Obsessively Raised by My Doll 20

Chapter 20

For a moment, Lu Dieqing even had the illusion that her little doll was about to transform into a person, press her close, and corner her to demand an answer.

If asked whether she disliked Matron Li, the answer was, of course, yes. But that dislike was nowhere near the level of wishing for the other to die. Because Lu Dieqing knew there was a reason for Matron Li’s malice; the woman had transferred the grief from the death of her only son on the battlefield into a hatred for the people of Shan.

With such a blood feud at the forefront, even though Lu Dieqing disliked Matron Li’s character, behind that dislike hid a sliver of unspeakable pity.

“Xinxin, when I went to the Library Pavilion, I met the Crown Princess.”

Lu Dieqing suddenly spoke, changing the subject.

Hearing her other identity’s name suddenly from the little girl’s mouth, Zheng Xuening paused. She stopped controlling the doll’s body and let herself sit on the girl’s arm. But the doll’s body was too clumsy, restricting her movements. Zheng Xuening nearly slid to the ground, only to be gently caught by Lu Dieqing’s hand in time.

Lu Dieqing’s fingers gently stroked the wooden doll.

“Xinxin, I saw the Crown Princess once before, but back then I was with Matron Li and the others. Hearing so many rumors about the Crown Princess, I always thought Her Highness was a moody person who would behead people at the drop of a hat. Only after I truly met Her Highness did I realize the rumors were exaggerated.”

“In fact, Her Highness the Crown Princess is not that fierce at all; she’s actually very approachable. And she’s also interested in the puppetry tradition and even asked me some questions. Oh, right, she even gave me a token and told me to carry it with me.”

Lu Dieqing took the token from her bosom with one hand and held it up for Zheng Xuening to see.

“This waist token was a great help today.”

Her slender fingers paused on the character “Ning” on the gold-plated token, gently rubbing it twice.

“When I was coming back today, I ran into Matron Li and the others again… so I took out the waist token. In the end, not a single one of them gave me trouble; they all let me go.”

Compared to her fragile state during her previous attempts at spiritual awakening, Lu Dieqing seemed a little stronger. She was somewhat embarrassed to cry and complain in front of her little doll. She even casually glossed over the sense of oppression that Matron Li and the others had brought.

Zheng Xuening scoffed. “No one gave you trouble?”

A guilty look appeared on Lu Dieqing’s face. She held the little wooden doll she had carved with her own hands and made a solemn promise to it.

“So Xinxin, no one is bullying me now. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Lu Dieqing’s gentle voice brushed past the wooden doll, sounding extremely patient.

Zheng Xuening studied the look of satisfaction on the girl’s face and realized that she genuinely didn’t want to hold a grudge against Matron Li’s group for their past offenses.

She even found it somewhat incredible.

Lu Dieqing’s nature was a little too good. Such forgiveness would not earn her gratitude. Others would only think she was easy to manipulate, a soft bun who didn’t hold grudges and could be bullied relentlessly.

How on earth did the princess of Shan, Lu He, raise her daughter? To have taught her to be so naive and ignorant of the world?

Zheng Xuening once again discovered the differences between herself and Lu Dieqing.

She didn’t cling to power, nor did she think about revenge.

“You don’t hate the Chaoying Kingdom?” the wooden doll asked another sharp question.

Lu Dieqing froze. “Why should I hate it?”

She seemed to have never thought about this question carefully before. Being asked by Zheng Xuening like this, her exquisite little face showed a trace of deep thought.

Zheng Xuening once again tried to dig into the dark side of her heart.

“If the Chaoying Kingdom hadn’t demanded a hostage, how would you and your mother be bullied here?”

The wooden doll, successfully reawakened for the second time, seemed to have become a little more aggressive. Every question she asked was sharp, striking directly at the heart.

Lu Dieqing was silent for a while. A look of dejection appeared on her soft, tender face, like a little flower seedling that had been trampled before it could grow, drooping and unable to bloom.

Just when Zheng Xuening thought Lu Dieqing wouldn’t answer, the girl’s gentle voice sounded.

“The root of the problem isn’t the Chaoying Kingdom. If it weren’t my mother and I here today, perhaps it would be some other innocent person.”

“Hating someone is uncomfortable. That feeling isn’t good, and it’s too powerless. Rather than hating others, I’d rather make myself stronger…”

Hearing the delicate, soft little girl say so seriously that she wanted to become strong was truly startling.

Zheng Xuening’s voice held a trace of mockery. “So you awakened me to make you strong?”

Lu Dieqing’s face flushed red. She looked at the little doll with glistening eyes.

“…Is that not okay?”

She didn’t deny it.

Becoming a puppeteer had been a path filled with too many of her expectations and hopes from the very beginning. She wanted to take her parents back to the Shan Kingdom; she wanted to be the master of her own destiny.

Zheng Xuening was amused. She was amused by the girl’s naivety and innocence, and also by her bluffing.

“Xinxin, what are you laughing at?” Lu Dieqing knew the little doll was laughing at her. Her face was red, her lashes trembling, and her dark, round eyes were filled with a shy, watery light.

Zheng Xuening reined in her smile, her seriousness mixed with a hint of playful mockery.

“Come a little closer, and I’ll tell you why.”

Lu Dieqing hesitated for a moment, then held the doll a little higher, bringing it to her eye level.

As the two of them looked at each other, Zheng Xuening gazed at the girl’s peerless beauty under the moonlight and coaxed her, “Praise me again.”

Lu Dieqing was a little dazed, but she still obediently opened her mouth.

“Xinxin is the best doll in the world. I like you the most.”

After only a few days of listening to this girl’s heartfelt words, Zheng Xuening felt an addictive sense of euphoria. She stared at Lu Dieqing’s red lips.

“Continue.”

Lu Dieqing was a little embarrassed, but she steeled herself and continued.

“I read in the puppetry manuals that after those dolls are awakened, they don’t know anything and need their puppeteer to teach them bit by bit. But you, Xinxin, you’re completely different. You were born with knowledge and understand so many things. How am I so lucky? I must have been blessed by the gods to have met you.”

Lu Dieqing had never said such sweet words before. But it was as if she owed the little doll these heartfelt words from a past life, so they poured out of her in endless streams. This surprised even herself.

Lu Dieqing was born in the Chaoying palace and had known her origins since she was young. This made her accustomed to being cautious and trying not to worry her parents, so she developed the habit of keeping her thoughts to herself and not troubling others. But in front of her little doll, her heart felt very close.

Zheng Xuening’s mocking mood slowly melted away amidst the little girl’s heartfelt words, turning into another, slightly tighter feeling—the desire to claim this territory as her own, to possess this warm, silly rabbit.

Over a decade ago, not long after her mother, the Empress, had left, that white cat had also disappeared.

It made sense. That cat was so clumsy; anyone who chased it could catch it. Even if it bared its teeth and claws and pretended to be fierce, it couldn’t hurt anyone. Without the Empress to protect it, its fall from grace was only a matter of time. Even though she had searched for that cat for a long time, there was no trace of it.

…Perhaps it had already died on some rainy day.

Zheng Xuening had once thought that such soft, warm things that couldn’t protect themselves were inherently unsuited to exist in the palace. It was just a cat. But after it disappeared, her headaches had grown worse.

Her mother was gone, and the cat her mother had left behind was also gone.

She had lost all warmth overnight. From then on, she had to learn to harden her heart, to scheme and manipulate.

Lu Dieqing was naive, childish, and possessed a soft heart and kindness that didn’t fit her status as a hostage. She was the kind of person Zheng Xuening used to hate the most—someone who, without protection, would be quickly trampled into the mud, unable to even keep her life.

…

The moon shone quietly in the night sky. Lu Dieqing’s excitement passed, and she was finally willing to go back to her room to sleep.

The little girl held her little wooden doll, her sleeping face serene and sweet. Her two rows of lashes gently covered her eyes, so beautiful she didn’t seem real.

Zheng Xuening looked at the girl by the moonlight.

From her eyes, lingering on her nose, then to her lips and neck.

If she were a wild beast, Lu Dieqing was the fool who had personally picked up the beast and placed it by her pillow.

She could feel a dark, scorching emotion slowly reviving in her heart.

It seemed that Lu Dieqing was more suited to be the doll, to be caged, to be possessed.