Overly Intense [Criminal Investigation] 77

Chapter 77: The Incomprehensible Fate

Qin Luo stood in the very center, and the lighting technician had not yet reacted.

The spotlight was not on her, but on the thirty-something members in the far left. The position was a bit off. When Qin Luo looked over, her body had to move with it. And in front of her were the guests from all sides, including writers, investors, dignitaries at all levels, and celebrities from the entertainment circle.

Qin Luo looked down at her high heels.

The shoes, which cost tens of thousands, had been accidentally stepped on during the social gathering at the entrance. The delicate and fragile surface of the shoes was dirty.

If it weren’t for the fact that her trousers could cover them, the people sitting in the front row would probably be staring at her feet, which would be a loss of face today.

The last time something had made her feel so delicate was not high heels, but the nearly extinct lily of the valley on the top of Mount Lao.

Qin Luo was tired of this momentary worry.

At eighteen, she had indeed wanted to make a lot of money.

She had lived in a self-built house that her father had spent all his savings on. At nine, she had wished for a giant doll when her mother came home for the New Year. At sixteen, she had been terrified by her mother’s words that she wanted to kill her father.

That year, she had sworn: the partner she would find after she became an adult would either love her well or hate her well. She could not be split in two, with hatred lasting longer than love.

She had to admit that falling in love with Shen Yiyi had not started with her looks, nor with her intelligence and courage. It was Shen Yiyi’s family.

She had fallen in love with the mirror image of what she was missing.

A refined father who would patiently communicate with his daughter, wait, and be willing to extend a helping hand to Shen Yiyi anytime, anywhere. Shen Yiyi could refute, could protest, and dared to be dismissive of her good fortune. Qin Luo had given all her imagined plots to Shen Yiyi.

At twenty, when they were separated, Qin Luo, who had just experienced death, had fallen madly in love with writing love poems, immersed in the great poems about life and death, hoping for and watching freedom.

Later, at twenty-five, she had begun to hate love, feeling that the roar of the wind and the resistance of the oar were all because her will had not been filled, and the emptiness had led to her self-pity.

At that time, she had been eager to get rid of the labels of “empathetic,” “sensitive,” and “literary youth,” and had wanted to become a vanguard who could hold a gun and a knife.

These labels had indeed made Logos a success.

At twenty-eight, she had re-entered the sea, becoming a merchant ship in the traffic pool. At thirty, she had moved to Shanghai, moved into a high-rise with a river view, and before deciding to publish Her Kill, she had figured one thing out: a thirty-story building would never be as exquisite as a pavilion pagoda.

Every birthday was an execution ground. She had turned ninety-nine and eighty-one pages, and she still didn’t know what she really wanted.

But she was not completely ignorant.

She knew that she didn’t want a “big daddy,” a big daddy in society, a big daddy among her fans, a big daddy among her clients, and she didn’t want to be anyone’s “big daddy.”

“The atmosphere is very good now. It can create an artistic sense on me. Why don’t the lighting technicians give me a spotlight? I also want to become a unique work of art.”

Humorously, in a farewell occasion, she was asking for a beam of light that could only see her.

Qin Luo did not dare to scan the back row, especially after hearing that Shen Yiyi might be sitting there. She was even more afraid of making eye contact. She didn’t dare to look at the speech in her hand either.

“The original intention of the reading group was to hope that more girls could read good books and find their own sense of belonging in the words.”

“I glanced at the seats here today, and I feel that my original goal was indeed correct.”

“Look.”

Qin Luo stretched out her hand and counted the rows of seats in front of her. “One, two, three, four. These four rows are all men. If a photo of this event were to leak out, I might be on the trending topics again tonight.”

“But it doesn’t matter. I’ve already gotten used to this kind of traffic password. Being infamous is also a kind of fame. I’m also an internet celebrity now.”

The guests were amused by Qin Luo’s cold humor, especially Huang Qihan, who led the laughter and applause.

The atmosphere immediately warmed up.

Qin Luo briefly introduced the achievements of the reading group in recent years on the stage, which was also a public report to the investors and leaders. This kind of grand summary was often used for the bidding of the next quarter, but it was a summary that Qin Luo had memorized by heart. She did not need to show off these achievements. She just wanted to be at ease.

Liu Jia had sat down next to Guo Rui at some point.

“A woman is most attractive when she’s working on her career. Hey, do you remember in high school, how come I never saw that Qin Luo had the temperament of a leader?”

Guo Rui’s gaze was indeed fixed on the Qin Luo on the stage. “You’re right. Don’t you think that in these past few years, Qin Luo has changed?”

“Has she changed?”

Liu Jia crossed her arms and studied her carefully. “Maybe it’s because we’re together every day. How come I feel that she still looks the same as before? As thin as a monkey.”

Guo Rui stared at Qin Luo and shook her head. “Not at all. She’s clearly more capable and has a stronger sense of power.”

“Are you saying she’s become more prosperous?” Liu Jia glanced at her and happened to see the empty seat beside her.

And the You Ning next to the empty seat.

Liu Jia gestured with her chin at the empty seat. “Where is she?”

Guo Rui said, “She said she had a work call and went to answer it.”

“Do you think this trick of yours will work?” Liu Jia looked back at the Qin Luo in the spotlight. She was seriously introducing the lead reader, and then there was another round of applause from below the stage.

She also clapped and said, “Just now, when Qin Luo heard that Shen Yiyi was coming, she almost hated me to death. After the event is over, you should take her away quickly. I’m not responsible for cleaning up the mess.”

“Trust me.”

Guo Rui also clapped and said with confidence, “Only if Shen Yiyi comes tonight will Qin Luo really let go.”

Liu Jia rolled her eyes. “Her? A few days ago, when Shen Yiyi had surgery, she was called away with just one phone call. Who would believe that she would let go?”

As an unofficial member of the best friends group, Guo Rui challenged the official member, Liu Jia. “Have you read the books that Qin Luo has written?”

Liu Jia crossed her arms and said, “Isn’t that obvious?”

“Then do you know which of her own books she likes the most?”

“The Red String?”

Guo Rui shook her head. “It’s the one she wrote in high school, Hitting a Rock.”

Liu Jia was surprised. “Huh? She likes this one the most? No? Hitting a Rock was written by her in high school?”

“Hmm? You don’t know? You don’t have her QQ?”

Liu Jia felt it was ridiculous. “Who uses QQ at this age?!”

Guo Rui shrugged. “Qin Luo and I just chat on QQ.”

“You two are almost forty and you’re still playing the nostalgia game?”

Guo Rui shot Liu Jia a look. “Are you sick?”

They had gotten off track.

Liu Jia quickly took out her phone and started to download the old social media software from the App Store. “How do you know that Qin Luo will really let go?”

Guo Rui smiled and secretly leaned into Liu Jia’s ear. “…I’m not telling you.”

Damn it?! She’s playing the childhood friend rivalry game with her at over thirty?

She was not convinced.

But her unwillingness was extinguished on the QQ login page. She had forgotten her QQ number… Liu Jia did not believe it and randomly pressed the screen, and after a lot of effort, she finally found her password.

As soon as she entered, a strange chat system, and the constantly popping up messages from the class group chat, Liu Jia was taken back to the autumn of 2011 by QQ.

That year, WeChat had just been born. She had been crying on the streets of Beijing, complaining to Qin Luo on QQ, and then the other had come from a thousand miles away to rent an apartment for her.

It was still the most familiar grouping of her youth, the special attention that only belonged to Qin Luo. She was still using her childhood profile picture: a pixelated, blurry orange.

“What’s wrong with her QQ?”

It seemed that nothing had changed. Liu Jia felt that Guo Rui was deliberately making things difficult for her.

Qin Luo was on the stage, thanking the work partners of the reading group, from the operations department to the content department. After praising her colleagues, she began to praise her partner.

“Thank you, President Liu of Logos, for the financial support you have given to the reading group over the years, and for every investment you have made, every…”

Liu Jia was not used to Qin Luo calling her President Liu. She buried her head and refused to stand up to respond, her eyes only focused on finding clues.

She clicked on the profile picture, then on the personal information. The updated social media was dazzling. The suns and stars that she had stayed up all night to get in her youth were now worthless.

She didn’t know where Qin Luo’s footnote would be on this page.

Liu Jia anxiously asked Guo Rui for help. “Why is QQ so fancy? Where can I see the personal signature?”

Guo Rui pointed with her finger. “Here.”

After the thank yous, Qin Luo started another topic: “In these past few years, netizens have always criticized me for being cautious and gentle in my speech, and for maintaining a neutral attitude on any event. Some people have described me as having lost my sharpness and having shrunk into a ball of mud.”

“It’s a terrible thing for a writer not to want to express their views. It will make the stories you write lose their skeleton. I’m also afraid of this happening, so I’ve been trying to train myself to maintain my sharpness, to learn and improve through reading. But recently, I’ve come to realize that the reading group has given you another skill, which is to cut off the hard things and learn to filter. And self-media also has this skill. But it will make you harder, and you will single-handedly select a self that you like more.”

“As you all know, I own a self-media company. I know its power in public opinion. Sometimes I’m afraid of its power. I haven’t lost my sharpness, but I hate being an ‘opinion leader.’

Today, I was just chatting on a podcast, but tomorrow it will become a fashionable and advanced view, a popular hot topic, a symbol of a certain ideology. I don’t dare to bear these grand narratives, and I’m also afraid of bearing them. Just like when I wake up tomorrow, I might regret tonight’s speech.”

“So don’t say that Qin Luo is not sharp anymore. It’s not that I’m not sharp, but that I can’t be responsible for what I say for so long.”

“Constantly regretting is precisely the way to maintain sharpness.”

“Whether I struggle or fall, I’m just hitting a small thing. When the person who kicked it leaves, and I no longer blush, that’s when I’ve really hit a rock.”

“Did she write this to Shen Yiyi in high school?” Liu Jia stared at the screen with wide eyes.

This time, Guo Rui rolled her eyes. “You don’t really think Qin Luo is a love-struck fool, do you?”

Guo Rui’s voice was a little loud. You Ning, who was sitting next to the empty seat, was sensitive to Qin Luo’s name, and the two words “love” made her even more curious. She squinted and poked her head toward Liu Jia.

“What about Sister Qin? What about love?”

Seeing that it was the assistant director of the production, Liu Jia had checked her background and felt at ease to lean over. “Little Ning, my cultural level is limited. You’re in the arts. Can you translate this sentence for me?”

Hearing that it was related to Qin Luo, You Ning immediately took out her glasses from her pocket and looked at the screen. “Isn’t this Sister Qin’s Hitting a Rock? The female protagonist becomes a vegetable after a car accident. This sentence is the female protagonist’s understanding of life.”

“You also know Hitting a Rock?” Liu Jia was even more dissatisfied. She pointed at the screen. “Then what does this have to do with love?”

“What love?”

Her line of sight was blocked by a figure. A cold and clear voice made Liu Jia look up instantly.

She saw Shen Yiyi slowly sit down beside her, pick up Liu Jia’s phone, and stare at the words on the screen.

“What? You, a medical student, can understand literature better than me, a journalism student?”

After reading, Shen Yiyi returned the phone to Liu Jia, but turned to look at the dazed You Ning. “I suggest you go back and read it carefully again.”

Then she looked at Liu Jia again:

“That’s not writing about her understanding of life, but about the fate she doesn’t understand.”