006 Do You Have One of Those?
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Qin Ren channeled a certain famous female talk show host. Leaning back on the sofa, he beckoned suspiciously.
Luo Yao walked over and sat obediently beside him.
“Take off your slippers.”
With two soft thuds, Luo Yao kicked off the pink caterpillars, revealing two exquisite little feet. Looking at the insteps alone, they were indeed crystal white and flawless, so perfect you couldn’t see a single blue vein. They were like naturally formed white jade.
“Lift them up a bit.”
“Heave… ho~”
“A little higher.”
“Mmm…”
Despite being a Spirit Beast, she was clumsier than a human. Luo Yao struggled to get her body angled right on the sofa, her slender legs pressed together. She held the backs of her knees with her delicate arms, trying to lift her calves as high as possible so Qin Ren could see the soles of her feet, which were so tender and fine they had almost no creases.
It was truly amazing. The little girl had run around outside barefoot for so long, yet her feet weren’t the least bit dirty.
Even her heels were lustrous and smooth, without a hint of excess callus, like little boiled wontons. Through the thin skin, a faint pink hue was visible, a rosy-white that made one want to take a bite.
Her five pinkish toes were also sufficiently slender and cute, lined up neatly. The gaps between them were soft and tight. Occasionally, they would move restlessly, curling and uncurling, emitting a gentle, pearl-pink halo.
“Qin… Qin Ren…”
“!”
Tsk…
I actually got lost in thought.
Qin Ren wasn’t some kind of pervert, so his old face immediately flushed. As his nose twitched, he happened to catch a pleasant milky scent.
This is absurd…
She’s supposed to be a majestic immortal creature, but even her feet smell like soft, milky candy.
Is this reasonable?
“Qin Ren… Qin Ren, stop looking. This eminence… can’t hold on any longer…”
Lying on the sofa in an L-shape with her little feet in the air, Luo Yao’s face was slightly flushed from the strain of the position. Her watery eyes looked at Qin Ren aggrievedly as she whined and whimpered about being tired.
So this is a Spirit Beast…
And it wasn’t like he’d asked her to try this hard. Look at that strained little face, tsk tsk…
“Alright, alright.”
Speechless, Qin Ren grabbed her by the ankles and lowered her feet, then pointed to the bathroom.
“I’ll give you credit for having clean soles, but your body must have some dust on it, right? I’ve run the water for you. Go take a shower.”
“Mhm, mhm~”
It was clear Luo Yao quite liked the idea of bathing. She pattered off towards the bathroom on her little feet.
“Wait! Take your slippers, leave them outside the bathroom!”
“Eh? I still have to wear them…”
Luo Yao was a little reluctant. She’d already said her feet don’t get dirty. Did she have to show him again?
“Clean or not, you have to wear slippers in the house. Is a brand-new chamber pot clean? Would people eat out of a chamber pot?”
Qin Ren gave a very typical example, and Luo Yao stopped arguing. She started taking off her dress right there as she walked to the bathroom, only to be forcefully dragged into the bathroom by a dark-faced Qin Ren, who then taught her how to use the showerhead and body wash.
“Conserve water. Our world is different from yours. Everyone gets a daily water ration. People get shot in the streets over water all the time.”
“I know~”
Although Qin Ren had fabricated a “terrifying” backstory out of concern for the water bill, a certain High Immortal didn’t seem to care much about the life and death of mere mortals. After a cheerful agreement, she turned on the faucet with a splash.
Fierce birds love to play in water, and so do Spirit Beasts.
In the blink of an eye, 45 minutes had passed.
It wasn’t until Qin Ren had finished two cigarettes and was banging on the door that the little girl came scampering out.
“This is an apartment. Do you know how expensive commercial water rates are?”
“…”
Luo Yao lowered her head and shook it.
“You’re such a spendthrift…”
“Qin Ren, there’s something this eminence has been wanting to say for a while.”
“Say it.”
Luo Yao glanced up slightly at the wall beside her, twisting a strand of her damp hair with her fingers.
“You’re so mean to this eminence…”
“…”
Qin Ren was at a loss for words. He looked at her thin, delicate body, fell silent for a long time, and seemed about to speak but stopped. Finally, he grabbed a large bath towel, gently placed it over her little head, and ruffled it messily.
“Dry off. Don’t catch a cold.”
The voice in her ears seemed much gentler. Luo Yao peeked out from under the towel with two dark, glistening eyes. After staring at Qin Ren for a moment, she nodded vigorously.
“Mhm~”
…
Soon, Luo Yao had changed into Qin Ren’s old T-shirt and shorts. The little girl’s frame couldn’t handle them, and a rounded shoulder would often slip out, revealing a soft, exceptionally gentle and delicate air.
“Over three hundred years old…”
Qin Ren couldn’t help but sigh with emotion. This was a bona fide case of “old shoulders, extremely slippery.”
With one thing and another, evening arrived quickly.
What arrived even faster than the evening was the hunger in Luo Yao’s belly.
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren…”
When the little girl came over, clutching her rumbling tummy and tugging at Qin Ren’s clothes with pleading eyes, ten thousand alpacas galloped through Qin Ren’s mind.
“My dear lady, no, my dear great-grandmother, you ate three liang of noodles earlier, plus what you stole from my bowl, that’s four liang. It’s only six o’clock now and you’re hungry again?”
Luo Yao was conflicted and didn’t know how to answer.
If she nodded, Qin Ren would be mean.
But if she shook her head, she was really, really hungry…
Finally, remembering the principle of “having to bow your head under someone else’s roof,” the High Immortal looked at Qin Ren with renewed determination.
“Qin Ren, hold me.”
“…”
“Hold me tight.”
“…”
“And in return, you’ll cook for me.”
“I’d forgotten if you hadn’t brought it up. That pun is banned starting today.”
Qin Ren then explained the meaning of “calling the police” to this kid. This set off a chain reaction, and amidst countless “whys,” he was forced to explain police, handguns, crime, and even criminal law…
His mouth dry, Qin Ren, of course, still ended up cooking for her helplessly.
It was Golden Soup Beef Noodles again, but Qin Ren didn’t think it was because she had fallen in love with this dish, but simply because she hadn’t yet tasted anything better in this world.
After dinner, Qin Ren carefully led Luo Yao for a walk in the park near the residential community.
The park had water and trees, making it a good place for her to adapt during this transitional period. Luo Yao also let loose, but the “whys” coming out of her mouth were simply too many.
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren, why do these two wheels move as soon as you step on them?”
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren, what are those shiny things on the lawn?”
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren, that woman is so x-rated. You can see her belly button through her clothes. Just like those foxes from the Acacia Sect~”
…
Words unsuitable for a loli would occasionally pop out of the loli’s mouth, making Qin Ren walk on eggshells the whole way. In the end, he issued a gag order, and after a couple of random laps, they went home shortly after dark.
Once it was dark, the matter of sleeping arrangements naturally had to be considered.
The apartment Qin Ren rented was a two-bedroom. The extra bedroom was reserved for his sister. His sister usually stayed in her two-person graduate dorm at the university now, but even so, Qin Ren knew very well the consequences of letting another woman use her bed.
Back when he hadn’t broken up with his ex-girlfriend, a crisis like that had occurred…
So Qin Ren moved the sofa closer to the door and clapped his hands.
“Luo Yao, you’re sleeping here tonight.”
“I object!”
This naturally drew the dissatisfaction of the great Spirit Beast, whose cheeks puffed up into two little buns.
Qin Ren pressed the buns down. “Objection overruled. You’re pretty useless anyway. It’s a chance for you to be of some value for once.”
“How is sleeping here being of value!”
“Well now, I’ve looked it up.”
Qin Ren blurted out in a TVB accent:
“Pixiu can have one or two horns. The one-horned is called ‘Tianlu,’ and the two-horned is called ‘Bixie.’ I remember you said your true form has two horns, right? So just be a good girl and sleep by the door to help ward off evil spirits for the family.”
Qin Ren threatened her with a cheek-pinch, and Luo Yao eventually flopped onto the sofa in a huff, burying her head in a cushion, her palm-sized little bottom sticking up in protest.
And this unintentional gesture couldn’t help but make Qin Ren ponder.
“…”
He stared at that tiny rump, his eyes narrowing.
Slowly, a bold question gradually surfaced in his mind and refused to go away.
…
Since ancient times, one important reason people have favored the Pixiu as an auspicious symbol is the legend that it devours all things but never excretes, only taking in and never letting out.
Much like the coelenterates from a middle school biology textbook.
“Luo Yao…” Qin Ren called out.
“…Hmph…” Luo Yao mumbled, ignoring him.
But Qin Ren still wanted to ask.
“Do you… cough… have one of those?”
“?”
