Chapter 23: Repression p1
The white wolf, who could traverse the polar night of the North Island with ease, at this moment, only felt her vision go black and blurry.
What did she just see!?
On the yellowed pages, in a snow-white bathtub, long black hair was intertwined. In the swirling steam, fingers were interlocked, with only a teacher’s pointer bobbing up and down on the rippling water’s surface.
Adele’s throat tightened. She swallowed dryly, her breathing chaotic amidst her racing heart.
More impactful than the image were the words “teacher and student.”
The little rabbit, instead of sleeping in the middle of the night, had run to the classroom to look at lesbian art! The explicitness of it, if placed on Koukou Literature City, would have been locked!
Was it curiosity?
Why was it specifically a teacher-student theme?
In just a few short moments, she remembered the day Lina had been overcome with jealousy, remembered the young woman’s questioning.
Adele held the answer, and also a sliver of wishful thinking.
Perhaps, Lina was really just curious.
Perhaps, Lina’s feelings for her were not love, but just dependence.
Perhaps…
Adele’s mind was in a mess. She realized that she had to face this problem head-on.
Among the countless possibilities, the one she hoped for the most, and the one she hoped for the least, were the same.
The classroom was dimly lit. Two pairs of eyes suddenly met. Lina felt as if she were sitting on pins and needles.
I absolutely cannot let Teacher know that she’s a bad student!
Absolutely not!
“Teacher!” Lina kicked the picture book away. “I… I…”
I wasn’t looking at lesbian art, I was here to study hysteria, to prepare to feign illness.
This was the truth, but she couldn’t say it.
A blatant deception was even worse.
The three words “Teacher and Student Bathing” disappeared from Adele’s sight, but she didn’t feel any relief.
“It’s not!” Lina eagerly took half a step forward. “It’s really not what you think!”
At this moment, anything she said seemed pale.
Adele asked, “Then what were you doing?”
Lina’s breathing was rapid. What on earth was she supposed to say?
She absolutely could not confess her true purpose, but how to explain the picture book on the floor?
Say it was an accident? No one would believe it.
Silence was already an answer. Adele looked at the extremely awkward Lina before her and sighed silently.
The little rabbit stood there with her head bowed, her face bright red. Her two ears were twisted together again, getting tighter and tighter. From one angle, it was guilt; from another, it was panic.
“Winter is coming soon. The nights are getting cold. Come back with me.” Adele couldn’t bear to press her and took the initiative to hold out her hand.
Lina glanced at her, observing her carefully. After confirming that there was no anger or disappointment in those dark green eyes, she dared to move closer and take hold of Adele’s index finger.
She didn’t dare to hold it too tightly, just a loose grip.
In the past, Adele would have taken the initiative to wrap her entire hand, holding her firmly in her palm. But today—
Adele didn’t!
The slightest movement was enough to break the connection between the two of them.
Moisture welled up in Lina’s eyes. The timid rabbit’s tail was trembling constantly.
Is Teacher angry?
She pulled at her trousers, hiding her pathetic tail, and also hiding her emotions.
On the way back to the room, Adele’s expression was blank, even a little heavy.
Lina didn’t dare to speak casually, silently holding her hand.
A light rain pattered against the window lattice. A cold draft floated in the corridor. Adele pushed open the door. The dry wood in the fireplace made a faint crackling sound, finally breaking the deathly silence.
She stood at the door and said, “You go to sleep first. I’ll go check if the medicinal soup is ready.”
Adele had no intention of entering the room at all.
Lina’s fingertips trembled. It was as if a basin of cold water had been poured over her head, chilling her to the bone.
“You…”
You’re not going to sleep with me anymore?
Not sleeping together anymore!?
Sleeping in separate beds!?
The rabbit tail hidden in her trousers instantly puffed up into a spiky ball. Lina bit her lip, a hint of annoyance mixed with her panic.
Want to sleep in separate beds?
Impossible!
Lina’s brow furrowed slightly, and a thin layer of mist immediately appeared in her eyes. She looked at Adele, her teary-eyed appearance mixed with grievance and unease. But she didn’t try to keep her, nor did she try to argue. She just said in an obedient voice, “Goodnight, Teacher.”
She knew very well what kind of expression could arouse the pity of the person before her.
The room was not lit. The faint light from the fireplace outlined Lina’s slightly thin back. She had grown taller during this time and was also stronger than before. But her body had been depleted, after all, and one or two months of nourishment was far from enough.
Adele looked at Lina’s back and couldn’t help but feel her heart ache again. After holding it in for a long time, she finally said, “Goodnight.”
…
The door was gently closed. Lina’s expression immediately changed. She looked at the door coldly. After confirming that the footsteps had faded away, she walked barefoot to the window.
Adele, holding an umbrella, walked into the curtain of rain. She walked quickly, as if a ghost were chasing her from behind, every step chaotic and hurried.
Lina stared at her figure. Her sapphire-like eyes lost their clear color. Deep within her pupils was a restless gloom.
Adele walked further and further away, every step treading on Lina’s most sensitive nerves. She clenched her jaw again. The calmness on her face was torn apart, inch by inch, by the violent heaving of her chest.
“Why are you running…”
Lina silently chewed on these three words, her fingertips unconsciously picking at the window frame—
Snap!
The old wooden strip suddenly broke. A tiny splinter pierced Lina’s fingertip. The fingers are connected to the heart. The sharp pain shot straight to her scalp in an instant.
But Lina’s breathing strangely slowed down. She once again found a morbid calm in the pain.
Adele was about to disappear around the corner of the courtyard wall. Lina pressed down on the splinter in her fingertip. The sound of flesh being slowly torn seemed to linger in her ears.
She was punishing her disobedient self.
If it was a sin to desecrate her teacher, she was willing to go to a church to confess. But, she had already fallen in love. What could she do?
She had already pleasured herself thinking of her teacher.
She had already felt the pleasure. Could she take it back?
There was really no other way.
Cold raindrops fell on Lina’s face. In the time it took for her to raise her hand, Adele had completely disappeared.
“What do I do…”
Lina’s voice was as light as a sigh, yet it was soaked with a possessiveness that made one’s spine tingle.
She didn’t understand why Adele was so avoidant of her affection.
Was it because she was disgusted with her past?
Was it because of her status as a teacher?
Lina pulled out the splinter. A drop of blood fell from her fingertip, staining the moss on the windowsill red. The damp wind could blow away the faint smell of blood, but it couldn’t blow away those dark thoughts.
The thought that Adele might run away like that and disappear forever made Lina extremely anxious.
No!
I can’t let her run!
How can I keep her?
There was a basement in the manor. The quartz walls were very thick, enough to block out all cries for help…
Adele’s restrained expression appeared in Lina’s mind again.
Even if I hurt Teacher, she would still indulge me, right…
Lina caressed the windowsill. Her injured fingertip traced the fine grain of the wood back and forth, as if the burning pad of her finger were her teacher’s face.
A crimson flush.
The person who had tasted the flavor was completely enlightened. Lina took a deep breath. That nameless fire started to burn again, burning her to the point of wanting to resort to any means necessary.
Lock her up!
Just lock her up in that basement, so she can only stay by my side, and can’t go anywhere!
…
No.
I can’t repay kindness with malice.
To strip her teacher of her freedom, to harm her teacher’s body—she couldn’t do it. That would be too much of a bastard.
Rainwater trickled down the stained glass. Adele’s figure had completely disappeared. Only the vast night remained in the empty manor.
The gloom in Lina’s pupils was so thick it could barely be stirred. She squeezed the wound on her fingertip, and then—
Squeezed harder.
More blood flowed out.
Squeezed harder again.
The pale pad of her finger was completely covered in scarlet blood.
She didn’t want to hurt Adele, but she wanted to keep her. This was the only way.
“Teacher, I’m hurt again…” Lina’s face turned pale in the pain. She stood with her back to the firelight, her entire being like a lifeless porcelain doll, exquisite and hollow, broken and evil.
“I’m hurt again. You’ll feel sorry for me, won’t you?”
*
