Chapter 104: Give Me a Chance Part 2

Time ticked away in the silence. Finally, Ming Li spoke calmly. “Are you feeling nostalgic?”

“What?” Gu Qingshuang didn’t follow.

“For our past life,” Ming Li said. “Were those three years of marriage beautiful to you? Like the days you spend with Liu Siwang and the others?”

Ming Li felt that Gu Qingshuang was looking at their past through a filter—one that grew thicker as time went on. She felt it necessary to remind Gu Qingshuang of how she had actually spent those three years.

To her surprise, Gu Qingshuang slowly shook her head. “I liked that life, but I’m not nostalgic for it.”

Immediately after the divorce, she had been nostalgic, feeling that everything was wrong. But as time passed, Gu Qingshuang had grown to dislike the pattern of their previous life. She felt it shouldn’t have been that way. They could have been much closer, if only she hadn’t insisted on suppressing her own desires back then…

Perhaps then, she and Ming Li wouldn’t have reached this point.

Gu Qingshuang didn’t know what other people’s marriages were like, but she had asked Shen Chu what it felt like to be married to someone you loved.

Shen Chu had replied, “I literally wake up smiling every day, okay?”

That was when Gu Qingshuang realized their marriage had been fundamentally flawed. So, she didn’t harbor much nostalgia. Especially over the last few days, she had been constantly reflecting on the advice from Chun Liuyi and Liu Siwang.

—Attract Ming Li’s attention.

—Be sincere.

—Find commonality and attraction.

The first two points weren’t difficult for her. It was the last one that was the problem.

Gu Qingshuang felt that Ming Li was her polar opposite. Unless she had a very specific goal or was forced by necessity, Gu Qingshuang was an escapist. Matters of the heart were entirely within her blind spot. She hadn’t wanted to take responsibility; she had been content to live a muddled life and just let it end. What was the point of seeing things clearly if all you saw was ugliness?

But Ming Li had incredible initiative. She was good at taking responsibility, she was patient and gentle, and she possessed an overflowing vitality. She was resilient and sought the sun.

Unlike her, who was like an insect hiding in the darkness.

Recently, Gu Qingshuang had been wondering: Why do I like Ming Li? Why her?

For many, liking someone was a given, and it was the lack of attraction that required a reason. But for Gu Qingshuang, it was the opposite. She had always believed that disliking people was the default state because the human heart was foul and human nature was ugly. Liking someone required a reason.

She had thought about it for a long time. The image of Ming Li that remained fixed in her mind was of her sitting in a hospital corridor, bathed in the brilliant red glow of the evening sunset. Just sitting there, she made one feel at peace.

Gu Qingshuang liked—even obsessed over—that vibrant vitality. It provided her with the nutrients she lacked.

Now that the ice was broken, Gu Qingshuang confessed, “In the beginning, we were tied together by a contract. I never expected to develop feelings for you, so I kept my distance. I knew that after five years, you would leave.”

Ming Li didn’t know why she was suddenly bringing this up. “And now? Why do you have feelings now?”

Gu Qingshuang gave a bitter smile. “Feelings aren’t something I can control.”

“Why can’t you control your feelings?” Ming Li asked. “And why did you have to turn back only after I had already decided to give up?”

“Is there really no shore to return to?” Gu Qingshuang asked.

Ming Li nodded slowly. “Yes. When it’s over, it’s over.”

“We never truly got to know each other,” Gu Qingshuang said. “Why does it have to end like this?”

“But we’ve already seen the ugliest sides of one another.” Ming Li stared at her blankly. The mist from her breath briefly clouded her vision, making the woman across from her look even more beautiful. She lowered her eyes and said coldly, “It’s enough to make us never want to go back.”

“Ugly?” Gu Qingshuang let out a low chuckle. “I happen to think you are wonderful.”

Ming Li: “…”

“Give me a chance, Ming Li,” Gu Qingshuang said.

…

In the end, Ming Li didn’t take the subway home.

Naturally, she didn’t take Gu Qingshuang’s car, either.

She hailed a taxi on the street and went straight to Zhu Hanxing’s place.

Zhu Hanxing had just finished a shower and was preparing to watch a movie with Mingyue. The curtains were drawn and the projector was on. When the doorbell rang, Zhu Hanxing went to open it and found Ming Li looking like she’d seen a ghost.

Zhu Hanxing was stunned. “What are you doing here?”

Ming Li said with a cold face, “Slap me.”

Zhu Hanxing: “?”

Zhu Hanxing: “Have you lost your mind?”

Ming Li slapped her own forehead. “I think I’m going a bit crazy.”

When Gu Qingshuang had said Give me a chance, let’s show each other our good sides, Ming Li’s heart had hammered uncontrollably. She had even caught herself mentally calculating the feasibility of such a plan.

Finally, she had barked a “Get lost” without looking back and practically fled.

Even now, sitting in Hanxing’s living room, her lips were still trembling. She finally understood what it felt like to have her heart and mind at odds. Fortunately, she still had some sanity left. But given the circumstances, she doubted it would last long, so she had come to find Zhu Hanxing.

Zhu Hanxing skipped the movie, but she got to hear a story far more exciting than any film. Halfway through, she chewed on a piece of dried mango and said, “So, your suitor and your ex-wife almost threw down at the subway station?”

Ming Li: “…Use a different word.”

“Fine,” Zhu Hanxing said. “So your ex doesn’t like Shen Lideng anymore?”

Ming Li: “…I don’t know.”

Zhu Hanxing asked, “So what are you thinking? Do you want to get back together?”

Ming Li blurted out instantly, “Of course not.”

“Then why don’t you try things out with your neighbor?” Zhu Hanxing suggested. “Your problem is that you’ve never had a normal relationship.”

Ming Li: “…”

Zhu Hanxing handed her a can of beer and said bluntly, “Being with someone like Gu Qingshuang has given you a twisted view of romance. Plus, you spent three years brainwashing yourself; you definitely have some residual feelings for her. If you want to pull yourself out of that, just find someone else to like. I think your neighbor is a good choice.”

Ming Li instinctively moved to refuse, but Zhu Hanxing cut her off. “You have to date around to figure out who’s right for you. You can’t just hang yourself on one tree forever.”

Ming Li countered, “Then why are you still hanging onto the Chun Liuyi tree?”

Zhu Hanxing choked. “…That’s an exception.”