Wei Shuyu truly suffered from insomnia, perhaps because she had slept too much during the day.
The pillow was fluffy and soft, the blanket light as a feather, and the air conditioning set to the ideal twenty-seven degrees for sleep. Even before bed, she had specially spritzed some sleep-aid fragrance.
A faint pine wood scent floated in the air, making one feel as if they were in a forest.
Normally, as long as she immersed herself in that aroma and imagined strolling through the woods, Wei Shuyu would fall asleep unknowingly.
But not tonight.
No matter if she pictured a forest or the ocean, that familiar sensation of her consciousness gradually blurring never came.
In her increasingly clear mind, Jin Yizhu’s figure appeared.
She unconsciously recalled.
She recalled her encounter with Jin Yizhu.
In the pattering rain curtain, she sat on the steps of the Hong Kong Grand Theatre, her heart full of frustration. Between the flickering embers of her cigarette, her thoughts drifted, on the verge of plunging into Victoria Harbour in the next second.
Jin Yizhu appeared silently and extended a hand toward her.
She recalled her time spent with Jin Yizhu.
In Tokyo Disneyland, under brilliant fireworks, Jin Yizhu let her lean on her shoulder and sleep soundly. In the world’s happiest place, she had her first good sleep in half a year.
Jin Yizhu held her hand and followed her out of the heavy night.
Jin Yizhu said she wanted to keep her; she left Hong Kong overnight, yet Jin Yizhu inexplicably appeared in Omotesando, saying she wanted to have dinner with her. Jin Yizhu showed a vulnerable yet unwilling expression in front of her, tossed her a Black Card, and said they would never part again…
Jin Yizhu said, With our current relationship, don’t you think you should come to Hong Kong more often?
Jin Yizhu said, Is there anything wrong with coaxing you?
Jin Yizhu said, Are you blushing right now?
All the events of the past two years swirled back and forth in Wei Shuyu’s mind.
Only at this moment did Wei Shuyu realize that she remembered every single word Jin Yizhu had said so clearly.
Too terrifying…
If this continued, what would become of her?
Would she fall more and more in love with Jin Yizhu, sink deeper into this game of friendship, unable to extricate herself?
Would she then start craving Jin Yizhu’s love, yearning to see not just friendly affection in her eyes, but the love between lovers?
If Jin Yizhu had always seen her only as a friend, even if there had been a fleeting moment of heartbeat, but never considered becoming lovers, what then?
Amid too many questions, too many worries, too many anxieties, Wei Shuyu fell asleep.
The dream arrived as expected, but it was nothing like she had imagined.
In the hazy dream, even the sky was dyed an ambiguous pink.
On the vast beach, aside from her and Jin Yizhu, not a soul was in sight. Only gentle waves lapped at the sand one after another.
The air carried the scent of the sea and monsoon winds, and the slightly salty sea breeze brushed against her skin, bringing an indescribable astringency.
She and Jin Yizhu lay on beach chairs. The soft sea breeze blew over them, lulling them to drowsiness. Jin Yizhu handed her a glass of wine—transparent liquid in a triangular stemmed glass topped with a green olive. It was probably a Martini. Wei Shuyu took it and sipped, immediately choking and coughing.
There was no real sensation in the dream, yet she felt the liquor burn.
It was a glass of high-proof whiskey with just a few ice cubes—the way Jin Yizhu often drank it. She seemed immune to getting drunk, treating whiskey like a nightcap. She only had one glass, not enough to leave the scent of alcohol on her, but enough for a hazy, alluring fragrance that mingled with her Bulgari Darjeeling tea scent, exuding captivating charm.
It was like that in real life; in the dream, the effect was doubled.
Wei Shuyu coughed from the choking, nearly spilling the liquor from the glass in her hand.
A hand reached over from the side—slender and fine-boned, with neatly trimmed, rounded nails gleaming healthily. Jin Yizhu’s hand covered hers, steadying the glass.
Wei Shuyu looked down and noticed that hand, the clearly visible wrist joint full of strength.
Jin Yizhu took the glass from her hand and downed the liquor in one go. Casually, she said, ‘If you can’t drink it, then don’t.’
You were the one who gave it to me, Wei Shuyu muttered. Now you won’t let me drink.
‘You’re drunk,’ Jin Yizhu concluded.
She suddenly leaned in close, bending down to look at her. Even their eyelashes seemed about to touch—the distance was frighteningly near.
‘Let’s go back,’ Jin Yizhu said. ‘It’s so cold by the sea.’
The seaside wasn’t cold at all.
Wei Shuyu didn’t know the season in the dream, but she could feel the warmth of the sea breeze, carrying the unique heat of summer.
Yet she nodded dazedly, as if Jin Yizhu’s words held magic. If she said she was drunk, then she really was.
Perhaps this was what she desired—yearning for Jin Yizhu to define her state, to seize control from her, to… plunder and possess her.
They seemed to be staying at a seaside hotel. Looking out from the floor-to-ceiling windows, she saw a vast expanse of blue sea.
Wei Shuyu gazed at the sea in a daze, while Jin Yizhu had already drawn near. Unlike in reality, her movements held no hesitation, and her kiss was no longer innocent.
It wasn’t just lips pressing against lips; it was an intense, deep kiss that seemed to steal all her air.
Jin Yizhu pinched her chin, leaving no room for refusal. In fact, refusal was impossible—the entire dream was her fantasy, which only proved that it was her own desire making Jin Yizhu treat her this way.
That kiss had nothing to do with gentleness.
Jin Yizhu bit her lip as if to devour her whole. Their teeth clashed, bringing a slight numbness.
Like savoring sweet candy, Jin Yizhu kissed the corner of her lips meticulously, her tongue tangling with Wei Shuyu’s. The impossibly soft sensation made Wei Shuyu’s scalp tingle, her mind foggy.
In the dream, she couldn’t distinguish reality from illusion. She only felt Jin Yizhu’s embrace warm, her skin smooth and soft against hers. At some point, their clothes had vanished. Jin Yizhu’s arms encircled her waist, drawing them closer until their breaths intertwined.
Amid the chaotic breathing, Wei Shuyu heard her laughter.
Jin Yizhu asked her, ‘Didn’t you just say you weren’t drunk? Then why are you blushing?’
That smile was as radiant as ever, but the curve of her lips was different.
It looked… a bit wicked.
Jin Yizhu leaned over her, a thick, richer-than-whiskey dark fragrance assaulting her senses. Wei Shuyu’s heart raced, her fingertips curling slightly.
Jin Yizhu clasped her hand, fingers interlacing with hers in an enticing grip, their hands tightly interlocked.
The warm skin felt utterly real, and Jin Yizhu’s passionate eyes seemed real too.
She gazed at her, planting a gentle kiss on her earlobe. It tickled a little, and the air seemed to grow hotter. Wei Shuyu felt herself sweating, but she had no desire to break free—in fact, this was exactly what she craved.
From her earlobe to her lips, then to her neck, her waist, and further down…
Leaving traces that belonged only to Jin Yizhu.
Her hands roamed wildly, without restraint, pinching Wei Shuyu’s chin for another deep, heavy kiss. In the near-suffocating sensation, Wei Shuyu surrendered all her breath, affirming her existence as if she lived only for Jin Yizhu.
The hand trailing down her waistline shackled her freedom, controlling everything, making her arch her neck like a fish gasping for air.
The moment the tidal wave crashed over her, Wei Shuyu woke up.
…What the hell was that?
Wei Shuyu raised her arm to cover her eyes.
Her heart still pounded as if everything had been real, not a dream.
Even her breathing was disordered. Wei Shuyu regulated it, not wanting to recall, but fragments from the dream flooded her mind relentlessly.
Jin Yizhu’s kiss, Jin Yizhu’s hand, the way Jin Yizhu looked at her, the smile on Jin Yizhu’s lips as she pressed down…
Too awful. Such a guilty feeling.
Why did she have a dream like that… Why dream of doing that with Jin Yizhu…
After this dream, how was she supposed to face Jin Yizhu?
Jin Yizhu had even said today that they would go soak in hot springs together.
When that time came, how was she supposed to face her? Should she look at her or not? She suspected she wouldn’t dare look.
But soaking in hot springs together without looking at each other at all—wouldn’t that scream guilt?
Wei Shuyu felt distressed and couldn’t help sighing.
What was even more terrifying was that she wasn’t just uncomfortable in her heart now; her body… was uncomfortable too.
The dream hadn’t been complete.
She had woken just as the tidal wave was about to overwhelm her.
Perhaps because the dream felt too real, Wei Shuyu couldn’t ignore her current physical response.
She felt a bit hot… She threw off the blanket, but the cool air clung to her skin, bringing not refreshment but sticky, humid heat.
Wei Shuyu squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the blanket back up, covering herself completely.
In the total darkness, she finally felt a sliver of safety. Unable to bear it any longer, her fingers pressed to her lips. The moment her fingertips touched the soft petals, her reason collapsed.
From her earlobe to her lips, then to her neck, her waist, and further down…
Just like in the dream, Wei Shuyu’s hand trailed downward, soothing the aching skin.
When she masturbated, she never made a sound—not even her breathing escaped control, to avoid sinking too deeply.
Restraint was a virtue. No matter the desire, once the floodgates opened, it was hard to rein in.
But when that moment arrived, she always failed to suppress it, letting out a fragmented sound.
The instant her fingertips were enveloped in hot, wet warmth, Wei Shuyu’s mind didn’t go blank as usual.
Instead… Jin Yizhu’s smile appeared—radiant and beautiful, looking at her with teasing eyes, possessive desire hidden in their depths, making her heart race.
Awful…
It was already too late to stop.
Wei Shuyu bit her lip. Amid the guilt, she lost all restraint, her movements intensifying. Even her neck arched slightly, her breathing growing erratic—just like in the dream.
Except that hand was her own.
She wanted to stop. Everyone did this; it was just human nature.
But while doing it, she couldn’t stop thinking of Jin Yizhu—her face, her smile, her hand, the feel of her warm skin and embrace…
Imagining being treated like that by her.
Wei Shuyu bit her lip hard, tears welling at the corners of her eyes, exiling herself to the edge of desire.
Thinking of Jin Yizhu, she did this.
Next time she saw Jin Yizhu, how was she supposed to face her?
