Chapter 34: “Then Let Go” “I Won’t!” Part 4

But human emotional limits exist, especially for a teenage girl, hormones magnifying the once-normal into sensitivity.

Just as Ren Dongliu neared breakdown from Wen Yang’s “spasmodic, convulsive love,” Ren Beng was released.

Ren Dongliu didn’t know if this was fate mocking her again.

The once-dominant grandmother suddenly let go—she was sent to live with Ren Beng.

Saved from collapse, only to fall into another unspoken trap.

They’d had no contact for seventeen years.

Under that transparent prison window, one inside, one out.

—No more suffocating love, just strangeness and silence.

But Ren Dongliu applied the “middle rule” again. Illogical, but self-consistent, she stood firm.

—She could breathe now, couldn’t she?

…

Now, after memorizing English words and doing two math papers, Ren Dongliu tidied her desk and went out.

“…Mom…”

Ren Dongliu stood straight and proper between the living room and hallway, perfectly polite.

Ren Beng held the freshly washed mop, about to clean the floor. Hearing “Mom,” she froze. Compared to Ren Dongliu’s poise, she seemed awkward and cramped, yet a hard-to-hide joy shone through.

“What’s up?” She gripped the mop in one hand, wiped the other on her clothes.

“I finished my papers. I’m heading out soon—like I mentioned yesterday. You agreed.”

They had gone to Wen Yang’s place the day before, and on the way back, Ren Dongliu mentioned to Ren Beng that she had plans to hang out with a classmate the next day.

Ren Dongliu had never really had any friends, so when she suddenly got invited to go out, Ren Beng was naturally thrilled and agreed immediately.

“Mom hasn’t forgotten. Go ahead.”

“I might not make it back for lunch. If I can’t, I’ll call you ahead of time.” After Ren Dongliu finished speaking, she turned to leave but suddenly remembered something and looked back to add, “Thanks.”

“…No need to thank me…”

In truth, Ren Beng had wanted to say there was nothing to thank her for, but the words caught in her throat, and she couldn’t get them out.

Once Ren Dongliu returned to the bedroom and closed the door, Ren Beng suddenly felt as if all her strength had drained away. She leaned against the armrest of the sofa, her gaze vacant… staring at nothing in particular, just like the ill-fitting gray hoodie on her body—empty and lifeless.

In the bedroom, Ren Dongliu pulled out the water-blue skirt she rarely wore. It was the one her little aunt Ren Yu had bought her last month—or rather, every skirt she had ever owned from childhood had been bought by Ren Yu.

Her grandmother thought she was too pretty and that skirts would draw too much attention, so she never let her wear them. All the clothes she bought were in monotonous shades of black, gray, and white, or else she just wore her school uniform. Wen Yang’s philosophy was simple: if you couldn’t change something innate, suppress it postnatally—those dull, lifeless colors would let Ren Dongliu blend into the crowd.

But Ren Yu was different. She never bought into her mother’s theories and didn’t believe a girl’s beauty was some kind of sin. She and Wen Yang had argued about it countless times, but the old woman’s stubbornness couldn’t be swayed by quarrels or persuasion. Eventually, Ren Yu stopped arguing altogether. Whenever she saw a pretty skirt, she bought it on the spot for Ren Dongliu.

Ren Dongliu slipped into the skirt and looked at herself in the mirror, but her mind replayed the words Ren Yu had shouted during one of those arguments with her grandmother—

“My sister is my sister, Dongliu is Dongliu!”

“All these sins were made by adults. Now you’re piling all the pressure on her head—are you trying to drive her insane?!”

Ren Dongliu spun around, bent down to open the drawer by the bed, and took out the three-pronged black hairpin adorned with two jade beads in the middle—one bright yellow, the other cat’s-eye green.

She didn’t just tie her hair into a casual ponytail like she did for school. Instead, she smoothed it all back, divided it into three strands, and secured it at the nape of her neck with the hairpin.

Her long hair cascaded down to her waist, paired with the water-blue dress, creating the soft, enchanting beauty of a teenage girl—so radiant even the sun would hide from it.

Before long, Xiang Yu arrived downstairs and stood by the curb, sending Ren Dongliu a message on her phone—

“I’m here. Come on out.”

Her palms were hot and sweaty, her eyes fixed eagerly on the building entrance, her heart pounding with nerves.

After two or three minutes with no sign of Ren Dongliu, Xiang Yu received her reply—

“Sorry…”

Seeing those four words made Xiang Yu’s heart sink. Had something come up and she couldn’t make it?

Just as Xiang Yu felt a wave of disappointment and was about to text back ‘No worries, next time works,’ another message came through—

“Can I bring one more person? My little sister says… she wants to come too…”

Without a second thought, Xiang Yu fired back—

“Sure!”

One more? She could’ve brought ten!

It turned out that just ten minutes earlier, Ren Dongliu had been ready to head out when Nan Jia showed up. The little imp, ever the sly one, saw how prettily she was dressed—not just in a skirt, but with her hair down and pinned with a hairpin—and immediately dragged her back from the door.

Nan Jia assumed she was going on a date with a boy. After endless wheedling, Ren Dongliu had no choice but to tell her it was to watch a movie with Xiang Yu.

But Nan Jia’s reaction was even bigger. She clung to her and refused to let go, insisting on coming along.

It was supposed to be just the two of them, so Ren Dongliu wasn’t sure if Xiang Yu would mind bringing her sister. She sent the message first to check.

Now that Xiang Yu had agreed, she finally brought Nan Jia out the door.

From the dim entrance of the building, Ren Dongliu emerged first.

The moment Xiang Yu saw her, her eyes went wide—

She was wearing a skirt… water-blue.

Her hair draped over her shoulders, the two jade beads on the hairpin at the back of her head sparkling translucently.

The eleven o’clock sunlight bathed Ren Dongliu in a brilliant glow, her beauty beyond any words.

Was it because she was coming to the movies with me that she dressed up specially?

Xiang Yu’s fluttering heart surged with excitement, but before she could ask, Nan Jia popped out from behind Ren Dongliu.

She was also wearing a skirt—a water-blue dress just like Ren Dongliu’s—with her hair down and pinned the same way at the nape.

One second, Xiang Yu thought Ren Dongliu had dressed up for their date; the next, she retracted her stunned gaze and lowered her head in disappointment—it was all in her head.

“Let’s go,” Ren Dongliu said calmly.

“Okay.” Xiang Yu responded.

Xiang Yu trailed behind Ren Dongliu and Nan Jia, watching the sisters link arms affectionately.

She glanced at her own empty hand dangling by her side, scratched along her pant leg, then shoved it into her pocket.

“Sis, why did she invite you to the movies?” Nan Jia tilted her head and whispered in Ren Sanliu’s ear.

“…”

“Sis, I think she’s up to no good.”

“You’ve gotta be careful not to fall for her tricks.”

Fall for tricks?

Ren Dongliu quietly drew in a breath—

Does falling in love count as falling for tricks?

At the movie theater, Xiang Yu’s original plans were completely upended. The romance film became a hot-blooded anime, the couple’s seating turned into regular seats, and the liftable armrests between the three linked chairs became pointless.

Nan Jia clutched her popcorn and soda, wedging herself right between Ren Dongliu and Xiang Yu without a second thought. The moment the theater lights went out, Xiang Yu felt like a galaxy separated her from Ren Dongliu.

She had been too greedy. Ren Dongliu agreeing to come out with her was already great—did she really have to feel this disappointed just because they weren’t sitting together?

Xiang Yu forced herself to be content.

She thought that dating someone of the same sex should be different from dating the opposite sex anyway.

Don’t always think about holding hands, don’t always crave alone time, don’t obsess over those messy thoughts.

Xiang Yu piled on excuses to restrain herself, but they did little good. She didn’t even need to turn her head to see Ren Dongliu’s face two seats over on the side. All that restraint was just fooling herself—inviting her out to a movie was clearly to get close to her.

Xiang Yu didn’t take in a single second of the film.

Toward the end, she finally couldn’t take the torment anymore and quietly slipped out of her seat.

“What are you doing?” Nan Jia’s popcorn was sickeningly sweet; she was nearly through the bucket. She eyed Xiang Yu suspiciously.

“Going to the bathroom.”

“Go that way.”

Nan Jia stuck her legs out, clearly blocking her from passing on Ren Dongliu’s side.

Truth be told, Xiang Yu couldn’t figure out why the kid was so guarded against her—like “bad guy” was tattooed on her forehead.

But then she thought, sneaking around in a relationship with her sister wasn’t exactly honorable.

Xiang Yu hunched over and squeezed out through the narrow aisle until the end of the row, then straightened up.

Ren Dongliu’s gaze had long since left the screen. The moment Xiang Yu stood, she watched her back until she exited the theater, then slowly turned away.

Less than half a minute passed.

Ren Dongliu patted Nan Jia’s arm—

“Wanna go to the bathroom? It’ll get crowded soon.”

“Nah, I’m good…” Nan Jia was engrossed and waved her off without looking back.

“Then I’m going.”

With that, Ren Dongliu also hunched over and left the theater.

The moment she pushed open the door, she bumped right into Xiang Yu.

Xiang Yu looked at her—

“Why’d you come out?”

“Bathroom,” Ren Dongliu said.

“I’ll show you.”

The movie wasn’t over yet, and the restrooms were off in a corner; they didn’t run into anyone on the way.

Xiang Yu walked with her head down, her dangling hand fidgeting nonstop with her pant seam.

Ren Dongliu was right beside her, their shoulders nearly brushing—not too close, not too far. If Xiang Yu hadn’t been obsessed with her pant seam and just swung her arm normally, it would’ve touched Ren Dongliu’s hand hanging by her side.

They walked a few steps in silence, but Ren Dongliu slowed noticeably. She lowered her eyes to Xiang Yu’s fidgeting hand, and suddenly… her heart pounded fiercely in her chest.

Right then, she made a bold decision.

She raised her arm, her slender fingers rubbing lightly together before slowly extending. In the air, she curled and uncurled them, then reached out—she touched Xiang Yu’s wrist, her fingers sliding down along the protruding radius bone… into Xiang Yu’s loosely cupped palm…

Xiang Yu stopped dead and gripped the intruding fingers.

But Ren Dongliu twisted shyly… wriggling her fingers within Xiang Yu’s firm grasp, in that palm slick with thin sweat—timid and careful, yet resolute and composed… interlacing them into Xiang Yu’s finger gaps, ten fingers interlocking tightly.

Neither moved toward the bathroom anymore.

They stood at the corner turn in the hallway.

Xiang Yu felt her stomach spasm. She looked down at their clasped hands and tightened her grip for no reason—

“Is this okay?”

“Then let go.”

“I won’t.”