Chapter 59

Xia Zhiming was really unreasonable. For learning this sort of thing, just having Qi Xu read about it on paper while hiding under the covers with her headphones on, blushing as she absorbed all that theoretical knowledge, was useless. It was nowhere near as quick as practicing it live with Xia Zhiming a few times.

Because—comics were all censored with mosaics, and most modern novels just cut to black. Even the ones that didn’t were written so crudely, as if fingers just poked right in and it would move on its own.

Qi Xu had some prior experience, after all. Whenever she read those novels, she always felt like the authors must have zero sex lives, because it was written so unscientifically!

So when it really came time to do it, all that knowledge in her head basically turned blank.

The result was that sometimes she hurt Xia Zhiming, who would then curse out her male relatives. Qi Xu felt a bit sorry for her own dad—Xia Zhiming cursed him the most. It was always something like “Your dad’s!”

“Don’t curse…” Qi Xu had just said this when Xia Zhiming glared at her. She even kicked Qi Xu right in the lower abdomen. Fortunately, Qi Xu was in her ghost body now, so even getting kicked by Xia Zhiming didn’t hurt.

“If you can do it, do it. If not, get the hell out!”

“I can, I can, definitely can.”

Qi Xu pressed down on top of Xia Zhiming and felt utterly comfortable all over. Xia Zhiming’s body temperature was normal living human warmth, but to Qi Xu’s ghost body, that heat felt especially scorching. Her ice-cold corpse-like body stubbornly savored Xia Zhiming’s warmth, especially from the warmest spot all over her body.

One good thing about the ghost body was that she could retract her nails herself. Her nails had long since retracted, or else it definitely would have hurt Xia Zhiming, and then Qi Xu would get kicked. There wasn’t even time to clip them on the spot.

Freshly clipped nails were usually a bit rough. Even if you filed them smooth, there was still a bit of roughness. Qi Xu had even seen forum posts saying that if you clipped them right before, nine times out of ten your partner would chew you out. At least clip them two days in advance and file them that day.

Luckily, her ghost body had no such worries.

Another perk of the ghost body was that her hair and the surrounding mist could be controlled too. When Xia Zhiming tried to reach out and punch her, the strands of hair extended to bind Xia Zhiming’s hands.

Of course, doing that just made Xia Zhiming curse her even more fiercely.

Fine, just treat it as bedroom flirtation.

Qi Xu thought for a moment and leaned in closer. Black Fog wrapped around Xia Zhiming’s face, forcing her to meet Qi Xu’s gaze. Then Qi Xu kissed her, swallowing all of Xia Zhiming’s curses. After a while, Qi Xu released her. Xia Zhiming’s eyes shimmered with water, looking exceptionally beautiful, even the corners tinged with red.

But Qi Xu liked the little mole under her eye even more.

Being a ghost had another advantage: unlimited stamina. By the time Xia Zhiming’s voice was hoarse and her curses lacked any real force, Qi Xu was still full of vigor, healthier than any living person.

As a living person, she had been half-dead every day with a lifeless face. As a ghost, she brimmed with vitality.

When Qi Xu finally released Xia Zhiming, who sank into deep sleep, even the sky in the distance had turned fish-belly white. Qi Xu still held her to clean up a bit, changed the bedsheets, tossed the old ones into the washing machine, and then prepared to sleep with Xia Zhiming.

Unfortunately, as soon as she lay down beside Xia Zhiming, a familiar sensation came over her… She had returned to her own body. She woke up and instinctively checked her phone. This time, she hadn’t slept long. The time showed just past 6 a.m. on August 18th, which lined up with when she had passed out earlier.

She set down the phone and began observing her surroundings. She was lying in the back seat of a car. Qi Xu was stunned for a moment and looked more closely. If not for the air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror and the little decorations on the center console, she really would have thought she’d been kidnapped by the Ghost Taxi again.

On top of that, she had a jacket draped over her. Somewhat dazed, Qi Xu took it off, opened the car door, and stepped out. She saw Zhang Ziyue standing with a somewhat familiar woman. Right now, they were in a parking lot.

Zhang Ziyue turned around, perhaps noticing the door opening behind her. “Qi Xu, you’re awake? You did great. Your roommates—I’ve already wiped their memories with my senior and sent them back to school. Don’t worry, they’re fine at most just a bit scared, lively and kicking, no need for the hospital.”

“Ah, okay, thanks.” Qi Xu sincerely thanked her and prepared to call a cab home. But Zhang Ziyue grabbed her. “Where are you going?”

Qi Xu was baffled. “Home?”

“…How about going to the hospital first?”

Qi Xu didn’t want to waste time at the hospital. She needed to hurry back now, or else when Xia Zhiming woke up the next day, she might run off again. Qi Xu understood Xia Zhiming very well now—she was shy about this stuff. Last time, on the second day, she hadn’t shown up. Partly because Qi Xu had things to do, but definitely also because she was too embarrassed to face her.

No matter what Qi Xu said, though, Zhang Ziyue wouldn’t let her go. She shoved her into the car and, with her senior, drove her to the hospital. Only after treating the wounds on her head and knee did they let Qi Xu leave.

At the hospital, after examining Qi Xu and quietly reviewing her medical history, the doctor offered a somewhat humorous suggestion. “If it’s really no good, why not go to a temple and get a peace talisman? I’ve noticed you keep getting hospitalized for concussions. Last time with the car accident, it was a concussion too. If this keeps up, you might end up with habitual concussions.”

“…” Qi Xu could only laugh it off awkwardly. She wanted to take it easy, but there was just no way!

Before heading home, Zhang Ziyue’s senior stopped her. “Don’t go out tonight. Yin energy is especially heavy today. Stay home obediently and don’t cause us trouble.”

Qi Xu said “oh” and was escorted right to her building by Zhang Ziyue and her senior. Qi Xu rushed up the stairs two at a time. As soon as she opened the door, she saw Xia Zhiming cursing under her breath while putting on her shoes. Qi Xu’s eyes widened, and she immediately demanded, “Are you trying to run away again!”

“Run your ass!” Xia Zhiming first bellowed with full force, then clutched her waist. Seeing this, Qi Xu panicked and stepped forward. “How are you feeling? Don’t move around. You were already complaining about your waist hurting last night.”

Xia Zhiming angrily kicked at Qi Xu. Qi Xu dodged—this was her human body, nowhere near as tough as the ghost body. Getting kicked would hurt like hell. Xia Zhiming missed the kick, strained her waist, and immediately started cursing again. “Dodging what? Huh? Dodging what? Who the hell made me like this? Speak up!”

“It was me…” Qi Xu said meekly. Xia Zhiming sucked in a breath, eased for a moment, then felt better. She continued putting on her shoes. Qi Xu wasn’t happy and just watched from the side. Once she finished, Qi Xu followed behind her like a tail. “Where are you going? I’m coming too. You’re not feeling well right now—don’t run around everywhere.”

Xia Zhiming covered her ears. “Annoying as hell! The Vice Bureau Chief called me. Don’t I have to go clean up your mess?”

“It’s not really my mess…” Qi Xu muttered softly, but this time Xia Zhiming didn’t let it slide. She dragged Qi Xu downstairs and called a car. Once inside, she kept nagging Qi Xu. “All your fault—my car is still back at the Ghost House! Who’s gonna bring it back? Can’t you use your brain when you do things…”

She ranted on, and Qi Xu could only listen. After all, she had gone pretty overboard last night. Xia Zhiming had some pent-up anger—let her vent.

They arrived at the Third Bureau soon after. Xia Zhiming went in first to talk with the Vice Bureau Chief for a bit. When they came out, Xia Zhiming told Qi Xu to stay put obediently. But Qi Xu refused. She stood up. “Are you going to find that Stinky Fortune-Teller? I want to go too. He knows a lot—definitely stuff about me. If it’s related to me, I have the right to know!”

The Vice Bureau Chief still had her eyes closed, but she tilted her head slightly toward Xia Zhiming, clearly checking her opinion. Xia Zhiming eyed Qi Xu for a moment and didn’t stop her. “If you wanna listen, listen.”

The Third Bureau had brought back the Stinky Fortune-Teller and kept him there. The Vice Bureau Chief had put him in a conference room, with the old woman from the Third Bureau guarding the door. She sat there with her arms crossed and nodded to the Vice Bureau Chief when she saw the three of them.

“Granny Li, thanks for the trouble. We’re going in to ask a few things.”

“Sure.”

So this old lady was surnamed Li—Qi Xu silently noted it. Granny Li didn’t seem to like Qi Xu much. She guessed it was probably because of her half-human half-ghost state. But with the Vice Bureau Chief and Xia Zhiming there, Granny Li didn’t give Qi Xu any attitude.

Following behind the two, Qi Xu entered the conference room too.

The Third Bureau hadn’t mistreated the Stinky Fortune-Teller. Besides silver handcuffs on his wrists, there was a golden rope—probably the legendary Immortal Binding Rope, or something similar, meant to bind people and prevent spellcasting.

When the Stinky Fortune-Teller saw the three of them, he immediately grinned. But he knew who was in charge—probably Xia Zhiming—so he quickly said to her, “Daoist Xia, spare me. I was tricked by someone. Otherwise, I never would have done something like that.”

“Cut the crap.”

Xia Zhiming pulled over a chair and sat across from the Stinky Fortune-Teller. The Vice Bureau Chief found a seat too. Seeing this, Qi Xu hurried over and sat beside Xia Zhiming.

Xia Zhiming stared at the Stinky Fortune-Teller for a while before suddenly asking, “Who gave you that intel?”

The Stinky Fortune-Teller chuckled happily. Qi Xu figured he was thinking: As expected, Xia Zhiming still wants to pry intel from me. He wanted to hold out for a better price, but Xia Zhiming didn’t give him the chance. She leaned back casually, looking utterly relaxed.

“Even if you don’t say, I know. It was my master, right? That old fart stirring up trouble all day. Looks like he still hasn’t digested what he snatched from me back then.”

—Oh, new character!

Qi Xu’s eyes lit up.