Chapter 32: I Can’t Accept Girls

Shao Han walked up to her. “I have some words I want to say to you.”

Shen Jia Yan and Xia Yuxin both froze in place.

It was over, over, over—this had to be a confession, definitely a confession. Alarm bells rang loudly in Xia Yuxin’s heart.

Shen Jia Yan thought for a moment. Some things had to be clarified sooner or later, so if she wanted to say it, let her say it.

“Alright.” She pointed to an empty corner ahead. “Let’s talk over there.” Then she turned to Xia Yuxin. “Yuxin, you head back first.”

“Mm, okay.”

The two of them arrived at the empty corner, one leading the way and the other following.

Xia Yuxin watched Shen Jia Yan and Shao Han’s retreating backs as they headed to the corner, and her heart sank.

“You guys sing first. I’m going to the bathroom,” Wen Wan Ning whispered into Lü Xin’s ear.

Since it was a small private room, there was no bathroom inside. If they needed to go, they had to head to the one outside.

Lü Xin stood up with Wen Wan Ning. “I’ll go too.”

The two pushed open the door and left the room.

Shen Jia Yan leaned against the wall, her fingers unconsciously rubbing the edge of her phone, her gaze lowered, her expression calm. Shao Han stood opposite her, cheeks slightly flushed, fingers tightly clutching the hem of her clothes, her voice trembling a bit. “Jia Yan.”

“Mm.”

The corridor outside the room was dimly lit, and a warm-toned wall lamp in the corner glowed quietly, casting a gentle circle of light.

Shao Han looked at the person across from her.

The light softly outlined Shen Jia Yan’s contours, her hair strands shimmering faintly, her cheeks tinged with a subtle red, her eyes exceptionally bright amid the interplay of light and shadow.

In that moment, she suddenly felt her heart skip a beat.

“You look really good today,” she said softly, her voice squeezed out from the depths of her heart, carrying a tremble and an undisguisable flutter.

“Thanks.” Shen Jia Yan lifted her gaze in confusion. Was that the only reason she had called her over?

Shao Han paused, then curved her lips into a wry smile. “I know saying this now might be sudden, but I don’t want to deceive myself anymore. I want to tell you—I like you.”

As expected.

Shen Jia Yan’s eyes drifted, her mind racing to think of a way to gently reject Shao Han with a joking tone.

“Ah, well, I know.” She forced a smile onto her lips. “After all, my personal charm is pretty strong, right? You’re the same—everyone likes you too.”

“Jia Yan.” Shao Han took a deep breath. “The kind of like I’m talking about isn’t just as friends.” She rubbed the hem of her clothes, the tips of her ears turning a faint pink. “It’s the kind where I’m nervous about your every move, where I overthink, where I care about your every expression…”

“The kind where I want to hold your hand, get close to you, be with you.”

She tightened her grip on her clothes and ventured, “I know this might come off as abrupt, and I don’t even know if you could accept that we’re both girls.”

“But I still want to give it a shot.” She looked up at Shen Jia Yan, her gaze locking straight into her eyes. “Jia Yan, if you can accept girls, would you try with me?”

Shen Jia Yan’s breath hitched slightly, the corridor’s flashing neon lights casting shifting shadows on her face. She could feel the other’s burning gaze.

“I…” Her voice tightened. “Thank you for your feelings. But I can’t accept girls. Sorry.”

It was a lie, but it was the only reason she could think of that might minimize the hurt to Shao Han.

“Isn’t this KTV’s bathroom way too hard to find?” Lü Xin’s voice approached from afar. “Wan Ning, what are you looking at?”

Lü Xin’s voice exploded suddenly behind her, and Wen Wan Ning snapped back to reality, but it was already too late. Shen Jia Yan and Shao Han both turned their heads, four pairs of eyes shining on her like spotlights.

The overhead light’s glow spilled onto her cheeks.

The air seemed to freeze in that instant.

Shen Jia Yan’s expression stiffened on her face, her fingertips unconsciously digging into her palm.

Wan Ning, she… had heard everything?

Lü Xin followed Wen Wan Ning’s line of sight. “Oh, it’s Jia Yan and Shao Han. What are you two talking about?”

“Xin Xin.” Before Shen Jia Yan could react, Wen Wan Ning said softly, “Let’s head back first.” Her voice was so low it was almost inaudible, yet it carried an undeniable resolve.

Lü Xin let herself be pulled away. “Ah, okay. Hey, slow down, wait for me.”

Shen Jia Yan said anxiously, “Sorry, Shao Han. I hope we can still be friends. I’m heading back first.”

With that, she turned and left without a hint of hesitation.

Shao Han watched her departing back, her heart plummeting heavily.

Shen Jia Yan hurried after her, but all she got was the small private room’s door clicking shut.

She didn’t know how much of her conversation with Shao Han Wen Wan Ning had overheard, didn’t know why she was chasing after her so urgently, didn’t know what she would even say if she caught up.

She stared at the small room’s door, her body leaning back against the wall as she slowly calmed down.

Xia Yuxin opened the door from the large room and spotted Shen Jia Yan leaning against the wall.

She had been worried about how the talk with Shao Han was going, so she kept popping out to check.

Walking up to Shen Jia Yan’s side, she asked quietly, “How’d it go? Did Shao Han confess to you?”

Shen Jia Yan turned her head weakly to look at her. “Mm.”

“And then?” Xia Yuxin pressed.

Shen Jia Yan said flatly, “What do you think?” As if she didn’t know she liked Wen Wan Ning.

“I knew you’d reject her.” Xia Yuxin frowned slightly. “I’m asking for details—what did she say, how did you reject her?”

Shen Jia Yan’s eyes stayed fixed on the small room’s door, helpless. “Why are you so nosy?”

“Hehe.” Xia Yuxin smiled sheepishly. Suddenly, she thought of Shen Jia Yan’s state and continued, “Wait, shouldn’t you feel relieved and happy after clearing things up? Why do you look so lost?” Then she slapped her palm. “Don’t tell me you’re enjoying being liked, and now that she’s given up on you, you’re feeling down about it.”

What kind of logic was that? Shen Jia Yan glared at her but said nothing.

“Aiya.” She pulled at Shen Jia Yan’s arm, shaking it. “My best roommate, my best friend, just tell me, what’s going on?”

Unable to withstand her persistent coaxing, Shen Jia Yan stood up and headed outside. “Let’s talk out there.”

“Got it!” Xia Yuxin happily followed behind her.

The two reached the outdoors.

Shops along the street lazily hummed with air conditioner outdoor units spewing hot air, the asphalt road rising with a layer of distorting heat waves, even distant scenery seeming melted at the edges.

Xia Yuxin was sweltering and found a spot under a large parasol a bit away from the KTV entrance for resting. “Let’s sit here—at least we’re not in direct sunlight.”

Shen Jia Yan pulled out a chair and sat down.

Xia Yuxin looked at her, her face saying I’m waiting for you to spill.

Shen Jia Yan chuckled lightly, then said, “When Shao Han confessed to me just now, Wan Ning seemed to overhear. But I don’t know how much she heard.”

“Ah?” Xia Yuxin took a moment to react. “Did you see her reaction?”

Reaction?

Shen Jia Yan recounted Wen Wan Ning and Lü Xin’s interaction for her.

Xia Yuxin crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. “From what you said, I think she heard Shao Han’s confession, and…” She circled around it.

“And what?” Shen Jia Yan urged.

Her prank successful, Xia Yuxin continued, “And, she’s probably a bit bothered by it—otherwise, she wouldn’t rush off so coldly just because she heard someone confessing to you.” Then she grinned smugly. “See, I told you—her feelings for you aren’t just classmate-level.”

Shen Jia Yan thought it made sense, and joy surged in her heart instantly.

But before she could bask in it long, she suddenly realized that the reason she rejected Shao Han was that she couldn’t accept girls. If Wen Wan Ning really liked her even a little, as Xia Yuxin said, hadn’t she backed herself into a dead end?

She couldn’t be sure how much of the conversation Wen Wan Ning had heard, but she was certain of one thing: the final rejection reason. Because right after she said it, she had spotted her.

Suddenly, her head buzzed. She pressed her hands to her forehead and leaned on the table.

“What’s wrong?” Xia Yuxin nudged her arm. “Gone silly from happiness?”

Shen Jia Yan let out a long sigh. “The reason I gave for rejecting Shao Han was that I can’t accept girls.” Her tone was full of regret.

“What?” The reason caught Xia Yuxin off guard. “If you don’t like her, you don’t like her—why make up something like that?”

Shen Jia Yan ruffled her hair and roughly recounted her dialogue with Shao Han.

Xia Yuxin crossed her arms over her chest, looking like she saw right through her. “You thought saying you didn’t like her directly would hurt Shao Han too much, so you picked a gentler rejection, right?”

Shen Jia Yan frowned and nodded.

Xia Yuxin sat up straight abruptly. “Can’t you rein in your kindness at times like this?” She spread her hands. “Great, now the person who shouldn’t have heard it did.”

Shen Jia Yan sighed again.

She figured Wen Wan Ning’s cold attitude might not just be because of that line—it could be seeing a girl confess to her and finding the whole thing… weird.

And even if she did have some feelings for her, whether she could accept it was another matter entirely.

This kind of relationship was bound to be far more difficult than most.

Shen Jia Yan gazed at the endless stream of cars flowing like her thoughts and murmured softly, “Forget it, no point overthinking. No matter how much I think, I won’t know Wan Ning’s real thoughts. University’s starting soon—some things should just take their natural course.”

She knew she was cowardly, afraid that confessing would mean losing everything. But in the dead of night, those suppressed thoughts would bubble up uncontrollably.

She wanted to hold her hand and walk the university paths, share an umbrella on rainy days, steal glances at her focused profile in the library corner…

The upcoming university life was like an unknown sea, full of opportunities and challenges. Shen Jia Yan knew that once they were all in college, with studies less intense than high school, maybe everything would change.

She had been waiting, waiting for the right moment, waiting to muster the courage to tell Wen Wan Ning the secret buried deep in her heart: she liked her.

At that thought, the corners of her lips curved up slightly. Sunlight filtered through the parasol’s gaps, weaving golden flecks on her face.

In the days to come, there might be storms, there might be bumps, but she was willing to hold onto this anticipation and wait patiently. Some things couldn’t be rushed or forced—let them happen naturally.