Chapter 37: The Submissive, Obsessive Top Student

In her extreme panic, she surprisingly calmed down completely. She walked very quickly, like the shadow of a ghost drifting down the silent long street. After enduring a heavy rain, the early morning wind was still very cold, but it blew over her thin body as if she felt nothing at all.

Her aunt had already gone out, leaving only that man at home. He had gone to bed late the night before and usually didn’t wake up until nine in the morning. She still had two hours.

Her heart was terrifyingly calm, the courage and malice born from despair masking everything else.

At seven in the morning, the sky hadn’t fully brightened yet. The small clinic hidden in the alley had a dim lamp lit. The doctor had just changed shifts and was nibbling on a youtiao as he looked up to see the door being pushed open. A high school girl of seventeen or eighteen walked in. She was extremely thin, her eyes carrying a desperate, all-or-nothing resolve.

The doctor’s heart skipped a beat. The girl had already walked in and asked him hoarsely, “I want to buy sleeping pills and… cefixime.”

Her voice was utterly exhausted. The doctor frowned, his tone uncharacteristically gentle. “Sleeping pills are prescription-only.”

“…I have one.”

When she took the medicine, there was a moment of panic. Before she could grasp it, someone snatched it from her hand. The items fell to the ground. Jiang Zhiyi’s shoulders stiffened instantly, her whole body tensing up extremely tight. She didn’t even dare to look up along that arm.

It was too familiar; she knew who it was without looking.

Shi Qingyi, with her messy bird’s nest hair, had sped all the way here on her scooter. She grabbed her hand and started dragging her out.

The blonde girl walked very fast, and Jiang Zhiyi stumbled along behind her. At first, her tears flowed silently, but they gradually became more and more torrential, almost choking her throat and making her sob out loud. At one point, Shi Qingyi noticed something was wrong and stopped, turning back.

She had already cried until her face was covered in tears, smudged all over. Her hair stuck wetly to her cheeks, like a pitiful little thing that had lost a fight and been bullied. Who could believe that just moments ago, she had mustered such determination?

That morning, she had been woken by the system’s relentless nagging and even thought it was messing with her. But no, things like cefixime with alcohol or sleeping pills could really cause big trouble.

“Why are you crying? You had the courage for that, so why cry now?”

Her tone was fierce. Jiang Zhiyi’s whole body trembled, her psychological defenses on the verge of total collapse.

It’s over. Qingyi knows what kind of person I am now. She must think I’m scary, terrifying. Even she doesn’t want me anymore?

Her eyes flickered with countless emotions. When she lifted her head, big teardrops slid down her gaunt cheeks. She opened her mouth several times but couldn’t say a word, just shedding silent tears, shrinking and barely able to stand.

It was a despair so extreme that her entire being seemed ashen, without a spark of life.

Just looking at her made Shi Qingyi’s heart ache. She wanted to be angry—for a scum like that, was it worth throwing away her whole life? But she couldn’t even say a harsh word, afraid it would be the final straw to break her.

She could only reach out with one hand and pat her trembling back. Sensing the gesture, Jiang Zhiyi suddenly staggered forward two steps, tentatively extending her hand. Seeing no rejection, she quietly wrapped her arms around her waist.

She cried silently, her tears soaking the spot on Shi Qingyi’s shoulder, like a river that would never run dry.

Shi Qingyi’s heart finally softened. Remembering something, she said, “Don’t bite yourself. Bite the clothes.”

She had a terrible habit. When crying, to avoid disturbing others with noise, she bit the flesh inside her mouth—even in nightmares.

Jiang Zhiyi obeyed her completely. She released her teeth from her own flesh and, while crying, bit the corner of Shi Qingyi’s clothes instead. The trembling transmitted from the collar. Even her crying was so careful not to disturb others, her submissive demeanor begging the question: what kind of thing could drive her to such courage from desperation?

Shi Qingyi softened her tone, stroking her shoulder and back gently. “What exactly happened?”

The tears on her shoulder surged even more fiercely, as if all her past grievances could be endured alone, but once someone cared, they couldn’t be hidden. Biting the corner of the clothes, it took her a very, very long time to choke out a single word.

“It hurts…”

Qingyi, it really hurts so much.

Shi Qingyi took her back and washed her clean before understanding why she said that. Almost her entire body had no good skin left—bruises upon bruises, some old on her arms not fully healed now joined by new ones, even glass shards scraping wounds on her legs.

She curled up on the soft sofa, letting Shi Qingyi manipulate her hair while drying it, her head buried in her waist, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

The hairdryer’s roar filled the air, and she seemed finally liberated in the massive noise. At first silent, then gradually breaking into audible, collapsing cries.

Shi Qingyi held her, her gaze roaming over the exposed arms and legs, covered in glaring wounds. There hadn’t been this many last time.

When she led Jiang Zhiyi to the car, the girl just held her hand without resistance, boarding while tears flowed quietly. “Are you taking me to the police?”

Shi Qingyi almost laughed in anger, snapping harshly to scare her. “Then why did you get in?”

Jiang Zhiyi leaned against her, sniffling. “If you take me, I’ll go.”

She looked so obedient, like a cat that had sheathed its claws and become harmless. Shi Qingyi didn’t know why, but her heart felt a mix of emotions.

“Enough. If you keep crying, your eyes will go blind. You still have the college entrance exam.” She pushed away the cat that had cried all day. Her eyes were swollen red like little lightbulbs; even dry tissues couldn’t touch them, so she dabbed gently with wet wipes.

Jiang Zhiyi sniffled again. “They’re making me drop out to work. I can’t take the exam.”

Shi Qingyi’s hand froze abruptly. No wonder someone as timid as her had thought of that method.

“Don’t go back tonight. Stay at my place.” Her eyes darkened; going back might mean another beating.

She squatted down, her voice fierce, but the hand wiping tears was very gentle. “Are you stupid? Overdose on sleeping pills shows up in blood tests. Cefixime plus alcohol is detectable on inspection. Once they trace your purchase record, can you even escape?”

Jiang Zhiyi seemed not to process it, staring blankly at her.

“For these scums, it’s not worth ruining your life. You’re about to take the gaokao and escape them. Remember? Come with me to the south to see the sea.”

She leaned her forehead against hers. They were so close, Jiang Zhiyi’s face as red as her swollen eyes, her long, curled lashes trembling nonstop.

Shi Qingyi coaxed patiently. “Isn’t your future more important than them? Or am I not as important?”

Jiang Zhiyi flushed bright red, her voice weak as she avoided her gaze. “You… you’re more important.”

No one is more important than you.

Shi Qingyi was satisfied. “Then don’t touch these dirty things. Focus on preparing for the exam peacefully. Stay at my house from now on, okay?”

Living in her beloved’s home—this temptation was impossible for Jiang Zhiyi to refuse, even without other pressures. She could only stare foolishly, suddenly feeling heaven and hell were a thought apart.

Shi Qingyi called her father from the balcony. The man seemed to be at some social event, his tone impatient. “Not enough money again, or parent-teacher conference? I’ll transfer to your card. Papa Qingyi is busy; be understanding…”

After hanging up, Shi Qingyi felt a moment of fatigue but struggled to dial another number.

Jiang Zhiyi leaned against the glass door, peeking at her now and then, afraid she’d vanish.

She zoned out for a second, then a woman’s soft voice came through, sleepy. “Hello? Qingyi? What’s up? Calling at this hour—didn’t go to school?”

Not her mother’s voice. The woman sounded tired, quickly shoving someone. “Qingyi’s calling. Get up quick.”

“No, I’m… looking for you.”

When she returned from the call, Jiang Zhiyi was obediently sitting in the living room, as if she hadn’t just been peeking at the door.

Shi Qingyi suddenly felt her mood complicated.

That evening, while Shi Qingyi was gaming, she heard a knock. Jiang Zhiyi stood at the door hugging her pillow, her soft fluffy hair making her look pitiful. “I… I can’t sleep.”

So, can I sleep with you?

Shi Qingyi wasn’t as thick-skinned. She let her climb into bed. At first, they kept to their sides like the Han River boundary, but gradually she inched closer. Jiang Zhiyi yawned and hugged her arm. “Qingyi, it’s late. We have school tomorrow. Stop gaming, okay?”

She could stay up and nap in class tomorrow—homeroom teacher didn’t care—but not Jiang Zhiyi. Shi Qingyi thought it over, put down her phone, and turned off the bedside lamp.

The girl’s shallow breathing was right beside her. Shi Qingyi fell asleep soon after. In the darkness, the one who seemed asleep quietly opened her eyes.

In the dark, she reached out to cherishingly touch her brows and eyes. It felt too good, like an unrealistic dream. Morning in hell’s struggle, evening in paradise.

If Shi Qingyi hadn’t come that morning, she didn’t know what she might have done. She instinctively glanced at the window. Shi Qingyi’s windowsill was cluttered with books, but the window was firmly shut.

She often couldn’t sleep at night, would open the living room window in the wee hours, then close it at dawn. The man, sometimes dead drunk, lay on the living room sofa. No blanket, just a thin sheet.

Probably from excessive drinking, his health wasn’t great; he caught colds often. But he’d scrape every penny from home for booze and gambling, refusing to buy medicine.

When she earned a bit from tutoring, he’d bark orders for her to buy it. She never resisted. So submissive, he had no guard against her.

Shi Qingyi was right—the doctor and police would check. But so what? He’d drink it himself; he forced her to buy it. The aunt and even Jiang Zhiqing knew. He’d down so much cold medicine someday with cefixime.

Then they’d just be fools, not intentional. She was just the bullied lodger, pitiful. As for the sleeping pills…

She closed her eyes and clutched Shi Qingyi’s pajama hem.

These dark thoughts, Qingyi wouldn’t know. In her eyes, she could forever be the timid, helpless little pitiful, so she could always cling to her side.

This was probably a blessing in disguise?

As long as they didn’t force her, she’d willingly be the harmless cat by Shi Qingyi’s side forever.

She quietly burrowed deeper into the covers, cheek against her forearm, and slept peacefully.

In the morning, Shi Qingyi was woken by someone. The girl in just a nightgown knelt by the bed, softly calling her to get up, like a little cat that made her want to sleep more.

“I made you noodles. If you really can’t get up, I’ll bring it and feed you.”

Shi Qingyi’s sleepy eyes snapped wide. She decided to act human—this was too exploitative.

While brushing teeth and washing up, she grumbled indignantly, teaching Jiang Zhiyi, “Next time, wake someone up louder, or it won’t work!”

Jiang Zhiyi nodded like a chick pecking rice, then turned. “Want a fried egg?”

Shi Qingyi sensed something off. “Eggs in the fridge?”

How didn’t I know?

“I bought some this morning, plus greens and tomatoes.” Jiang Zhiyi peeked out, her dark bright eyes stealing glances, timidly.

Her cooking was good. A steaming bowl of noodles came up, and Shi Qingyi’s stomach growled. She’d just finished her egg when Jiang Zhiyi clamped hers over. “Want more?”

Shi Qingyi: “…”

She took it and stuffed it in her mouth. “Eat your own. Bite and give it back!”

So until they got in the car, a big dark cloud seemed to loom over Jiang Little Pitiful’s head. She knew Shi Qingyi had germaphobia, but was this disgust?

“Just buy breakfast downstairs from now on. No need to cook at home—sleep more. You already lack sleep.”

Jiang Zhiyi nodded vigorously, the gloom vanishing, skies clear.

The following days were so-so. In a blink, winter break neared. Jiang Zhiyi feared her uncle showing up at school at first, but no word came. Only the aunt visited once, hesitating at the gate before sighing and leaving without a word.

She had been holding Shi Qingyi’s hand on the way home back then. The moment she saw it, she immediately let go. It was fine for her to wallow in the mud, but Shi Qingyi could not be tainted by even a speck of filth.

Yet in the end, no one stepped forward.

Winter break was approaching. Part-time jobs for a senior high student were unrealistic with such a heavy course load, but since she was now living at Shi Qingyi’s house, she could not keep troubling her with other expenses. So she still found time for odd jobs. There were dishwashing gigs at school, once at noon and once in the evening. On Sundays after school, she walked three kilometers to tutor elementary students in Olympiad math. It had not been long before Shi Qingyi discovered her fingers, frozen red.

The blonde girl locked her in the house and scolded her fiercely. “Academic genius Jiang, why go so far when there’s someone right in front of you to teach?”

She was stunned for a long while before daring to speak. “If there’s anything you don’t understand, I can explain it to you. N-No need to pay.”

“I don’t understand anything,” Shi Qingyi declared righteously.

Jiang Zhiyi: “…”

Days passed unhurriedly like this. In Jiang Zhiyi’s heart, a vague feeling emerged: Shi Qingyi liked her, though neither had said it outright.

In late December, the school held a joint exam. Jiang Zhiyi’s scores were excellent—stable enough for the top spots. The incident with Song Zhiming and Deng Sisi gradually died down, ending with Deng Sisi dropping out.

Someone in the class said Song Zhiming’s relatives had connections at the school and pulled every string to save him, but he still ended up with a disciplinary mark. With only half a semester left in senior year, it was unclear if it could be removed.

Getting a disciplinary record for dating was naturally more severe than Jiang Zhiyi’s vague theft accusation. After Song Zhiming shifted all the blame onto Deng Sisi, his reputation in the class hit rock bottom. Everyone looked at him through strangely tinted glasses.

He began entering all sorts of competitions to vie for recommendation spots. Perhaps he was too hasty, because he kept failing, and his grades even showed signs of slipping.

One evening at the end of January, Shi Qingyi fell asleep in the classroom. Jiang Zhiyi glanced up at the clock—it was 9:45. The school would close in half an hour, so she could let her sleep until ten. If she still was not awake by then, she would have to wake her.

Everyone else in the classroom had already left. The heart that had been calmly focused on her studies suddenly grew restless. After two minutes of staring, she set her book down, deciding that no book could compare to a person.

The girl wore a white down jacket, its fluffy collar covering half her face. Her lowered lashes lacked the usual flamboyant aloofness when awake, revealing a certain gentleness instead.

Jiang Zhiyi’s heart slowly filled with a sweet sense of satisfaction. She watched for a long time, confirming that Shi Qingyi was sleeping soundly, before finally giving in to temptation and leaning closer.

They had lived together for a month, but she had only ever hugged her waist. Only on the first night had she timidly slept beside her, and that was it.

She drew closer and closer, finally mustering her courage. Like a cat sneaking a taste of fish, she stole a kiss on her temple. In that instant, her heart pounded like drums, as if all the world’s fireworks exploded inside her.

That was when the door was pushed open. Song Zhiming, phone in hand and looking impatient, shoved it open and froze on the spot.

In the empty classroom, Jiang Zhiyi leaned over to kiss the blonde girl’s temple, a gentle smile still lingering on her lips.

He held his phone and instinctively opened the camera.

Shi Qingyi was startled awake by the door. She struggled to open her eyes, red creases from pressure marks on her cheek, still groggy. “What’s wrong?”

The figure at the door was already gone. Jiang Zhiyi’s eyes darkened. She covered Shi Qingyi’s eyes and softly coaxed her. “Nothing. You can sleep a bit longer. No rush.”

Half-asleep, Shi Qingyi was truly lulled by her. Her long, thick lashes fluttered once against Jiang Zhiyi’s palm before she drifted off again.