Chapter 44: Sulking
Dry wood crackled in the fireplace. Adele stood in the dim light, took a deep breath, and said, “I don’t. From beginning to end, the only person I’ve liked is you. It’s precisely because I like you that I don’t want to watch you go down a wicked path.”
Lina threw her cloak on the sofa and curled up in it. She crossed her arms, completely entering a defensive state.
Adele said again, “Was it right for you to involve that child? If you were really so open and honest, why did you hide it from me?”
Lina was exasperated and said, “I’ve already said, her origins are unknown. Not throwing her out was already the most I could do! Besides you, I don’t trust anyone. I don’t have the time or the interest to find out if she’s a good person or a bad person! If you want to live in my house, you have to listen to me!”
The last sentence was too assertive. Adele’s eyes trembled. At this moment, she felt that Lina had become so unfamiliar.
“What’s more, I didn’t force her. I asked for her opinion, and she agreed. What did I do wrong?” Lina retorted.
“She doesn’t know any better. Don’t you know any better either? The incitement of that Sacred Cult stuff is too strong. How do you know she won’t be affected?” Adele controlled her emotions. “I only see a child being used as a tool by you!”
“…” Lina didn’t respond.
Adele said again, “What if she’s left with psychological trauma because of this? What if she becomes obsessed with the Sacred Cult because of this? Can you be responsible for her whole life? Let me ask you again, you have to do things cleanly, right? When your plan is over, what are you going to do with her? Let her live? What if she tells the truth? Kill her? But what did she do wrong?”
Lina gritted her teeth and remained silent.
“You haven’t thought about it. Your mind is only filled with success. You’re desperate to prove your ability to Huaguang! You’re desperate to climb up! You…”
“Right!” Lina, who had been repressed to the extreme, roared, “You’re right! I just want to climb up! I’ve had enough of the old days! I just have to close my eyes, and I can hear their ridicule and insults! I don’t know when the whips and fists will fall on my body again! I’m really scared! I just want power. I want everyone to not dare to bully me anymore!”
The firelight illuminated the hatred churning in her eyes. “You don’t understand how much pain I’m in! You don’t understand at all!”
“I’m not belittling your pain! I’m really just worried about you! You can’t become a puppet of power! You know that! A person can’t just care about success and not about the means! Fine, I’ll assume you didn’t cross the line today. But what about next time? What will it be next time?”
Adele’s eyes were filled with pain.
“Framing? Arson? Or something even more unspeakable? Compromising step by step, numbing yourself time and time again that this is ‘necessary,’ that it’s just a means to climb up! And then completely becoming a cold and ruthless political machine, becoming completely unrecognizable! Is this what you want!”
“Yes! This is what I want!” Lina retorted directly. “I wish I had no feelings! Then I wouldn’t feel pain anymore! I want to die! You know that! I don’t even care about my own life! I don’t care about their lives! Just let them all die!”
Her roar echoed in the main hall, then fell into a deeper silence.
Adele looked at her, at this little rabbit she had poured countless efforts into caring for, and suddenly felt like a failure.
She hadn’t raised her well at all.
Not at all!
Adele’s shoulders slumped. All her anger seemed to be drained in an instant, leaving only an endless fatigue.
She stood up, her voice becoming very light. “If I didn’t care about you, if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be standing here saying these things today. I wouldn’t care what kind of ghost you become.”
After speaking, she turned and left.
The heavy footsteps disappeared into the shadows of the corridor. The main hall quickly fell silent. In the darkness, only a repressed, choked sob remained.
…
Time in the manor suddenly became very long.
Ever since the argument that night, the two of them had been in a cold war. Whenever they were in the same room, the air would instantly freeze.
Lina finally came home for dinner after five days. She walked into the dining room and, with one glance, saw Adele sitting at the long table.
Her footsteps paused. She walked straight to the farthest diagonal corner, pulled out a chair with a “clang,” deliberately making a harsh scraping sound.
No one spoke.
Only the sound of cutlery clashing.
Dilys, holding a bowl of soup, crept to Lina’s side.
The aroma of minnow and vegetable chowder lingered at the tip of her nose. The hand holding the spoon paused.
A familiar taste.
It was self-evident who had made it.
This soup took a long time to make. To be able to drink it at noon could only mean that the person who made the soup had gotten up early to prepare it.
Lina glanced at Dilys.
Dilys winked frantically in Adele’s direction.
That’s right! The lady made it! Make up! Miss!
Lina’s throat moved. Her gaze passed through the dining table and looked straight at the person opposite her.
Adele was cutting a piece of beef with her head down, completely ignoring her burning gaze.
Lina looked for a few seconds, let out a light “hmpf,” and took two fierce sips of the soup with her spoon.
It’s not good.
So bitter.
…
In the evening, just as Adele reached her room door, she found a ruby on the carpet.
She bent down to pick it up. It was heavy, and the quality was top-notch. Even in the dim light of the corridor, the gem still had a dazzling fire, so pure there wasn’t a single flaw.
It was priceless.
No.
It was probably worth a city.
Adele caressed the gem.
It was self-evident who had placed it.
Her face showed no expression. She looked at it for two moments, then went in and put it down.
Adele’s heart was heavy. She lay on the bed, on Lina’s side.
The scent of the lop-eared rabbit had disappeared, but her red-rimmed eyes kept flashing before her.
Lina… how did she become like this?
To win the princess’s favor, she could really be so ruthless as to involve a child in her schemes. When that child had just entered the door, her face was pale, tired and scared. She was clearly tired and scared…
Power is charming, and it also makes people lose themselves. How many people have plunged into it and lost control of themselves?
Their hearts turned cold, and their hands also became dirty.
The one in the game is lost, but the bystander is clear. Adele had already sensed Lina’s intoxication. She wanted to pull her back.
She was afraid that her bright and lively lover would eventually become an empty shell with only schemes.
She was really so scared.
Adele looked at the ruby on the table. After a long moment, another thought arose in her heart.
But…
Is Lina really such a cold-hearted person?
She finally began to carefully recall Lina’s words. The rabbit ball’s aggrieved and resentful eyes did not seem to be an act.
Could it be… that something had gone wrong?
It was chaotic then. She had only seen the girl’s pale face and had been prejudiced, assuming Lina’s ruthlessness, but had ignored her explanation…
That girl was the key.
Adele shot up and rushed to the girl’s room.
She had to ask clearly!
…
A small lamp was lit in the study.
Lina was curled up on the bed. Even though she was covered with three layers of quilts, she still felt cold all over.
These five days had been like years.
She was sulking, not hugging Adele, and not even talking to her.
Every day, she only allowed herself to look at Adele three times.
Only three times.
But after just five days of sulking, she couldn’t take it anymore.
She couldn’t focus on her books. The words on the pages would jump around. She couldn’t eat in peace either. Her stomach had been hurting.
Once she was idle, she became dazed. Besides crying, she couldn’t do anything.
She could only work desperately, until she was covered in cold sweat, so scared that Huaguang thought she was going to die and forcibly sent her back to the manor.
The argument that night lingered in her mind. She knew what Adele was afraid of.
No one wants to see their lover fall into ruin.
She could understand.
But she was just sulking in her heart. She felt that Adele didn’t understand her pain. They were the closest people, how could she not understand her?!
But then she remembered that before this argument, she had never shown her dark side. Adele was not a mind reader in her stomach. It was impossible for her to completely guess her thoughts.
In the end, the sulking also dissipated.
Lina was only left with regret.
She had been too reckless with her words.
She shouldn’t have voiced those dark and violent thoughts!
Would Adele hate her?
Perhaps Adele would find her disgusting.
Lina didn’t dare to speculate like this.
But this thought grew clearer by the day. Whenever she thought of it, she would fall into a boundless fear.
Adele would leave her.
She definitely would.
Lina clutched her stomach. It was cramping again.
She was so scared.
Without that gorgeous palace attire, without the halo of the royal religious academy, she was still that battered rabbit.
It was as if nothing had changed.
She was even sicker.
Lina hugged herself, her tears suddenly out of control.
How ridiculous.
She had always been praying to be loved.
In the past, it was to pray to Herte. Later, it was to pray to Adele.
She had always been afraid of being abandoned.
Always.
At this moment, Lina suddenly felt very annoyed.
Love, love, love, so annoying!
The second before, she told herself—
Never love again!
The next second, she caught sight of the new pajamas Adele had made for her.
Her heart ached.
She needed love…
She really did.
Lina looked at the ceiling. Tears blurred her vision. What appeared before her were all the beautiful times the two of them had spent together.
Adele had done nothing wrong.
It was her own fault. She should have hidden those dark thoughts. She should have been more obedient, should have…
But, wasn’t her true self worthy of being loved?
Lina’s mind was in a mess.
Grievance, helplessness, and anger intertwined.
She still didn’t understand why the girl’s face had become so terrible when she entered the door…
She really didn’t want to bully that child! She had been taking care of her the whole way! How did it become, in her teacher’s eyes, that she was a cold-blooded person who would resort to any means to achieve her goal?
“If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t care about you!”
Adele’s departing figure once again pierced Lina.
She didn’t want to struggle anymore, didn’t want to sulk anymore.
Just assume it was all her own fault.
She couldn’t lose her teacher, absolutely not!
She had to apologize to Adele, and also tell her that she was not a cold-hearted villain!
Lina shot up. She thought:
With just her own words, Adele, who was in a fit of anger, would definitely not believe her. The only witness was that girl. If she pulled her to explain to Adele, to explain that she really didn’t deliberately torture her, they should be able to make up…
Lina practically fell out of bed. She randomly pulled on a piece of clothing and rushed out of the study.
It was snowing heavily outside. The corridor was dark and long. A cold draft came from all directions, but she couldn’t feel it. She only had one thought in her mind: she had to make up with her teacher immediately!
Immediately!
In her eagerness, Lina still remembered to knock, not to barge in.
“Come in.”
The girl’s voice came from inside.
Lina pushed the door open and said, “You, with me…”
She stopped halfway through her sentence, because the girl was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, a smile that didn’t match her age on her lips, her eyes filled with a sinister evil.
“You?” Lina vaguely felt that this smile was a little familiar.
The room was dimly lit. The girl stared at her and giggled. “Sister, you want me to tell your master that you didn’t abuse me, right?”
Lina couldn’t help but take half a step back.
She was just a child. How could she have guessed her thoughts?
“Which face do you want me to use to explain, sister?”
The moment the girl finished speaking, the rosy glow on her face instantly faded, turning pale in the blink of an eye. Even her eyes became unfocused.
Just looking at her gave one a feeling of exhaustion.
The girl covered her mouth and coughed lightly. She asked in a weak voice, “Sister, do you like this face?”
Lina had a sudden realization. “You’re playing me! I clearly gave you good food and drink! And you still deliberately put on this miserable appearance in front of her! Making it look like I abused you!”
The girl tilted her head, trying hard to imitate helplessness and fear. “Sister, you’re so fierce… hahaha! She must think you abused me, right?”
She paused, the weak expression on her face abruptly retracting, replaced by an extremely malicious smile.
At the same time, the window in the room slammed shut without any wind.
“Lina, I told you, I’m going to mess up your lives! No one will have it easy!”
!
It’s the imposter!
The girl slowly stood up. The features on her face gradually became exactly the same as Adele’s.
“That’s right, it’s me…”
“Lina… I’ve come for you…”
“Lina… I’m going to destroy you… destroy you both…”
Lina only felt her blood run cold. Before she could react, the “girl” in front of her suddenly fell to the ground and shouted, “Don’t kill me! Sister! Please! Don’t kill me! I was wrong!”
Just then, the door was thrown open, and Adele burst in.
“Sister! I’ll definitely explain it as you said! Don’t kill me—”
Just as Lina was about to speak, she suddenly felt a weight in her palm. She looked down.
And found that a knife had inexplicably appeared in her hand!
/
“I can’t show my dark side to my closest person. I don’t want Adele to see my schemes and ruthlessness. I’m afraid she’ll be disgusted with me, hate me. People like flowers and sunshine. No one would favor a dark cloud.”
“I know she feels sorry for me, is afraid that I’ll go down a wicked path. But the more she cherishes me, the more terrified I feel. I’m afraid that one day she won’t love me anymore, that one day she’ll leave me. I have to keep her!”
“How can I keep her? By maintaining our relationship with feelings? That’s too pale. I can’t bear the result of losing her, so I have to use the safest method! I have to objectively imprison her footsteps! Make her belong only to me! In the end, I still need money, need power!”
“No one can stop me! I can sacrifice anything! I’m not turning back!”
“I can compromise to keep her. I can give in. I can be any appearance she likes. Whatever clothes she wants me to wear, I’ll wear. If she doesn’t want me to wear them, then I won’t. Whatever she wants to do to me, she can do. She can mess with me however she wants. I won’t refuse…”
“But all of this is on the premise that she stays by my side obediently. If she has the thought of leaving…”
