Chapter 39: The Pitiful Scum – 4

Gu Xizhou was a smart person. If she wanted to get close to someone, there was almost no one she couldn’t win over.

Throughout three years of university, Gu Xizhou and Su Zhiyi maintained the closest of friendships, yet remained ambiguously close, sometimes near, sometimes far, on the cusp of “love.”

The more she interacted with Su Zhiyi up close, the more Gu Xizhou understood that this person was a distinct individual, completely different from Su Nanfeng.

Sometimes, even in her midnight dreams, she would wonder: Was what she was doing really necessary?

She had already escaped Su Nanfeng. She had also helped many children who were once just like her. Could she still not walk out of the dark nights of her youth?

She searched her heart, asking herself over and over, and the answer she arrived at was always: “No.”

Su Nanfeng had to pay the price.

Her occasional hesitations and reservations meant she never chose to get truly close to Su Zhiyi. The two maintained their relationship as close friends, and during this time, they both rejected many suitors, keeping the situation where both were single.

The summer break of their third year, Gu Xizhou and Su Zhiyi returned to Star City together to find an internship at a hospital.

Su Zhiyi wanted to experience the grassroots level to understand the hidden demands of the current medical market for equipment. Gu Xizhou was laying the groundwork for her future job.

By then, Gu Xizhou had long been an adult and had moved out of her family home. She found a place to live near the hospital for the summer.

Su Zhiyi moved into a private apartment near the hospital, studying and doing her internship work simultaneously.

Their commutes happened to align, and Gu Xizhou would sometimes walk her home.

One night, after Gu Xizhou saw Su Zhiyi to the ground floor of her apartment building, she turned to leave. As Su Zhiyi stepped out of the elevator, she faintly heard the sound of violent, pitiful crying and crashing.

Amid the wails, a drunk man’s cursing voice accompanied it: “Bitch!”

“You fucking bitch!”

“Chatting up an alpha the moment you see one, you think I’m dead?!”

Su Zhiyi stopped in her tracks immediately. Instinctively, she took out her phone and called Gu Xizhou.

The call connected in a second. The woman’s cool, clear voice came through: “What’s up? Is something wrong?”

Su Zhiyi, listening to the faint cries, spoke hesitantly: “The apartment across from me… it sounds like someone is assaulting their partner.”

Gu Xizhou instantly understood why she was asking for help. She soothed her: “Don’t panic, I’ll be right there.”

She immediately turned and headed back towards the apartment, saying as she walked: “Don’t go over to check yourself first. Ensure your own safety, you hear me?”

“Mm.”

Su Zhiyi agreed readily. But after hanging up, listening to the commotion coming from the door across the hall, she felt increasingly uneasy.

Hearing these tragic sounds of misfortune carried on the wind, after hesitating a moment, she gathered her courage and stepped forward. She walked across the hall and pressed the doorbell.

The doorbell rang for a good while, and the noise inside ceased.

Not long after, the door latch clicked. A drunken man stumbled out. Seeing Su Zhiyi, his coarse eyebrows shot up. Standing there with his stick-thin frame, he barked gruffly: “Who are you looking for?!”

Su Zhiyi instinctively shuffled back two steps. Frowning severely, she asked: “Are you committing violence against someone?”

The question sounded so naive and bookish. The man’s long eyebrows rose, and he turned his head, roaring at the woman sobbing on the floor inside: “Bitch, someone’s here to stick up for you.”

Su Zhiyi’s brow immediately furrowed deeper. Gripping her phone, she said coldly: “Hitting people is against the law. I’ve called the police!”

The man’s face instantly twisted with impatience. He waved a hand dismissively at Su Zhiyi, shouting: “Who are you, who are you? I’m disciplining my wife behind closed doors! None of your damn business!”

“Little girl, mind your own business, you’ve eaten too much.”

As he spoke, his drunken body swayed closer to Su Zhiyi. She tensed up immediately. But before the man could touch her, a familiar voice came from nearby: “Zhiyi…”

Su Zhiyi whipped her head around to see Gu Xizhou charging out of the elevator, rushing towards her like a small bullet.

A split second before the man could touch Su Zhiyi, Gu Xizhou yanked her over and flung her behind herself. At the same moment, she kicked the man hard in the waist.

With a “thud,” the already disoriented man crashed headfirst onto the ground.

Su Zhiyi gasped in shock. Gu Xizhou, gripping her hand, looked back at her. Her eyes still held a trace of ferocity: “Didn’t I tell you to wait for me first! What were you doing!”

Su Zhiyi had never seen such a look in her eyes. It was completely different from the usual gentleness and compliance; it was a totally different side of her.

It was as if this Gu Xizhou was the real her.

The concern and reproach in her eyes were so obvious, Su Zhiyi’s heart skipped a beat. Just as she was about to say something, the man who had fallen to the ground staggered back up. Cursing, he swung his fist at Gu Xizhou: “You’re fucking asking for it!”

Gu Xizhou raised a hand and caught his fist. She yanked him forward, kicked him in the backside, twisted his arm behind his back, and stepped on him, pinning him down.

Pinning the drunken, cursing man under her foot, holding him firmly in place, Gu Xizhou released her pheromones to suppress him. She looked up at Su Zhiyi nearby: “What are you standing there for? Call the police!”

Su Zhiyi snapped out of it quickly, immediately dialing the police. The police arrived swiftly and took everyone to the station.

——

The incident dragged on until the early hours of the morning. At the police station, the drunk man continued his tirade, claiming he was just disciplining his wife at home, that they were meddling busybodies who had hit him.

His battered wife sat to the side, her face and body covered in bruises. Su Zhiyi sat beside the woman, gently advising her. If she needed to file a lawsuit or get an injury assessment, she could offer help.

It seemed that with violence, once the perpetrator branded it with the words “school” or “family,” it became a matter of “no lawsuit without a plaintiff’s complaint, no investigation by authorities.”

Even at the police station, the officers focused heavily on Gu Xizhou hitting the man, with no questions about whether he had domestically abused his partner.

The man kept shouting that he had no grudge against Su Zhiyi and Gu Xizhou, that they just hit him, and he insisted Gu Xizhou pay compensation.

Gu Xizhou ignored his unreasonable harassment. She calmly stated her case: “I saw this drunk man about to assault my friend. I acted in self-defense, hence I made a move against him.”

“If you don’t believe it, you can check the surveillance footage.”

She made no mention of him abusing his partner, sticking solely to the facts. Her cooperative attitude was good. The statement-taking wrapped up around 1 AM, and the matter was considered tentatively settled.

Because she was the one who had physically struck him, even with a private settlement, she still had to give the man a thousand yuan for medical expenses.

Naturally, Su Zhiyi paid this sum.

It was an absolute losing deal. When the two left the station, Su Zhiyi looked extremely guilty: “I’m sorry, Gu Xizhou. I caused you trouble.”

In truth, over these three years of interacting with Su Zhiyi, they had encountered similar troubles quite a few times.

By now, Gu Xizhou had also collected her emotions. She rubbed her face and looked at Su Zhiyi: “It’s fine.”

Her tone was flat, and her eyes had returned to their usual gentleness: “Let’s go, I’ll take you home first.”

“Okay.”

After such an event, Gu Xizhou didn’t dare let Su Zhiyi stay alone that night.

Su Zhiyi also felt it was too late. Even though Gu Xizhou was an alpha, it wasn’t entirely safe or convenient for her to go back alone, so she simply asked her to stay over.

Having made this decision, Gu Xizhou realized belatedly that she might be paying too much attention to Su Zhiyi.

This had already deviated from her original plan—it was completely different from what she intended.

Especially the moment after her shower, when she changed into Su Zhiyi’s pajamas, Gu Xizhou even had the urge to flee.

Maybe I should just leave like this? Block all of Su Zhiyi’s contact info, never see her again.

To hell with Su Nanfeng and Su Zhiyi. Everyone with the surname Su should stay far away from her. She was going to live her own life.

Gu Xizhou thought this, resolving that in a moment she would change back into her own clothes and bolt immediately.

Unfortunately, her plan was beautiful, but the moment she stepped out of the bathroom, Su Zhiyi blocked her at the door.

Facing her amplified, beautiful face head-on, Gu Xizhou instinctively retreated a step. Keeping her expression taut, she asked: “What’s wrong?”

Su Zhiyi smiled, her eyes curving. She asked softly: “You must be hungry by now, right? I made some instant noodles. Want some?”

Perhaps the bathroom light was too bright. Looking up at that fair, delicate face, Gu Xizhou felt as though she was glowing.

It was strange. They had similar features, yet she didn’t particularly dislike Su Zhiyi.

Was she developing Stockholm syndrome? That seeing this face one day didn’t make her want to vomit, and she even found it beautiful.

The thought flashed briefly through Gu Xizhou’s mind, but what reacted faster than her brain was her stomach.

The aroma of instant noodles wafted over from the living room. Gu Xizhou’s stomach growled traitorously.

Gu Xizhou’s face instantly flushed red. Su Zhiyi gave a kind smile and said softly: “See? I told you it was hungry. Let’s go eat a little.”

Gu Xizhou: …

Looking at the tenderness in Su Zhiyi’s eyes, she lost all her defiance instantly. The night dismantled her will, eating away at all her resistance.

Her darkness, her paranoia, the hurts of her youth, were briefly suppressed by that smile.

Gu Xizhou indulged her own weakness, following her heart, and nodded: “Okay.”

Then she’d eat a little.

It was called instant noodles, but it was actually quite a feast.

Although Su Zhiyi lived alone in the apartment, someone came daily to deliver meals. Her fridge was always full.

But Su Zhiyi occasionally ate “cup noodles,” so the housekeeper had prepared a plate of spiced beef in the fridge for her.

Now, all that spiced beef belonged to Gu Xizhou. The bowl, neither too big nor too small, was completely covered in beef slices.

Gu Xizhou knew the state of Su Zhiyi’s fridge well, so she wasted no words and started eating directly.

Su Zhiyi ate a little too. After two bites, she propped her chin on her hands, sitting opposite Gu Xizhou, smiling at her.

Gu Xizhou felt uncomfortable under her gaze. She glanced up at her, mumbling: “Why are you staring at me? Eat.”

Su Zhiyi laughed. After thinking for a moment, she gathered her courage and spoke: “Gu Xizhou, can I ask you a question?”

Gu Xizhou, picking up beef from the bowl, answered casually: “Sure, go ahead.”

Her expression was unguarded, completely different from when she’d been fighting, very innocent and carefree.

Looking at her face, Su Zhiyi’s thoughts churned.

This was a very important question. For the past two years, she had always wanted to ask, but could never bring herself to voice it.

In that cold winter of their sophomore year, she was at the library late at night working on a PowerPoint presentation. Gu Xizhou, covered in snow, pushed open the glass door and pulled steaming hot wontons from inside her thick down jacket. Her eyes sparkled: “Here, from that old alley shop. Still hot.”

“Your assignment is important, but you need to eat too.”

The weather was freezing, but Su Zhiyi had felt a warmth in her heart. She had wanted to ask then.

Last year, during a typhoon, torrential rain suddenly poured down. She and a group of others were stranded in the teaching building, unable to return to the dorms. It was Gu Xizhou who braved the rain back to the dormitory, bringing several umbrellas to pick them up.

Because the ground was deeply flooded, the area in front of the teaching building had become a vast lake. That day, Su Zhiyi happened to be wearing white sneakers, making it inconvenient to wade through the water. It was Gu Xizhou who carried her on her back out.

Holding an umbrella, lying on Gu Xizhou’s back, Su Zhiyi had wanted to ask then.

And then last winter break, she was interning at a company and had to attend a business dinner. She drank too much and nearly got harassed. It was Gu Xizhou who stopped the man and got her safely home.

Walking side by side through the deep winter streets late at night, looking at Gu Xizhou’s slender shoulders, Su Zhiyi had wanted to ask then.

She was not heartless, nor was she some saint devoid of desire. Of course she felt something.

Sometimes she felt Gu Xizhou might also have some feelings for her. But other times, she wasn’t sure.

She was afraid that once everything was out in the open, what she’d get would be nothing but an unpleasant, unresolved ending.

That would be terrible. That wasn’t what she wanted.

But like this, repeatedly dwelling on an unasked question, seemed just as terrible.

She couldn’t go on like this, Su Zhiyi thought. If this continued, regardless of the answer, it would take her a long, long time to accept it.

Su Zhiyi quickly sorted out her emotions. Taking a deep breath, she gazed at the woman before her and asked the question that had troubled her for so long: “Gu Xizhou, are you a lesbian?”

Gu Xizhou, who was in the middle of eating noodles, froze instantly. She looked up at Su Zhiyi, who blinked and repeated the question seriously: “I know it’s presumptuous, but I still want to ask: Are you a lesbian?”

Gu Xizhou’s eyes widened. A breath caught in her throat. A noodle lodged there, making her choke.

“Cough, cough, cough, cough cough…”

She coughed violently, bits of noodle sputtering out. Gu Xizhou covered her mouth, frantically looking for water.

Su Zhiyi showed an apologetic expression, quickly handing water to her and helping her drink it.

She sat beside Gu Xizhou, patting her back to help her breathe, her voice filled with guilt: “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Gu Xizhou coughed like she was about to hack up a lung. It took a while to recover. After drinking water and wiping her mouth with a tissue, she finally settled her shock.

Sitting on the sofa, wiping the reflexive tears from her eyes, she turned to look at Su Zhiyi beside her, her expression indescribable: “Why would you think I’m a lesbian?”

Ah… Wasn’t she?

Su Zhiyi processed for a moment, then chose her words carefully: “Because… aren’t you very supportive of gay rights?”

Gu Xizhou took a deep breath. She looked at Su Zhiyi, her expression complex: “Supporting it doesn’t mean I am one. I’m straight!”

“I don’t like alphas!”

If anything, the gender she hated most in this world was alpha!

Bar none!

Su Zhiyi paused, a trace of joy bubbling up in her heart. She tried to hide it, picking up her own water glass. Her ears turning red, she asked softly: “So… you mean you like omegas?”

Gu Xizhou suddenly understood why Su Zhiyi, who sometimes seemed to feel a spark for her, could restrain herself so well.

So the problem was here—she thought she was a lesbian!

Just where did she get that idea? She couldn’t possibly think she liked Su Nanfeng, right?

Ah, Su Nanfeng can go die!

And Su Zhiyi… never mind, let her explode too!

Gu Xizhou’s mind was a chaotic mess. Organizing her emotions, she pursed her lips and softened her tone: “Omega, beta… either is fine. Just not alpha.”

Su Zhiyi asked instinctively: “Why not an alpha?”

Could it be that Gu Xizhou was actually very traditional?

Gu Xizhou thought for a moment and gave an answer that was half-truth, half-lie: “Because I’ve been bullied by alphas.”

“I’m not tall, and back in school, I was discriminated against by alphas.”

Su Zhiyi hadn’t expected that answer. She turned her head to look at Gu Xizhou beside her and seriously gave her assessment: “You’re plenty tall. Actually, how you are is perfectly fine.”

“They were the ones in the wrong.”

Gu Xizhou hummed an “Mm” in response, picked up her chopsticks, and continued eating her noodles.

Receiving an unexpected answer, Su Zhiyi felt a small surge of happiness. She felt her heart settle firmly, no longer adrift.

Su Zhiyi was very pleased and decided to press on: “Then can I ask one more question?”

Gu Xizhou said flatly: “Ask away.”

Su Zhiyi pursed her lips. Her ears red, she asked in a small voice: “Then… what kind of omega or beta do you like?”

The period of ambiguous, undefined feelings was indeed lovely, but it wasn’t suitable for dealing with Gu Xizhou—especially Gu Xizhou, who just learned she’d been mistakenly thought to be in love with Su Nanfeng for two years.

Gu Xizhou was irritable. Her emotions were a bit hard to control. She knew she couldn’t take it out on Su Zhiyi, so she forced it down with effort.

She tried for a few seconds, but it was futile. Finally, she couldn’t help looking up at Su Zhiyi. Her expression tangled, she said: “You asking this question now… does that mean that after I’ve pursued you for two years, you haven’t felt anything at all?”

Pursued you for two years?

Haven’t felt anything at all?

Su Zhiyi’s brain frantically processed the message of this sentence. Unfortunately, her brain overloaded. Her face rapidly turned bright red.

Seeing the girl’s flushed pink cheeks, the bit of resentment Gu Xizhou had been holding in her heart dissipated rapidly.

She poked her chopsticks, picked up some noodles. Her ears warming, feeling thoroughly satisfied, she continued eating.

Very well. Starting today, let Su Zhiyi do the agonizing alone. Tomorrow, she was running away.