Chapter 122: Do You Disdain Me?

Listening to her happy dilemma, Xia Siyuan let out a sigh. “You’re just in the midst of blessings without realizing it. Be happy about it. Morning sickness only lasts that short while—once you get through it, you’re golden. Yunli Sis hasn’t even complained about how tough it is for her. I’m Team Yunli Sis here; your mindset is downright dangerous.”

How enviable Ji Zhenshi’s life was. Li Yunli could handle both high society and the kitchen with grace.

“Yes, my mistake. This little hardship is nothing. Fine, I’m done with you. Enjoy your drink. I’m off to earn milk powder money.” Ji Zhenshi glanced at the time. She was almost late.

Li Yunli hadn’t wanted her to see her off in the first place, but Ji Zhenshi could never quite shake her worry and always insisted.

Li Yunli headed to the bathroom, and Ji Zhenshi circled around to block her path, suddenly wrapping her arms around her from behind. “Sis, I’m heading out. Call me if anything comes up.”

Li Yunli had just finished throwing up. One whiff of Ji Zhenshi’s scent, and nausea hit her again. She pushed at Ji Zhenshi’s shoulder, wriggling free from the embrace before lunging toward the sink to vomit once more.

Ji Zhenshi’s heart ached terribly. She stretched out a hand to rub Li Yunli’s back, gathering her hair out of the way, her expression complicated.

Countless times, she regretted agreeing to Li Yunli’s idea of trying for a baby via IVF.

Watching Li Yunli suffer like this—even knowing it was just a normal pregnancy symptom—still left her feeling suffocated.

More than once, the words had nearly tumbled out: she didn’t want the child anymore.

Li Yunli had already endured so much hardship, and yet the little one wouldn’t give her a break, constantly tormenting her.

“It’s fine. Hurry up and go—you don’t want to miss your flight.” Li Yunli wiped the corner of her mouth, her voice weak and faint as she leaned against the wall. She hated to see Ji Zhenshi leave, but she didn’t voice it.

Suppressing the churning in her stomach, Li Yunli leaned in for a gentle kiss on Ji Zhenshi’s lips.

Her eyes glistened with moisture, utterly pitiable. “I’m okay. I’ve gotten used to it. Be good and head to work. Safe travels—call me when you land.”

She knew Ji Zhenshi was in a foul mood.

It was better this way, parting for work. Otherwise, if they stayed together, Li Yunli wouldn’t be able to stand Ji Zhenshi’s scent, and it would only make Ji Zhenshi anxious and frustrated.

Ji Zhenshi pressed her lips together, her face darkening with displeasure.

She truly regretted it now, putting Li Yunli through this suffering.

After stewing in silence for ages, she finally managed, “Go home and rest. The shop can run fine without you there. You need the break right now.”

“Okay. I’ll head back once I’m tired.” Li Yunli’s cheeks flushed as she covered her nose.

Ji Zhenshi froze in place. After a long moment of silence, she finally turned and walked away.

Fine. It was what Li Yunli wanted. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything that might hurt her.

But that seed of doubt buried in Ji Zhenshi’s heart only grew deeper. Her biggest fear was that once the child arrived, Li Yunli would pour her whole heart and soul into the baby. Would their own bond fade away as a result?

So many relationships faded after kids came along, eventually falling apart altogether.

…

Ji Zhenshi pushed open the front door. She hadn’t brought an umbrella, and on her way back from the studio meeting, she’d gotten completely soaked by the downpour.

Water dripped from her sodden feet, leaving her looking utterly bedraggled.

Li Yunli, lounging on the sofa, turned at the sound, surprise flickering across her face that Ji Zhenshi was back already. “Why are you home so soon? You were supposed to call when you wrapped up so I could meet you at the neighborhood gate.”

Taxis couldn’t reach their building in the neighborhood, so Ji Zhenshi always walked in from the entrance.

“I called—you didn’t pick up. It’s fine. Better for you to stay home in this rain.” Ji Zhenshi glanced at the phone beside Li Yunli, noting the fetal heart monitor strapped to her belly. She said nothing more and headed straight to the bathroom to shower and change.

With Li Yunli now seven months pregnant, Ji Zhenshi didn’t want her moving around unnecessarily.

Sensing the unusual chill in her demeanor, Li Yunli paused for a beat before getting up to brew some ginger tea.

“Xiao Zhen, have you eaten dinner?”

“Yes.”

Ji Zhenshi emerged without drying her hair, intending to blow-dry it in the second bedroom so as not to disturb Li Yunli.

“Drink some ginger tea.” Li Yunli stepped in front of her, offering the steaming mug.

Ji Zhenshi accepted it. “Thanks.”

That tone told Li Yunli she was genuinely upset. “I didn’t hear the phone ring earlier.”

Ji Zhenshi downed the tea in a few gulps and shook her head. “It’s nothing. See? I’m home now. Just stay put with the baby. It’s late—go rest. I’ll take the second bedroom. I don’t want to catch a chill and pass it on to you.”

With that, she pushed open the bedroom door. Glancing back, she forced a smile at Li Yunli.

It wasn’t the first time. Li Yunli always seemed more focused on the baby than on her.

Even before the birth, Li Yunli had poured all her energy into the child. She rarely asked after Ji Zhenshi if she stayed out late. Aside from the baby, they barely had any other topics between them.

Ji Zhenshi hated the feeling. And with the early months of vomiting making it impossible for Li Yunli to tolerate her scent, it had been ages since they’d shared a proper embrace. Their connection felt so much fainter now.

She’d done her duty for the child, handling everything required. But whenever Li Yunli grew too absorbed in the pregnancy to pay her any mind, it left Ji Zhenshi aching.

As the bedroom door clicked shut, Li Yunli’s expression grew serious. After a moment’s thought, she pushed open the door to the second bedroom. “Sleep in the master with me. I want you there.”

Ji Zhenshi was on the phone. Hearing her, she didn’t reply, just pointed at the bed to indicate she was staying put for the night.

She pulled back the covers and focused intently on the voice coming through the receiver.

Li Yunli watched her for several moments before finally slipping under the covers beside her. Leaning close, her voice came out soft and gentle. “Xiao Zhen, are you mad at me?”

Ji Zhenshi hung up and lowered her gaze, falling silent for a beat. “No. Let’s sleep.”

Ji Zhenshi wanted to drift off, but Li Yunli looped an arm around her neck and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I don’t want you carrying this mood into the night. If you’re unhappy, let me apologize. Xiao Zhen, I really didn’t hear the ring. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to leave you hanging.”

“I hate seeing you soaked like that. I’m worried about you being upset, too.” Cupping Ji Zhenshi’s face, Li Yunli coaxed her tenderly.

Seeing Li Yunli like this melted Ji Zhenshi’s resolve in an instant. Still, she didn’t know where to begin and held back the truth. “I’m not upset. Your safety comes first right now. Don’t overthink it.”

Li Yunli saw right through the conflict. Pillowing her head on Ji Zhenshi’s arm, she toyed with her earlobe and murmured softly, “You’re always first in my heart, too. Right, Xiao Zhen? Sis loves you so much—how could I deliberately skip picking you up and let you get drenched?”

“Oh.”

“You haven’t wanted to chat with me lately. You come home and just want to crash. I’m worried. If something’s bothering you, can you tell me?” Ji Zhenshi’s responses felt cool and perfunctory, so Li Yunli nuzzled her chin with her nose, beautiful and docile like a little fox.

Ji Zhenshi hesitated, then tugged the covers higher. “Nothing’s wrong. Teacher Tang’s prepping a solo recital, and I’m the guest performer. I’ve been practicing piano nonstop. I’m tired—let’s sleep.”

She rushed through the explanation of her work, not wanting to elaborate and put Li Yunli in a tough spot. Pregnancy already made her emotions unstable; she overthought everything.

Li Yunli leaned in for a kiss, but Ji Zhenshi pulled back, draping most of the covers over her before lying stiffly straight.

The kiss landed on empty air, leaving Li Yunli feeling hollow inside.

Ji Zhenshi was just afraid she’d roll over and crush her in her sleep.

But to Li Yunli, it felt like rejection—like a wall between them. Staring at Ji Zhenshi’s back, she knew it was all excuses.

She wasn’t asleep. Her breathing was far too uneven.

Li Yunli’s face fell as she reflected on Ji Zhenshi’s recent behavior. She still cared, sure, but the intimacy they shared before the pregnancy was gone.

Pregnancy hormones already had her moods all over the place, and with Ji Zhenshi acting distant, it was easy for doubts to creep in.

Was Ji Zhenshi not mad because she simply didn’t care whether Li Yunli picked her up or not?

Her thoughts spiraled into complexity, and an inexplicable sense of grievance washed over her.

Her nose stung. In the blink of an eye, her eyes brimmed with red. Her vision blurred as she stared at Ji Zhenshi’s back.

She reached out, trying to grab Ji Zhenshi’s phone to check her recent chats. But the moment her hand extended, Ji Zhenshi’s eyes snapped open. She grabbed Li Yunli’s wrist, looking puzzled. “What is it? Thirsty?”

Li Yunli pressed her lips together and blurted without thinking, “I want to see your phone. Why do you chat endlessly with them, but when you’re home, you act like there’s nothing to tell me? What does that mean? My body’s changing with the pregnancy, so you disdain me now?”

Her voice quivered with hurt, though it was still accusatory.

Even as the words left her mouth, Li Yunli was shocked at herself—like some insecure mess fretting over what Ji Zhenshi might be up to outside.

She regretted it instantly. She’d mentally prepared for pregnancy and fully trusted Ji Zhenshi’s love.

Yet here she was at this stage, doubting anyway. Her emotions felt utterly beyond her control.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. It wasn’t the pregnancy she’d imagined. All these uncontrollable factors made her feel like she’d changed somehow.

The sudden accusation stunned Ji Zhenshi for a moment. “What?”

“You disdain me.” Li Yunli repeated it, word by word.

The sheer absurdity of it nearly made Ji Zhenshi laugh, even in this heavy atmosphere.

She let out a disbelieving huff and unlocked her phone, placing it in Li Yunli’s palm. “Go ahead and check.”

Li Yunli had already forgotten about the phone. She clutched at Ji Zhenshi’s clothes, eyes red as she stared her down. “You disdain me, don’t you? I couldn’t stand you near me during the vomiting phase, and now my figure’s gone to hell—no more intimacy. Is it really that much of a chore for you?”

The massive accusation landed squarely on Ji Zhenshi, who already felt wronged. Her eyes widened in disbelief. She had a thousand defenses and nowhere to put them. “A chore? Wasn’t it you who got so fixated on the baby that you tuned me out? You never pick up my calls, staying up late scribbling notes from parenting books. You’re the one with no time to chat!”

Li Yunli didn’t know why she felt so aggrieved. Her lashes trembled as Ji Zhenshi raised her voice. Her grip tightened on Ji Zhenshi’s clothes, a lump forming in her throat. “Are the sisters outside gentler than me? Prettier? Do they sweet-talk you? Xiao Zhen, you’ve gone bad.”

With that, Li Yunli threw off the covers and stormed out, heading back to the master bedroom to sleep alone.

Ji Zhenshi sat there dumbfounded. She’d just been confirming repertoire choices—purely work stuff. How had it twisted into this in Li Yunli’s eyes?

And was Li Yunli being a little unreasonable?

Refusing to hear her out, just spouting her piece and leaving?

Ji Zhenshi’s head throbbed. In the end, she threw back the covers and followed to the master bedroom.

Li Yunli had curled into a ball on one side. Her soft sobs cut through the quiet, jarring in the stillness. She’d tried crying on the sly, humbling herself to coax, but it had only fueled her anger more. Her emotions were spiraling out of control.

She felt an inexplicable urge to rage, twisting every little clue into something sinister.

Her imagination had run wild lately, conjuring endless scenarios.

Ji Zhenshi sighed and slipped under the covers. “Sister A-Yun, how could any outside sister compare to you? You know how gentle you are—no one’s topping that… Wait, what do outside sisters even have to do with me? Don’t cry. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. It was thoughtless of me. Let me stay and sleep with you, okay?”

Reaching around from behind, she saw Li Yunli biting her lip through silent tears, curled up tight like she had no sense of security.

A pang shot through Ji Zhenshi’s heart. She fumbled to soothe her.

Pressing a kiss to Li Yunli’s earlobe, Ji Zhenshi whispered close. “How could I ever disdain you? Pregnancy weight is totally normal. But I’m not some fickle type, am I? Besides, you’ll bounce back quick after the birth. It’s not disdain—I’m scared I’ll roll over and hurt you in my sleep. You’ve suffered so much to get this far. I don’t want you hurting more.”

Li Yunli stayed quiet but nestled securely in her arms.

That familiar breath filled her with safety. Hearing Ji Zhenshi yield like this dissolved every last bit of her irritation. Turning to look, she wondered what she’d even been mad about.

“Talk to me? Sis, pay attention to me, hm?” Ji Zhenshi blew softly into her ear, teasing.

Li Yunli shrank back with a shiver before finally turning. Her eyes brimmed with grievance, heartbreaking to witness.

She said, “Xiao Zhen, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t control my emotions at all. The books say it’s the hormones. When you snap at me, it crushes me. I hate this polite distance between us. I don’t know what I did wrong. Xiao Zhen, don’t treat me like this.”

“Okay, that was on me. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong—I’m just too greedy, too possessive. That’s my flaw. There’s no room in my heart for anyone but you, so no matter how you change, I’ll only ever love you. It’s Li Yunli I love, not some pretty figure or face. Don’t worry.” Ji Zhenshi rubbed her back, soothing her relentlessly.

Li Yunli looked up, her voice soft. “Then what’s been up with you lately? Why aren’t you clinging to me anymore? I love you so much, but when you came home, you wouldn’t even hug me. We used to always. Xiao Zhen, you’ve gone bad.”

Truth be told, Li Yunli was easy to soothe. Even with hormones throwing her off, she never picked real fights with Ji Zhenshi. A little coaxing worked wonders; she preferred handling her dark moods alone.

Ji Zhenshi was at a loss for words. To avoid digging the misunderstanding deeper, she admitted, “I want to hold you too. But ever since the pregnancy, you haven’t seemed into intimacy anymore… What I really wanted to say is…”

“What?”

“Sister A-Yun, can you not make the baby your whole world from now on? I’m really scared. We should be the most in-love couple on earth. I do love the child, but I love you more. Right now, all your energy goes to her—like she’s the only thing that exists.”

Gathering her courage, Ji Zhenshi laid it all out.

Comprehension dawned on Li Yunli. “What I feel for the baby is familial love, all stemming from you. What we have is romantic love—pure and forever. Only we’ll always be together. The child is our responsibility, our family. We agreed on this: raising her in a home full of love.”

Ji Zhenshi nodded and placed a hand on Li Yunli’s belly.

Truth was, she adored the child too. More than once, when Li Yunli slept, her goodnight kisses landed not just on Li Yunli’s forehead but on her belly as well.

“Yeah, just a little unhappy. A bit of that letdown feeling.”

Li Yunli cupped Ji Zhenshi’s face. “No more bottling it up from now on. If you feel neglected, tell me. I’ve been so sleepy lately, energy’s limited, and with two shops to manage, I haven’t been able to focus on you. Forgive me?”