Ye Zhibai now occasionally dreamed of things from not too long ago—events from her previous life.
If you asked what a normal person saw the most of in a single day, people’s thoughts might vary, and there could be many answers. But in truth, if you spent a normal day ending at a normal hour in a normal life, the thing you would see the most…
—was undoubtedly the sunlight, generously bathing the world.
But Ye Zhibai was different. On days when she wasn’t in school or working, if she didn’t make a special effort to go out looking for it, she rarely had a chance to see the sun all day long.
In the beginning, when sunlight first poured onto the Earth, it was selfless and even, no different for anyone. You could look up and see it anytime, pray to the sun whenever you wanted, and hope for a fulfilling life.
Yet reality was different. When the sunlight specifically illuminated each person, that original selflessness turned into abundance for some and scarcity for others, favoring certain spots while neglecting others.
That was because the lighting conditions in a high-end residential complex differed vastly from those in a dim back alley.
One could even say they were worlds apart.
Ye Zhibai would probably never, ever forget the tiny apartment where she had lived for ten years.
Blocked by twisting alleys and towering buildings, it was damp and dark, with no glimpse of daylight. Every morning, if not for her alarm clock, she wouldn’t even realize the sun had risen.
She often peered out through the dusty, cracked window.
One window, one wall.
One narrow alley, two rows of weeds.
Once, she thought the world might really be that small.
After all, only by telling herself the world was tiny could she avoid dwelling on the bustling traffic beyond the alley. It wasn’t realistic anyway.
Even after wiping the window clean, she still couldn’t see more sunlight.
Over time, Ye Zhibai from that period even grew a little resentful of the sun. After all, it wasn’t fair.
During middle school and high school, aside from going to classes, she mostly holed up in the apartment. With her pitifully limited data, she watched videos of Bali’s romantic waves, savored the elegant leisure of the Maldives, and explored the profound heritage of the Great Wall.
The sky could reflect the ocean’s color in such a vivid blue.
Self-driving travelers tossed money around without a care for the sky-high fuel costs.
And those food bloggers… Late at night, Ye Zhibai would drool under the covers at the massive claws of king crabs, smacking her lips along to the video’s background music.
Just as she imagined tasting it, the short video bar would fill up and go black, prompting her to swipe to the next one.
Until her data limit warning popped up. Then she’d set aside her cracked phone screen she had no intention of fixing, and remember…
She didn’t belong to the skies, the earth, or anywhere that could feel like home.
In that torment, Ye Zhibai studied desperately, worked tirelessly to save every penny, all because she’d overheard the neighbors saying something often.
“The smart, hardworking kid from so-and-so’s family got into a top school. Their celebration banquet was lavish—definitely headed for a bright future without a worry in the world.”
Ye Zhibai was never destined for a celebration banquet.
But she still wanted to go to university.
She was pragmatic. She wanted that worry-free life too.
She hoped that one day, she’d wake up in the morning without an alarm and see sunlight.
Who could have imagined… she actually made it.
Qihai University, the best school in the city. Even though none of the neighbors knew of her triumph, and none called her the “smart, hardworking child,” Ye Zhibai was still thrilled.
Because she believed that getting into a top university meant she could finally live without financial worries, move into a big house with great lighting.
She still remembered the day the results came out. To celebrate, she went to the large supermarket just two streets beyond her apartment alley to buy snacks as a treat—that was the first time in ten years living there that she’d visited that mall.
Crossing the traffic light, she got yelled at by a driver in a luxury car who rolled down his window.
What had he called her?
Something like… a bastard with no mother to raise him?
Sigh, cruising around in a fancy car under the sun every day, and still so full of rage.
There was nothing she could do. Though annoyed, she apologized meekly and hurried on.
Who could blame her? She was so excited that day, rushing to snag discounted snacks at the mall, and forgot to check the light.
But for some reason… as Ye Zhibai reached the other side of the street, she suddenly paused her hurried steps.
At first, it hadn’t bothered her much. But upon reflection, watching the luxury car speed away and recalling the insult, a strange bitterness welled up inside.
But it didn’t matter.
Today, she had snacks. Maybe someday, she’d feast on hairy crabs.
From then on, she studied even harder.
She was among the earliest students to arrive for freshman orientation at university.
While others in her first-year career planning class talked about teaming up for games, griped that the teacher’s lectures were useless, or skipped planning altogether because of family connections…
She was the only one who sought out the professor after class for detailed advice.
Even the advisor remarked that with her attitude, she was bound for great success.
During that time, though still living in the apartment, when Ye Zhibai looked out the window, it felt like she could see farther.
The scenery hadn’t changed—it was still so dark.
But she no longer hated the sun as much.
Occasionally at noon, she’d push open the door for a stroll, even grit her teeth and get a high-data SIM card from the campus service center. It was a good deal, letting her watch more videos.
As for what happened after that… there was no need to dwell on it.
The sunshine of her previous life.
Forever frozen in that summer of her sophomore year.
Frozen, yet also a continuation.
In a way, Ye Zhibai’s wish had come true.
That summer, when she awoke once more in the hospital room… her eyes were indeed filled with sunlight.
Not just sunlight, oh no. There was also Yun’er’s smile, even brighter than the sun.
After going through all that, Ye Zhibai had come to deeply understand how hard it was to see a broader world from that cracked little window, even if it took a lifetime.
With a touch of wistful reminiscence, her thoughts drifted away on the gentle, warm breeze.
Ye Zhibai’s attention gradually returned to the present.
In the flower-scented courtyard under the moonlight, Yun’er had just finished sharing her thoughts and was waiting quietly and obediently for her big sister’s response.
Ye Zhibai slowly raised her head, gazing at the distant sky. Like her silver hair cascading over her shoulder, the night sky held only a sparse scattering of stars—enough to light the darkness.
“Yun’er… I’ve heard your words just now, your concern. I’ve taken it all in.
“Even when I got into university back then, munching on snacks, my heart didn’t feel this warm.
“But… forgive me for being blunt.
“I can’t accept your decision so easily with a clear conscience.”
Ye Zhibai lowered her gaze from the sky to the reflection of her own face in Yun’er’s eyes—a look of the same determination Yun’er had shown moments before.
“Sister…? What’s wrong?”
“You’re right, Yun’er… I really haven’t seen much of the city we live in. I haven’t walked more than a few streets, shopped at more than a handful of malls. I’ve never been to an amusement park… or watched a single movie.”
“Then…!”
“But just because I haven’t doesn’t mean you haven’t.” Ye Zhibai firmly cut off Yun’er’s exclamation. “Your suggestion is based on taking care of me, isn’t it? But you’ve already grown used to the lights here. You shouldn’t stay tethered to this place for another four years because of me. I can’t accept that. You should have gone out to see the bigger world long ago…”
“Sister…”
On the windowsill of Ye Zhibai’s old apartment, there used to be a butterfly that visited often.
Even in that dim alley, it would always land on the sill, peering into the narrow lane alongside her.
No matter how she shooed it, it flew back.
Ye Zhibai called it the strange butterfly.
There are gardens out there, yet you insist on lingering here. Aren’t you just making things harder for yourself?
Exactly… No one should hold back their own life for someone else. That would be torment for both.
Yun’er stared for a long time into her sister’s eyes, at the flickering light there like the shimmer of butterfly wings.
Ye Zhibai had thought her words would remind Yun’er of what truly mattered.
But to her surprise, Yun’er let out a wry smile again.
Huh?!
Did I not make myself clear enough? You’re smiling again!
Yes, Yun’er was going to smile.
She smiled because she was chiding herself for speaking too hastily earlier, for not explaining clearly and worrying her sister.
Also… this smile carried a sigh at how lovable her sister was. With words like that, Yun’er really couldn’t look away.
“Sister.”
“What?”
“You said so much just now… Um, can I ask you a question first?”
“Go ahead.”
Yun’er tapped her index finger against her chin.
She tilted her head, pretending to think hard, but in truth, she already knew the answer to her own question.
“Sister, you said… who should decide a person’s fate?”
“Herself.” Ye Zhibai answered instantly.
This wasn’t from any textbook—it was the answer Ye Zhibai had earned with her own life.
Yun’er nodded emphatically.
The playful smile faded from her face, replaced by a seriousness that showed she was truly engaging with her sister in this discussion about the subject called “life.”
“Yes, Sister’s answer is also my answer. Life should be decided by ourselves. Let me put it this way—if I say my top choice is Qihai University, what would you want me to do, Sister?”
“Me…? Of course, I’d hope you’d… go to Capital University. No matter how you slice it, the capital’s bigger than our hometown…”
“Pfft… It’s way bigger, sure. But here’s the thing, Sister. If I clearly want Qihai University, but you want Capital University, and I actually listen to you and pick Capital, doesn’t that mean I’m not following my own heart? Doesn’t that mean I’m not making my life choices based on my own will?”
“That’s… twisted logic.”
“Twisted? I don’t think so at all?”
You’re way too roundabout!
No, hold on—let me sort this out. I’m not as sharp as you two; I get dizzy with all these loops.
Finally got it straight.
Ye Zhibai spoke up again, her tone a touch urgent, her expression cool yet tinged with concern.
“But your choice would be built on my influence. Can we really call that purely your own will?”
“Hehe… Even someone as clever as you has moments when her mind gets stuck, huh~”
“What do you mean?”
Yun’er suddenly shifted her position.
She planted her hands between them, and since they were sitting with no gap, her small palms gently pressed onto Ye Zhibai’s thighs.
The sudden closeness brought their eyes mere inches apart.
In Yun’er’s gaze, Ye Zhibai’s reflection filled every corner.
Nothing else existed.
“Because, Sister! You’ve been going on about how big the world is, how vast it all is. But to me, the world isn’t that big at all.”
“How can it not be? Look at a globe—it’s huge…”
“Is it? But in Yun’er’s world, there’s only you, Sister~ See? Just by looking at you like this, I’ve got the whole world right here in my eyes! The world—it’s this small!”
“……!”
Night lacked sunlight.
Yet Yun’er’s smile pierced the darkness like rays of sun, making the world in Ye Zhibai’s heart feel righted at last.
Ye Zhibai stood frozen in place.
That didn’t stop Yun’er from feeling a flush of shyness after her second “confession” like this. She quickly leaned down and hugged her entire world tight.
“Hehe… Besides, Sister, skipping Capital University doesn’t mean we’re stuck in Qihai City forever. I just want to show you around our hometown a bit more. What do you take our family for~? When university break comes, we’ll plan a trip around the globe! Forget the capital—we’ll hit every capital in the world. Sound good?”
“A trip…? Yeah, sure…”
“Then I’ll take that as you agreeing with my plan!”
What else could she say?
You put it like that—who am I to argue?
So the world can be vast… or tiny.
Feeling Yun’er’s warmth, Ye Zhibai’s mind echoed with the over-the-top voices from those travel vloggers she’d watched huddled under the covers.
“Welcome to Bali! The top tourist spot is none other than…”
“Come to the Maldives for true sea-and-sky blues, pure island vibes to sweep you away…”
“Fail to reach the Great Wall, and you’re no true hero…”
Me? I don’t think I’m all that envious of you anymore…
The voices faded into the night sky.
Ye Zhibai gently stroked the back of Yun’er’s head, patting rhythmically with tender care.
Yun’er glanced up for a moment.
And found the most beautiful sight in the world.
The setting sun and lone wild geese, the endless autumn waters and skies—compared to this moment, they were nothing more.
“Sister…? You’re smiling!”
“Hm?”
“Aah!! I shouldn’t have pointed it out! Now that I said it, you stopped! Quick, forget I said anything—smile again!”
“Gone now.”
Don’t push it! I didn’t even realize I was smiling!
But still… that flutter in her heart was the trace of the smile.
Proof that it had existed.
As fireflies danced and a gentle breeze whispered.
Silver hair and black hair swayed in the same direction.
When the wind died and both strands settled, a clear blush had bloomed on Yun’er’s cheeks.
The usually cool girl showed this childish side only to the one she loved.
Yun’er said nothing.
Under Ye Zhibai’s puzzled gaze, her eyes darted away a few times.
But Yun’er was a girl of action!
Her hesitation lasted only a moment. Soon, she placed her palm lightly on Ye Zhibai’s chest, closed her deep blue eyes, tilted her head slightly, and leaned in toward Ye Zhibai’s lips.
Moonlight stretched the shadows of the two girls long.
But no matter how long, at the end of those shadows, their cherry lips pressed together. Their soft breaths synced, silencing even the cicadas, unwilling to intrude.
Only after a long while did they part reluctantly, a glistening thread breaking between them.
Yun’er tilted her head and smiled in a daze.
Gazing at that smile, Ye Zhibai suddenly felt her nose sting.
She pressed her forehead firmly against Yun’er’s!
“Sister…?!”
“Yun’er… Sorry… Just a moment…”
“Mm…”
Zihan, your forehead-to-forehead healing trick—mind if I borrow it for a sec…?
Really… just a moment.
A hundred miles away, at the shattered window.
A butterfly under the moonlight fluttered its wings twice, then danced away on the wind.
Flying slowly toward the moon.
Until it vanished from sight.
