Chapter 56: What Do You Want to Exchange from Me This Time? Part 2

When Mu Shanyi dropped work to bring sweet congee and accompany her in the hospital; when Mu Shanyi waited hours in the theater parking lot to pick her up after work; when Mu Shanyi, woken at 3 a.m. by a call, told her “You can contact me anytime”; when Mu Shanyi held her hand and told her not to get hurt on the bike; even when they were doing the most intimate things, Mu Shanyi still whispered “I miss you”… No need to recall carefully; countless moments flooded her mind automatically.

“But I turned a blind eye, even using the ‘Xiao Huis’ to prove Mu Shanyi’s feelings were fake, treating her endurance and struggle as lack of true heart. I preferred to believe she didn’t care about me, imagining her as both amorous and heartless—so I could keep using her guilt-free for my purposes.”

Even after being used and hurt, Mu Shanyi had parted from her gracefully, without even needing her apology.

Helping her leave the Miao family was Mu Shanyi’s final gift to her.

Miao Zhu’s throat tightened, her voice breaking several times. “Everything I wanted, as long as she could give it, she did. But I trampled her true heart, left her with a mess, and walked away. Emma, what have I betrayed? I’m not worthy of her liking at all!”

“Don’t be scared, Mia, don’t be afraid.” Emma’s heart ached more as she listened, tears plopping down; she cried louder than Miao Zhu. “Please, Mia, don’t blame yourself, don’t hate and give up on yourself… I get that you feel guilty, but… but before we love others well, we have to love ourselves first! You were stuck in the mire yourself back then—how could you have the ability to love? Right, right, you had your reasons. What’s wrong with wanting to live well?”

Miao Zhu let out a long sob. This was one reason she couldn’t forgive herself—looking back now, even if she could do it over, she might still hurt Mu Shanyi.

She couldn’t even say “I regret doing this.”

For a moment, the line carried only sobs. Miao Zhu cried for a long time; after the outburst, her emotions gradually stabilized. She said to Emma, “Why are you crying along with me again?”

Emma sniffled. “You think I want to? Just thinking of Mu Shanyi makes me feel she’s so pitiful. I even resented her before—now I want to rush to her and apologize! But some people ache for her this much yet don’t go comfort her—not only that, they want to run away!”

Confessing to Mu Shanyi and striving to win her back was the only way to avoid regrets in this relationship—Miao Zhu knew that full well.

It was just…

“She knows what you want, but do you know what she wants? You didn’t even ask before sentencing yourself to death. Where are you unworthy of her love?” Emma kept trying to persuade her.

But Miao Zhu asked Emma, “Can I really still try to win her back?”

After venting her emotions, what Mia needed was support and encouragement. Emma was always better at egging people on than consoling them. “Of course! What’s there to fear? The worst outcome is just like now! And she’s loved you so arduously—can you bear for her to never know your feelings? Mia! Be bold! Tell her how much you ache for her, tell her you love her too!”

Hearing the answer she wanted, Miao Zhu slowly murmured “Mm.”

Half a year ago, Mu Shanyi had given the choice to her. This time, she would return the choice to Mu Shanyi.

【Mia: Happy birthday, Sister A-Heng! I didn’t prepare a gift last time—convenient to meet today?】

【[Heart]: Appreciated, no need to be polite】

Miao Zhu had held off messaging Mu Shanyi until her birthday, hoping to use it as an opportunity to meet, but staring at Mu Shanyi’s reply, she was dumbfounded.

She suddenly remembered Lu Zheng mentioning Mu Shanyi had plans on her birthday.

Miao Zhu shared this bad news with Emma.

【Mia: She seems to have other plans today, inconvenient to meet】

【Emma: Try again—what’s a little setback!】

Miao Zhu clutched her phone and persisted.

【Mia: Sister A-Heng, won’t take much of your time. When are you back at Tower Shadow Sunny River? Can I come find you there?】

Seconds later.

【Mia: Cute kitten spinning.gif】

Miao Zhu waited anxiously for Mu Shanyi’s permission to meet, but after refreshing many times, logging out and in, she got no response. Instead, Jiang Jingjing’s video call popped up.

Jiang Jingjing had started a group video. Tao Anhe, still hospitalized, was shocked to learn of Miao Zhu’s ankle fracture. “Teacher Miao Zhu! How did you get hurt too?”

She blurted, “I’ve seen this episode in Final Destination!”

Wu Yueran silently reached out and covered Tao Anhe’s mouth.

Jiang Jingjing: “Pah! Childish words without taboo!”

Miao Zhu took it to heart. She turned the video into a floating window, notified Emma she had a plan! Then typed in her chat with Mu Shanyi.

【Mia: Sorry Sister A-Heng, I probably can’t make it. Ankle suddenly hurts a lot】

The video lasted nearly half an hour, but the chat still only had Miao Zhu talking to herself.

Tao Anhe needed rest and left the video first. Jiang Jingjing leaned close to the lens, concerned. “Why so preoccupied?”

Miao Zhu said, “Waiting for her message.”