I won’t get married either. I will only love you, and once I give in, it grows more and more beyond my control. So I can’t wait to ask you for a promise that marks eternity. Even if it has nothing to do with love yet, at least before you love me, I can lean on it and love you freely and boldly.
…
Shen Jianqing couldn’t see into Qin Yue’s heart. Hearing those words, her steady heartbeat struck against her chest once more, setting her breath trembling.
A lifetime takes one second to say out loud, but living it means countless days and nights that no counting of fingers could tally. For two people deeply in love, that might not be easy either. For them… could it be possible?
Shen Jianqing gave a soft laugh and settled down beside Qin Yue, legs crossed, her expensive high heels hooked in the air. In an instant she became the blazing sun that Guan Xiangchen had described: dazzling and radiant, impossible to look away from.
She turned to look at Qin Yue, and the tip of her shoe brushed against Qin Yue’s calf as she moved.
“Master Qin, before I answer your question, can we settle a score first?” Shen Jianqing said.
Qin Yue pressed her fingertip against the collar and nudged it up. “What score?”
Shen Jianqing: “Why were you ignoring me tonight? I kept kicking your foot to signal you and even sent you WeChat messages. You knew all of it, so why did you still ignore me?”
Because I was jealous. I envied that you’d put on such flawless makeup for a man. He’s rubbing his hands, getting ready to take you from me.
These words could only live in Qin Yue’s heart for now. Said out loud carelessly, this relationship would probably end as swiftly as Shen Jianqing’s declaration that she would never date a woman. Far too risky.
After weighing it for a moment, Qin Yue said, “I wanted to confirm something.”
Shen Jianqing: “What?”
Qin Yue: “On Teachers’ Day the year before last, when you came home drunk, leaning on a female teacher, you said something to me. Does it still hold?”
Shen Jianqing frowned. Why did Qin Yue always remember things from so long ago? Maybe smart people just have good memories.
Once she had an explanation, Shen Jianqing stopped puzzling over it. She gathered her thoughts to recall and soon remembered the events of that Teachers’ Day two years ago.
She had drunk quite a lot that day, her emotions dragged wildly about by the alcohol. The moment she saw Qin Yue leaning over her, her mind filled with nothing but wanting me. She wanted to lose herself in a sea of pleasure, to escape the alcohol’s grip for a while, but Qin Yue kept her distance, teasing her with practiced ease, watching her gasp and moan, yet only looking down at her with cool composure and never going further.
She couldn’t bear it and reached for her hand. But Qin Yue still hovered, cold and calm, tormenting her until she was crying and begging before finally offering her a hint.
“Teacher Shen, will there be other women in your life?” Qin Yue looked down at her. Beneath her unruffled gaze lay an obstinacy without bottom.
Shen Jianqing was shaken and said instinctively, “No. Taking a lover is something I’ll only be impulsive about once in my life.”
“You’re not lying to me?”
“No.”
Her unhesitating certainty seemed to please Qin Yue. And so in the next second, she got what she wanted: the familiar tide, surging like never before.
That day’s sensations had been too profound for even drunkenness to dull.
Shen Jianqing unconsciously pressed her crossed leg down. “‘Taking a lover is something I’ll only be impulsive about once in my life.’ Is that the one?”
Qin Yue: “Yes.”
Shen Jianqing tilted her head and looked at her for a long time, then let out a “Pfft” of laughter. “And here I used to think dating you would be so easy. All an illusion. Master Qin, when you get petty, you’re impossible.”
Qin Yue knew it. But if she didn’t do this, she couldn’t balance her jealousy against the love she could not speak aloud. She was being excessive now, even choosing the excuse that favored herself. She wasn’t content with merely extracting a promise from Shen Jianqing. She wanted Shen Jianqing to say it to her of her own accord.
Shen Jianqing didn’t hesitate. “It holds. It always has.”
That absolute certainty sent Qin Yue’s reason into smug overdrive.
Shen Jianqing didn’t notice. With a long sigh, she finished her earlier thought. “Qin Yue, setting aside whether that statement was true, just the fact that I’m a lesbian means I couldn’t possibly get involved with a man. You really put me through the wringer tonight.”
Qin Yue admitted she was in the wrong, but her reason was riding too high, nearly taking control. So instead of apologizing, she followed its lead and countered, “If you don’t want to get involved, why did you put on such elaborate makeup for him?”
Shen Jianqing blinked. So that was the crux of it. Had she known, she would have explained the first time Qin Yue brought it up in the private room and spared herself the false accusations that followed.
Shen Jianqing rubbed her temple with a helpless air. “Let me put it this way. My life comes with a lot of rules and expectations, and they demand that I always present myself properly in public. So makeup is just the most basic form of social etiquette for me. I never do it for anyone in particular.”
Qin Yue said nothing, quickly running through her few encounters with Chen Wei. Forget makeup; even Chen Wei’s clothes were plain. Then the “rules and expectations” Shen Jianqing mentioned certainly couldn’t refer to the school. If it was about her family… she still knew nothing about it. After all this time together, she had never even seen her make a single phone call to her family. And she still couldn’t ask. The relationship hadn’t reached that point.
But not being able to ask was fine for now. The smugness still leaping through her reason was enough to suppress, for the moment, the negative feelings brought on by the fact that she knew nothing about Shen Jianqing.
Having successfully talked herself around, Qin Yue leaned back into the sofa and savored Shen Jianqing’s satisfying answer over and over.
A few seconds later, an active thought suddenly popped into her head.
“Teacher Shen, when you came looking for me this afternoon, you weren’t wearing makeup. You hadn’t even filled in your eyebrows.” Qin Yue said.
Shen Jianqing let out a light “Hmph” and shot her a sidelong glance. “Your best friend told me you were practically on death’s door. Did you really think I’d have the presence of mind to do my makeup before coming to find you?”
Just as expected.
Qin Yue rubbed the finger still pressed against her collar and hid her smile at the corners of her lips. “Teacher Shen, you were worried about me.”
Shen Jianqing let out a snorting laugh and pinched Qin Yue’s ear with practiced ease. “And I said I cared about you. How come you never remember that? Every single day, you snipe at me at every chance, and today you even set me up. And with all that, you still want me to let you sleep with me for a lifetime?”
“But then again,” Shen Jianqing withdrew her hand and looked at Qin Yue with interest, “what exactly is it about me that attracts you so much? What makes you so devoted?”
Qin Yue looked back at Shen Jianqing. Countless answers rose up within her, but the timing was wrong, so she had to cut them all down and substitute one that had just been mentioned and should be safe. “You’ll only take one lover in your life. If I leave, you’ll be all alone.”
Even that caught Shen Jianqing by surprise. She froze for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Master Qin, are you pitying me?”
Qin Yue said, “It’s caring.”
Shen Jianqing: “Tsk. Copying my words.”
“Think this through.” Shen Jianqing leaned back on one side, her expression open and at ease. “We’re bedmates. We became bedmates because you fell for my looks at the bar, and I later came to you because you hit my kink. Qin Yue, listen to all of that. Which part of it would survive a test? I’m nine years older than you. Before long I’ll be at the age of fading beauty. By then I might still moan and climax from a few careless strokes of your teasing, but what about you? Are you sure you’d still want a woman who’s lost her appeal?”
Qin Yue said, “Or maybe I have my own kink.”
“What kink?”
“You.”
Shen Jianqing’s newly loosened thoughts froze solid once more. Weren’t they supposed to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Could two people without feelings for each other really become each other’s kink? And if there were feelings…
Shen Jianqing frowned, her gaze locked on Qin Yue. Her expression looked open and frank, her gaze calm and bland, without a trace of ripple. Then what she had said was obviously just enthusiasm for sleeping with her.
Shen Jianqing let out a breath for reasons she couldn’t name. Her calf, which she had pressed down at some point she couldn’t remember, relaxed and brushed against Qin Yue’s. She didn’t notice, and instead smiled at Qin Yue with a flirtatious charm. “If that’s the case, then you can sleep with me. As long as you like. A lifetime. As long as you don’t get bored, I’m fine with it.”
Qin Yue watched her every smile and frown. After a moment, she lowered her lashes with a natural blink and said, “Thank you, Teacher Shen.”
Shen Jianqing stood up with a smile. “It’s mutually beneficial. No need for thanks.”
“I’ll go get you some hot water,” Shen Jianqing said.
Qin Yue stayed put against the sofa, watching her walk away. Then she pushed the collar up harder with her finger, pulling the jacket up over her eyes. The jacket was full of her warmth and her scent.
Before long, Shen Jianqing came back and set the hot water on the table. “Getting sleepy?” she asked with a smile.
Qin Yue shook her head inside the jacket. “The light is glaring.”
Shen Jianqing looked up. Sure enough.
She picked up the hot water from the table and blew on it carefully, then tapped the back of Qin Yue’s hand with the glass. “Have some hot water.”
Qin Yue said, “I don’t want any.”
“Again?” Shen Jianqing raised an eyebrow and stared at Qin Yue hidden under the jacket for a few seconds. Then her tone shifted, and she drawled, “Master Qin, are you acting spoiled with me right now?”
Qin Yue answered without missing a beat. “Do you fall for spoiled acts?”
“I do.” She was always more moved by softness than force.
Qin Yue rubbed the hand the glass had touched, pulled the jacket down, and said, “Then yes.”
“Hahahaha.” Shen Jianqing was dying of laughter. “Qin Yue, I believe Zhang Yu now when he says you’re cute. Hahahaha. When you’re not acting like a big shot and not sniping at me, you really are fun.”
Oh. Zhang Yu said. Her blind date’s words were remembered so quickly.
Qin Yue curled a finger around the hair tie on her wrist. Her voice was bland. “What a pity.”
Shen Jianqing: “Pity what?”
“The one who’s been played is always you.”
“…Hiss!”
Shen Jianqing shoved the glass against Qin Yue’s lips and gave it a nudge. “Little Master Shen, do me a favor and keep that mouth shut for a bit, OK?”
Qin Yue lowered her eyes to the glass pressed against her lower lip, opened her mouth, and said, “OK.”
For some reason, Shen Jianqing felt like laughing again. Suppressing the urge, she waited on Master Qin until she finished her water, then checked the time.
It wasn’t even eight yet, and the dinner wouldn’t be over anytime soon. So one way or another, they would have to go back.
Shen Jianqing’s head throbbed. Zhang Yu was far too good at talking. If she was even slightly late picking up a thread, he would effortlessly smooth over those few dead seconds. For someone genuinely on a blind date, that would be a real plus. For her, it was pure torture.
Shen Jianqing raked her hair back in frustration and turned to Qin Yue. “Master Qin, are you really not going to help me?”
Qin Yue was now completely certain of Shen Jianqing’s attitude toward this blind date, and she had also won from her a “lifetime” that was incomplete in meaning yet permanently valid. In reasonably good spirits, she said, “I can help. But I have a condition.”
“What condition?”
“Kick me a little lighter. My ankle’s about to crack.”
Shen Jianqing was startled. She had been so frustrated at the time, unable to show it, that her kicks had likely been all over the place in force. And on top of that, she’d been wearing high heels.
Shen Jianqing’s heart lurched. Moving faster than thought, she bent down and lifted Qin Yue’s pant leg.
…It was not just a little bad.
Shen Jianqing despaired. If anyone ever brought up a blind date to her again, she might just tell them to get lost.
So annoying. Absolutely maddening. Maddening enough that she’d gone and hurt the little sick cat at home.
Ah hahaha.
Shen Jianqing was amused by how easily the words “little sick cat” now rolled off her tongue. She let down Qin Yue’s pant leg and said, “I’ll run downstairs and buy some medicine. It’ll heal faster with ointment.”
Qin Yue didn’t refuse.
The moment Shen Jianqing had brought the water to her lips, she had realized: she loved having Shen Jianqing fuss over her. Not like before, when she was the only one, standing in some unseen place, laying out a set of pajamas for her, straightening a pair of shoes.
Qin Yue watched Shen Jianqing hurry downstairs. Once the slender figure had vanished completely from her eyes, Qin Yue sat up, put on Shen Jianqing’s jacket, and headed toward the private room.
The medicine run took Shen Jianqing less than fifteen minutes, which she thought of as quick enough. But when she hurried back in a panic, she found that the seats they had occupied were now filled by another family. The fruit platter in front of them was nearly empty, showing they had been there a while.
Shen Jianqing instinctively moved to call Qin Yue. Remembering the dismembered “corpse” of a phone on Qin Yue’s table, she froze.
“Excuse me.” Shen Jianqing stopped a passing server. “Did you happen to notice where the girl sitting at that spot went? Tall and slim, long hair, very pretty, but she looked rather unwell. Not much energy.”
The server answered without hesitation. “I think she went to the restroom. Not long after you left, I saw her heading that way.”
Shen Jianqing: “Okay, thank you.”
Shen Jianqing gripped the ointment and strode over. From a distance, her gaze swept the area and suddenly stopped.
By the restroom entrance, Qin Yue was standing with her body turned sideways. Beside her… Ke Liangping seemed to have walked in with a hearty laugh???
Ke Liangping was nearing retirement and worried far too much. Every single person on the team who was single, regardless of age, had received his “attention.” Had Qin Yue not escaped it today either?
Shen Jianqing recalled her own squirming discomfort not long ago, couldn’t hold back a curse, and strode over.
“Why did you come all the way over here? What did Teacher Ke say to you?” Shen Jianqing fired off both questions in an urgent rush.
Qin Yue was unhurried. “We ran into each other when I came out of the restroom. He asked how my stomach was.”
So that was it. Shen Jianqing let out a breath and silently laughed at herself for overreacting.
Qin Yue watched the rapidly shifting expressions on her face, her gaze flickering before landing on the hair sticking to Shen Jianqing’s neck. “Teacher Shen, you’re sweating.”
“Am I?” Shen Jianqing snapped back to the present and brushed at it idly with the ointment tube. “The pharmacy is a bit of a walk from here. I hurried.”
As she finished, Shen Jianqing crouched down in front of Qin Yue without warning. While twisting off the cap of the ointment, she said, “The pharmacist said this one goes on cool. It won’t sting.”
“Pull your pants up a bit,” Shen Jianqing said, squeezing a dab of ointment onto her fingertip.
Qin Yue was still lost in the impact of this scene she had never dared dream of. At the sound of Shen Jianqing’s voice, she clenched her hand hard, then slowly lifted her pant leg and looked down, from her towering vantage point, at the woman she had longed for for so many years.
Shen Jianqing’s head was tilted slightly, her brow furrowed, every movement of her hands impossibly gentle.
Qin Yue watched without blinking. The faint heartbeat in her chest seemed to grow strong all at once, thump, thump, each beat layering on the last, heating her chest from the inside. She blinked very lightly. Her lips parted for a few seconds, then pressed back together with restraint, her thumb digging hard into her index finger’s knuckle.
“How is it? It doesn’t hurt, right?” Shen Jianqing asked, looking up.
The corridor lights were bright, laying bare every trace of tenderness on her face.
Qin Yue met her gaze, and suddenly her breathing lost its rhythm.
“Teacher Shen…” Qin Yue said.
Then she bent down, took Shen Jianqing’s chin in one hand, tilted her face up, and kissed her.
