Chapter 33

Pingxin Town was her father Lin Jiazhong’s hometown, where Lin Huayan had only lived for three years.

To be precise, she’d lived in a village quite a distance from the town, and her childhood memories of the place were nearly nonexistent.

There was nothing here worth making her happy, nor anyone worth the effort. If not for the sake of that human obligation called “filial piety,” and if not for accompanying her parents on their occasional visits to pay respects to relatives and ancestors, she wouldn’t set foot in this place again.

So how could she smile? Treated like an eyesore enemy by that whole family, subjected to all sorts of vicious barbs—how could she possibly smile?

Fortunately, she shared no familial bonds with them.

A few mocking jabs from irrelevant people weren’t worth a second thought.

As a teacher for so many years, how many students had privately cursed her as heartless? She never took it to heart.

The things and people that could stir her emotions were few and far between, and among those rare few, Lou Yixuan and her affairs took up more than half.

Lin Huayan tapped into the chatting app’s built-in emoji pack, but after searching high and low, she couldn’t find a single little yellow face to soothe Lou Yixuan’s “crying hysterically” one.

She did, however, manage to distinguish what the “pouting,” “grievance,” and “pitiful” emojis looked like.

After all, these were expressions she’d never used herself, and no one had sent her for a very, very long time.

【Lin Huayan: How about nourishing food?】

【Lin Huayan: Forget the scarf. Treat me to dinner instead.】

She didn’t want Lou Yixuan to feel aggrieved at all—not even her last shred of rationality would allow it.

【Lou Yixuan: All excited for nothing. I thought it was Teacher Lin treating me.】

【Lin Huayan: Fine. I’ll treat.】

After this message, it took about twenty minutes for Lou Yixuan’s reply to come through.

First came a barrage of screenshots, each one of a restaurant.

Lin Huayan opened them one by one, scrolling down as she went, and counted along the way—twelve in total.

Twelve restaurants of all varieties, Chinese and Western.

She’d eaten at a few, but most were new to her.

【Lou Yixuan: These are all “reliable picks” recommended by my trusted friends and colleagues—no duds. Teacher Lin, pick one.】

The smile at the corners of Lin Huayan’s mouth deepened. She shifted her position, leaning forward over the table, her right hand lightly curved to prop up her chin, her dangling hair brushing her left wrist.

She browsed with keen interest, thinking she could hit them all, one per month—that’d take a whole year.

But soon, another message from Lou Yixuan pulled her back to reality.

The reality where she and Lou Yixuan weren’t quite that close.

【Lou Yixuan: Actually, let me treat. We can invite Teacher Du and Teacher He too. Meal buddies quartet, all neat and tidy.】

Her enthusiasm for picking a restaurant evaporated.

Lin Huayan closed her eyes briefly, took a slow, deep breath, and typed: 【Any of them work.】

Punctual as ever, at 11:50, she took Qingqing’s hand and returned to the hospital, her intentions clear.

“Mom, time to go.”

The ward had fewer people now—Lin Cuidan had gone home, and Lin Chuanyao was off at the cafeteria fetching food.

Behind the privacy curtain, the sister-in-law was breastfeeding the second baby.

Second aunt Liu Yunfen sat on the edge of the bed, while her mother Zhou Chunping occupied the caregiver’s chair against the wall.

Seeing her daughter return, Zhou Chunping stood up without delay, touched Qingqing’s face, and said, “Qingqing, you’re at that age where you’re growing fast. Eat more, and don’t be picky, okay?”

Qingqing glanced at her grandma by the bed before timidly replying to Zhou Chunping, “Great-Grandma Three, I’m not picky. Grandma says I’m like Daddy—eat meat but don’t gain any.”

Zhou Chunping paused, then laughed. “True enough. No one in the Lin family is fat; you’re all tall and slender.”

After saying their goodbyes, as mother and daughter reached the door, Liu Yunfen followed.

She clasped Zhou Chunping’s hand. “Sister-in-law, don’t forget to discuss that thing I mentioned with your third brother and Huayan. We’re all family—we should help each other out.”

Lin Huayan sensed trouble immediately, a wave of disgust rising as she hooked her mother’s arm and pulled her away. “It’s getting late.”

Zhou Chunping didn’t respond. Once out of the ward, her face hardened, and she patted her daughter’s hand. “Don’t worry. We have nothing to discuss with them.”

Lunch was stir-fried dishes at a local spot in town.

Afterward, they set off on the return trip, arriving back in the city around three in the afternoon and pulling into the neighborhood.

Zhou Chunping didn’t get out right away. “Your dad’s home too. Let’s go up and talk it over, get on the same page.”

With her mother in this tone, it clearly concerned her. “Okay.”

Back home, Zhou Chunping pulled out a dining chair and sat, while Lin Huayan and her father sat on opposite ends of the sofa, listening as she recounted “that thing you mustn’t forget” from the ward.

“Your second sister-in-law said Qingqing’s almost old enough for elementary school. Education resources in town are poor, but we have ready-made teachers and resources right here. In short, they want to play the family card again—have us take Qingqing in, change her household registration so she can go to school in the city. Have us, have you, Huayan, raise their kid for them, so she doesn’t ‘lose at the starting line’ like they did.”

Zhou Chunping laughed as she spoke, her own words fueling her incredulity. “That family schemes every way to take advantage of us. Do they think our whole family owes them our lives? And they have the gall to say they’ll cover all the tuition, living expenses—won’t cost us a dime. The audacity.”

“And there’s even more outrageous, more absurd stuff. Lin Jiazhong, do you know your second sister-in-law’s exact words?”

“She said, anyway, Huayan’s dead set against marriage and kids. Huayan’s good to Lin Chuanyao’s children now, and Lin Chuanyao, his wife, and kids will remember it. When Huayan’s old, they’ll repay the kindness by caring for her in her final years, so she won’t go alone and miserable.”

“Listen to that—listen! Is that even human talk? Your wife and I are still alive, and they’re already shamelessly eyeing Huayan’s assets.”

Zhou Chunping grew more agitated, her anger blazing hotter with every word.

She slammed the table. “I’ll state my position first: they can forget it. Lin Jiazhong, if you’re still soft-hearted and want to play the dutiful Lin family son and grandson, fine—we’ll divorce first thing Monday. I’ll live with our daughter after; you can pack up and go stay with your second brother and sister-in-law.”

“I haven’t even spoken, why are you flying off the handle? What divorce—”

Zhou Chunping slammed the table even harder, cutting off Lin Jiazhong furiously. “Truth is, I’ve put up with them long enough. They don’t act human; Huayan and I still do. Even if Huayan gave in, I wouldn’t agree.”

“Mom, I won’t agree either.”

Lin Huayan chimed in. “If you’ve decided on divorce, move in with me. We won’t set foot in Pingxin Town again.”

Feeling the heat now, Lin Jiazhong hardened too. “No discussion. Whoever they send to persuade us this time, it won’t work. Worst case, I’ll beg the Lin ancestors’ forgiveness after I die—won’t drag you two down.”

He didn’t want to end up wife-less and child-less, homeless with one foot in the grave.

“What sin of yours? Huh? What sin?”

Zhou Chunping couldn’t stand his spineless, people-pleasing ways. “You owed your second brother two fingers—we’ve all paid that back for over thirty years with our whole family. Isn’t that enough?”

“That’s not what I—”

“Huayan’s paid back what she owed too. Our family owes no one. If anyone’s owed, it’s us two owing her…”

“Mom.”

Hearing her mother’s choked voice, Lin Huayan went over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You and Dad don’t owe me anything.”

Zhou Chunping, harboring years of pent-up grief, burst into tears on the spot. “How can you say that? We weren’t good parents. Failed as husband and wife, failed as mom and dad—no example set, no security given. That’s why you… why you hate men, marriage, kids so much.”

There was a box of tissues on the dining table.

Lin Huayan turned, grabbed it, pulled out a few sheets for her mother, then set the whole box on her lap.

Zhou Chunping wiped her tears with one hand, clutching the box with the other, laughing through her sobs. “You really are…”

Seeing her calm a bit, Lin Huayan finally opened up. “What I loathe isn’t any of that. What I hate… is myself.”

“Huayan…”

Zhou Chunping grabbed her daughter’s hand in alarm.

Lin Huayan shook her head. “Mom, I do reject marriage and kids, but that doesn’t mean I have no feelings.”

She paused, wrestling inwardly, then seemed to resolve something with a sigh. “If I told you the one I like… is a woman, what would you think?”

Hearing their daughter speak of her personal feelings for the first time—and such a shocking revelation—left Zhou Chunping and Lin Jiazhong stunned speechless.

Same-sex marriage had been legal for years, but old generations’ ingrained views didn’t evolve so easily with the times.

If everyone forgot their roots or went with the flow, ancient customs wouldn’t have survived a thousand years.

After a long, stunned silence, Zhou Chunping steadied herself and set the tissue box back on the table.

She took both of Lin Huayan’s hands. “To be honest, your dad and I have considered it might be something like this. But you’ve always told us you don’t need a man, that you’re committed to independence, living for yourself…”

“That was many years ago.”

“Why didn’t you say sooner?” Her daughter’s wistful regret pierced Zhou Chunping. “That person, she, she… you two…”

“Same-sex marriage wasn’t legally recognized back then, nor socially accepted. If I’d told you, could you have accepted it calmly? Hidden it without resentment? Loved her selflessly, just as you love me?”

Zhou Chunping was stumped.

She thought of how she’d repeatedly pushed her daughter toward blind dates with men, how she’d fed her outdated ideas of men marrying and women wedding when of age. She beat her chest, overcome with remorse.

“I’m sorry—Mom let you down, ruined your romance, your lifelong happiness…”

Zhou Chunping’s lowest hope now was just for her daughter to have a devoted partner in her later years.

Someone to chat with, to support each other, to stay through thick and thin—did gender even matter?

“No, Mom. We didn’t end up together because of me—my ignorance, my cowardice. I let her down.” Lin Huayan’s face twisted in bitterness.

“Is she doing well now? She, you, you all…” Zhou Chunping had so many questions but feared dredging up old pain.

But her daughter didn’t seem heartbroken as imagined. She pulled the tissue from her mother’s grip, tossed it in the trash, her expression softening quickly, her tone gentle and even. “She’s probably doing great. I’ve seen her.”

…

Mid-November, Haifan Art School held its annual campus cultural arts festival.

The outdoor stage, backed by the district government, bore the theme “In the Name of Youth, Forge the Will to Strive,” drawing massive crowds and fanfare.

It had nothing to do with Lou Yixuan, but on Friday evening with time on her hands, she took charge of the art majors’ performing students and went to watch.

During the leadership speeches, as usual, the dean of the film and media department took the stage—Mo Jinyu.

A woman seriously pursuing her career was always so captivating.

Lin Huayan too.

Lin Huayan on stage giving the speech at the military training finale had mesmerized her just like that.

She’d even secretly snapped a few photos, locked away in her private album for solitary viewing.

Looking back, the behavior felt pretty creepy. If discovered someday, no amount of explaining could clear her name.

So she’d uploaded Lin Huayan’s photos to cloud storage.

The phone album held only one: their four-person group shot under the sunset—one of the only two she could show the world. The other was the big military training group photo on the Tianmu office desk.

Down in the audience, someone waited backstage with a thick coat.

As soon as Mo Jinyu stepped off, they draped it over her, lest the night chill catch her.

It reminded Lou Yixuan of that day in the car when Lin Huayan had wrapped the scarf around her.

They were doing the exact same thing—why couldn’t she and Lin Huayan be open about it like Mo Jinyu and Xi Manchu?

If Lin Huayan were heartless, fine.

But she’d cataloged all of Lin Huayan’s affections.

How could she accept that?

Late in the month, on a Saturday, Haifan Art School held a pre-exam rally and academic salon for graduating seniors across majors. The art department invited outstanding alumni—current students at top schools like Jinghua Academy of Fine Arts—to share experiences and boost morale.

The Grade 1 Art Class from Tianmu Middle School collectively headed to Haifan for the academic salon, led by their homeroom teacher Lin Huayan. On the Haifan side, Lou Yixuan teamed up with colleagues from the activities department to handle reception.

The bus arrived at Haifan at noon sharp. Before the students could get restless after it pulled into the school grounds and stopped, Lou Yixuan hurried up through the front door.

Lin Huayan wasn’t wearing her glasses. Her deep black pupils fixed intently on Lou Yixuan.

Seeing that she had something to say, Lin Huayan sat steadily in her seat like a mountain, handing the moment over to her.

Truth be told, while waiting for the bus earlier, Lou Yixuan had made a little bet with herself: Will Lin Huayan wear her glasses today or not?

If she does, I’ll just be a proper tour guide.

If not, then on top of guiding, I’ll extend one more invitation.

Lou Yixuan nodded to Lin Huayan in the front row, then clapped her hands to quiet the students.

“Kids, I’m thrilled to be the one kicking off your Haifan day tour. The itinerary today is simple, but the content? Not so much. Make sure to take in every part with your eyes and your heart—really soak it in and feel it. Because in just two years, this will be your path too.”

“No more chit-chat.” She flashed the badge hanging from her chest. “Once you’re off the bus, stick with the teachers wearing blue badges and head straight to the second floor of the cafeteria for lunch. The first ones done can take a stroll around campus—just don’t wander too far.”

“12:45 sharp, meet at the basketball court in front of the cafeteria. I’ll be there with two other art teachers to take you to Haifan’s exhibition hall and the Hall of Fame.”

“2:30 in the multifunctional auditorium: a sharing session with top-school alumni on study tips and exam strategies. My advice? Ask away—don’t hold back. Dig into their black history if it interests you, but keep it to professional stuff only.”

“There’s an old saying: what goes around comes around. Today, they’re the ones paying it back. In three years, four years? It’ll be your turn.”

“Got it? Be good, all of you—I’ve got chocolate for you next week. Zhang Xiao, you three art class reps especially—stay extra vigilant today. It’s on you to keep everyone from getting lost.”

“Got it, Xuan Sis! We’ll be super good!”

Zhang Xiao shot to her feet with a loud reply, arms slung over the seatback in front of her as she beamed excitedly at the homeroom teacher. “Teacher Lin, last time it was you and Xuan Sis who treated us to ice cream. This time too, right?”

Lou Yixuan hadn’t expected her usually cheeky class rep—the one she bantered with all the time—to drag Lin Huayan into it.

Don’t these kids usually steer clear of their homeroom teacher?

She quickly gestured for Zhang Xiao to sit back down, already opening her mouth for some mock scolding: “You lot…”

Then a hand landed softly on her shoulder, drawing her attention—Lin Huayan’s.