Chapter 12

Lin Huayan’s door was only half open when Lou Yixuan suddenly appeared beside her.

Just like when they’d reunited at the class meeting, Lin Huayan froze stiff, her right hand gripping the doorknob utterly powerless.

“Sorry about that.” Lou Yixuan hastily retreated a few steps, pulling back beyond Lin Huayan’s boundaries.

She had once tried and strived step by step a thousand times over to step into Lin Huayan’s heart, but in the end, she still couldn’t cross that line.

It wasn’t that her efforts were useless.

It was that she herself wasn’t allowed.

—Lou Yixuan, I’ve dated men before. You should know I’m not a lesbian. I just can’t accept you.

—Let’s never see each other again.

If she’d heard Lin Huayan say that before they’d been together, maybe she would’ve coaxed her: How do you know you can’t accept it if you haven’t tried?

But those two messages from Lin Huayan—laden with the meaning of a final farewell—had come after they’d done it.

How could she deceive herself anymore?

Tianmu Middle School.

This was the place where Lin Huayan had poured eight years of effort into rebuilding her life.

Lou Yixuan couldn’t selfishly and recklessly vent her emotions anymore, forcing Lin Huayan out of her hard-won stability.

That wasn’t why she’d returned to the country.

“You don’t need to worry about me or hold back around me. I know my limits. I won’t…”

“Teacher Du’s room is probably a mess. She needs to tidy up.”

Lin Huayan cut her off, but she didn’t turn to look at her. She didn’t push the door open either—just stood there like a statue.

“Yeah, I figured.”

Gazing at Lin Huayan’s unmoving profile, Lou Yixuan forced down the bitterness in her heart, trying to liven up her emotions and her voice.

“You’ve been exhausted these past few days. Go ahead and rest inside. I’ll wait by Teacher Du’s door.”

With that, Lou Yixuan turned and headed toward Room 1109.

She didn’t resent Du Heming.

After all, putting her and Lin Huayan in this awkward spot wasn’t Du Heming’s intention.

After all, it was she and Lin Huayan who’d never breathed a word about the past.

Du Heming didn’t keep Lou Yixuan waiting even five minutes—about three minutes later, she flung her door open from inside. But there stood Lou Yixuan by her own door, pressed against the wall near Room 1108.

“Teacher Lou, how did you…” Du Heming craned her neck to peer left down the hallway. Lin Huayan was gone.

“It was my bad—I didn’t want to bother Teacher Lin,” Lou Yixuan said, taking the blame.

Hearing the explanation made Du Heming feel even more like smacking herself. She hurried out and tugged Lou Yixuan inside.

Lin Huayan might seem unapproachable, but Du Heming had been in her room a few times herself.

That was why she’d taken it upon herself earlier.

“Sorry, sorry—my fault! Come on in. Chair, sofa, bed—sit wherever. I’ll get you some water. There’s chilled mineral water and sodas in the fridge too. What do you feel like…”

…

Tonight was the first group dinner after school started, falling right on Teachers’ Day and the mini-break after military training. Drinking was inevitable to liven things up.

None of the female teachers were driving, so grabbing a cab would be faster than waiting for a designated driver.

Lou Yixuan would definitely take her car.

“Teacher Du, ride with Teacher Lou and keep her company. Teacher He, Teacher Wang, and I will cab it over.”

Lin Huayan was methodical and decisive—when she said it, it was done.

Her longtime colleagues knew that, and so did Lou Yixuan.

“Alright then, see you at the restaurant.” Du Heming linked arms with Lou Yixuan and bolted, not daring to hand the little fairy over to Lin Huayan after the dorm fiasco.

She was afraid the soft, gentle little fairy might start doubting herself and life itself after repeatedly bumping into walls with Director Lin.

Better for people their age to stick together.

In the garage, Du Heming yanked open the passenger door but didn’t hop in right away. “Lou Lou, this new car of yours… Can I sit shotgun?”

“Of course. Why ask?”

“You seem like such a neat freak. I was just worried you might have a partner who’s picky.”

Du Heming clambered in, buckling her seatbelt with a grin. “Some partners are so possessive, they even claim the passenger seat in their love’s car. Better to check and avoid any mix-up.”

Lou Yixuan had heard of such cases and got her concern. “I don’t have a partner.”

Once inside, she slipped on both earbuds and connected to her phone’s Bluetooth. “Teacher Du, punch the restaurant address into the center console nav, yeah?”

“OK.”

The white sedan pulled out the South Gate, just in time to spot Lin Huayan and the other two piling into a blue taxi.

Du Heming figured Lou Yixuan would roll down the window and wave hello or something. Instead, she stared straight ahead, yanking the wheel right onto the main road without a glance.

Her expression? Downright… cold.

Guess I don’t know her well enough yet.

Everyone had multiple sides.

Everyone had their sunny, optimistic face—and their gloomy, dark one too.

No one could smile at the world every second or cater to others nonstop.

For easy QR code scanning later, Lin Huayan took the passenger seat without much chatter, while He Huan and Teacher Wang sat in back.

“Isn’t that Teacher Lou’s car up ahead?”

Lin Huayan gave a soft “Mm,” answering He Huan.

She stopped her phone map search, locked the screen, and told the driver, “No need for nav. Just follow that white sedan ahead with plates Huai A·XXXXX.”

The driver squinted, locked on the target, and replied, “Got it.”

“She’s driving slow—tail her at the same pace.”

“Will do.” The driver couldn’t help a sidelong glance, thinking this stern-faced big sis was surprisingly considerate toward the “driver” of that white car.

At a red light, Lou Yixuan turned right, her brows and eyes softening back into a smiling, delicate warmth. “Teacher Du’s gone quiet all of a sudden. I’m not used to it.”

Seeing Du Heming listless, she added, “Tired? Take a nap—I’ll wake you when we get there.”

It’s my fault for showing up and delaying her rest.

Du Heming suddenly perked up, uncharacteristically serious. “Not tired. Just thinking if I should come clean about something.”

“About me?”

“Sort of, sort of not.” Du Heming hedged, still waffling.

“If you want to tell me, I’ll listen. If not, I respect your privacy—no prying.”

The car merged smoothly into a more congested lane.

Rush hour on a weekday—stop-start traffic was the norm. Lou Yixuan stayed patient, neither cutting in nor blocking.

At another intersection, they hit a full 60-second red light up front.

Du Heming gritted her teeth and confessed. “Teacher Lou, about personal matters—I’m a lesbian. If my orientation bothers you, or if you’re uncomfortable with school colleagues joking about nonexistent ‘chemistry’ between us and blowing it out of proportion, I’ll keep my distance from now on.”

She’d accepted her sexuality early on. Her first love was a sneaky college fling—the other girl dumped her right after graduation.

Two years later, she even got a wedding invite—from that girl’s marriage to a man.

It pissed her off so bad she nearly cursed them out.

Her second relationship lasted three years, ending the year same-sex marriage was legalized—just as she mustered the courage to come out to her parents, her girlfriend cheated with a female coworker, gifting her a blindingly green cuckold’s hat.

After that, she’d kicked the closet door wide open, coming out to parents and friends alike.

From then on, she loved women… and feared them.

Thanks to her first love and ex, she’d been single for years.

She couldn’t change who she liked, but she dreaded starting another relationship.

Afraid of becoming a joke for the third time.

She’d stayed free and easy, single to this day—practically love-incapable now.

Lou Yixuan had suspected as much and showed no surprise. “Do the other teachers know? Teacher Lin, Teacher He?”

“They definitely do. Not sure about other grade groups. There are more than a few gay teachers at school—it’s not some shameful secret, but we’re not shouting ‘I’m gay!’ from the rooftops either.”

“It’s been a long road from controversy to acceptance.” Heterosexuality had always been the mainstream, after all.

“So…”

“So, I don’t mind.” Lou Yixuan smiled at her, her dimples dancing adorably.

Like two sugar candies, melting straight into Du Heming’s heart.

Du Heming’s heart fluttered hard—but Lou Yixuan’s next words snuffed it out in the bud, no mercy.

“Teacher Du, thanks for being honest with me.”

“Courtesy demands reciprocity, so I’ll be honest too. Like you, I’m a lesbian.”

“And I have that one person—irreplaceable. I’ve liked her… for many years.”

From school days to now, from youth to adulthood—many years.

Hearing this, a flicker of hurt flashed through Du Heming’s heart. But in seconds, it was replaced by a strange thrill and burning curiosity.

Intensely so.

What kind of heavenly beauty could win the little fairy’s heart? How sky-high must her standards be to leave her single?

Or maybe…

“Many years with no result, and you still hold on? You’re really devoted. Never thought of giving up?”