Chapter 45: No Wife Anymore

Ji Zhenshi and Li Yunli faced only two possible outcomes: maintaining a respectful distance and going their separate ways in peace, or boldly falling in love. Ji Zhenshi stubbornly clung to the latter.

That was why she indulged her drunken self one final time, using this desperate method to force Li Yunli’s hand.

Li Yunli, I’m terrible, aren’t I? But I really do love you.

More than you realize. So much more.

Tears suddenly spilled down her cheeks, and Li Yunli’s resolve crumbled into utter softness toward her.

She couldn’t refuse—especially not when Ji Zhenshi declared her willingness to shoulder everything alone, to do anything at all.

Li Yunli had no defenses against such sincerity. Her heart couldn’t help but stir, impossible to turn away.

With gentle hands, she wiped the tears from Ji Zhenshi’s eyes. “Why do you cry so much?”

One sip of alcohol, and she transformed into a little crybaby, her tears endless.

Moved by Ji Zhenshi’s unwavering determination in that moment, Li Yunli could no longer bear to harden her heart against her. Silently, she consented to the request.

Xiao Zhen, you said you’d crawl to the finish line if you had to. Don’t lie to me.

Li Yunli remained silent, so Ji Zhenshi assumed refusal and burst into audible sobs. “I don’t even have a wife anymore—can’t I at least cry?”

“……”

Li Yunli couldn’t help but laugh through her exasperation, a smile breaking through despite herself.

How did “wife” slip off her tongue so effortlessly?

Blushing, Li Yunli reached to pull Ji Zhenshi close, ready to explain. But Ji Zhenshi shoved her hand away, staggered back several steps, and curled into the bathtub—the one she’d originally retreated to for calm—sinking in fully clothed.

“Xiao Zhen!” Li Yunli’s heart lurched. She rushed over to haul her out.

The water hovered near body temperature, but in this weather, it felt freezing cold. No wonder Ji Zhenshi had come down with a fever from soaking in it so long.

Tormenting herself like this?

“Get out. You’ve already got a fever—if you stay in there longer, you’ll get really sick.”

A flicker of annoyance crept into Li Yunli’s voice. Watching Ji Zhenshi abuse her own body like this made her furious.

Reckless nonsense with her health?

Ji Zhenshi kept her head down, staring at the water’s surface. She ignored Li Yunli entirely, along with her sign language. After a few dazed seconds, she tried to slide deeper without a word.

Her wife was gone. She wanted to die.

Despair crashed over Ji Zhenshi like a wave, her mind consumed by visions of dying alone, unloved.

Everyone else had a wife to cherish them, but she’d be utterly alone—an isolated, unwanted little cabbage with no one to love or want her.

Tears poured from her eyes in heavy splatters. She seemed unable to accept a future of eternal solitude. “I’m just some unwanted little cabbage. I have no wife—what am I supposed to do?”

“You!” Ignoring her own clothes soaking through, Li Yunli lunged forward and yanked her upright.

This girl was far too much trouble.

Unwanted little cabbage? Why did the idea suddenly strike her as so absurdly funny?

During those weeks apart after the slap—how many times had Ji Zhenshi tortured herself like this?

In the struggle, the last two buttons on Ji Zhenshi’s shirt tore free. A flash of black crossed her chest, catching Li Yunli’s eye.

Once she’d secured Ji Zhenshi’s waist to stop her sinking farther, Li Yunli squatted by the tub’s edge. Her gaze settled on the left side of that chest: a tattoo.

Xiao Zhen had never had a tattoo before.

Had she gotten it recently?

Curiosity guided Li Yunli’s fingertip as she gently tugged aside the bra strap, revealing the full design: a half-moon in reddish filigree, cradling the shape of a lily flower at its center. A stunning pattern, positioned perfectly over her heart. Li Yunli could feel every throb beneath it.

Lost in the sight, Li Yunli barely registered Ji Zhenshi’s eyes snapping open. In an instant, Ji Zhenshi seized her wrist against that chest, gripping it vise-tight to prevent escape. Her breath came warm and fragrant. “Sister A-Yun, you’re my one and only moon. I want you shining forever in the sky above every beat of my heart—radiant as a painted moon, eternally bright.”

Those weren’t mere words meant to sway Li Yunli. Ji Zhenshi had etched her right there on her skin, a permanent overseer of the heartbeats fueled by her love—right up to her final breath.

Ji Zhenshi was a romantic madwoman.

“Xiao Zhen, get up first…” Li Yunli’s signing came out strained and awkward.

“I’ll kiss you just one last time. Please don’t hit me, okay?” Ji Zhenshi refused to release her hand, blocking the signs and earnestly seeking permission—leaving no room for outright refusal.

Whether from drunken haze or pure intent, Li Yunli couldn’t tell.

She knew fear of another slap lingered, and heartache made refusal impossible. Her free hand brushed softly over Ji Zhenshi’s cheek as she mouthed the word: “Okay.”

But was this truly the end? Don’t regret it later, Ji Zhenshi.

Ji Zhenshi scarcely registered the agreement, driven by reckless abandon and readiness for punishment. She hooked Li Yunli’s nape and yanked her down, claiming those flushed lips in a fierce kiss.

The water chilled her skin, but Ji Zhenshi’s heart blazed.

Intimate murmurs and touches enveloped them both. For the first time in earnest, Ji Zhenshi kissed Li Yunli—her tongue boldly invading uninvited, greedily savoring every sweetness.

Her shirt hung half-open, and she had no idea how irresistibly alluring she appeared from Li Yunli’s vantage, impossible to look away from.

The instant their lips met, a scalding tear traced from the corner of Ji Zhenshi’s eye. It slid down her cheek and, in her daze, seemed to ripple the water’s surface when it fell.

Relief washed over her. Ji Zhenshi didn’t want to coerce Li Yunli anymore.

If true love proved impossible, she’d keep her distance, never becoming a burden in her life.

She would let go—because she loved her even more than love itself.

They parted with lingering reluctance, a glistening strand of saliva bridging their lips. The drunken Ji Zhenshi lifted her gaze in sultry allure and whispered, “Sorry. I must have been such a bother to you.”

Her voice was faint, nearly lost amid the ragged breaths tickling Li Yunli’s ear.

“Hm?” Their cheeks brushed as Li Yunli pried Ji Zhenshi’s fingers loose, allowing a breath of air between them.

Ji Zhenshi smiled in deep satisfaction, unable to resist one last chaste peck at the corner of Li Yunli’s mouth before releasing her fully.

“Xiao Zhen, you’re really good at kissing,” Li Yunli said, her face burning with shyness as she regarded Ji Zhenshi—now slumped over the tub’s edge like a pitiful little dog.

Those eyes fixed on her without blinking, sending her heart into a frenzy.

Ji Zhenshi had taken full control moments ago, seizing her breath with unrelenting force—as if determined to meld them into one, leaving no space for protest.

She wondered if Ji Zhenshi had even seen the signs. Ji Zhenshi’s lashes fluttered, then curved into a smile. “I’m a natural. A genius.”

“……”

Li Yunli’s cheeks flamed hotter as she dragged Ji Zhenshi out of the tub.

“Xiao Zhen, just take off your clothes and wash up properly.”

Ji Zhenshi’s entire weight slumped onto her. Li Yunli struggled to hold her steady, urging her to undress and bathe on her own.

Both of them were drenched now, and the feverish heat radiating from Ji Zhenshi’s body—even through the fabric—stirred an unwelcome tension. Li Yunli forced her composure.

Thank goodness Xia Siyuan had called her over. Ji Zhenshi never could have managed alone.

“Okay, clothes off.” Head spinning and limbs heavy, Ji Zhenshi’s hand landed clumsily on Li Yunli’s chest.

“Your own clothes.” Li Yunli snatched her wrist.

Naughty girl—what on earth filled that drunken head?

After an eternity of wrangling, Ji Zhenshi finally bathed. But she flat-out refused to dress, declaring righteously, “I sleep naked when I’m alone. No girlfriend, after all.”

Did Ji Zhenshi have a habit of sleeping nude?

Li Yunli recalled the previous time she’d gotten drunk—refusing pajamas then, too.

Such a terrible habit.

Unable to sway her, Li Yunli wrapped her in a bath towel and, with great effort, maneuvered her to the bed.

“Sister A-Yun, don’t go. Please don’t.” Ji Zhenshi lunged, snaring her arm. They tumbled onto the mattress together, Ji Zhenshi clinging like an octopus—arms locked with taut muscle lines, expending every ounce of strength.

Feverish, dizzy, and utterly intoxicated, Ji Zhenshi unleashed her raw instincts, refusing to let Li Yunli budge an inch.

Li Yunli’s clothes still clung wet to her skin, pinned firmly at the chest by this near-naked whirlwind. She sensed what was coming.

“Mmph!” Li Yunli clapped a hand over her mouth in startled exclamation.

Ji Zhenshi had bitten her again!

Propping herself up through the sting, she peered at the head buried against her chest. The same spot—why was Ji Zhenshi so fixated there?

“Should I hide it better? Tell you when I’m all grown up?” Ji Zhenshi mumbled next. Her eyes welled red and glossy.

Plop. Tears rained down onto Li Yunli’s chest, one after another.

Every lingering pressure evaporated in that instant. With tender care, Li Yunli shed her damp top, slipped into one of Ji Zhenshi’s casual shirts, and drew her close beneath the covers—like soothing a child. “No, Xiao Zhen. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me who’s at fault.”

“Xiao Zhen, I went to the doctor today. You called me a coward yesterday, and it really hurt. I don’t want to be a coward anymore.”

“It’s so hard, but I’ll push through the trauma. I’ll cooperate with the treatment. I keep thinking—if only I could speak, I wouldn’t have to run from everything like this.”

Ji Zhenshi’s pleas from the night before had sunk deep. Li Yunli had voiced rejection, but the weight of that love made denial impossible.

Today, she’d summoned all her courage for one last shred of hope: a visit to the doctor for proper therapy and training. The odds were slim, but the urgency to reclaim normalcy burned fierce. The shadows she’d fled for so long now felt conquerable, fueled by those earnest pleas—urging her to grow stronger.

Yet the tattoo over Ji Zhenshi’s heart, that humble desperation, filled her with deeper regret. She never should have wounded a heart so purely devoted to her.

Ji Zhenshi claimed nothing mattered.

The worries that plagued Li Yunli meant nothing to her. She brimmed with courage, willing to crash headlong into walls without hesitation.

Xiao Zhen, I believe you. I’ve never once doubted your love.

“You’re the coward. I’m not.” Ji Zhenshi’s vision swam blurry. She caught a vague glimpse of “coward” in the signs and blurted the retort.

Li Yunli pulled her even closer, her own eyes reddening. “Xiao Zhen, I’m not a coward either.”

They cried together for a long while until Ji Zhenshi drifted into a hazy sleep.

Reluctantly extricating herself, Li Yunli gazed at that restless sleeping face and reached out to test her forehead.

Still scorching.

It was too late to wake Xia Siyuan for fever medicine. Instead, Li Yunli dressed quickly and slipped downstairs to buy some antipyretics suitable for after drinking.

The night wind blew chill, but clutching clothes steeped in Ji Zhenshi’s scent kept Li Yunli feeling oddly warm. She tilted her head skyward.

Strange—there was a moon tonight. A brilliantly bright one.

Her thoughts drifted to the tattoo on Ji Zhenshi’s chest. At first glance, it was just a beautiful design, nothing more. But recalling those words—uttered even in her delirium—struck her anew. How long had Ji Zhenshi pondered them in secret? How many times had she rehearsed them silently?

Xiao Zhen, I am your moon.

Ji Zhenshi’s fever persisted; Li Yunli hurried back without delay.

Inside the room, Ji Zhenshi writhed in discomfort, unable to sleep. She draped half her upper body off the bed’s edge, her face flushed crimson—neck and chest glowing the same pitiful red. Poor little good child.

“Are you going to throw up?” Li Yunli signed to her.

Ji Zhenshi’s features twisted in agony. She ground her back teeth, her whole body wracked with misery as she fought the pain. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep—you’ve got stuff tomorrow.”

Glimmers of reason had returned, but she mistook Li Yunli for Xia Siyuan. Subconsciously, she hated burdening a friend so late at night.

Deep down, she chalked the earlier events to a dream—that explained her indulgence. Yet everything felt achingly real in her haze.

Tears streamed silently as Ji Zhenshi braced one hand against the floor, forcing blood to her head in hopes of relief.

Li Yunli bit her lip until it ached, her heart twisting. “Good child, take the medicine—it’ll make you feel better.”

She slipped the pill into Ji Zhenshi’s mouth, and obediently, she swallowed. Li Yunli patted her back in soothing strokes. “Time to sleep, okay?”

Ji Zhenshi cracked a grin. “Mm.”

Only in dreams would she see Li Yunli this gentle again.

Li Yunli brewed some hangover soup and coaxed a few sips down before Ji Zhenshi rebelled, whining and dissolving into fresh tears.

Sighing helplessly, Li Yunli rubbed her back and promised “just the last bit.” Adding a straw worked wonders—she drained far more. “Tastes awful.”

Nothing like fruity wine. She’d hoped the straw might magically draw that instead.

What a miscalculation.

“What would taste good to you?” Li Yunli set the cup aside, her gaze lingering fondly on Ji Zhenshi’s profile. Only now did she dare truly caress that cheek, tracing the contours of her features.

The tears refused to stop. Li Yunli had never grasped the online notion of a “little crybaby” until witnessing Ji Zhenshi drunk like this. Now it felt all too real.

Such an adorable Xiao Zhen.

Her fingers trailed gently along Ji Zhenshi’s jawline, eyes drifting lower to the chest just barely veiled by the covers. The moon tattoo rose and fell with each breath, etched with the rhythm of her heartbeat.

Xiao Zhen was so brave.

Ji Zhenshi squirmed in misery, dimly registering Li Yunli beside her. “Can I have some milk?”

“Hm?” Li Yunli blinked in confusion. Milk, out of nowhere?

She checked the forehead again: still burning. The fever wouldn’t break quickly.

Deep in worry, she felt a sharp prick at her chest and glanced down at the fuzzy head nuzzling there.

“……”

Suddenly, it all made sense.

Thankfully, Ji Zhenshi’s clumsy lunge lacked real intent—just a nip at her collarbone.

Intense shame flooded Li Yunli. She gently nudged the head away.

She’d never look at Ji Zhenshi drinking milk the same way again!

No more nagging her about it, ever.

“No!” The moment her mouth lost its target, Ji Zhenshi wailed in protest.

At her wits’ end, Li Yunli lifted the covers and slid into bed.

Ji Zhenshi shamelessly exploited Li Yunli’s guilt over the slap, pushing boundaries with outrageous behavior—and astonishingly, Li Yunli allowed it.

She simply owed the girl too much.

“Xiao Zhen, will you ever regret this?” Li Yunli signed with grave seriousness.

Youthful passion always cooled eventually. When life’s mundanities set in, would Ji Zhenshi rue her stubborn pursuit of this chance at love?

Ji Zhenshi didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid. She gnawed earnestly on that small patch of flesh, instinctively burrowing deeper into Li Yunli’s arms.

The pain grew unbearable; Li Yunli’s elegant brows furrowed. “Xiao Zhen…”

But Ji Zhenshi couldn’t see, and intoxication robbed her of any coherent reply.

Li Yunli held her breath, disappointment settling as she patted Ji Zhenshi’s back. She cradled her close, treasuring every precious second.

The throbbing at her chest became impossible to ignore. Grimacing, she eased away.

Too mortifying…

What a well-behaved little baby. Did Ji Zhenshi need a teething toy or something?

Li Yunli pondered the question with utmost sincerity.