Chapter 93
Su Guan was stunned, as if she understood Gu Yixi, and as if she didn’t.
She doesn’t like you. I like you.
Obviously, this “she” was Gu Qing.
Why would Gu Yixi say this to her?
The two of them were not far apart, the distance just right.
The shimmering sunlight fell on the flower branches and treetops, and the pink and white petals trembled and fell from the branches, twirling in the air, and then pressed against Gu Yixi’s soft, fair skin.
Her eyes were still bright, shining with a faint light.
Su Guan’s throat was tight. “What do you mean?”
Gu Yixi lifted her gaze, a light smile on her lips, but she didn’t say anything, just raised her hand and pinched Su Guan.
Su Guan wanted to move her hand away but was held back. She looked up, met her gaze, and Gu Yixi’s eyes were full of relief—it was a look that wanted to put Su Guan at ease.
Her palm gently squeezed Su Guan’s wrist. Gu Yixi’s face was calm and smiling. She led Su Guan’s hand and slowly caressed her own chest.
Blushing, heart pounding, breathing ragged.
This was Su Guan’s physiological reaction. The stronger her reaction, the more it contrasted with the steadiness of Gu Yixi’s heartbeat.
“Do you feel it?” Gu Yixi said slowly. “My heartbeat.”
She added, “My honest heartbeat.”
Su Guan was silent for a moment, then she muttered, “It’s honest, but your heartbeat is very calm.”
“Very calm, yes. Isn’t it honest?”
Her previously fair face was stained with a faint blush, and her voice also softened.
“She doesn’t like you. I like you,” she repeated this sentence, with a certain kind of declaration.
When Gu Yixi said this, her heartbeat was still honestly beating, pounding.
“Do you want to know the reason?” she still held her hand and asked in a low voice. “You want to know… why I like you, right?”
Su Guan was stunned. For a moment, her hand was almost limp, and a series of images flashed before her eyes like a revolving lantern.
It was a dream.
Su Guan was more courageous in her dreams. She could more bravely ask Gu Yixi this reason.
But she had never asked, but had buried this question deep in her heart.
Until this question was brought up by Gu Yixi.
She held her hand, caressed her heart, and asked her to confirm, again and again, her honest heartbeat.
So, what was the reason?
“Let’s go back first,” Gu Yixi said.
…
Gu Yixi had called Ning Yi to be the driver when she came today.
The car was silent, and neither of them said a word.
Although it was silent, their hands were tightly clasped.
What was it? Su Guan looked at Gu Yixi’s profile in the dim light.
Her almond-shaped eyes, with their upturned outer corners, were still shining with a faint light.
What was she thinking? What was she going to say to her next?
An honest heartbeat, what kind of honest words would it say?
A desire suddenly rose in Su Guan’s heart. She wanted to know, but she was also afraid to know.
Although the system was gone, it had gone to report to the Transmigration Bureau, leaving Su Guan here, but the problem was not solved.
The system had asked Su Guan if she knew what Gu Yixi’s intentions were—she was not the female lead Omega in the original book. To be so good to her, she must have some other agenda.
Yes, Su Guan also thought that Gu Yixi had some other agenda.
But after so long, she still hadn’t figured out what Gu Yixi’s other agenda was.
Her family background? Not really.
Many words flashed through Su Guan’s mind, but she couldn’t confirm any of them.
It seemed that Gu Yixi didn’t need any of them.
She gazed at her eyes, her gaze moving down, and she could vaguely see the faint red gland behind her hair.
Oh right, Su Guan thought. This Omega, Gu Yixi, had a special illness, and she was her only cure.
Was that the reason? It should be.
Besides that, Su Guan couldn’t think of any other reason.
But from the looks of Gu Yixi, she seemed to have other reasons.
Liking her, liking Su Guan, a reason that was only about her.
…
After the two of them got home, Gu Yixi told Su Guan to follow her. “Come with me.”
Su Guan: “Where are we going?”
Gu Yixi stopped and turned her head. “We’re still at my place.”
It seemed she had misunderstood.
The sound of their footsteps echoed in the corridor.
Gu Yixi walked to a door, her hand on the doorknob. She turned her head to glance at Su Guan, a smile in her eyes.
Su Guan didn’t understand what she meant and said, “Is it in here?”
Although Gu Yixi lived alone, and the house was not very big, there were still a few places Su Guan had never been.
For example, the room she and Gu Yixi were now standing in front of.
“That’s right, it’s in here,” Gu Yixi turned her head, twisted the doorknob, and then said, “What you want to know is in here.”
“But it’s only a part of it,” Gu Yixi added, without waiting for Su Guan to reply.
Su Guan was at a loss, not quite sure what Gu Yixi meant.
Until the doorknob was twisted.
There was no scene of being blinded by dazzling lights as she had imagined, nor were there the dazzling array of medicines in the Su family’s storage room—Su Yaying and Fang Jinyue had later reconciled, and they had also taken Su Guan to see that place.
The moment she entered, the dazzling light had made Su Guan feel a lingering fear. Seeing Gu Yixi’s mysterious look just now, Su Guan had almost thought that she was also hiding something at home.
But what she saw was not like that.
In the world behind the door, the light was not bright and brilliant, but yellow, like an old incandescent lamp. If you calmed down, you could almost hear the crackling sound of explosions.
Listening more closely, Su Guan could almost hear the sound of waves—but this sound clearly did not belong to where they lived.
The cabinet on the side had mottled patterns, and the glass covering it was also covered with a little dust. In the dim yellow light, you could almost see that there were still bowls inside.
For a moment, Su Guan felt that the scene before her was very familiar: but this familiarity was not what she had seen.
Ever since she had come to this world, she had definitely not been to such a place. But she felt familiar with it now, which could only mean one thing:
The original host remembered this place.
And the scene and the sound before her, the only thing Su Guan was familiar with was the repeated sound of waves.
Looking further ahead, it was a worn-out glass, with mottled marks: although there was nothing behind the “glass window,” in the surrounding sound of waves, Su Guan would also feel that in front of it was a vast, turbulent sea.
That’s right.
Gu Yixi knew who the original host was.
At that time, she was living with her adoptive mothers by the sea, and it just so happened that Su Guan and Fang Jinyue had been “exiled,” and the two had met.
“Well, did you hear these sounds?” Gu Yixi’s voice interrupted Su Guan’s thoughts, a smile still on her lips. She told her to look at the light.
A low-hanging incandescent lamp, with a faint yellow glow.
Su Guan felt it was very familiar.
The original host had seen this scene before. She closed her eyes, and the dusty memories came flooding back. Su Guan seemed to have seen everything.
At that time, Gu Yixi was still called Runrun, and she was just a small resident by the sea. She had met the far-away Fang Jinyue and her daughter.
Su Yaying had had a big problem with this mother and daughter pair at that time. When she had punished them by sending them away from home, she had not even allowed Su Guan to use her own surname.
With no other choice, Su Guan had taken her mom’s surname as an alias and had even split her name, calling herself “Youjian.”
In other words, at that time, Fang Youjian was one of Runrun’s few good friends, a memorable friend.
When Su Guan realized this, her heart was in a panic.
Gu Yixi’s gaze was still lingering on the light bulb. This was a long-standing, unforgettable memory for her.
As expected, Gu Yixi was still reminiscing, Su Guan thought to herself, her chest heaving more and more violently.
No wonder Gu Yixi had always been interested in her—it wasn’t that she had some other agenda, but that it was a long-lost reunion, right?
But she was not the original host, although everyone now treated Su Guan as the original host.
Her mother, her mom, her friends, her colleagues…
Actually, Su Guan didn’t care how these people saw her, or if they knew her identity had changed. The only one she cared about was Gu Yixi.
At this thought, Su Guan swallowed again.
Should she tell Gu Yixi? Tell Runrun that she was not her little friend with the surname Fang.
She was just a despicable person who had occupied someone else’s body, enjoying the original host’s status, everything, and others’ love and hate…
Actually, these were still not important to Su Guan.
She only cared about Gu Yixi’s love for her, and she was also greedy for this warmth.
“This is the place where I lived when I was a child. I still miss it very much. But my grandmother won’t let me go back, so when I moved out on my own, I left a room and made it look like it did back then.”
As Gu Yixi spoke, the sound of waves was still flowing as a background music.
It turned out to be her precious memory, and a person she had always remembered.
No wonder it was like this.
In an instant, Su Guan felt that all the doubts in her heart had been explained.
Compared to solving a special physiological need, a person would more or less still have feelings—the original host and Gu Yixi had known each other before, and they were very good friends. This was the reason why Gu Yixi liked “Su Guan.”
Up to now, Gu Yixi had been very good to Su Guan, so good that it would make people have questions.
Su Guan’s questions had been answered, so she didn’t want to pursue the matter anymore.
At this moment, she desperately hoped that she was “Su Guan,” regardless of everything the original host had, and only about the person in front of her.
Just because of Gu Yixi.
She didn’t want to lose her.
“When you were a child…” Su Guan began to speak, trying her best to suppress the tremor at the end of her sentence.
Gu Yixi, with a rare serious expression, interrupted Su Guan. “Yes, when I was a child.”
Su Guan was stunned, not understanding the meaning of her sudden interruption.
“I’m very attached to this home from my childhood, the feeling of living with everyone,” Gu Yixi said, and then she suddenly beckoned for Su Guan to come over.
Su Guan obediently walked over.
Gu Yixi had, at some point, taken out a yellowed photo.
The background was a boundless sea, and the people looked like two children.
The memories in Su Guan’s mind became active.
This was a photo taken by the original host and Runrun, and it was her mom, Fang Jinyue, who had helped them take it.
Su Guan swallowed, and the desire to possess grew stronger.
She was already in this body. Whether it was her relatives or friends, everyone knew she was “Su Guan.” She was Su Guan, without a doubt.
“Look, this person is me,” Gu Yixi pointed at the little girl on the left. “At that time, I didn’t know anything. I just smiled foolishly by the sea every day.”
“Ah, so cute,” Su Guan said, but her eyes were fixed on the girl on the right.
When the long, slender fingers slid over the old photo, Su Guan admitted that her heart was pounding even more restlessly, so nervous that it was about to jump out.
“As for her…” Gu Yixi said gently, in a nostalgic tone, “she was a playmate I got along with quite well when I was a child. They all said she came from a big city—that’s here, Jiangbei.”
Su Guan’s heart was still pounding.
What was Gu Yixi going to say next? Was she going to say that she had gone through a lot of hardships to return to the Gu family, and in the end, she had found her own cure, and had also found that her old friend was her?
Or, was she going to wait for Su Guan to “admit” it herself?
The balance in her heart began to tilt. Su Guan herself was not sure.
She waited quietly.
“Later, I returned to the Gu family. On the way, I was schemed against and was harmed by low-quality medicine, so I fell ill and have never been cured.”
“You’ve seen that doctor, Doctor Yang. She has always been my private physician and has made many plans for me, but they have always been a temporary solution. As for a suitable alpha, I have never found one.”
Hearing this, Su Guan was suddenly stunned.
What did Gu Yixi mean by that? A suitable alpha, had she never found one?
But wasn’t her and Gu Yixi’s compatibility very high?
“My background has been repeatedly questioned. After all, I’m the daughter of the actress Gu who was left outside—and I was even abducted in the middle. Who knows if it’s true? But my grandmother was very good to me. She brought me back and raised me, and she silenced all the gossip. But the root of the illness has always been there. There’s no way, no treatment plan, no alpha, and I’m surrounded by strong enemies, with internal and external troubles. It seems there’s only one ending waiting for me.”
Su Guan was stunned.
She was only half-familiar with what Gu Yixi was saying, as if she were narrating a life with unfulfilled ambitions.
But, it was indeed her life. But it wasn’t what Gu Yixi was experiencing now, right?
Su Guan had a guess in her heart and suppressed her thoughts.
“The only ending waiting for me was indeed that one, but fortunately, at the end of my life, I knew that the person who was wholeheartedly in love with my niece… was a kind of cure,” Gu Yixi turned her head, a smile on her lips, and stared at Su Guan.
“A suitable alpha, it’s fine to use, but I’m not willing, because I have a thing for emotional purity,” Gu Yixi’s tone was lazy. “In this life, I had originally managed to persuade myself… career first.”
She was explaining the reason why she had been with Su Guan at the beginning.
Su Guan held her breath.
Gu Yixi muttered to herself, “On one hand, I had a guilty thought, and on the other, I comforted myself that this was all for revenge. But, Su Guan, do you know?”
Su Guan shook her head.
“You don’t know the joy and surprise in my heart when I found out… you weren’t her.”
Su Guan was stunned, and she suddenly felt that the mottled walls and the sound of the rising and falling waves before her were beginning to fall apart.
“Yes, I’m very contradictory. I would be sad because ‘she’ had once liked someone else,” Gu Yixi said with a self-deprecating smile. “So, do you know where my joy came from?”
Su Guan’s eyes were a little wet. “…Ah.”
So, was this the reason Gu Yixi had given her?
“You asked me for a reason when you were dreaming in your sleep,” Gu Yixi said to herself, then she suddenly turned her eyes and looked at Su Guan sincerely.
Su Guan asked on a whim, “…And then? Did you answer?”
“I did,” Gu Yixi said.
Just like a butterfly can’t fly across the sea, no one can bear to blame.
Su Guan was at a loss. She could only get doting from this sentence.
“This is the reason,” Gu Yixi smiled again. “Perhaps it doesn’t sound like a reason.”
Su Guan was stunned.
“You can just explain it as an instinct, my instinct, Gu Yixi’s instinct. If you have to find a reason, then the instinct of an omega to like and be attached to an alpha is also fine,” Gu Yixi continued. “It’s fine as long as these can convince you.”
“For me, it’s not necessary,” she looked into Su Guan’s eyes and, enunciating each word, said this string of words very seriously.
Su Guan was stunned.
She understood the look in Gu Yixi’s eyes, and she also understood her meaning.
She loved her, and she didn’t need a reason.
Because she was worthy of being loved.
“You don’t need to be torn up over those things. We still have a long, long future ahead of us,” Gu Yixi said with a smile, suddenly holding Su Guan’s hand, and tightening, tightening her grip.