Chapter 46 Part 2

Before Yu Mo could answer, Shen Shuyu’s arms, tinged with faint pink, gently hooked around Yu Mo’s neck. Shen Shuyu’s burning skin pressed against Yu Mo’s slightly cool neck, slowly closing the distance between them. Yu Mo’s eyes widened sharply, barely pushing Shen Shuyu away. She quickly answered Zhang Wenmin: “Okay, okay, Teacher, please hurry.”

Zhang Wenmin didn’t waste any more words with Yu Mo, hanging up decisively and rushing off to borrow suppressants for Shen Shuyu.

Yu Mo didn’t even have time to put her phone back in her pocket before Shen Shuyu leaned in again. Her pearly teeth, just like in Yu Mo’s dream from that day, gently nibbled and grazed her earlobe. A whisper-like murmur breathed into Yu Mo’s ear: “So uncomfortable…”

When dream and reality overlapped, Yu Mo’s entire heart pounded wildly, erratically. Yu Mo watched Shen Shuyu, hooked onto her neck, slightly leaning her body towards her. The T-shirt, free from the dress’s constraint, revealed a section of fair, slender waist. A faint, shallow groove extended towards the forbidden secret garden. Shen Shuyu’s red lips parted slightly, slowly exhaling a warm, indolent breath towards Yu Mo.

This was no kitten; this was a wildcat. The summer breeze, with its unique restlessness, carried the scent of Camellia Wine, shrouding Yu Mo entirely.

Yu Mo stared at Shen Shuyu’s alluring, moist lips, momentarily lost. It felt as if time was rewinding, back to every bewildering, exceptionally transgressive day in that last summer before she parted with Shen Shuyu.

Suddenly, Yu Mo fiercely pinched her own thigh. What was she thinking? She was in Heat, but you are not. Can you just sober up and see clearly who this person in front of you is?

It’s Shen Shuyu! These words jolted Yu Mo awake. She reflexively twisted Shen Shuyu’s arm, which was still around her neck, behind her back, deliberately keeping her distance.

Shen Shuyu was utterly perplexed. She looked at the person forcefully restraining her, her eyes filled with teary grievance. The restless summer breeze saturated this secluded corner with the scent of Camellia Wine. Bamboo shadows swayed, disturbing one’s heart.

Finally, Zhang Wenmin came running over in a panic with the suppressant. The white liquid was slowly pushed into Shen Shuyu’s arm. Shen Shuyu only felt her body become light, floating. She looked up at Yu Mo’s face, her eyes unable to stay open anymore, and closed them.

.

Summer nights didn’t bring the coolness of other seasons. The floating heat moved through the quiet, moonlit night. It was almost midnight. The inpatient department of A City’s First People’s Hospital was like a sleeping giant. The surroundings were quiet; only a few faint warm yellow lights shone sporadically in front of a handful of hospital ward windows.

Shen Shuyu lay flat on the hospital bed, a light down blanket draped over her, vaguely outlining her slender body. Her brow was relaxed, her expression peaceful. Her thick lashes fanned out before her eyes. Looking from afar, she was serene and beautiful, like a painting.

Suddenly, Shen Shuyu’s fingers lying by her side twitched. Her fan-like lashes also fluttered twice. A pair of silver eyes slowly opened. Shen Shuyu, who had been unconscious for most of the day, finally woke up as the day was about to end.

She looked around the ward blankly. Faint light fell on the pure white walls—clean, yet overwhelmingly desolate. Shen Shuyu scanned the room; there was no one keeping her company. Her long lashes lowered slowly. She sighed softly, unable to hide her loneliness.

“Awake?” Yu Mo’s voice came to Shen Shuyu’s ear. She emerged from a small side room, carrying a kettle of water.

Shen Shuyu clenched the corner of the blanket, suppressing the joy in her heart, and nodded: “Mm.”

“Feeling any better?” Yu Mo asked, placing the kettle expressionlessly on Shen Shuyu’s bedside table.

Shen Shuyu sensed something wasn’t quite right with Yu Mo. She lightly moistened her dry lips and said, “Much better.”

Yu Mo’s voice was deep. She held the Physical Examination Report the doctor had given her for Shen Shuyu. Clearly marked on it was Shen Shuyu’s differentiation date: Mid-to-late July.

“So you differentiated a month ago.” Yu Mo’s voice was exceptionally calm, so calm it even seeped coldness in the sweltering night.

Shen Shuyu looked at the report paper crumpled in Yu Mo’s grip, her heart sinking.

Yu Mo leaned against the bedside cabinet, her tongue lightly touching her teeth: “Was it that day we went to the Night Market? You almost collapsed then because you were weak from just differentiating, wasn’t it?”

Shen Shuyu’s heart pounded violently. Yu Mo knew. Knew it perfectly, without missing a detail. She struggled to suppress her emotions, making her voice sound calm: “Yes.”

Yu Mo heard Shen Shuyu’s confirmation of her guess and her brow furrowed tightly: “Do you have any idea how dangerous what you did was?!”

As she spoke, Yu Mo placed the Physical Examination Report in front of Shen Shuyu, pointing to a red, jagged line that was dangerously close to exceeding the limit: “Look at your body report! Your Omega pheromones nearly went out of balance, do you understand?!”

Not even when their relationship hadn’t eased yet had Yu Mo spoken to Shen Shuyu like this. Her voice was full of anger and reproach.

“I’m sorry,” Shen Shuyu said to Yu Mo, full of guilt. She lowered her head, holding the physical examination report. She didn’t argue with Yu Mo, nor did she look at her with pitiful eyes seeking mercy. She knew she had truly done wrong this time.

Yu Mo looked at Shen Shuyu and shook her head with a mix of anger at her refusal to fight for herself. “No, Shen Shuyu, don’t say sorry to me. You were destroying your own body. Don’t you understand?!”

Yu Mo paused and then asked the question that had been buried in her heart since seeing the report: “Now tell me, why did you hide the fact that you’re an Omega from me? Was it because I said earlier that if you differentiated into an Omega, I wouldn’t hang out with you? Is that it?”

Shen Shuyu knew she couldn’t lie to Yu Mo anymore. Under her gaze, she slowly and heavily nodded: “Yes.”

Yu Mo’s heart immediately felt like a plummeting weight. So it really was just as she had thought at that time. Shen Shuyu really had hidden it for this reason. Yu Mo clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into her palms. Self-blame and guilt entwined in her heart. She looked at Shen Shuyu, puzzled: “How old are you? Can you stop being so childish? Am I more important, or is your body?”

Shen Shuyu bit the inside of her lip hard. In her heart, she cried out again and again: You, you… But she could not say it.

She knew if she spoke any words carrying such ambiguous implications now, the Yu Mo of this life who wanted no romantic feelings with her would turn and leave the very next second. And never look back. All her painstaking efforts, all her cautiousness, would be reduced to ashes in an instant.

Shen Shuyu explained to Yu Mo in a hoarse voice: “I just… cherish the friendship between us very much. Cherish… you, this… friend.” Not a lover. Just a friend. The corners of Shen Shuyu’s eyes reddened slightly. She loved her, willing to stake her own life to shorten the distance between them. Yet she was like a princess under a curse, unable to speak the word “love” to Yu Mo.

Yu Mo’s nose suddenly felt a little sour. This was the first time in two lifetimes that Shen Shuyu said she “cherished” their relationship. But this “cherishing” she spoke of was so illusory. Like a bubble, unable to withstand sunlight.

When a classmate in the tutoring class differentiated, the illusion she had built completely dissolved. Even if it was brilliantly colorful, it still burst in less than a second under the light.

Yu Mo countered: “Shen Shuyu, do you think what you did was cherishing the friendship between you and me? You even asked me if I hated being deceived. Remember what I told you?”

Faced with Yu Mo’s questioning, Shen Shuyu fell silent. Yu Mo took a light breath and answered for her: “I said I hate it.”

Shen Shuyu’s lips were bitten bloodless by her own teeth. Actually, the day she asked Yu Mo that question, she had foreseen the terrible outcome when this fragile lie was exposed. She just never imagined it would hurt this much, this heartbreakingly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to deceive you. I just thought that because I differentiated into an Omega, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore. I felt…” Shen Shuyu’s voice was very light, as if about to shatter.

But Yu Mo interrupted her mercilessly. “I don’t want you to ‘feel’ this way! Why didn’t you ask me? Why does everything have to be done just how you ‘feel’ it should be?”

These words were not only for the Shen Shuyu of this life but also for the Shen Shuyu of the last. She was always like this. Regardless of her willingness, regardless of whether she could bear it, she would always use the name of being her wife to arrange everything between them according to her own ideas and wishes.

Yu Mo clenched her fist, stopping herself from venting the resentment of her past life onto this life’s Shen Shuyu. Her tone softened slightly. “Qu Wenyao, Li Qingqing, even Zhou Qin, who just differentiated last week—they’re all Omegas. You’ve seen yourself, I haven’t ignored them. It’s just based on the premise that I’ll differentiate into an Alpha, I chose to maintain an appropriate distance with them. But that doesn’t affect our friendship.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” Yu Mo’s eyes were dim, her voice low with disappointment. Thinking of Shen Shuyu in the ambulance with a sallow face and chaotic ECG, she even hated the words she herself had spoken. “Do you think the friend relationship between us doesn’t even have the most basic trust?”

Shen Shuyu hurriedly shook her head. “It’s not that.” She was just afraid. Afraid that this thread she had painstakingly tied around Yu Mo’s wrist would be severed by this newly sprouted branch. Because she cherished it too much, she would rather maintain the status quo than make even a single update.

But Shen Shuyu had been wrong. This wasn’t a branch; it was like a patch in a game. An attachment that could make the system more stable.

Yu Mo’s eyes looked directly into Shen Shuyu’s. They were filled with complex emotions she couldn’t decipher. Unable to guess, Yu Mo simply applied her life experience from the last lifetime to warn Shen Shuyu: “Do you know how precious life is? Do you think it’s worth it to stake your life for someone else?”

Hearing this, Shen Shuyu felt the scene from her last life replay before her eyes. The blood that had stained her ten fingers twice slowly encroached upon the fingers tightly gripping the blanket now.

“Shen Shuyu, I’m not worth you making such a huge sacrifice. If the friendship between us has to be maintained by such a fragile bond, then I’d rather not have it.” Even if this is what you owed me from the last life.

Shen Shuyu’s heart trembled. Wasn’t the bond between her and Yu Mo in their last life maintained by just such unilateral sacrifices from Yu Mo? Because Yu Mo had experienced it, she didn’t want this life’s Shen Shuyu to be like her last-life self.

Yu Mo looked at Shen Shuyu. The warm yellow light couldn’t warm her pale face. Whether it was because she had differentiated into an Omega, the sharp sense of distance between her brows was weakened, replaced by a fragile quality that invited pity. Even the smallest size Hospital Gown hung loosely on her.

Yu Mo lightly pressed her lips together, unable to bear scolding Shen Shuyu further. Yet the silence of this hospital ward was too oppressive. Every quiet breath made it unbearable for Yu Mo to stay.

Shen Shuyu realized Yu Mo was about to leave. Any words to make her stay seemed utterly pale. Shen Shuyu just wanted to reach out and find Yu Mo’s hand hanging by her side, to hold her back. But her fingertips only brushed against the back of Yu Mo’s hand, catching a fleeting warmth before they slipped past each other.

The moonlight was obscured by a passing dark cloud, all its ethereal brightness withdrawn from the world. Shen Shuyu’s eyes were bleak. She still clutched the hint of warmth on her fingertips, warmth that maybe had already faded.