Chapter 66
Zheng Xuening didn’t know when she had fallen asleep.
In the fifteen years since her mother, the Empress, had passed away, during her days as the Crown Princess, she had never had a good night’s sleep.
She often needed to light sleep-inducing incense in her bedchamber to force herself to relax a little.
But often, the torment of her headaches would render the incense ineffective.
So Zheng Xuening would light a few more sticks of sleep-inducing incense, night after night.
The bedchamber would be filled with curling smoke. The palace maids who tiptoed in would often have to hold back their coughs.
Her chronic illness gave her a reason to be eccentric.
Zheng Xuening was not unaware of the impression the outside world had of her.
People feared her, stayed away from her, and would even gossip about her behind her back.
She often wondered, a person like her, even if she really ascended to the throne one day, could she become a good emperor in the eyes of the world?
If she were truly controlled by her illness and made reckless decisions that disregarded human life, or foolish and paranoid ones, a foolish emperor like her would not only destroy her own imperial power, but also the tens of thousands of common people who were inextricably linked to the Chaoying Kingdom.
The deeper the night, the more thoughts would fill Zheng Xuening’s mind.
Those thoughts were like invisible threads, twisted into a tangled mess, rolling in her mind, unable to break through any exit, and her head would hurt even more.
Sometimes, Zheng Xuening suspected that she would go mad.
Or that her life would be shortened.
The quiet of the night would amplify all of one’s senses. She often felt that Changning Palace was so large it was desolate, as if she were the only person in the world living in this wasteland.
Her pain, her struggles, and all her madness were exiled in such a wasteland.
Her father, the Emperor, was tormented by the shadow of old age, afraid of losing everything of his supreme authority, so much so that after a nightmare, he had sought out a celestial master for divination and dream interpretation.
This was a kind of fear that sought a life-saving straw.
She actually had it too.
But she couldn’t say what she had been afraid of all these years.
It was just that because she was born the heir, this identity had become something that was completely integrated into her Zheng Xuening’s bones and blood, inseparable.
If it were stripped away, she would become an empty person with nothing.
So she had to cling to the position of heir with all her might for that bit of existence.
If she could hold on, she could continue to live a stable life as before.
But if she couldn’t hold on?
Then it would be a thousand pieces, a shattered body, a fall from a ten-thousand-zhang cliff.
Zheng Xuening looked at the girl leaning against the pillow, and the bits and pieces of her eighteen years of existence appeared in her mind.
She had never so clearly and objectively stood in a higher position to examine her birth, her experiences, and even her mental journey.
It was as if she had never truly lived before.
All her efforts were just to not die.
But today, looking at Lu Dieqing so close to her, she suddenly had a feeling that she was only now truly alive.
The little girl’s sleeping posture was always very free, a kind of unguarded, firm belief that this world would not harm her, a trust and purity.
She didn’t know why, but the girl who usually looked so quiet and reserved, even a little introverted and easily shy, would, once she fell asleep, sleep as soundly as a cat in its safe nest, revealing her little belly, her four paws relaxed and open.
Although she wasn’t actually sleeping like a cat with no image to speak of, the way she was wrapped around her like an octopus was pretty much the same.
After leaving the doll’s body and sleeping beside Lu Dieqing, Zheng Xuening truly experienced how earth-shattering the girl’s sleeping posture was.
But strangely, in this unfamiliar feeling, her heart became peaceful, and she even felt that it was good to be alive.
Lu Dieqing’s body temperature was warm, and her heart was even more gentle and clear.
Zheng Xuening raised a hand and gently pulled the corner of the quilt to cover the girl’s exposed shoulder.
Listening to the little girl’s even breathing, she began to feel sleepy.
However, before slowly losing consciousness and falling into dreamland, Zheng Xuening belatedly remembered one thing.
—Tonight, with her person by Lu Dieqing’s side, her soul did not seem to be sucked into the doll’s body again.
It seemed that it was indeed as she had guessed.
As long as she was by Lu Dieqing’s side, she would not become a doll again.
In the future, if she wanted to continue to hide her identity, she would have to pay attention to this point and give Lu Dieqing and the doll space to be alone.
Zheng Xuening closed her eyes and let herself fall into dreamland.
…
The next day, it was bright.
Lu Dieqing woke up and looked around.
The surroundings were bright, the furnishings extremely luxurious, and there was no one in the bedchamber.
She rubbed her eyes and looked at the side of the bed.
The side where the Crown Princess had slept was already empty, not even a single wrinkle.
Even the Crown Princess’s quilt, wait…
Lu Dieqing sat up and stared at the place where she had been lying, stunned.
She had been lying in the middle in a star-shape!
So had the Crown Princess left late last night, or at dawn?
Lu Dieqing held her head and thought for a while, her hair all messed up, but she still couldn’t remember anything.
She only felt that she had slept very soundly last night.
She began to recall everything from last night. She had done so many outrageous things to the Crown Princess.
Not only had she pressed down on her, but she had also pinched the Crown Princess’s face.
Lu Dieqing, how could you be so audacious.
The girl looked at her two small, fair hands, remembered what they had done last night, and couldn’t believe it herself.
“Aiya! Caiyun Academy!” Lu Dieqing suddenly remembered that she had to go to the academy today.
Not only today, but also tomorrow, the day after, and every day after that.
The moment she made a sound, Helian’s voice came from outside.
“Master, are you awake? This servant will go and get you ready for washing and grooming.”
Lu Dieqing’s lips parted. She got up to get her clothes.
Helian had already handed over the prepared academy dress. Lu Dieqing hesitated for a moment, then took it and quickly changed in the bed canopy.
After living for so many years, this was the first time she had been… served like this. Lu Dieqing was really not used to it.
Fortunately, Helian also seemed to know her personality and didn’t do anything more. Lu Dieqing was able to barely adapt.
The palace maids came in one after another, carrying basins of hot water and clean towels for Lu Dieqing to wash up.
The girl looked at the six palace maids standing in a row, waiting for her, and looked at Helian with a negotiating gaze.
“I don’t need help…”
She hadn’t expected the Crown Princess to wake up so early and be gone when she woke up.
Now, facing so many palace maids, she was nervous and uncomfortable.
Helian saw the girl’s embarrassment, suppressed the urge to laugh, and waved her hand at the other palace maids.
Those people immediately put the things in their hands on the table and then quietly withdrew.
With fewer people, the sense of pressure was gone.
Lu Dieqing instantly felt much more relaxed.
“Did you sleep well last night, Master?” Helian looked at Lu Dieqing with a beaming smile.
Lu Dieqing’s face-washing movement paused, and she almost knocked over the water basin.
“…It was, it was okay.”
She stammered, a little guilty.
When Helian asked how she had slept last night, her mind was full of how she had been so bold before bed, how she had climbed on top of the Crown Princess and bullied her.
Heavens, Lu Dieqing, you’ve really outdone yourself.
You dared to pinch the face of the heir of the Chaoying Kingdom.
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