Chapter 55: Little Cutie Snuggles – 4

Gu Xizhou hurriedly boarded the subway, completely unaware that the other person, following behind her, had also gotten on the same train.

After the train doors closed, Gu Xizhou hugged her backpack, leaning against the wall amidst the crowded car. Her mind was filled entirely with Xu Erya’s indifferent face, looking just like an emotionless girl straight out of a manga.

That face truly left a deep impression on her. It was because of her that, in the dream, Gu Xizhou lost Su Zhiyi.

Not just Xu Erya alone. There was the secretary she saved, and other individuals who wanted Su Zhiyi to know the truth…

So many truths, all delivered on the same day to a woman who had only been out of the hospital for a few months, still in a depressive state, and who had just personally sent her one and only sister to prison. It was enough to drive her mad.

The feeling from the dream was so vivid. That night, she’d drunk a glass of milk and gone to sleep as usual, only to wake in a chill, finding herself nearly naked, tied to the headboard by Su Zhiyi.

She opened her eyes. Through the haze, she saw Su Zhiyi sitting on the bedside, idly playing with a small knife in her hand, her back view utterly desolate.

Gu Xizhou instinctively knew something was wrong. She called out to her with a hoarse voice, “Zhiyi…”

Su Zhiyi didn’t turn around. Her back to her, she lowered her gaze to the fruit knife in her hand, her expression already spellbound. “Xizhou… you once said you would never lie to me, right?”

Gu Xizhou’s heart went cold. Noticing her bound state, she thought for a moment and said calmly, “Of course not.”

Su Zhiyi drew a deep breath, turned her eyes to Gu Xizhou, her eyes brimming with surging tears. “Then can you tell me, what exactly is your relationship with my sister?”

“Was it really just because she thought you were deceiving me, suspected you of harming me and my mother, that she tried to kill you so brutally?”

“Did you really… do nothing at all?”

A chill ran through Gu Xizhou’s entire body. Su Zhiyi’s tears fell pattering down. Gripping the small knife, she leaned forward and pressed it against her neck, her eyes desperate. “Tell me, Xizhou. Did you approach me just to take revenge on her?”

“You don’t love me at all. You even detested our child…”

Su Zhiyi’s tears became a torrent. Applying a little pressure with her hand, she pressed a line of blood onto Gu Xizhou’s neck, nearly insane. “You knew I was pregnant!”

“Xu Erya told me—the day you accompanied her to the hospital, you ran into me while I was there for a check-up!”

“You knew, Gu Xizhou! So why did you still do it? That child… it wasn’t an accident that it was lost. You did it on purpose!”

“How cruel your heart is, Gu Xizhou!”

Gu Xizhou’s mind went completely blank. She no longer knew how to react. Watching the tears streaming wantonly from Su Zhiyi’s eyes, a colossal regret churned and drowned her.

Her stomach cramped, her heart spasmed in pain. Tears slid from the corners of her own eyes. She defended herself instinctively, “No… it’s not like that…”

“I never imagined you would get pregnant… I… I…”

What was she supposed to say? She’d had surgery; it was highly improbable for Su Zhiyi to conceive. She clearly knew how much Su Zhiyi wanted a child of her own, but she just didn’t want to give her one.

She had thought Su Zhiyi would never find out the truth. She had sent Su Nanfeng to prison, deprived Su Tianyu of her life. All the people obstructing them were gone. They could have continued on like this forever.

But the moment she used the same methods as the other party, harm to Su Zhiyi was inevitable.

Once harm is inflicted, it cannot be undone. Sooner or later, there would be a day of exposure.

Just like now…

Gu Xizhou quickly sorted out the whole situation and hastily steered the topic onto Xu Erya. “Did Xu Erya say something to you? I told you, I only see her as a sister. There’s nothing between me and her!”

“Her child isn’t mine. She got pregnant accidentally. She didn’t want the child’s mother to know…”

“I said it, I only love you!”

But Su Zhiyi no longer believed her. The knife in her hand pressed down further, her state resembling madness. “No, you don’t love me. From beginning to end, you’ve never respected me. You’ve been lying to me all along.”

Su Zhiyi lowered her gaze and looked at her. Those usually gentle eyes held only the bleakness of despair. “Gu Xizhou, I was merely a tool for your revenge.”

“I was. The child was too… You don’t love anyone at all. You don’t even love yourself…”

“You are a devil.”

The memories that followed became fragmented. Dreams of overly traumatic memories always make one selectively forget certain things.

Even before Su Nanfeng went to prison, Su Zhiyi had already been somewhat depressed because she lost that child.

Gu Xizhou couldn’t recall what exactly “her dream self” had said to provoke Su Zhiyi into picking up the knife and stabbing her again and again in places that would cause bleeding but weren’t fatal.

The surging hatred, turning over after illusory love and betrayal, devoured all reason.

Lying on the bed, in a pool of blood, she screamed like a madwoman, “No, you can’t blame me! It was Su Nanfeng. Everything is Su Nanfeng’s fault!”

“I could have loved you! It was Su Nanfeng who wouldn’t allow it!”

“Then kill me! If killing me can make you feel better, then kill me! I don’t want to live either!”

“Being with you makes me feel sick too!”

Her mouth was full of ravings, all hurtful words. At that time, she herself couldn’t distinguish whether, after so much torment later on, she still loved Su Zhiyi or not.

Perhaps she did. But the more she loved the other, the more she hated her.

Hated her birth, hated her family, hated everything about her—including the child she unilaterally decided to have.

She had completely ceased to resemble the self of her youth.

How terrifying. Soaked in hatred for many years, she finally forgot her original intentions, becoming unrecognizable, losing everything.

This was her retribution.

Memories surged like a tide. The younger Gu Xizhou hugged her backpack, huddled in the subway car, feeling in this very moment a heartache and regret identical to 0820’s.

She pressed hard against her cramping stomach, breathing deeply over and over, emphasizing to herself, “It won’t be like that.”

“You won’t become that person in the dream. You won’t become that Gu Xizhou. You won’t become a replica of Su Nanfeng.”

“You won’t use love to retaliate against hate. You won’t hurt Su Zhiyi.”

“You will cherish her. You will protect her. You will…”

The younger Gu Xizhou lowered her eyes, a glimmer of tears within them. She was already crying. “You have to watch her be happy, Gu Xizhou.”

Su Zhiyi was a good girl. She deserved a better life. That kind of Gu Xizhou did not deserve to be with her.

Her emotions were so intense, they even took on a materialized aggressiveness.

0820, residing within her brainwaves, felt the change in her emotions, nearly submerged by the tidal wave of her will.

Dimly, she felt her own consciousness like a lone island on a pitch-black sea, about to lose its way in the raging storm—about to merge into one with the other.

She doesn’t deserve it… She doesn’t deserve it… She doesn’t deserve it!

But! So what?

She was determined to hold on! Just give her one more chance, she could make amends again!

Except for that child, she hadn’t done a single thing wrong. She hadn’t cheated, hadn’t fallen in love with someone else. Su Nanfeng was in prison, and Su Tianyu was dead. What else could stop her?

Not even death could stop her from being with Su Zhiyi.

Even as the storm howled, 0820’s willpower was firmer than the reefs of an island. She knew a mistake was a mistake. Mistakes couldn’t be undone; the past could not be corrected. But she wanted a future.

The future held infinite possibilities. Just let her talk to Su Zhiyi once more, in a healthy mental state, and surely…

Surely she would forgive her.

The younger Gu Xizhou leaned against the wall in a daze, jostled along the whole subway ride.

When the station arrival announcement sounded by her ear, the younger Gu Xizhou heard the words “High School” and, in a trance, followed a group of students wearing different uniforms off the train.

She walked slowly. Getting off the train, her body lurched forward, and she accidentally bumped into someone ahead of her.

It was a very petite girl. Rammed by her like this, the girl stumbled forward and fell to the ground entirely, person and backpack tumbling down.

People around looked over. Gu Xizhou sobered up at once. She hurriedly ran in front of the girl, reached out to help her up, and apologized profusely. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

But the girl ignored her. She sat limply on the ground, supporting herself with both hands. Lifting her eyes, she glanced at Gu Xizhou.

Deep eyes, indifferent expression. It was unmistakably the same Xu Erya from before.

Gu Xizhou’s brain jammed instantly. She looked at the other girl’s flushed face, felt her rapid breathing, and sensed the wisps of pheromones she was beginning to release. A shocking realization struck her. “You’re differentiating!”

Gu Xizhou quickly took off her backpack and unbuttoned her coat. She wrapped the petite girl, in the middle of her differentiation, tightly in the large coat, immediately covering her up.

She whipped her head around frantically. Her gaze passed through the hurriedly moving crowd and spotted a staff member guiding passengers. She shouted urgently, “Someone’s fainted! Please help!”

The staff member turned his head, saw Gu Xizhou kneeling on the ground, and quickly rushed over.

Before long, along with several staff members, Gu Xizhou sent the unconscious, differentiating Xu Erya safely to the hospital.

After confirming the other girl was safe, Gu Xizhou hastily rushed to school.

As expected, Gu Xizhou made a spectacular late entrance.

By the time she showed up at the classroom door, more than half of the first period had already passed. It just so happened to be English class with their homeroom teacher, Song Qiao. Gu Xizhou had been planning to sneak dejectedly into the classroom but was caught right on the spot.

Song Qiao, writing on the blackboard, turned around. Seeing the timid Gu Xizhou at the door, she teased, “Oh wow! Our classmate Gu Xizhou finally graces us with her presence.”

“What an honor, your esteemed arrival illuminates our humble classroom.”

The students below couldn’t help but laugh at these words. An air of merriment filled the classroom.

Gu Xizhou’s face flushed bright red. Hanging her head, she said in a tiny voice, “I’m sorry, Teacher. I’m late.”

Song Qiao didn’t say much more, only swept her gaze over her and spoke with great authority. “Come to my office after class to explain yourself. Now get back to your seat and study properly!”

“Yes.”

Holding her backpack, Gu Xizhou carefully cradled her coat and returned to her seat.

The bell for the end of class soon rang. Gu Xizhou got up and followed Song Qiao to her office. She was lectured as a matter of course and sent back with the requirement to write an 800-word self-criticism.

After another class, during the second break, Yan Qing came looking for her from the back row.

She leaned against Gu Xizhou’s desk, rapping on its surface, and asked with a beaming smile, “Why were you late today? Oversleep? That’s really not like you.”

Gu Xizhou explained to her, “Ran into something on the way, so I was late.”

Yan Qing raised an eyebrow, finding it a bit strange. “Oh ho? What happened? Did you help an old lady cross the street or something?”

They were standing close. Yan Qing leaned in a little, and she immediately caught a whiff of an unusual scent from Gu Xizhou.

Her expression changed instantly. She jumped a step back, staring at Gu Xizhou in shock, and raised her volume. “Gu Xizhou, what’s going on? Why do you smell like Omega pheromones?”

Her voice wasn’t loud, but the information was heavy.

The classmates in the classroom all swiveled their heads towards Gu Xizhou at once.

Gu Xizhou felt like she had needles pricking her back. Her face, like a steamed hairy crab, was completely red.