Chapter 27: After School, I Won’t Wait for You to Walk Together Anymore…

Although Wen Wan Ning tried her best to act unaffected, Shen Jia Yan still sensed her reticence and growing distance.

Back home, whether it was training or studying, Shen Jia Yan found herself distracted.

After finishing everything, she lay in bed, tossing and turning.

Had Wan Ning sensed something? Had she been too obvious with her special feelings? Or was it really just the overwhelming pressure before the college entrance exam?

If it was because of her, then Wan Ning’s current behavior—did it mean she couldn’t accept her, couldn’t accept her feelings…

Maybe even felt a bit disgusted.

The next morning, Shen Jia Yan arrived at school with heavy dark circles under her eyes.

She spent the entire day absent-minded, the only thing she focused on was writing a letter intended for Wen Wan Ning.

During a break between classes, she quietly found Lü Yue and asked her to pass the letter to Wen Wan Ning.

Wen Wan Ning didn’t open the letter right away. She waited until the break before evening self-study.

When Lü Yue stepped out to the bathroom, she opened it.

Simple letter paper, neat and elegant handwriting. Shen Jia Yan’s writing was just like her—every stroke clean and crisp.

“Wan Ning, I can tell you’ve been in a bad mood lately. I don’t know the reason, and you probably don’t want to share your feelings with others either.”

When she wrote those words, Shen Jia Yan’s heart had surged with grievance and sadness. After spending so much time together, she still hadn’t managed to enter Wen Wan Ning’s inner world, hadn’t become someone she could confide in without reservation.

“As your classmate and your desk mate, I want you to be happy. But from our walks home together these past few days, I’ve noticed that no matter what I say, you don’t seem interested, and it doesn’t make you any happier. I can only guess what’s affecting you.”

“Is it me? Have I been too enthusiastic and bothered you?” The letter paper in Wen Wan Ning’s hand crumpled slightly as she gripped it.

“I wonder if I’m overthinking things. If it’s me, I apologize to you. But I really don’t have any other intentions. I just really like you as a desk mate and as a friend. I’m this enthusiastic with all my closer friends too.”

Shen Jia Yan was lying. She wanted to use those words to reassure Wen Wan Ning. She couldn’t take the risk, didn’t want her to hate her, didn’t want her to pull away.

“I didn’t consider that everyone has different personalities and levels of comfort. I might have made you uncomfortable—sorry.”

“If it’s not because of me, but because of the upcoming college entrance exam, I want to say: you’re already amazing. Getting into the Experimental Class from an ordinary one, ranking near the top there—these all prove how excellent you are. Your achievements match your efforts. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Believe in yourself—you’ll be fine!”

Wen Wan Ning sighed.

Shen Jia Yan was always like this, always thinking of others’ feelings first, no matter if she herself was happy or upset, wronged or not.

“I’ve thought about it, and no matter the reason, I won’t wait for you after school anymore. No other meaning—just thinking you might need your own space more than hearing me chatter in your ear every day. Without me around, your mood might recover faster.”

“Last words: Keep it up—you’re the best!”

The handwriting on the letter was neat, but several strokes were noticeably heavier, leaving slight indentations on the paper.

Wen Wan Ning’s fingertips unconsciously traced those marks, imagining Shen Jia Yan pursing her lips tightly as she wrote them, just like she did whenever she restrained her emotions.

The person she had quietly pushed away was actually carefully protecting her feelings.

What she had dodged wasn’t some relationship she might not be able to face, but a heart even more sincere than she had imagined.

Imagining Shen Jia Yan suppressing her own emotions, considering things from every angle for her sake, even using training and class time to write this letter—Wen Wan Ning’s chest suddenly filled with a sour ache.

It was her own dishonesty that had hurt Shen Jia Yan.

When the final self-study session ended and the dismissal bell rang, Wen Wan Ning and Lü Yue walked to the school building entrance. Habitually, she glanced to the right, where Shen Jia Yan used to wait for her, often with two lollipops in hand. But now that spot was empty, save for a few fallen leaves swirling in the wind.

She really had left first.

Lü Yue asked in confusion, “Jia Yan didn’t wait for you today?”

“Yeah.” Wen Wan Ning gave a bitter smile. “She’s been busy lately. She doesn’t walk with us in the evenings anymore.”

On the way home, Wen Wan Ning walked slowly. The letter in her bag felt heavier than its actual weight, its presence pressing against her back with every step.

Once home, she went straight to her desk, pulled a sheet of letter paper from the drawer, and decided to write back to Shen Jia Yan.

The pen tip hovered over the paper for a long time before touching down, then lifting again.

She turned her head, looking at the letter Shen Jia Yan had written beside her.

Her gaze lingered on: “But I really don’t have any other intentions. I just really like you as a desk mate and as a friend. I’m this enthusiastic with all my closer friends too.”

Her doubts and worries were explained away by those words. She should have felt relieved and happy, but instead, an odd emotion rose in her heart.

A bit of… disappointment and reluctance.

At that thought, she snapped back to reality, shook her head to shake off those strange ideas.

After taking several deep breaths to steady her emotions, she picked up the pen again.

The desk lamp cast a warm yellow glow on the paper, and the pen tip finally descended.

“Jia Yan, I got your letter and thought a long time about how to reply. First, I want to apologize for my distance these past few days…”

Here, her pen stopped again. What to say after the apology? That she’d been avoiding Shen Jia Yan because of this relationship she might not be able to face? She bit her lower lip, and a small ink blot spread on the paper.

She started a new line.

“I shouldn’t have distanced myself from you without reason, and even more, I shouldn’t have made you feel aggrieved and sad. You’re my most important friend, and my behavior during this time hurt you—I’m truly sorry.”

“Most important friend.” Wen Wan Ning stared at those words, but her heart felt gripped by an invisible hand. Yes, Shen Jia Yan was her most important friend, but thinking that always brought a sense of loss.

“Thank you for your understanding and tolerance. Lately, I’ve had some troubles, but they’re not related to you. It was just me handling the exam pressure poorly. I shouldn’t have let those emotions affect our relationship, or made you waste time writing this letter to explain and comfort me.”

The lamp’s light seemed dimmer. Wen Wan Ning rubbed her sore eyes and continued: “Right now, the most important thing is the college entrance exam. I don’t want my issues to affect your studies. You’re very smart; you just haven’t focused fully on studying. If you get serious, you’ll definitely get great scores. Let’s both focus on preparing for the exam during this time. I still hope we can get into the same university.”

“Last words: You’re awesome too—let’s cheer each other on!”

She gently blew on the ink to dry it and carefully folded the letter.

Moonlight filtered through the curtain gaps, casting a silver line on the floor. She recalled Shen Jia Yan once saying the moon was her favorite celestial body because “no matter how far apart we are, we see the same moon.”

Right now, she wondered if Jia Yan was looking at the same moon as she was.

※

In the bathroom, Shen Jia Yan turned the water to the hottest setting. Steam quickly fogged the mirror and blurred her vision.

She tilted her face up, letting the hot water pound her closed eyelids. The rushing water filled her ears, but it couldn’t drown out the scenes replaying in her mind: the letter she’d revised multiple times, the anxiety when she handed it to Lü Yue for Wen Wan Ning.

“Will she believe what I wrote?” That thought had lingered since she gave the letter away, growing clearer amid the water’s roar.

“The same enthusiasm I have for other close friends.” She unconsciously recalled the lie she’d fabricated.

How ridiculous. Her whole heart screamed “it’s not just that,” yet when she wrote, she restrained herself desperately, even making the periods perfectly round, afraid a single ink blot would betray her feelings.

She turned off the faucet, and the bathroom fell into eerie silence. Shen Jia Yan wrapped herself in a towel, squatted down, and buried her face in her knees. Her phone sat on the sink, screen dark.

She guessed how Wen Wan Ning might reply—with a letter like hers, a WeChat message, or… no reply at all.

Her heart hung in suspense, beating faster with every silent second.

She received no message from Wen Wan Ning all night, and her dark circles persisted into the next day.

Yawning, she dragged herself into the classroom and slumped into her seat.

Xia Yuxin set out the books for the first period, then turned to her. “You’ve seemed off these past couple days, all listless.” She pointed at her eyes. “And such heavy dark circles. Staying up late training?”

Shen Jia Yan drooped her eyelids, listlessly placed her book on the desk, and said flatly, “With my drum skills, do I need to stay up practicing?”

Xia Yuxin laughed. “Right, right, your professional skills are beyond doubt. A couple beats and you’d have boys and girls swooning.”

“So what’s got you so out of it?” She leaned closer to Shen Jia Yan and whispered, “Is it because of your best desk mate?”

Her secret hit the mark, and Shen Jia Yan froze for a moment before going expressionless and flopping onto the desk again.

Xia Yuxin noticed the subtle change and knew she’d guessed right.

As she flipped through her book, she feigned casualness. “Some things are better said out loud than bottled up. I’m the only one around here who knows the full story—sure you don’t want to talk it out with me?”

Shen Jia Yan wavered at Xia Yuxin’s words.

She slightly lifted her head from the desk, turned it, and flopped down again, facing Xia Yuxin. Frowning, she asked, “You get it?”

“Pfft.” Xia Yuxin struck a pose like a seasoned expert, smugly saying, “I’ve read countless romance novels, movies, and dramas—I’ve seen through all that relationship stuff.” Then she leaned in closer, cupping her hand to whisper, “I’ve read plenty of yuri novels too.”

Shen Jia Yan sighed, sat up straight. “I’ll tell you back at the dorm at lunch.”

Just then, Shao Han walked over with some chocolates and a carton of milk.

She placed them on Shen Jia Yan’s desk and smiled lightly. “Jia Yan, you seem to have no energy lately. Here’s some chocolate to boost you up. Senior year is intense—don’t pressure yourself too much.”

With that, she walked straight back to her seat.

“What’s this about?” Xia Yuxin asked, eyes wide.