Chapter 19

Yun Chun stopped typing on her phone, her plump lips naturally pressing together.

Midday sunlight spilled generously into the car, warm and languid.

After Lu Qingxue reined in her aura, the two people in the front seats opened the windows again. They were chatting idly, discussing where to go drinking that evening.

Under normal circumstances, Yun Chun’s professional instincts would have kicked in. She would have struck up a conversation with them, exchanged a few casual remarks, and then invited them to karaoke and drinks at Shangding. But at that moment, her long lashes fluttered. It was as if she hadn’t heard their chatter at all. Her fingertips tapped dully on the back of her phone, one after another.

The sight reminded Lu Qingxue of the day she had reunited with Yun Chun—and of the star she had glimpsed by chance high in the sky.

It was different from the others: a red star.

A very small red star.

So tiny that in a moment of distraction, she had to stare for several seconds to find it again.

It simply hung there on the horizon, far from the cluster of other stars, flickering with faint red light in solitude.

Lu Qingxue had no idea how long it had existed in the sky, or whether it had been there since ancient times. Back then, she had only glanced at it fleetingly before turning to other matters.

Now, it suddenly came back to her.

Because Yun Chun gave her the exact same feeling.

Loneliness.

Yet growing wildly all the same, utterly indifferent.

Beneath the vast sky and boundless sea, it didn’t compare itself to the other stars. Instead, it simply shone on its own terms—free and utterly romantic.

Slowly, Lu Qingxue raised her hand. She wanted to grasp Yun Chun’s wrist and say all the things she had never had the chance to before.

She wanted to say, “Long time no see. Do you remember me? I’m Lu Qingxue—the one you called Sister Qingxue when you were little.”

She wanted to say, “Keep it up! I watched your performance on stage—it was amazing!”

She wanted to say, “No matter where you choose to wander, I’ll always be with you.”

She wanted to say, “Don’t worry, I’m still here.”

She wanted to say, “Sorry… it seems like I can’t help you after all…”

There was so much she wanted to say.

But when her fingertips brushed Yun Chun’s skin—when she felt the pulse throbbing beneath that delicate texture, the blood flowing hot through fine veins—Lu Qingxue’s eyes dimmed like a candle just lit in pitch-black night, only to be snuffed out by a breath. The spark of hope that had risen vanished in an instant.

She had forgotten: Yun Chun wouldn’t accept her.

That was why she could only drop hints to remind her. Hints expressed her own selfish desires while still respecting Yun Chun’s choices.

Lu Qingxue’s fingers were scorched by the searing vitality of Yun Chun’s life force. The instant they touched her skin, she drew back her hand. As Yun Chun turned to her with a puzzled expression, Lu Qingxue chuckled lightly, as if it were nothing. “So, what are your thoughts? You can tell me.”

Her expression, her tone, even the motion of withdrawing her hand—all were perfectly controlled. It seemed as natural as if she had merely touched Yun Chun’s wrist to get her attention for conversation, without arousing the slightest suspicion.

Yun Chun’s gaze swept across Lu Qingxue’s face before dropping to the spot her fingertips had touched. She lingered there a second longer, then fixed her eyes on the phone.

【Nothing on my mind.】

The soul beside her fell silent.

One minute passed.

Yun Chun’s narrow eyes flicked sideways. She saw Lu Qingxue’s calm expression—and those raincloud eyes now dulled over.

It was like a summer sky smothered by thick clouds: no rain, no wind, just a stifling heat that made it hard to breathe.

Those heavy eyes stared at her, turning the hazy gray sky into hazy gray air. The noise in her vision pressed in, and Yun Chun’s breathing slowed.

The hand gripping the phone tightened, then tightened again.

Her heart thudded a few times.

Fine.

She had already leaped right into the trap.

No escaping it for the time being.

Might as well sit in the pit and rest a while.

The tension eased from Yun Chun’s brows and eyes. Casually, her plump fingertip lifted just a bit to the side.

To others, it looked like she was simply stretching after a long ride. But in truth, that raised fingertip brushed Lu Qingxue’s wrist as lightly as a dragonfly skimming water.

Just as Lu Qingxue had touched her moments before.

She was signaling Lu Qingxue to look at her.

Lu Qingxue obligingly turned her head toward Yun Chun. The hair draped over her shoulder swayed gently with the motion, soft as a cascading waterfall.

Yun Chun felt that softness. Her fingers began to move.

【I’m reluctant to let you go.】

With the very first sentence, Yun Chun contradicted the firm denial she had voiced just minutes earlier.

But she could explain.

At least, the reluctance she meant wasn’t the ambiguous kind laced in Lu Qingxue’s tone.

【Chatting with you is just so comfortable.】

【Spending this time with you has let me relive my childhood—the carefree days of back then.】

The years when Yun Yueqin and Lu Qingxue had been by her side were the brightest, most colorful chapter in her otherwise drab life.

For Yun Chun, who had now tasted every bitterness life could offer, glimpsing that color—even if it was just a memory—in her ashen existence was enough to pull her back from the brink on desolate nights.

Truth be told, Yun Chun had always restrained herself from dwelling on the past.

It had been too sweet. Even a fleeting image made her teeth ache. It wasn’t that the present was too bitter; it was that she had lost the ability to taste life at all.

Her tongue was numb, her body numb, her mind numb.

She herself was numb.

Until Lu Qingxue appeared.

She meant the period before she knew her true identity.

During those nights of caresses and heated kisses, with murmured endearments in her ear and the lingering itch on her earlobe afterward—those sensations made Yun Chun feel alive. They reminded her that her body could still respond, could still come alive. It wasn’t numb enough to merely exist like a puppet on strings.

【It’s pretty amazing.】

Especially the feverish heat of their kisses, the warmth from blood rushing through her veins when touched… and then, after her partner left, the wild, uncontrollable pounding of her heart in the silent night. It thundered in her ears, one beat after another slamming against her eardrums. In that moment, she heard the sound of life.

The rhythm of her heartbeat was proof she was still alive.

And what truly showed Yun Chun that she desired more than just money was the flood of wetness, the thirst in her mouth… and the longing in her heart.

【I want to ask Master Xu—if we sever the connection, can we still meet?】

Now she was referring to after learning her identity.

Once Yun Chun realized the one bringing her springtime vigor was Lu Qingxue, all enthusiasm for that affair had cooled.

It was the awkwardness of kissing a familiar face.

What she shared with Lu Qingxue was too pure.

Pure like snow; pure like ice; pure like fine liquor.

White, translucent, unadulterated.

Pure enough that when Lu Qingxue’s fingers—cold as snow—brushed her ear, she felt flushed, as if intoxicated.

How could they possibly talk marriage? What marriage?

Without Lu Wanyi and the others, they never would have ended up in this situation.

Even if Lu Qingxue were alive, it wouldn’t have happened.

Because it was impossible, plain and simple!

Their bond was so pure—how could they ever marry?

【So after I ask her and see if there’s a solution, we can talk about it then, okay?】

With the final question mark typed, Yun Chun looked up. Her dewy eyes blinked insistently, gazing unwaveringly at Lu Qingxue.

She was checking if the world in Lu Qingxue’s eyes had changed.

Was it still raining?

Had the dark clouds parted?

Had the sky cleared?

Had she coaxed her back to smiles?

Four questions, but the last one was the key—the heart of the first three.

Yun Chun simply didn’t realize it.

A breeze wafted through, making the waiting silence less tedious.

Lu Qingxue could only see the words Yun Chun typed on the phone; she had no inkling of her inner thoughts.

Yun Chun typed swiftly. Six messages flew by in under a minute.

But Lu Qingxue read slowly, savoring every word. She parsed the meaning behind each one, carefully tasting the emotions Yun Chun poured into them, trying to capture her true intent.

Sadly, before she could glean much, Yun Chun flipped the phone face down, hiding the screen.

Fortunately, Lu Qingxue had skimmed enough to grasp the gist.

Her willow-leaf eyes curved into crescents. Inwardly, she sighed: As expected, such a stubborn little contrarian.

She stared at Yun Chun, arching a brow. The beauty mark at the corner of her eye shifted with it.

“You want to keep seeing me just because chatting with me feels good?”

Yun Chun, who had been watching Lu Qingxue closely, saw those eyes cloud over with rain once more. The knot of worry in her chest eased by a few inches.

The corners of her mouth quirked up as she typed.

【Yeah.】

【We’re friends, after all.】

Lu Qingxue’s eyelid twitched. “……Oh.”

Yun Chun caught the response. Her eyes flickered, but she didn’t reply. Instead, she lowered her head to answer messages from work—even on leave, issues still cropped up.

The car cruised steadily along the highway.

The toasty sunlight made Yun Chun drowsy.

The pair up front had known each other for years and could chat endlessly. After Yun Chun stopped talking with Lu Qingxue, she occasionally chimed in with a word or two. But soon, overwhelmed by the sun’s warmth, she yawned, crossed her arms over her chest, propped up her legs, shifted for comfort, and prepared to sleep.

Just as her eyes drifted shut and sleep nearly claimed her, a cool sensation brushed her ear.

Lu Qingxue’s voice drifted in, ethereal and probing: “Can friends kiss on the lips?”

Yun Chun figured she must be half-asleep and delirious. She shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head against the seat to a new angle, ready to doze off again.

A few seconds later, that ghostly voice came again: “Can they?”

Yun Chun opened her eyes.

Not far away was Lu Qingxue’s delicate face, as faint and ethereal as a landscape painting.

This time, she wasn’t holding her phone. Instead, she simply frowned. “?”

What kind of question was that?

Propping herself up against the car seat, Lu Qingxue leaned in close to Yun Chun’s face and asked curiously, “I was just wondering—since we’ve kissed, can we still be friends?”

Her tone was perfectly casual, as if she were asking the price of eggs at the market.

The listener, however, was utterly stunned.

The lingering sleepiness vanished from Yun Chun’s eyes.

She blinked. “?”

Lu Qingxue went on, “I’ve never kissed anyone else—especially not a friend—so I wouldn’t know.”

Yun Chun could almost hear the unspoken follow-up: Since I don’t know, I’m asking you. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of freak.

Lu Qingxue paused for a moment before asking, “Have you?”

Her voice softened. “With your… friends.”

She lingered playfully on those last two words, teasing yet earnest.

It was that touch of sincerity that convinced Yun Chun she wasn’t joking.

But how was she supposed to answer that without sounding ridiculously pretentious?

She had dropped out of school young. The people she’d met there had gradually faded from her life after she started working, and the so-called friends from her jobs were nothing more than superficial acquaintances.

Truth be told, she didn’t have any real friends.

Qin Xing was the only one who qualified.

Yun Chun closed her eyes and turned her head toward the window, determined to ignore Lu Qingxue.

Lu Qingxue’s curiosity, however, proved relentless. She had no intention of letting Yun Chun off the hook.

She wanted an answer.

“The person you joked about repaying with your body last time—that was Sister Xing, right? Are the two of you friends?”

Yun Chun kept her eyes shut, but Lu Qingxue’s questions didn’t stop. “Have you ever kissed her?”

Yun Chun’s heart stuttered for a couple of seconds.

Kiss Qin Xing?

She’d have to be suicidal.

Even their occasional jokes could earn her a scolding. Actually going through with it? Yun Chun couldn’t even picture it—who would dare kiss someone like Qin Xing? And she certainly couldn’t imagine what Qin Xing would look like in a moment of romance.

Especially not someone as tough and unyielding as her.

Afraid Lu Qingxue might lob another bombshell, Yun Chun reluctantly cracked her eyes open. Half yawning, half typing, she managed a response.

【No.】

Lu Qingxue read it and noticed Yun Chun’s cheeks—already flushed from the sunlight—now blooming an even deeper red, as if steeped in strawberry juice.

The next moment, she watched Yun Chun type:

【With you… that was my first kiss.】

A warm smile curved Lu Qingxue’s lips.

“What a coincidence,” she said with a grin. “Mine too.”

Yun Chun thought: I didn’t ask.

She licked her lips and typed: 【We can just pretend nothing happened before. Let’s keep being friends.】

Lu Qingxue had a sinking feeling she knew where this was headed. She tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, but Yun Chun was already typing again.

【I know you didn’t have a choice. You said before that kissing me gives you energy, so everything that happened prior was just to absorb energy, right?】

Lu Qingxue hesitated. “…Mm.”

She lowered her voice deliberately, feigning disinterest in the topic.

But Yun Chun pressed on, mirroring her earlier persistence.

【After I offered you incense, your figure looked more solid. Was that your energy getting stronger?】

【So, aside from intimate contact with me, does offering incense give you what you need too?】

Lu Qingxue was impressed by Yun Chun’s sharp observation. Though reluctant to admit it, those sparkling eyes made it impossible to lie. “Mm. Little Darling, you’re so clever. You guessed exactly right.”

【That makes things simple.】

【From now on, I’ll offer you incense. You won’t have to… kiss me anymore.】

Lu Qingxue brushed her fingertip across her brow. No wonder she’d had that bad premonition.

So this was it.

【And you won’t have to worry about friends kissing, either.】

Lu Qingxue sighed inwardly.

When Yun Chun had offered the incense and her energy had surged, she’d tried to conceal the change. Even so, Yun Chun had noticed.

In that moment, she suddenly wished Yun Chun weren’t quite so perceptive.

She finally understood what it meant to hoist herself by her own petard.

Desperate to salvage the situation, Lu Qingxue added quickly, “I’m not sure, though. It might not work.”

Yun Chun, ever guileless, didn’t pick up on her intentions at all. 【Let’s give it a try first.】

Lu Qingxue didn’t respond.

A long moment passed before she murmured softly, “Sleep,” and vanished.