The doctor’s words echoed in her ears, and Cheng Zhanya suddenly fell silent.
Nine weeks—over two months already.
By her calculations, it must have been conceived on her birthday. That had been her last intimate moment with Lin Hanbing.
Nausea and constant fatigue—such glaring symptoms.
But it was still so tiny, with no fetal movement yet. She couldn’t sense the child’s presence at all.
She was divorced now, and discovering she was carrying her ex-wife’s child at a time like this—what did that make her? What did this child even mean?
Should she remarry Lin Hanbing?
Cheng Zhanya dismissed the thought immediately.
Her life had only just begun to change. She had a job now, new friends, and a fresh script in hand.
She was content with her current life.
The courage to start over had been spent the moment she decided to divorce Lin Hanbing.
If this child forced her to upend everything again, she might truly lose her mind.
So she chose to ignore it deliberately.
Even with the dizziness that never let up, the sleep that was never enough, and the constant stomach discomfort, she kept ignoring it. She figured it would pass in time, and she’d return to normal soon enough.
Then, buried in work on new projects, she finally had no time to dwell.
She was cruel. Her thoughts were extreme.
In other words, she was stubborn as a mule.
She knew full well what was causing it, but she pressed on regardless. If not for the bleeding the night before, she never would have come to the hospital.
Remove it? Or have it?
She had no answer.
In that moment, she felt like a rabbit trapped in a cage—small and powerless, with no way to escape.
Her eyes lowered, her fingertips trembled faintly, and panic churned inside her.
She didn’t even have anyone to turn to for advice.
The doctor was a middle-aged woman with frameless glasses perched on her nose. She exuded an air of intellect and gentleness, her eye crinkles deep from years of smiling.
In her years as a doctor, she’d seen it all: the distress of unexpected pregnancies, the long-awaited joy of others. But Cheng Zhanya’s expression was rare—a painful tangle of reluctance and resignation.
“Sister, aren’t you happy about being pregnant?”
Cheng Zhanya shook her head.
Had it happened before the divorce, the child would have been welcomed and adored by everyone. But no—it came after, and from the start, she hadn’t treated it right.
Through all the turmoil of the past months, it had stubbornly clung to life inside her.
A sudden ache tugged at her heart. She asked softly, “Is… is the baby healthy?”
The doctor adjusted her glasses. “It’s a little malnourished.”
“Is this your first? The first three months are always risky. Early pregnancy can affect the embryo. If you want to keep it, I recommend you start resting properly tomorrow—no overworking. Eat plenty of fruit, have good meals, and steer clear of cold foods.”
“Things like fresh shrimp or crab, and no smoking or drinking…”
“Can I get rid of it?”
The voice, heavy with helplessness and pain, filled the small consultation room. Cheng Zhanya kept her head down, her face lost in shadow.
She rested her hand on her abdomen, her fingertips tracing lightly over it as her eyes grew damp and her gaze reddened.
That flat expanse was nurturing a tiny life.
Before long, with no surprises, the baby would grow day by day inside her. In just a few more months, it would enter the world with its first cries.
But she didn’t deserve to be a mother.
She didn’t deserve this child.
“Get rid of it?”
“Your baby is past eight weeks. I don’t recommend an abortion.” The doctor studied Cheng Zhanya. “Unexpected pregnancy?”
Cheng Zhanya nodded.
“Does your partner agree?”
“We got divorced.”
No one had been waiting for this child. And she’d done so many things to harm it, even after knowing it was there.
“…”
It was a hard choice, no doubt.
As a single mother, her concerns went beyond just giving birth—they extended to everything that came after.
“Why don’t you go home for now? Talk it over with friends or family. There’s no rush to decide.”
A doctor’s compassion stirred in her; she couldn’t help feeling pity.
After all, it was a living being.
The embryo already had the beginnings of a human form. In a little more time, it would be fully shaped. She shouldn’t meddle, but she hated the thought of her patient regretting a rash decision for the rest of her life.
Of course, once the patient made up her mind, she would remove the embryo.
“I’ve made my decision.”
Cheng Zhanya pressed her lips together tightly, as if in final farewell to the child, then withdrew her hand from her abdomen.
“Abortion can do serious damage to a woman’s body—possibly even cause lifelong infertility.” The doctor paused before scrawling a few notes on the form. “Are you sure?”
Lifelong infertility?
Cheng Zhanya froze.
A moment later, she lowered her head with a bitter laugh.
She was killing her own child with her own hands. How could she ever have another? She didn’t deserve it. She had no right.
Her heart felt like it had a gaping hole torn in it.
The storm winds howled through, leaving it heavy yet utterly empty.
“The procedure requires a family member’s signature. Do you have a friend who can sign for you?”
Cheng Zhanya hesitated. “Can’t I sign for myself?”
The doctor shook her head.
Cheng Zhanya bowed her head, suddenly at a loss.
Who could she ask?
Lin Hanbing?
As the child’s other mother, she had that duty.
But then she remembered that night—how Lin Hanbing had desperately pushed back against the idea of having kids.
Lin Hanbing didn’t like children.
The memory lingered sharp.
In any case, the child was going away. There was no need to tell her.
The surgery couldn’t go forward smoothly. Cheng Zhanya left the hospital.
She made her way home, her mind weighed down, and curled up in bed. She wrapped herself tightly in the covers.
It was the height of summer, the midday heat at its peak.
She sweated through her clothes, her breathing labored. Finally, she poked her head out from under the blankets and drew in a deep breath.
After the avoidance came the facing of reality.
Her black hair was a mess, a few strands clinging to her cheek.
She sat up and, after a moment, slowly looked down at her flat abdomen. Her fingertip brushed it lightly before pulling away fast.
She couldn’t let herself linger. She might grow too attached.
Her stomach twisted with acid.
Not quite nausea—just hunger.
She hadn’t eaten anything that morning for the checkup. Her empty belly ached.
She climbed out of bed, intending to whip up some instant noodles to tide her over.
Fan Yaobai wasn’t home. The house was perfectly quiet. As Cheng Zhanya emerged, Fan Jiujiu trotted over and rubbed against her legs, meowing twice in a coquettish plea for attention.
She crouched down and stroked its fur.
A clatter sounded at the entryway. Fan Yaobai called out to Fan Jiujiu as she came inside.
Spotting Cheng Zhanya at home, Fan Yaobai lifted her brows in mild surprise.
Since the divorce, Cheng Zhanya had opened up more—likely thanks to new friends. She went out a lot more than before.
It was a good start. Her best friend hadn’t fallen into a slump.
“Not heading out today?”
Fan Yaobai sank onto the sofa and scooped up Fan Jiujiu for a big smooch on its belly.
Cheng Zhanya glanced at Fan Yaobai and murmured a soft “mm,” then asked, “Have you eaten?”
“Not yet. What are you making?”
“Noodles. Want some?”
“Too bland. I want hotpot.”
“Well…”
“Let’s go out.” Fan Yaobai cut in before she could finish.
In the blazing midday sun, the two of them dashed to the hotpot spot just outside the complex and ordered a spread of sides.
Fan Yaobai craved bold flavors, tossing most of the dishes into the spicy red broth.
The soup bubbled furiously.
Blood-red and shocking to the eye.
“You’re not eating?” Fan Yaobai noticed her inaction and frowned in confusion.
Could you eat hotpot while pregnant?
The question flashed through Cheng Zhanya’s mind unbidden. She puzzled over why it had even occurred to her.
The child was destined to be gone anyway—what was the point of minding now? But it had been here for so long without a single kind treatment from her.
That was too pitiful.
If it could speak, would it accuse her of heartlessness? Cheng Zhanya’s heart clenched.
Even if she didn’t want it, she should treat it well until it was gone. It was her child, after all.
The hand resting under the table touched her lower belly, her mind silently repeating apologies.
“What are you thinking about? You’re so lost in it.” Getting no reply, Fan Yaobai grew more puzzled. “Ya’er?”
Cheng Zhanya snapped back. “Nothing. You go ahead and eat.”
She fished her phone from her bag and opened the browser, typing in a search.
The answer: yes, in moderation.
Just avoid anything too scalding or spicy to prevent irritating the digestive tract and harming the fetus.
Luckily, Fan Yaobai had ordered the mandarin duck pot.
Starving, Cheng Zhanya dropped her food into the clear broth side.
“Your tastes have gotten so mild?”
Fan Yaobai looked astonished. “Since when?”
Cheng Zhanya stayed calm. “Just now.”
“…”
Fan Yaobai was speechless.
“Hey, get this.” Fan Yaobai leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Didn’t I have that meeting today?”
“Guess who I ran into?”
Cheng Zhanya chewed steadily, interest low. “Who?”
“Liang Wenxuan.”
“She’s married now—to another woman.”
Fan Yaobai grinned teasingly. “Kinda your old rival, right?”
“She wasn’t.” Cheng Zhanya looked up with a gentle smile. “Hanbing didn’t like her.”
Cheng Zhanya paused.
Why did she sound so smug about it?
“I know, I know.” Fan Yaobai chuckled. “Eat up. Nap after.”
“You’re heartless. Not even letting me rest on the weekend.”
Cheng Zhanya let out a soft laugh and ate slowly, head down.
Pop music played in the hotpot shop. Lunch hour had wound down, leaving only a few scattered tables.
Her phone buzzed on the tabletop, vibrating along with the ring.
It was Lin Hanbing.
She couldn’t imagine what Lin Hanbing had to say that warranted a call.
After a moment’s hesitation, she answered.
“Yaya, can you do me a favor?”
Even through the line, Cheng Zhanya could hear the exhaustion in Lin Hanbing’s voice—hoarse, like she hadn’t rested in ages.
“What is it?” She doubted she could help with anything.
“Can you come to the city hospital?”
“Grandma’s been admitted. She wants to see you.”
Cheng Zhanya’s heart jolted. “What? Why so sudden?”
“Come first, okay? She’s just woken up and still weak.”
“Got it.” Cheng Zhanya agreed.
She pocketed her phone and turned to Fan Yaobai with an apologetic look. “Baibai, Grandma’s in the hospital. I have to go.”
Fan Yaobai said, “Her grandma’s sick—why’s that your problem?”
It sounded harsh, but it was logical.
Still, the old woman had always doted on her. Going over would at least bring her some peace of mind.
“I’m heading out.”
Cheng Zhanya grabbed her things. “I settled the bill. Take your time eating.”
Fan Yaobai nodded and reminded her to be careful.
Rushing to the hospital, Cheng Zhanya spotted Lin Hanbing in the hallway of the fifth-floor inpatient ward.
The woman wore only a white high-necked blouse, a black short skirt, and fine-heeled stilettos—a full professional ensemble. She sat there with her hands covering her face, seemingly deep in distress.
Cheng Zhanya walked over and stood before her, calling softly, “Hanbing.”
Lin Hanbing looked up, her eyes brimming with longing.
She traveled for work so often that being away from home for ten days or even half a month barely registered. But since the divorce, just a few days without seeing Cheng Zhanya felt like an eternity had passed.
How long had it been since they’d last seen each other?
She had gotten thinner.
Had she not been eating properly? Or was work keeping her too busy?
Lin Hanbing frowned, a pang of heartache stirring within her.
She said softly, “You’ve come.”
“Yeah. Where’s Grandma?”
“She just fell asleep again,” Lin Hanbing replied.
Cheng Zhanya gazed at her for a long moment before slowly sitting down. “How did Grandma end up in the hospital so suddenly?”
The last time they’d seen her, the Old Lady had still been so hale and hearty.
“She found out about our divorce.”
Cheng Zhanya looked mildly surprised. “You told her?”
“I did.”
Earlier that day, the Old Lady had invited them back to the Main Residence for dinner again. After the unpleasantness last time, Cheng Zhanya certainly wouldn’t go, and Lin Hanbing was tired of all the nagging about having children, so she had refused.
When they didn’t show up, the Old Lady kept at it over the phone, harping on about kids as usual.
Lin Hanbing was swamped with work, freshly divorced, and worn down by the family’s relentless pressure to start a family. In a moment of frustration, the truth about the divorce had slipped out.
The Old Lady had fainted on the spot from sheer anger and been rushed to the hospital.
There had been a faint clatter over the phone line, followed by Yu Shujing’s shocked cry and the frantic sound of footsteps.
Once the Old Lady was admitted, Yu Shujing had called to fill her in.
Lin Hanbing had hurried to the hospital, where the Old Lady had woken up demanding to see Cheng Zhanya.
That was why she had made the call.
Cheng Zhanya listened to the full story, a heaviness settling in her chest. “When Grandma wakes up, I’ll talk to her properly.”
“She’ll understand.”
