Overly Intense [Criminal Investigation] 162

Chapter 162: The End (Part 2)

There were many people who came to pay their respects during the Spring Festival.

Ever since the ban on smoking, the people who paid their respects had changed from burning paper to placing bouquets of flowers.

The two of them walked up the long, narrow stone steps. The cypress trees on both sides were a deep green, and there was still color even in the winter. Although they were on the top of the mountain, the wind became quieter and quieter as they walked, as if it were leading the way for the deceased and did not want to disturb them.

Qin Luo followed Shen Yiyi for a long time before they reached the tombstone.

The photo on the tombstone had been worn gray by the wind and sand, but you could still see the outline of her features. She was wearing a plain cheongsam, gazing quietly, her eyes and eyebrows curved in a smile.

Qin Luo stood on the side, her heart gently pounding.

This was completely different from the old materials she had collected online. In those photos, Shen’s mother was a rebellious artist, but today, she did not seem to be a fierce woman.

Shen Yiyi bent down and arranged the large bouquet of flowers that the two of them had bought, and then took out a tissue to carefully wipe the photo. Her fingertips stroked the last stroke of the name. Qin Luo did not rush her and just stood silently beside her. They were separated by a tombstone, and besides the wind, there was only the silent truth of so many years.

“Another year.”

Shen Yiyi’s opening was too cold, even colder than the enthusiastic greeting that Qin Luo would give when she went to see her father. This made Qin Luo particularly sober, and she realized that Xu Meng had been sleeping here in the form of dust for many years.

Her heart ached with her, and she subconsciously turned to her side.

Shen Yiyi spoke slowly, her voice divided by the wind in the mountains. “It’s been a long time since I’ve come to see you. I was too busy with work and didn’t even come to pay my respects during the Qingming Festival. Don’t blame me.”

She had not been here in a year.

First, she was indeed very busy with work. Second, she had been tired of searching all these years. The more relaxed she was, the more she wanted to avoid it. She did not dare, and she did not know how to see her mother.

Every time she stood here, saw the photo on the tombstone, and saw her name carved into the stone in black, flat and cold, her hatred would grow, like a stubborn disease.

Shen Yiyi’s voice was very soft. “Her name is Qin Luo.”

Her eyes were calm, and she naturally introduced her partner to the person she had not seen in a long time. “I mentioned her to you in high school.”

She remembered that it was also the Spring Festival, and Qin Luo had been out of touch with her for several days. Shen Yiyi, who had been defeated by separation anxiety for the first time, had had her father take her to see her mother in the middle of the night.

At that time, she had been standing here, telling her mother a lot about Qin Luo and the troubles of her adolescence.

The girl who had loved to read novels, had been bad at math, was tall, and had worn glasses, had now come to her mother’s side. When she mentioned her name again, she had already become her partner.

“We’ve walked a long way to be together again.”

Shen Yiyi’s speech was slow. The past was summarized in a few words, without saying good or bad, without telling of joy or sorrow. “I came here today to tell you this news.”

Qin Luo looked at Shen Yiyi’s gradually stooped back, as if it were carrying a thousand pounds, and her expression was full of an endless disappointment. Qin Luo reached out her hand and gently held her back, supporting her, wanting her to stand up straight.

Qin Luo faced the tombstone with a rare gentleness. “Auntie, I’m Qin Luo.”

She was greeting a woman she had never met before.

“Don’t worry. We’re still working hard on your case.” Qin Luo said for the Shen Yiyi who did not dare to speak, “Although the progress is slow, there is also a lot of good news.”

Shen Yiyi looked sideways and saw the smile on Qin Luo’s face. Compared to her own disappointment, Qin Luo was the one who had the expression she should have when she came to see an old friend during the Spring Festival.

Qin Luo didn’t quite understand what kind of role a mother should be, but she knew that a child hoped to be loved. “I know you saved her with all your might. You must have hoped that she would live a good life. You can rest assured now. She is working hard.”

“Yes.”

Shen Yiyi forced a smile and nodded. “Yes, I’m starting to learn how to live a good life again.”

Although there was a black hole in her heart, she was trying her best to fill it, little by little.

Shen Yiyi grabbed the hand that was stroking her back and held Qin Luo’s wrist, standing firm in the wind. The sky was gradually getting dark, and she couldn’t tell if the figure in the distance was an obsession or if it really existed.

She thought, even if Qin Luo hadn’t come back to her, she should have stopped this painful torture.

The real problem in life is never in the choice.

She finally no longer regretted it.
She did not regret giving up her feelings for her obsession, nor did she regret letting go of her obsession for stability.

How much freedom plus how much fate, how much obsession mixed with how much giving up. The taste of life, whether it is too strong or too bland, has to be tasted personally to know the sweet, the bitter, the sour, and the spicy.

“Mom, I will live a good life.”

Mom.

The choice of memory is always very strange. I don’t understand why a precious past has to be filled with cruel pain.

I can’t remember his appearance, but I remember the hands that were blocking the door. Too much hatred will make me be controlled by fear. Too little hatred will make survival ridiculous. Fear is always flowing in my body, and a thick fog is always surrounding me. They manipulate me, control me, and make the colors in the world always gray.

Mom.

Everyone has fantasized about hiding in the sea, but no one dares to indulge in it for a long time. I am so lonely. The repeated confirmation of the past, the strong pursuit of the answer, the undiluted past, will settle in my soul and become the root of a dull pain.

The overly intense disappointment has become a stone stuck in my chest, and I can never swallow it. It is extremely suffocating.

Mom.

I hope that next year will be a spring with a slow rise in temperature.

There will be no bugle, no ceremony, only no more dreaming of that locked door all night, no more taking all the pain as my own.

Mom.

I can hear other sounds now.

The ginger and garlic on the cutting board, the weather that Qin Luo reminded me of before I went out, the stutter of the curtain track, the never-stopping dryer at home, they have rushed into my ears. Some truths cannot be known through searching. They are hidden in the cracks of time, in the eyes that look at the world. I hope that its existence has not taken up too much of my courage. I have been here before, and now I have to leave. While there is still time, I should go and read a new mountain.

This is not a correction. This is bringing a new love in life into an old wound to continue.
It is a new start.

Mom.
I know you will definitely be happy for me.

“Auntie, I will live a good life with her.”

The wind swept down from the top of the mountain, and the temple in the mountains rang its bell at the hour, like a response from the depths of the mortal world. Qin Luo held her, held her gradually straightening outline. Under the streetlight, there were only the two of them, their elongated shadows, and nothing else.

It wasn’t until the two of them had gone down the mountain and had gotten into the car that the always taciturn Shen Yiyi finally couldn’t help but cry, even more fiercely than Qin Luo had that day. Qin Luo did not comfort her and had to reach out and turn off the air conditioning and the music, and held the steering wheel, waiting silently.

For some reason, in the gap of waiting, Qin Luo had sent a message to Jiang Yan, saying that she would take Shen Yiyi back for dinner at night.

When they got home, Shen Yiyi’s eyes were already swollen from crying. Seeing Jiang Yan greet her with a smile, and the slippers that had been prepared in the entryway, the corners of her slightly swollen eyes began to turn red again.

Jiang Yan had not expected Shen Yiyi to be in such a state during the New Year. She was startled and asked with heartache what had happened, why she was crying like this.

Qin Luo was direct and said that they had just come back from paying their respects, which had blocked all the comforting words in Jiang Yan’s stomach. She had to hide in the kitchen to cook.

Jiang Yan still remembered what Shen Yiyi liked to eat and had made a table full of old dishes. When she was serving the dishes, she had specially placed the vegetarian dishes she liked in front of her.

This was not the small, low house that the Qin family had lived in before, which was damp and cramped in the winter, and the table was not a wooden round table. But the three of them seemed not to have changed. Jiang Yan still liked to put food in Shen Yiyi’s bowl, and her mouth was still full of reminders.

“I remember you used to like this dish very much.”
“Qin Luo’s schedule is very chaotic. She always doesn’t eat. You can’t learn from her.” But now Jiang Yan had learned to use public chopsticks, knowing that it was clean and hygienic. She picked up a chopstick of Hangzhou white cabbage and put it in Shen Yiyi’s bowl. “I heard from Qin Luo that you had a stomach surgery before.”

Qin Luo corrected her, “It was an appendectomy.”

“Then the appendix is also in the stomach.” Jiang Yan said seriously, “You’re not young anymore. You have to learn to take care of your body now. You should exercise when you should, and you can’t always sit in front of the computer.”

“Yes,” Shen Yiyi nodded.

Qin Luo frowned and took a bite of her rice. “Then if I can make money by lying down, I definitely won’t sit.”

“You’re such a rebellious child.” Jiang Yan also clicked her tongue, but then she looked at Shen Yiyi and smiled. “Little Shen is still the best. She listens to whatever I say.”

Shen Yiyi quickly swallowed. “Auntie, we’ll take care of our bodies. You should also have regular check-ups.”

Jiang Yan waved her hand. “What’s there to check? At my age, a major illness can’t be cured, and a minor illness doesn’t need to be cured.”

“Then none of us should say anything to each other.”

…

Shen Yiyi was caught between the mother and daughter. She was not as restless as in the past. Instead, she ate her own food. She had cried too much just now and was very hungry. The only thing she could do was to listen to Qin’s mom’s nagging with her left ear, and to agree with her a couple of times, and then to listen to Qin Luo with her right ear, and to nod in cooperation.

If Jiang Yan asked in the middle, “Little Shen, do you think I’m right?”
Shen Yiyi would also look up and look at her, and would say “mm” calmly and seriously twice, and then would continue to eat with her head down.

A mother who had someone to back her up did not have to carefully ponder her daughter’s moods. A daughter who had a lover did not have to guard that line of defense and distance.

None of them cared if they would be better tomorrow. Jiang Yan only cared if her cooking skills had regressed. Qin Luo only cared if Shen Yiyi was happy. And Shen Yiyi was feeling Qin’s mom’s love. The feelings that she had had a hard time having in the past had a gentle outlet.

After dinner, the two of them were walking in the newly built park nearby.

Looking up, Qin Luo’s house had turned into a streak of light in the gap between the buildings, a small light squeezed in the air, replacing the stars, and was floating in her eyes.

Qin Luo was afraid that she would fall and took the initiative to hold out her hand. Shen Yiyi half-rested her hand on her wrist and walked forward, dawdling.

“Can’t you just stay at my place tonight?”
“No.”

Qin Luo did not want to be separated from her. “Then can I tell your dad and go to your place?”
“Oh my, my grandmother is at my place.”

Qin Luo said, “What if I go secretly at night?”
Shen Yiyi turned to her side and looked at her. “It’s not like we won’t see each other again. Can’t we be separated for a day?”

Qin Luo pouted. “Won’t you miss me?”
“So-so.”

Qin Luo was not satisfied with this answer. She pulled her into her arms. “No, you have to say you’ll miss me very much.”

Her red eyes from crying had not yet completely subsided. Even though Jiang Yan had already applied an egg to them, Qin Luo touched her face with heartache. “Otherwise, I’ll kiss you in public.”

Shen Yiyi felt that Qin Luo’s appearance was very reassuring.
This kind of reassurance would awaken her darkness.

Shen Yiyi gently hooked Qin Luo’s neck and, imitating the force of Qin Luo’s first kiss, gently covered the corner of her lips.

“Then let’s kiss.”