Chapter 52

The lights flickered twice.

After kissing Lu Qingxue, Yun Chun kept staring at her, listening to the thunderous pounding of her own heart in her chest while not missing the astonishment spilling from Lu Qingxue’s eyes.

That depth of surprise was enough to wash away the shyness Yun Chun had felt for the first time in taking the initiative to kiss someone.

She bit her lip and asked Lu Qingxue uneasily, “You… aren’t happy?”

Lu Qingxue lowered her gaze with a smile. “No, I’m very happy.”

Her smile was soft and gentle, just as always.

Yet Yun Chun couldn’t sense any of the happiness Lu Qingxue claimed to feel.

She wrapped her arms around Lu Qingxue’s waist and whispered, “Sister Qingxue, I’m not messing around. I’m not joking with you either.”

Yun Chun’s eyelashes fluttered as she kissed the corner of Lu Qingxue’s mouth once more. “I want to be with you.”

As soon as the words left her lips, a large hand covered the back of Yun Chun’s head. Lu Qingxue drew her into her embrace, and Yun Chun leaned quietly against Lu Qingxue’s shoulder.

Lu Qingxue’s shoulder was slender—not broad, not tall. Yet for Yun Chun, it felt like a lonely sailboat finally finding a safe harbor. It gave her a sense of reliance, a bay where she could depend on something solid.

Her cheek pressed against Lu Qingxue’s shoulder, against that cool, delicate skin. With her gaze slightly lowered, her eyelashes brushed against it now and then.

Yun Chun shifted her head, burying her face into the hollow of Lu Qingxue’s neck.

She had held that spot earlier, and lying there had felt so comfortable. It still did.

Lu Qingxue tilted her head down, her lips grazing the edge of Yun Chun’s ear as she murmured, “I know you’re not just saying that, Little Darling.”

As for whether she was happy or not…

Lu Qingxue couldn’t put it into words.

The second half of her interrupted sentence had been her true thought. She feared that Yun Chun’s words stemmed from guilt—that she felt indebted to her and was saying this out of obligation.

How much courage must this girl, who blushed even from repeated kisses, have mustered to speak those words?

Rain began to fall outside the window. The autumn downpour lacked the summer rain’s gentleness, its steady patter the only sound breaking the moment’s silence.

Yun Chun was dressed lightly and felt a chill the instant the rain started. She shrank into herself, pressing closer into Lu Qingxue’s arms in search of warmth—arms colder than the rain itself.

Lu Qingxue patted Yun Chun’s back in silent reassurance. But with that simple gesture from Yun Chun, Lu Qingxue’s inner deliberations suddenly didn’t seem so heavy.

Whether Yun Chun truly liked her or not didn’t matter. Whatever her reasons for wanting to be together, Lu Qingxue had gotten what she wished for, hadn’t she?

At least, they would be together without regrets.

So Lu Qingxue compromised in her mind.

Thunder rumbled outside. Lu Qingxue lowered her head and pressed a kiss to Yun Chun’s hair. “Can we go to sleep now?”

Yun Chun looked up at her, hesitating. “Then…”

It was her first time experiencing something like this, so Yun Chun had no idea what came next in the process. But she wasn’t some naive child either. Though shy, she knew her own territory.

She cleared her throat with a soft cough and met Lu Qingxue’s eyes. “Are you willing to be with me?”

“How could I not be?”

Before Yun Chun’s eyes could light up, Lu Qingxue’s soft voice cut through the rain. “But Little Darling, we can’t be together yet.”

Yun Chun frowned. “Didn’t you say you were willing?”

Lu Qingxue smiled and pinched her cheek. “Mm, I am willing. But I want to give you a few more days. I hope you’ll think it over seriously—make sure you’re really certain you want to be with me before you ask again.”

Lu Qingxue still couldn’t fully compromise.

Her main reason was simple: she didn’t want to hurt Yun Chun.

Not until Yun Chun was sure her desire came from affection rather than guilt. Not until Lu Qingxue could stay without vanishing at any moment. Not until she had fully escaped Qian Shan’s control…

Until then, they couldn’t be together.

She had no assurance to offer Yun Chun.

Parting could happen anytime, and a sudden departure would bring pain—it would definitely hurt Yun Chun.

She refused to hurt her.

So she said, “I’ll always be by your side anyway, spending every day with you. That’s basically being together. So there’s no rush on this. Take your time to think it over, and give me your answer when you’re ready.”

The rain dripped steadily, and a gust of slanting wind splattered droplets against the glass.

The room fell silent once more as Lu Qingxue’s words hung in the air.

For a moment, Yun Chun couldn’t understand why Lu Qingxue had rejected her. Lu Qingxue clearly liked her, and she’d just proposed they be together, hadn’t she?

Where had she gone wrong?

Think about it?

What was there to think about?

Take her time?

How much time was “taking her time”? How long until she could be certain she really wanted to be with Lu Qingxue? She already was certain.

What more did Lu Qingxue want her to think?

Had her confession been too sudden, making Lu Qingxue think it was a joke?

But before confessing, she’d thought it through deeply. She’d considered every possibility, good and bad, and her resolve had never wavered: she wanted to be with Lu Qingxue.

She had listened to that audio recording over and over, and the idea had crystallized in her heart time and again.

She’d known she liked Lu Qingxue—not just after hearing the recording, not just after confirming Lu Qingxue’s feelings.

Her answer to Zhu You had simply been “I like her.” She liked Lu Qingxue.

So her feelings hadn’t sprung up only after learning Lu Qingxue liked her in return.

All that had surged afterward was her desire to be together.

So…

Had there been something wrong with her confession itself?

Yun Chun had no experience confessing to anyone else. Being rejected now left her feeling down, naturally, but it also made her anxious.

She, who was usually so steady in the face of trouble, lost her composure. She wanted to whip out her phone and search online for advice on how to confess properly. She even wanted to call Qin Xing and declare an emergency, begging her good little sister for ideas.

But as her hand fumbled for her phone, Yun Chun froze.

Hadn’t Lu Qingxue said that when problems arose, the first person she should think of was her?

Yes.

Then she should just ask Lu Qingxue directly.

Yun Chun grabbed hold of the woman who was drifting away with another goodnight. Her voice hoarse, she said, “Don’t go yet. I have a question for you.”

Her tone sounded deadly serious. Lu Qingxue paused, then turned to her. “What is it?”

“Tell me how to confess so she’ll say yes,” Yun Chun blurted out.

Lu Qingxue’s mouth parted slightly. “Little Darling, you…”

Yun Chun didn’t care if Lu Qingxue’s pause came from surprise or confusion—she had no patience left. If it hadn’t been for Zhu You’s recording, who knew when she might have heard those words from Lu Qingxue’s lips?

If that unvoiced confession hadn’t been captured on audio, would she have gone her whole life without hearing it?

Yun Chun refused to let such a regret linger between them. She was bold in love and hate—when she liked someone, she liked them fiercely. When she wanted to be together, she pursued it outright. She wanted to call Lu Qingxue her lover someday. She wanted Lu Qingxue to agree.

Rational yet impulsive, patient yet daring, Yun Chun went straight to the point. “Didn’t you say I should think of you first when I have a problem? Well, I have one now, and I need your help solving it. So please tell me: what do I have to say for you to agree to be with me? Instead of turning me down and telling me to take my time thinking.”

Lu Qingxue stared at Yun Chun as if seeing her for the first time.

She hadn’t realized how stubbornly determined Yun Chun was about this.

There was a obstinate edge to Yun Chun’s words, but upon reflection, it made sense—Yun Chun had always been that way.

Principled, with firm boundaries. Once she set her mind on something, not even eight donkeys could drag her away from it. The description wasn’t flattering, but it fit Yun Chun perfectly. Otherwise, she wouldn’t cling so tightly, staring with that unyielding gaze, determined not to let the night end without an answer.

Lu Qingxue hadn’t expected their roles to reverse like this. She was the one retreating now, while Yun Chun—the one who’d always resisted—had become the pursuer.

So passionate. So fiery, like a blaze.

In this rainy night, beneath Yun Chun’s burning gaze, the snow began to melt.

…

Lu Qingxue gazed at her in silence. Yun Chun assumed she was still holding firm and felt her throat tighten, as if scalded by hot oil.

She opened her mouth, unwilling to give up. “Sister Qingxue, if you like me, you shouldn’t make me take time to think. You say spending every day together is the same as being together—but if our relationship isn’t defined, would you kiss me? Would you hold me? Would you do to me what you did before…”

Yun Chun’s voice dropped suddenly. She coughed shyly. “…that kind of thing?”

She answered her own question.

“You wouldn’t.”

“So what you’re saying isn’t what I want at all.”

Yun Chun’s expression grew serious. She gripped Lu Qingxue’s wrist and pleaded in a low voice, “Sister Qingxue, tell me—how do I confess for you to agree to be with me?”

As she spoke, desire shone in Yun Chun’s eyes—a raw hunger to be with Lu Qingxue.

And Lu Qingxue knew that look all too well.

It was the same gaze that had first drawn her in, when Yun Chun’s undisguised private longing had laid bare for the world to see. From interest to fondness, then to full-blown love.

Eyes never lied. They were more honest than words.

This time, Lu Qingxue saw herself reflected in Yun Chun’s gaze.

So clear. So soul-stirring.

Her original wish was finally coming true.

The wrist in Yun Chun’s grasp burned faintly, the heat searing into Lu Qingxue.

Feeling Yun Chun’s warmth, Lu Qingxue’s eyes softened.

“Little Darling.”

“Mm?”

Lu Qingxue smiled. “You make liking you feel like such a happy thing.”

“You let me know I didn’t choose wrong.”

“…You’re really wonderful.”

Yun Chun’s ears burned at those words, but she kept her expression cool and serious. “Don’t say things like that. What I asked earlier wasn’t how you’d evaluate me— it was how you’d confess in a way that would make me say yes.”

“A confession…?” Lu Qingxue gave a faint smile, then tilted her head slightly as she looked at Yun Chun. “If I knew how to confess, I wouldn’t have waited until now to tell you that I like you. It’s a puzzle even for me, Little Darling. You’re really putting me on the spot.”

Yun Chun’s heartbeat quickened along with a sudden thunderclap outside. It wasn’t the thunder that startled her—it was a moment of sudden clarity.

She had forgotten to say something to Lu Qingxue.

Something crucial, something that had to be said in a confession.

No wonder Lu Qingxue thought she was being impulsive, telling her to take her time and think it through.

Yun Chun released Lu Qingxue’s wrist and stood before her, her hands half-clenched into fists. She took a nervous, deep breath and licked her lips, waiting until the gloss had dried. Then she blinked, the patter of rain against the window providing a rhythmic backdrop, and gazed into Lu Qingxue’s eyes—eyes that held their own fine drizzle, a rainy vista she longed to plunge into, umbrella or no.

In that moment, Yun Chun stepped into the rain, heedless of the strands soaking her, and said with utter sincerity:

“One sentence is enough.”

A smile bloomed from deep within her heart. “I want to say it to you, too.”

Yun Chun gazed at Lu Qingxue.

She couldn’t say exactly when her feelings for Lu Qingxue had begun. But confessing to her tonight—in this precise minute, this very second, right as the lights in the room inexplicably flickered out—that was when Lu Qingxue needed to hear those four words: I like you.

The room had plunged into darkness, but Yun Chun paid it no mind.

She listened to the rain and watched Lu Qingxue, as if she stood before a lake. Rain fell, sending ripples across the surface. Yun Chun reached out and cupped a handful of that lake water, ready to share the secret she had unearthed from the depths of her own heart these past two days.

And this secret was one she had to whisper to the lake itself.

She cradled Lu Qingxue’s cheeks and spoke the words she had forgotten:

“Sister Lu, I like you.”

Yun Chun paused for a few seconds before asking:

“You…”

“Will you be with me?”