Chapter 21

That feeling came again.

It was always so intense and chaotic, capable of throwing everything into disarray.

Like the cold resolve Tang Tianman had been clinging to just a second ago.

She really wanted to ask Zheng Xiyu what exactly she couldn’t endure. What was there to endure that required such a word?

But she suspected Zheng Xiyu would reply that she couldn’t hold back from looking at the photos right away.

That would leave her utterly humiliated.

Tang Tianman stood frozen in place, lost in thought for a long while.

Zheng Xiyu didn’t press her. She waited quietly for an answer. In this setting, Tang Tianman almost imagined she could hear Zheng Xiyu’s breathing.

One breath after another, echoing that old saying.

I don’t want tomorrow. I want now.

Tang Tianman finally spoke. “Then where?”

Zheng Xiyu replied, “Don’t move. I’ll come to your dorm.”

“Is a girls’ dorm somewhere you can just barge into?” Tang Tianman asked.

Zheng Xiyu smiled. “Senior Sister, I’m a girl too.”

She dragged out the ending syllable, sounding quite aggrieved.

Tang Tianman felt a sudden twinge of guilt.

It had been an offhand comment, but the moment it left her lips, she knew it was wrong.

With Zheng Xiyu’s height and athletic build, people must have called her boyish ever since she was little. And the cruel ones would mock her for it.

Just like they had when she and Zheng Xiyu first met.

“Oh, that…” Tang Tianman murmured, dazed. She hurried to make amends. “Come over, then. But we need to tidy up first.”

“Mm,” Zheng Xiyu said. “Ten minutes enough?”

“Fifteen minutes.” Tang Tianman recalled the dorm cluttered with snacks from earlier that day.

“All right. What’s your dorm number?”

“4520.” Tang Tianman turned and started heading back.

“520?” Zheng Xiyu repeated.

“Yeah, 520.” Tang Tianman saw nothing amiss.

“Good. 520.” Zheng Xiyu felt a lift in her mood.

After hanging up, Tang Tianman immediately called Ruan Ruan and told them to clean the room.

“What for?” Ruan Ruan grumbled, though her hands were already in motion. “Random inspection?”

“No, someone’s coming over.”

“From the Publicity Department? Didn’t you already drop off her stuff?”

“Don’t ask questions. Hurry—only fifteen minutes.”

“Psh, fifteen minutes is plenty of time for anything,” Ruan Ruan said with total confidence.

And fifteen minutes really was enough for anything. By the time Tang Tianman reached the dorm, Ruan Ruan and Li Tong had the place mostly sorted.

The three of them were diligent about cleaning on their duty days, so the room’s baseline was already fairly neat.

Straightening the scattered odds and ends on the surface made everything look much more inviting.

Ruan Ruan swept the corners meticulously with the broom, clearing out every last crumb. “Who is it, anyway? Such a grand welcome.”

Tang Tianman tidied her desk and opened her computer in advance. “Zheng Xiyu.”

Ruan Ruan’s hands froze mid-motion.

Li Tong, who had been stacking basins like nesting dolls, stopped too.

“Psh!” Li Tong tossed the basin aside. “The Tall One? Why bother cleaning for her?”

“Yeah.” Ruan Ruan plopped down on the nearby stool. “We’re practically besties. She’s just a underclassman.”

Li Tong corrected her. “College underclassman.”

Ruan Ruan nodded. “Right, college underclassman. Sure, she’s tall, but her personality’s so mellow. Like what, exactly…?”

Li Tong supplied, “Big Golden Retriever.”

Ruan Ruan countered, “Samoyed.”

Tang Tianman smirked coldly from the corner of her mouth. “You two haven’t seen her true colors at all.”

Li Tong perked up. “And what are those?”

Tang Tianman paused. “Big Tail Wolf.”

Li Tong and Ruan Ruan burst into laughter. “Hahahahahahaha!”

It was exactly fifteen minutes. Ten had passed, and Zheng Xiyu still hadn’t shown.

Ruan Ruan and Li Tong had fully relaxed. They even pulled out the snacks they’d just stowed away, ready to offer them to Zheng Xiyu.

Tang Tianman sat at her computer, glaring at the time in the corner of the screen. The wait was starting to grate on her.

She stood up. “Didn’t we borrow the kettle from next door? Still haven’t returned it?”

Ruan Ruan answered, “Got it back this afternoon.”

“What about the sewing kit?”

“You fixing something?”

“Yeah, a loose button.”

“I’ve got one. Here, take it.”

Tang Tianman waved it off. “Tomorrow. I’m just going to ask something.”

The door clicked shut behind her.

Li Tong grinned. “Guess what she’s really up to.”

Ruan Ruan snorted. “Do I even need to?”

Li Tong shook her head. “Why are you girls so dramatic? If you want to see her, just go. No need for excuses.”

Ruan Ruan tilted her head. “Didn’t you notice? They haven’t seen each other in ages. I bet something happened.”

Li Tong asked, “How long?”

Ruan Ruan thought. “About a week?”

Li Tong scoffed. “Fuck, a week’s normal, isn’t it? The Sports Institute and Literature Academy are miles apart. Is girls’ friendship really that clingy?”

Ruan Ruan sighed. “Some people treat a day apart like three years.”

Li Tong teased, “Like with Jiang Xue?”

Ruan Ruan lunged at her. “Fuck, you’re dead tonight, I swear.”

Li Tong dissolved into manic laughter. “She doesn’t even remember you. Oh man.”

The two tumbled around the dorm in a playful scuffle. Meanwhile, Tang Tianman had paused on the balcony across the hall.

She had only meant to glance out, but there was Zheng Xiyu.

She held a large black umbrella and stood quietly beneath their dorm building.

From this perfect overhead angle, Zheng Xiyu appeared diminished in size.

Her frame was lean and angular, but she carried little bulk.

Dressed in plain, unassuming clothes that screamed harmless, yet no one dared approach her as she stood there motionless.

Zheng Xiyu waited one minute, then two, without stirring.

Tang Tianman watched for one minute, then two, her mind flashing back to Xiao Ji—the time she had stood under the dorm with roses, shouting Tang Tianman’s name.

Lots of people had seen Xiao Ji that day. Tang Tianman hadn’t.

Today, no one paid Zheng Xiyu any mind, but Tang Tianman couldn’t tear her eyes away, not for a second.

Three minutes. Four. Zheng Xiyu waited precisely until their agreed time.

She hadn’t left even a little late or arrived early. What she said was what she did—no room for error.

That was how she had always been.

Whenever Zheng Xiyu agreed to one of Tang Tianman’s unreasonable demands, she followed through without fail.

It made her seem kind, dependable, safe—and irresistibly approachable.

But really, it was just her keeping her word.

Wolf or sheep? The question looped endlessly in Tang Tianman’s head, with no clear answer.

At the five-minute mark, Zheng Xiyu finally moved. She strode quickly into the dorm building and vanished from view.

Tang Tianman exchanged a few muddled words with some classmates, then hurried back to her own dorm. The sound of her roommates horsing around made her heart skip.

“Quiet down,” Tang Tianman said as she entered.

“Here yet?” Ruan Ruan asked.

“Coming…” Tang Tianman bit back the word. “How should I know?”

Li Tong scoffed. “Tch~~~”

The dorm fell completely silent. The three of them sat primly in their respective spots.

Tang Tianman grew even more uncomfortable. “Now you’re too quiet.”

Li Tong threw up her hands in exasperation. “You women…”

She never finished. A knock sounded at the door.

“My people’s here,” Li Tong said, bouncing over to open it.

Zheng Xiyu stood outside, damp from the humidity, a smile on her face. “Hello, Senior Sister.”

“Good, good, good.” Li Tong ushered her in. “Here for Tangdou? You two chat.”

Zheng Xiyu nodded and propped her still-dripping umbrella outside the door.

Tang Tianman stayed glued to her desk, facing the computer screen, not budging.

Zheng Xiyu stepped inside, gave Ruan Ruan a quick greeting, then spared neither the room nor extra words.

She moved behind Tang Tianman. “I’m here.”

Tang Tianman’s body gave an involuntary little shiver. Her fingers clutched the mouse, scrolling frantically. “Grab a chair and sit down to look.”

“All right.” Zheng Xiyu turned to Ruan Ruan. “Senior Sister, mind if I borrow your chair?”

“Use it, use it—go ahead.” Ruan Ruan yanked the chair over. “Make yourself at home.”

She positioned it beside Tang Tianman—not too close, not too far.

Tang Tianman pulled up the photos she’d prepared earlier, her eyes fixed on the screen. “The contest wants a series. What we shot that day works perfectly. I kept the title simple: Training. You looked great in them, so I barely touched up the figures themselves. Mostly just color grading and recomposition…”

“Mm,” Zheng Xiyu murmured softly.

Tang Tianman clicked through once quickly. “That’s it.”

Zheng Xiyu said, “I couldn’t see clearly.”

Tang Tianman felt a flush of guilt. Her nerves had made her hands fly too fast.

She lectured herself inwardly to ignore Zheng Xiyu’s presence breathing down her neck. She scrolled back to the start, slowed her pace, and went through it again.

When she finished, Zheng Xiyu spoke. “Can you walk me through it?”

Tang Tianman finally turned to face her. “Walk you through what?”

Their eyes met, and Tang Tianman realized the distance wasn’t so middling after all.

It was too close. Zheng Xiyu had only leaned in slightly, but it was enough for Tang Tianman to see her own reflection in those pupils.

Just her. Only her.

Zheng Xiyu’s gaze made Tang Tianman suspect she hadn’t glanced at the photos at all—that she’d been staring solely at Tang Tianman the whole time.

Tang Tianman drew in a breath. She wanted to take a deep one for courage, but that would only show weakness in front of the Big Tail Wolf. So she settled for a stealthy little inhale.

Zheng Xiyu’s gaze shifted downward, landing on her lips.

She’d been caught! Tang Tianman twisted her head away, flailing the mouse wildly: “There’s nothing to say about it. It’s just a photo—it looks good, that’s all.”

Zheng Xiyu said: “Does it really look good?”

Tang Tianman: “It looks good. I think it’s pretty great. Sure, it sounds a bit like I’m tooting my own horn, but it’s really good. Ruan Ruan and Tongzi both think so too.”

Ruan Ruan: “Good good good.”

Li Tong: “Ah ah ah.”

Super perfunctory.

Zheng Xiyu said: “You took it well, but I feel like I don’t… quite look that…”

“You’re great.” Tang Tianman wasn’t happy to hear this. She zoomed in on the photo, filling the entire screen with Zheng Xiyu’s face. “Look at these lines, this gaze, and the shape of these muscles. Youth is so wonderful, especially an athlete’s youth—it’s the peak of human physical function in all its beauty. So anyone who sees you will think you look good.”

Zheng Xiyu didn’t speak.

Tang Tianman hated it when models lacked confidence. She turned and glared at her: “Don’t you dis…”

Then she didn’t want to speak either.

Zheng Xiyu was staring at her like that again.

Like the tip of a massive iceberg emerging, making one feel it shouldn’t be ignored—approach with caution and fear.

Tang Tianman couldn’t hold it in. She raised her voice: “Don’t look at me!”

Ruan Ruan and Li Tong were both stunned.

Tang Tianman kept shouting: “Look at the photo!”

But Zheng Xiyu’s gaze stayed on her face: “The person in the photo isn’t good.”

Tang Tianman slammed the table: “How isn’t she good!”

Zheng Xiyu said: “You’d have to ask yourself.”

Tang Tianman shot to her feet, her fiery temper fully ignited. She swung another slap: “Why ask me! Ask me what!”

Her slap didn’t hit the table—it landed right in Zheng Xiyu’s palm.

A loud “smack.”

She’d put way too much force into it. It hurt.

Tang Tianman furrowed her brows. Hitting the table would’ve hurt more, but that kind of pain was predictable.

Hitting Zheng Xiyu’s palm wasn’t—and one portion of pain became two. Zheng Xiyu would hurt too.

Tang Tianman stared at that hand covered in old calluses, fingers still wrapped in bandages. Her nose suddenly soured, her voice choking: “What are you doing!”

Zheng Xiyu didn’t speak. Ruan Ruan chimed in: “Tianman, don’t get worked up. Just talk it out slowly.”

Li Tong quickly added: “Yeah, talk slowly. It’s definitely a misunderstanding—misunderstandings can be cleared up.”

Ruan Ruan shot her a meaningful look: “Tongzi, almost forgot—you’re out of soap, right?”

Li Tong: “Right right, gotta buy some, or no way to wash socks tonight.”

Ruan Ruan: “Together, together.”

The two perfectly set the stage, then left arm in arm, thoughtfully closing the dorm door behind them.

The room fell quiet, leaving just Tang Tianman and Zheng Xiyu.

Tang Tianman didn’t speak, but her emotions were building more and more because Zheng Xiyu was right there in front of her, radiating heat and energy, making her really want to punch her a couple more times.

Zheng Xiyu spoke first: “Sorry. I scared you.”

Tang Tianman froze.

Zheng Xiyu lowered her head, no longer meeting her eyes: “It won’t happen again. Don’t be afraid of me.”