Chapter 20

“Dad, Mom didn’t do anything wrong to me. It’s I who hurt her, I who let her down, I who broke my word, I who committed the ultimate filial impiety, I who…”

Should go to hell.

—You be honest with me. Did your sudden decision to return to the country have anything to do with that person from high school?

—Yes. But I didn’t come back to do anything with her. I just wanted to see if she was doing well. If she was, I wouldn’t stay long in the country. I’d go back to Australia…

—And if she wasn’t doing well?

—Mom, I’m sorry. I know I’ve hurt you again, let down your expectations, been unfilial, but…

—Enough. Don’t bother admitting fault—I don’t want to hear it. You did nothing wrong. It’s I who was wrong, for bringing you into this world without your consent and forcing you abroad against your will. Eight reluctant years in Australia—how you’ve suffered.

—Mom, that’s not true. I wasn’t reluctant…

—Listen up. Your dad and I don’t need you to take care of us in our old age. I don’t need your apologies. You’ve spread your wings now, can fend for yourself. Go wherever you want, be with whoever you want—it has nothing to do with me. Pretend I… never gave birth to you. You’re free now, Lou Yixuan.

She knew that in her mother’s eyes, she was an obstinate and unteachable daughter, an ultimate unfilial child who abandoned her parents for an impossible, forbidden love.

But she truly had no other choice.

She had tried every method she could think of, but she simply couldn’t let go or forget Lin Huayan.

She just wanted to see Lin Huayan one more time, to see her living well, to see her loved and accompanied.

Yet even this tiny wish, heaven wouldn’t grant her.

Her daughter’s choked sobs moved Lou Weizhao. He cleared his throat, his tone softening, laced with a nasal twang.

“Yixuan, Dad’s sorry to you too. All these years, I never gave you any fatherly love. So it’s only natural—you don’t owe me any concern or care.”

“But your mom—she loves you deeply. All these twenty-plus years of care she’s given you, I don’t believe you haven’t felt it. I’m not asking you to stay by our side and fulfill your filial duties, or to call every day to check on us. If you still recognize her as your mom, just keep an eye on the weather in Australia when you have time. And take good care of yourself.”

“No matter what, I’m still your dad. If there’s ever anything I can help with, just say the word.”

Lou Weizhao hung up.

Listening to the busy tone on her phone, Lou Yixuan’s ears rang fiercely until the tinnitus faded. Only then did she open an app to check the weather in Australia.

It should have been a season of blooming flowers and warm spring breezes, but an freak cold snap had brought persistent rain and plummeting temperatures.

No wonder Mom looked so pallid tonight. No wonder Dad had come at her so aggressively—Mom’s arm must be aching again.

A wave of self-reproach and guilt engulfed her, and the ringing in her ears surged back.

On this clear, starlit night in Huai’an, Lou Yixuan felt as if she’d been cast into Australia’s torrential downpour.

Mud squelched underfoot, violent rain lashed from above.

Soaked through, she shivered uncontrollably.

Endless storm, endless chill, skies shrouded in endless darkness with no dawn in sight.

Clinging desperately to her phone, she yanked off her earbuds with her right hand and gripped them as if to crush them, fingers clenching tight.

Ding.

Just before the screen timed out, a WeChat notification popped up, startling Lou Yixuan awake.

Lin Huayan had accepted her friend request.

Staring at the dialogue box, at Lin Huayan’s profile picture beside the system message—I’ve approved your friend verification request. We can chat now—tears gushed from Lou Yixuan’s eyes in an instant.

She cried and laughed, laughed and cried, collapsing onto the carpet.

Fate loved toying with the scales.

Imposing what it deemed “fairness” on humanity.

Sniffling, her vision blurred by tears, she messaged Lin Huayan: [Teacher Lin, Happy Mid-Autumn! ]

Lin Huayan replied almost immediately: [Happy October, Teacher Lou.]

…

On October 7th, Lou Yixuan and Lu Lingxuan—two big kids—took little kid Nannan on a city walk.

They snapped plenty of photos, and she posted a few to Moments.

All food shots and scenery, no people in them. Her Moments never featured human subjects.

Teacher He and Teacher Du liked them, along with a few colleagues from Haifan. Her godmother and Ya Ning-jie liked them too.

Lin Huayan didn’t. Neither did her parents.

Since returning to the country, none of her posts had gotten likes from her father.

Before her return, every post she made every couple of weeks had his like.

This one probably wouldn’t get even a “read” from him either.

Of course not. Father loved Mother so much—how could he forgive her before Mother did?

After a full day of fun, Nannan curled up in the back seat, dozing off. Lu Lingxuan whispered to Lou Yixuan, “Tomorrow’s your birthday. You really won’t make any time for us?”

She wanted to give Lou Yixuan a proper birthday celebration.

Not just red envelopes and gifts with a quick “Happy Birthday.”

Her own life was perfect now—wife and daughter, smooth sailing. Her parents adored Xu Yaning as their daughter-in-law and Nannan as their granddaughter. Peak life, really.

But Lou Yixuan had come back alone, starting from scratch.

Fighting solo.

It sounded… so tragic.

“I have classes during the day. I’ll head to my aunt’s in the evening.” Lou Yixuan closed WeChat and tucked her phone into her bag.

“Your godparents aren’t even in the country, and here you are, rushing off to show filial piety. Running between houses—how exhausting.”

“No one asked me to go. It’s my choice.”

I want to do something for them.

Going to Little Uncle’s was mainly for Grandma, who had raised her father. Going to Great Aunt’s was because Great Aunt had always been good to her mother.

“Speaking of godmom—has she cooled off? I only dared send a blessing message yesterday. Didn’t even try voice or video.”

Lu Lingxuan felt guilty because Lou Yixuan’s return was tied to her.

Though Lou Yixuan had insisted it wasn’t her fault, and Lady Zhao hadn’t blamed her, Lu Lingxuan couldn’t shake her thief’s guilt toward her godparents.

If she hadn’t leaked that Lin Huayan was at Tianmu Middle School and still single, their happy family of three would still be blissfully reunited in Australia via video call last night.

“Mom knows why I came back.”

“Huh?”

“She knew before I left the country.”

“Wait, hold on—information overload.” Lu Lingxuan’s brain couldn’t keep up, and she didn’t want to distract from driving.

Lou Yixuan fell silent. Nothing to hide from Lu Lingxuan.

If anyone in the world truly cared for her from the heart, understood and supported her love for Lin Huayan, it could only be Lu Lingxuan.

Even the steadiest emotions could reach a breaking point.

At this stage, she didn’t need pep talks. She just needed someone reassuring to listen.

Lu Lingxuan pulled into the garage of Lou Yixuan’s apartment and glanced back at sweetly sleeping Nannan.

She stopped Lou Yixuan’s hand on her seatbelt, her expression grave. “Before the car accident, or after?”

She felt the hand beneath her palm tremble.

Then came Lou Yixuan’s reddening eyes.

Lu Lingxuan heard her say, “The day of.”

Those two words made Lu Lingxuan grip the back of Lou Yixuan’s hand fiercely.

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. She even started to regret telling Lou Yixuan about Lin Huayan.

Lou Yixuan forced a bleak smile. “It’s all in the past. Mom’s doing great now. Loving marriage, smooth career. Except that arm from the fracture can’t lift heavy things anymore, and the old injury aches terribly on rainy days—otherwise, everything’s fine.”

“And you? Are you fine?” Lu Lingxuan’s lips quivered. “How could you be? I’m sorry, I…”

“Lingxuan.”

Lou Yixuan turned her hand over, gripping Lu Lingxuan’s in return. “The path I chose, the seeds I sowed—no blame on others, no regrets for myself.”

Death is but a fleeting glance.

Nothing could be worse.

“My big baby.” Lu Lingxuan’s voice turned mushy as she pulled Lou Yixuan close. “C’mere, let me hug you.”

Lou Yixuan leaned in, chin on Lu Lingxuan’s shoulder, eyes closed, listening as Lu Lingxuan murmured against her right ear: “I’m always here.”

…

On October 8th, her 26th birthday, Lou Yixuan messaged her long-uncontacted mother.

[Dearest Mom, thank you for bringing me into this world 26 years ago. It’s my greatest fortune. Wishing you health and joy. Happy birthday to me.]

Lady Zhao didn’t reply.

After the National Day holiday, Lin Huayan and Lou Yixuan met again in mid-October.

The 15th, a Wednesday.

Lou Yixuan arrived early, parking at 11:30 a.m. and heading to the Teaching Building to find Du Heming.

She’d made a special trip to a cake flagship store for the Mid-Autumn limited-edition “Flower Moon” deluxe gift box, hoping to surprise Teacher Du with a little joy. But Du Heming wasn’t in her office.

Teacher Du had two classes on Wednesdays—one early morning, one late afternoon—so she should have been around.

Not wanting to wander with the boxes, Lou Yixuan called her.

“Hey, Lou Lou?”

“Teacher Du, are you at school?”

“Yeah, in Teacher He’s office munching on seeds. What’s up—did you get here?”

“Mm, came to grab lunch with you.” Lou Yixuan knew where He Huan’s office was—same floor as Du Heming’s, just across the hall and around a bend.

“A bit early for lunch. Come to Teacher He’s too—chat a bit, then we’ll go together?”

Du Heming wasn’t exaggerating; Lou Yixuan could hear the crunching over the line.

Her tone was as cheerful as ever—no sign she was drowning in grief over a loved one’s death.

“Okay.”

Class time meant empty hallways.

Du Heming, as the chemistry teacher for He Huan’s class, hanging out with her made perfect sense.

Lou Yixuan reached He Huan’s office door and called again. “Teacher Du, could you come out? I’m at the door.”

“Hm? You’re here—just come in. Oh, right, coming!”

Du Heming brushed seed shells off her hands and told He Huan, “Teacher He, I’m stepping out. Don’t toss the rest, okay?”

“…” He Huan laughed with a sigh. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Striding out, Du Heming spotted the massive gift boxes in Lou Yixuan’s right hand. “Lou Lou, what’s this?”

Famous brand—light luxury for cakes. Not unaffordable, but not something a working stiff like her bought year-round.

She’d had it a couple times long ago, with an ex, to win favor.

Lou Yixuan pocketed her phone, shifting one box to her left hand and lifting the other two with her right. “Happy Mid-Autumn, Teacher Du. For you and Teacher He—could you take one in for her?”

The Mid-Autumn wish was a full week late, but the treats’ sweetness didn’t expire. Miss this month, wait till next year.

The school’s pre-holiday mooncakes paled in comparison.

This box alone cost six or seven hundred yuan at least. Du Heming felt it burn her hands.

“Teacher Du, please graciously accept my token. Otherwise…”

Lou Yixuan stepped closer, her aggressive stance delivering the softest plea. “I’ll be sad.”

Who could bear to sadden a little fairy?

Looking like she’d committed a grave sin, Du Heming hurriedly reached out with both hands. “Lou Lou, this is too extravagant. I don’t deserve such unearned reward—let me…”

“Sentiment’s priceless.”

Lou Yixuan deployed her killer move: a pair of adorable dimples. “Accept it, and I’ll tell you—us arts folks have ways to make money beyond teaching.”

Meaning: pricey or not, it was her own earnings.

She wasn’t short on cash.

With salesmanship this charming, refusing would be a crime.

“You’re just…” hopelessly cute and clever.

“No need to thank me.” Lou Yixuan let go with a grin, cutting in. “I’m heading to the third floor for Teacher Lin. Be back soon.”

“Go on!” Go melt Teacher Lin’s composure too.

But as she reached the third floor, Lou Yixuan suddenly got cold feet, worried that the gift box was too flashy and ostentatious, and it might make Lin Huayan uncomfortable.

She thought for a moment and messaged Lin Huayan: 【Teacher Lin, are you in the office?】

The reply came quickly again: 【Yes.】

She knew the person was there, but whether she was alone… Lou Yixuan felt too awkward to ask directly.

She had crossed paths with the math teaching director once before—during the first week’s lunch in the cafeteria, when Du Heming had introduced her.

A woman around the same age as Teacher Wang Li, and she didn’t teach any first-year high school classes.

After dawdling for a bit, she decided in for a penny, in for a pound. She simply opened the gift box and carried the nine individually wrapped pastries toward Room 306.

She knocked three times. “Teacher Lin.”

The door was ajar, and even though it was past the season for air conditioning, Lou Yixuan felt a chill seeping out from the gap.

She shivered.

“Please come in.” It was Lin Huayan’s voice, clear and icy cold.