casually picked up a book to flip through.

“Don’t be scared. I was just teasing you.”

“. . .”

Seeing how nonchalant she was, and that it didn’t seem like a coming-out moment, Gan Xun immediately believed her.

Still shaken, she asked, “That’s so weird. Why did you trick me?”

“I saw that your place here has enlightened customs, where liking men or liking women is no big deal. I just said it offhand to tease you. Is that not allowed?”

She lifted her gaze from the book and looked at her elegantly.

“But you, Gan Xun—why such a big reaction? Your face even went pale. What’s this? Everyone else can be, but not me?”

Gan Xun subconsciously touched her face, thinking it couldn’t be that pale—maybe she just hadn’t caught her breath.

Realizing she’d been a bit flustered earlier, she immediately felt embarrassed.

“Of course you can be. I just thought you didn’t seem like it. It’s unbelievable. If you say it’s a joke, then it’s a joke.”

She even forced a cooperative smile, feeling silly about it.

“Where do I not seem like it?”

Zhao Chiyun wouldn’t let it go.

Gan Xun felt terribly guilty and didn’t want to be pressed, so she shifted the conflict. “You first—why did you touch my lips last night?”

Zhao Chiyun didn’t understand the title or content of the book in her hands. She didn’t even recognize all the characters, let alone when strung together.

Hearing the question, she paused for a moment before replying calmly as ever. “I just learned that a kiss is meant to comfort. Last night, I thought this kiss was what you mentioned before—something you couldn’t help after drinking. So I wanted to test it out, to see just how ‘unable to help oneself’ it was.”

“In the end, no results. Satisfied?”

How could she say it so righteously?

Gan Xun felt she really needed to learn that poise from her—no matter how absurd the topic, she always looked calm and composed.

The back-and-forth of their conversation was filled with probing, each harboring doubts, and neither really wanted to keep talking.

Gan Xun ended the topic first. “Alright, I need to study. Little Zhao, you can withdraw now.”

Zhao Chiyun’s face was expressionless as she stared at the bold commoner, her gaze dark and brooding, but she didn’t flare up.

“You promised not to call me that.”

Gan Xun realized she wouldn’t let others tarnish her noble surname, so she quickly corrected herself and called out remedially, “Chiyun, Chiyun.”

Afterward, she said sincerely, “You can call me Little Gan, Little Xun, Little Commoner—anything goes. I’m not picky about that stuff.”

Zhao Chiyun pressed her lips together, barely holding back the smile that was about to bloom.

Gan Xun was such an interesting person.

“You’re taking an exam? For what position?”

Gan Xun picked up her homemade latte again. “To serve the country, I guess. Stable job—young people all go for it.”

Zhao Chiyun got it. “So, entering officialdom through the imperial examinations.”

“To be precise, I just want to be a lowly yamen runner. Anything higher is out of reach, and I have no interest anyway.”

Zhao Chiyun wasn’t surprised. “With your background and no one to guide you, your path is naturally blocked. Even if you were interested, it’d be hard to ascend the high halls.”

Gan Xun had grown numb to the jabs and noticed how calm she was. “Aren’t you curious why a woman can take the exam?”

She’d hoped Zhao Chiyun would sigh in envy upon learning she was taking the exam, but instead, she just kept poking at her sore spots.

Zhao Chiyun drawled slowly, glancing sideways at her. “The Mirror Country once had an emperor who was a woman. What’s so strange about women becoming officials or prime ministers?”

Gan Xun blurted out, “Wu Zetian.”

Wasn’t this just the Tang Dynasty with a different name?

“There wasn’t just one Wu Emperor.”

Zhao Chiyun looked at her with sympathy and pity. “Gan Xun, don’t be so feudal.”

“. . .”

She’d picked up all the wrong things.

The feudal Gan Xun suffered humiliation from her ignorance of Mirror Country history.

Once she learned Gan Xun was going to study seriously, Zhao Chiyun stopped talking to her.

Gan Xun then quietly hunched over her desk, working through practice questions. Of course, she stole a few glances at Zhao Chiyun during that time.

Zhao Chiyun had learned a relaxed sitting posture, imitating Gan Xun perfectly. She half-reclined on the sofa, wearing blue wired earphones and playing on the tablet.

The misty blue earphone cord complemented Zhao Chiyun’s skin tone, making it even more hazy as it dangled from her ear like a priceless piece of jewelry.

Gan Xun thought sharing earphones—especially wired ones—was an intimate thing.

But seeing Zhao Chiyun wear them, she didn’t mind at all. She even imagined sharing one each, listening to Zhao Chiyun’s little world together.

From Gan Xun’s angle, aside from her unrealistically high looks, her posture playing on the tablet made her seem like a modern person.

Her mood was very calm, without a trace of sorrow.

It was as if the woman from last night—who had woken from a dream in despair and sobbed loudly—was just Gan Xun’s dream.

But it hadn’t been a dream. The warmth of those tears had once flowed from Gan Xun’s collar all the way to her lungs.

She still hadn’t showered since last night, so if she were to collect evidence, traces of Zhao Chiyun would still be on her body—though only she cared.

Her lips still held the sensation of being lightly caressed. Even after finishing her coffee and drinking water, she couldn’t wash it away.

Zhao Chiyun’s explanation felt half-true, half-false, but she had no reason not to believe it.

Still, she wasn’t anxious about what had happened. In moments of sudden inspiration, people often did things in a daze.

She had uncontrollably wanted to kiss Zhao Chiyun without thinking if she should or shouldn’t. Midnight Zhao Chiyun had cried so heartbreakingly that she wanted to do something.

Maybe Zhao Chiyun touching her was the same logic—bad mood, or just fidgeting and touching randomly.

It wasn’t something she couldn’t get past.

Noon came without power. Gan Xun made a light, refreshing cold noodle dish with fresh cucumber shreds.

Zhao Chiyun silently marveled at how each meal was worse than the last. In a few days, Gan Xun might lead her out begging on the streets.

In thirty-degree heat without a fan, they sweated through their meal.

Gan Xun planned to shower first. Seeing Zhao Chiyun wilted from the heat, with fine beads of sweat on her pert nose tip, she felt an urge to reach out and touch one.

Zhao Chiyun went to splash her face on her own and came out complaining plaintively, “I miss standing fans and air conditioners so much.”

Gan Xun helped her inquire and learned the power would likely return before evening.

She hoped the property management would be reliable this time.

Soon after the meal, they went to bed for a nap.

The curtains were drawn, and the breeze made the blue fabric flutter endlessly, like a hypnotic symbol.

Lying on the same bed again made Gan Xun a bit uneasy. She’d wanted to say she could nap on the sofa, but Zhao Chiyun didn’t give her the chance.

She patted both her pillow and Gan Xun’s, arranged them nicely, and gestured for Gan Xun to lie down.

Gan Xun couldn’t act like she had a guilty conscience.

But last night’s interactions lingered in Gan Xun’s mind.

She was always relieved that Zhao Chiyun hadn’t held today’s gasping reaction against her.

That opening joke about sexual orientation—afterward, Gan Xun couldn’t say if she felt more relieved or more regretful.

What was the relief? And what was the regret?

The room was too stuffy. Truth be told, she hadn’t thought deeply about it. She only knew she felt thoroughly excited right now.

Maybe it was the caffeine.

She ground her teeth against her lip to let the pain cover the restlessness and itch in her heart.

At three-thirty in the afternoon, the alarm in the room rang several times.

Zhao Chiyun was sleeping deeply and got annoyed by the noise, reaching out to push Gan Xun a few times.

She wanted her to turn it off, but Gan Xun didn’t react.

Zhao Chiyun sleepily opened her eyes, annoyance on her face. She irritably prepared to lean over Gan Xun to turn it off.

As she lazily propped herself up to reach for the phone on the desk, Gan Xun finally woke. Her eyes and body activated at once.

Her motion to roll over for the phone collided with Zhao Chiyun’s—not hard, but Zhao Chiyun was caught off guard and fell onto her with a startled cry.

The weight banished Gan Xun’s drowsiness completely. She didn’t understand why Zhao Chiyun was sprawled on top of her, afraid she’d overthink it again. They stared at each other in bewilderment.

Scent and sight first captivated Zhao Chiyun. Gan Xun’s fresh post-shower smell and the slim lines of her body everywhere made her feel fondness.

Close contact with Gan Xun was never unpleasant.

Only then did she say impatiently, “The alarm.”

Gan Xun tried to move and found she had no intention of doing so. Embarrassed, she said, “Get up first.”

Zhao Chiyun said nothing and lay back on her own pillow.

Gan Xun quickly turned off the alarm.

She checked the time. As expected, the “twenty-minute nap” concept was like a child saying, “When I grow up, I want to be a scientist.”

Even with Zhao Chiyun beside her, it was no exception.

They slept even more soundly together.

Not long after they woke, the power came back. Both were thrilled, and cheers erupted simultaneously from other buildings.

Zhao Chiyun especially flashed her brightest smile and ran to the balcony to listen to the various celebrations from neighboring homes.

Gan Xun couldn’t help worrying how the County Princess would adjust from luxury to frugality once back in the Mirror Country.

Lights and cool air flooded the small space without restraint. While enjoying it, Gan Xun boredly began to miss the 24 hours of blackout.

The typhoon howled, devastating everything. Accompanying her was Zhao Chiyun—they’d been so close in the darkness.

At the closest, she’d thought of taking Zhao Chiyun’s fingertip into her mouth.

Whenever she tried to sum it up, she couldn’t stay calm.

But she didn’t voice it. To the County Princess, it would be adding frost to snow.

She was already a tiger brought low in the flat lands, and now with wind, blackout too.

During chat, she told Cui Can about the power coming back. Cui Can immediately video-called.

Zhao Chiyun answered, and the other end exclaimed upon seeing her, “County Princess, when did you cut your hair!”

Gan Xun then remembered that with all the events these past two days, she’d forgotten to tell Cui Can.

“Yesterday, before the flooding. Gan Xun accompanied me.”

Zhao Chiyun chuckled lightly and asked her, “Doesn’t it look good?”

“It looks good, sure, but it’s such a shame. Did you cry?”

“No.”

Zhao Chiyun denied it lightly and quickly, saying calmly, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do. This is fine.”

“You look even prettier now. You’re too perfect.”

Only after praising did Cui Can pretend to ask, “Gan Xun, can I compliment her?”

“Compliment away. Why ask me?”

Gan Xun huffed.

“I saw you weren’t saying anything. Afraid you were secretly jealous.”

Zhao Chiyun immediately turned to look at her upon hearing that.

Gan Xun hurriedly denied it and shot Cui Can a warning glare. “Watch your words. Keep talking nonsense, and the County Princess will exterminate your nine generations.”

“My bad, my bad. This lowly one dares not.” Cui Can played along perfectly.

Then she asked super casually, “In your ancient times, what do you call a County Princess’s husband?”

Before Zhao Chiyun could answer, Gan Xun cut off the topic.

Gan Xun told her she would take Zhao Chiyun shopping tomorrow.

Cui Can, who was very free, said, “Perfect timing—I’m home all alone and bored. I’ll drive to pick you up. We’ll go together. Didn’t the County Princess tell me to pick her up?”

Zhao Chiyun wasn’t having it. “I said that last night. Now, whether you pick me up or not makes no difference.”

“Yes, yes. Oh, speaking of last night—how was your candle play last night?”

Every topic twisted to romance. Gan Xun couldn’t take it and snatched back the phone. “So curious? Come tomorrow, and we’ll play candles together.”

Cui Can wasn’t interested. “Thanks for the invite, but no thanks. I never play three-person games.”

Gan Xun angrily hung up the video.

Zhao Chiyun, who had watched for a bit, leaned close to her face, making Gan Xun’s heart suddenly skip, anxious and tense. “What’s wrong?”

“She was joking. Don’t be mad. When she comes tomorrow, I’ll talk to her properly.”

Zhao Chiyun tilted her head and said, “I noticed that when she makes vulgar jokes with you, you don’t get scared. You even strike back.”

Gan Xun caught on. Zhao Chiyun hadn’t forgotten. Zhao Chiyun seemed to mind her panic that morning.