Chapter 72

Under the covers, everything was quiet.

Lin Hanbing was truly afraid that Cheng Zhanya might suffocate.

She tried to pull the blanket open a little, but Cheng Zhanya only tugged it tighter around herself.

Time seemed powerless against her. Lin Hanbing simply gathered both the blanket and Cheng Zhanya into her arms. Following the outline of her body, she found Cheng Zhanya’s head and gently stroked it.

She bore undeniable responsibility for Cheng Zhanya developing postpartum depression.

It was all her fault.

If only she had noticed her wife’s abnormality sooner, she could have prevented today’s events.

Lin Hanbing said nothing, her arms around Cheng Zhanya showing no sign of loosening.

There wasn’t much air under the blanket to begin with, and now with the embrace, Cheng Zhanya had even less oxygen. She felt so suffocated that she had no choice but to poke her head out.

She glanced at Lin Hanbing, then quickly looked away.

No doubt about it.

Lin Hanbing would come to despise her from now on.

Cheng Zhanya turned onto her side, breathing in big gulps from the aggrieved feeling.

Glancing down inadvertently, she noticed her slightly bulging belly, then sneaked another peek at Lin Hanbing’s perfect waistline.

Anxiety washed over her once more.

So why was the difference between them so vast?

She had only given birth to a child—how had everything changed so irreversibly?

Cheng Zhanya bit her lip, not realizing how hard she was pressing.

After her wife’s postpartum depression diagnosis, Lin Hanbing had been paying even closer attention to Cheng Zhanya’s condition than during pregnancy. She naturally caught the fleeting oddity on Cheng Zhanya’s face.

Following Cheng Zhanya’s gaze, Lin Hanbing’s eyes soon landed on her belly as well.

Cheng Zhanya hadn’t shown much until the Little One was six months along. She had been meticulous with her skincare routine, applying creams evenly to prevent stretch marks, so there were hardly any visible on her belly.

But after the baby was born, Cheng Zhanya’s stomach hadn’t fully gone down yet.

It was a little puffy.

Like a soft pooch.

Squishy, like a water balloon, but still springy to the touch. Lin Hanbing loved stroking it.

Sometimes, Lin Hanbing would caress her belly while teasing Cheng Zhanya.

Asking if there was another baby in there.

Cheng Zhanya would always blush furiously, pounding on her while shyly calling her a nonsense-spouter.

Two months had passed, and Cheng Zhanya’s belly was actually much flatter already. At this recovery rate, it would probably be back to its former flatness in another two months.

Lin Hanbing had assumed Cheng Zhanya had realized this.

She never expected postpartum depression—this was completely outside her expectations.

Lin Hanbing lowered her eyes, indulging in a brief moment of self-reproach before her mind quickly devised a countermeasure.

She took Cheng Zhanya’s hand, gently turning her face toward her own. She leaned down for a kiss, then pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. “There’s a new yoga studio near our house. I’m a bit interested.”

“Will you come with me, Yaya?”

They were so close that their breaths were audible, a warm breeze brushing lightly over her skin.

Cheng Zhanya froze. She stared at Lin Hanbing for a long moment before reacting.

She instinctively tried to pull away, but Lin Hanbing’s hand clamped firmly around her waist, forcing her to meet that gaze head-on—possessive and commanding.

For some reason, Cheng Zhanya felt shy.

It was the kind she hadn’t felt in ages, the kind she missed the most.

Her heart pounded wildly; if she spoke, it felt like it might leap right out of her mouth.

Cheng Zhanya turned her face away and lowered her head, mumbling, “Too close.”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?” Lin Hanbing leaned in even closer, as if she truly hadn’t heard. “I didn’t catch that.”

Cheng Zhanya shot her a glare but said nothing.

She knew Lin Hanbing was doing it on purpose.

So boring.

Cheng Zhanya’s cheeks flushed—with annoyance.

“We’ve been even closer than this.”

“Have you forgotten?”

Lin Hanbing dropped the pretense and murmured low by her ear.

“!!”

Her ear tingled with itchiness.

Inappropriate images, unfit for children, flashed inappropriately through her mind.

Cheng Zhanya felt herself going soft all over.

Lin Hanbing smoothly pulled her into an embrace, sighing contentedly. It felt like ages since they’d been this intimate.

Every day was filled with the baby’s cries.

Total chaos.

“You’re still so shy,” Lin Hanbing chuckled.

“…”

“Not everyone’s as shameless as you,” Cheng Zhanya muttered under her breath.

Lin Hanbing laughed, reining in her playfulness at the right moment.

She didn’t let go of Cheng Zhanya but swayed her body playfully within the hug, like she was coquettishly pleading.

“Come with me, okay?”

Cheng Zhanya couldn’t resist Lin Hanbing acting spoiled. Her mind heated up, and she agreed on impulse.

She touched her belly.

A layer of soft flesh.

Yoga?

Cheng Zhanya felt tempted.

The instant she nodded, Lin Hanbing kissed her. “Good girl. That’s my Yaya.”

“I love you.”

The two words came without hesitation.

As if she said them all the time—natural, unaffected, never cloying.

It was hard to believe they came from Lin Hanbing’s mouth. Cheng Zhanya was still a little surprised.

But after the surprise passed, her empty heart felt suddenly filled.

Sweet and warm.

Was it her imagination? Lin Hanbing seemed like a different person again.

That afternoon.

Cheng Zhanya was cleared for discharge.

The moment they got home, her daughter’s pitiful cries echoed through the living room. Faintly, she could hear Yu Shujing trying to soothe the Little One, only to be drowned out by even louder wails.

Not long after New Year’s, Cheng Cainan had to go back to school, and the family shop needed to reopen, so Cheng Chen and Yang Meijing had no choice but to return home.

They hadn’t hired a maternity nurse—Cheng Zhanya hadn’t wanted one.

She believed she could manage raising the child herself. Once the daughter grew a bit older, she’d bond more with her mother.

As expected, the Little One had rarely left her side since birth. Even Grandma holding her too long would make her fuss.

This was the first time she’d been away from Cheng Zhanya for so long.

The Little One was starting to recognize people.

Perhaps missing her mother so much after the long absence, she had cried several times that morning alone.

Cry until exhausted, sleep, then cry upon waking.

She barely drank any formula, struggling and dodging even during feeds, nearly flinging the bottle away more than once.

Whose temper was that?

Fierce.

Yu Shujing felt both heartbroken and frantic, unsure what to do.

She had experience raising kids, but that was years ago—she was a bit rusty now.

The moment she saw Cheng Zhanya and Lin Hanbing return, she rushed over like they’d thrown her a lifeline, shoving the Little One into Lin Hanbing’s arms.

“Hurry and soothe your daughter.”

Yu Shujing rubbed her aching ears, relieved yet unable to stop sighing.

That child would be a handful when she grew up.

She shook her head, wiping away imaginary sweat with a helpless expression.

Were kids these days all this difficult?

Lin Hanbing held her daughter, gently stroking her heaving little chest with tender, rhythmic motions.

Normally, this worked wonders.

But perhaps because she’d been separated from Cheng Zhanya too long, the Little One wasn’t having it. She continued bawling at the top of her lungs.

“She must be hungry,” Yu Shujing reminded her, a mix of helplessness and heartache. “She’s been crying all morning. Hardly touched the formula at home.”

Cheng Zhanya reached out and took the child.

Back in the room, she hurriedly nursed her daughter, paying no mind to Lin Hanbing behind her.

The Little One latched on eagerly to Cheng Zhanya and drank happily, instantly forgetting to cry.

She really must have been starving; she nursed longer than usual this time. When she finally let go, her little lips were puffy.

Full and satisfied.

The baby quickly drifted off contentedly.

Seeing her daughter’s still-reddened eyes and nose tip, Cheng Zhanya’s heart ached terribly. She couldn’t help blaming herself.

Her daughter was so young, only able to express herself through cries, not yet used to anyone else—how could she have left her for so long?

Imagining the Little One crying all morning made her ache even more.

Cheng Zhanya leaned down and gently kissed her daughter’s soft cheek. “Sorry, Chengcheng.”

“My daughter.”

Lin Hanbing stayed by her side the whole time. Seeing Cheng Zhanya sinking back into her emotions, she quickly stepped forward to embrace her, murmuring comforts.

“It’s not your fault.”

“You were just sick.”

Cheng Zhanya said nothing, only silently gazing at her daughter’s sleeping face.

“Let me take Chengcheng,” Lin Hanbing said. “You rest a bit more.”

“I want to hold her a little longer.”

Cheng Zhanya dodged Lin Hanbing’s reaching hands, her eyes never leaving the baby.

The weight in her arms gave her a sense of reality.

She realized it might not be the daughter clinging to her—it was her clinging to the daughter.

Had skipping the maternity nurse been right… or wrong?

Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure.

Maybe she should let the baby interact with more people. Otherwise, if something like today happened again and no one could handle her, how pitiful would the Little One be?

Cheng Zhanya didn’t dare imagine it.

She sighed, suddenly feeling lost.

The child in her arms flailed a hand uneasily but didn’t wake—probably too drained from crying all morning.

The Little One slept soundly. Cheng Zhanya placed her back in the crib, and she didn’t stir, only letting out a soft hum.

“Should we…?”

Cheng Zhanya looked at Lin Hanbing, hesitating to speak.

It was such a simple sentence, yet it stuck in her throat.

“Should we what?” Lin Hanbing prompted.

Cheng Zhanya bit her lip, glanced at the Little One in the crib, hesitated for a long moment, then decided to bring it up.

“Should we hire a maternity nurse?”

“You’re okay with it?” Lin Hanbing sounded surprised.

She had been considering it all along, not wanting Cheng Zhanya to wear herself out.

Unfortunately, Cheng Zhanya’s views clashed with hers. She seemed to relish raising the child herself more than hiring help.

Lin Hanbing had no choice.

She respected all of Cheng Zhanya’s decisions and could only try to ease her burdens as much as possible.

She hadn’t anticipated the postpartum depression.

Yu Shujing could only do so much alone, and the Old Lady was too elderly to help much despite her willingness. Hiring a maternity nurse was undoubtedly the best option.

Lin Hanbing had even been pondering how to convince Cheng Zhanya to leave the baby at home once the postpartum yoga classes started.

She wholeheartedly approved of this suggestion.

Especially right now.

A maternity nurse had experience.

And Cheng Zhanya would have it much easier.

With the depression diagnosis, once the nurse was in place, she needed to take her wife out to clear her mind.

Hopefully easing the symptoms a bit.

Moreover, maternity leave was almost over. Cheng Zhanya would have to return to work.

From what she knew of her wife, she wouldn’t give up such a hard-won job.

The family could certainly afford a maternity nurse.

If not, then two.

Cheng Zhanya paused, then nodded earnestly. “Yeah, I’m okay with it.”

“Hire the best confinement nanny.” Lin Hanbing said.

“Okay.” Cheng Zhanya smiled, her expression complex as she looked at her daughter, and said gravely, “The baby is too clingy; it’s hard to get away.”

Lin Hanbing nods.

Indeed, I can’t get away.

“I want to choose the confinement nanny myself,” Cheng Zhanya said.

“I’ll listen to you.”