Chapter 39 Part 1

Qiao Ke hurriedly poured back in: “President Shi, President Shi, I’d better help you to the bedroom to rest. The waves are getting bigger, and the lower deck is swaying more than the upper one. The bedroom facilities are more complete, which will make your body a bit more comfortable.”

Shi Youwan retched a few times but didn’t vomit anything up.

But her stomach and mouth both felt very “sour.”

Her complexion at that moment must have been terrible. She was afraid Chi Yumo would see her ugly state and afraid she had bad breath.

“Mm, let’s go downstairs.”

She wanted to return to her room to touch up her makeup, to make her complexion look better, and to rinse her mouth to make her breath fresher.

As they passed the living room, Chi Yumo was no longer on the sofa. Shi Youwan looked outside and saw she had gone to the deck again, to the spot where they had fished that afternoon.

There wasn’t much daylight left, and visibility was very low.

Shi Youwan could only see Chi Yumo with her hands in the pockets of her gray sweatpants, her maple-red hair fluttering in the wind.

If Xiao Mo liked blue, then why had she dyed her hair maple red?

Blue and red, cool and warm colors—they clashed and represented two extreme tones.

Could it be because Shen Muxi liked red?

How deep had Xiao Mo’s dependence on Shen Muxi, her high regard for Shen Muxi, and the subtle influences from Shen Muxi become?

Xiao Mo, how could I re-enter your eyes, your heart?

By the time Shi Youwan and Qiao Ke went downstairs, Chi Yumo pulled her right hand out of her pocket. She had held her phone for so long that her palm was sweaty.

Fingerprint unlock—the screen showed the search entry for “how to treat stomach disease.” The previous search in her history was “what are the symptoms of stomach disease.”

The internet said that general “stomach diseases” were usually treated with medication combined with dietary adjustments.

Severe “stomach diseases” like gastric tumors, gastric polyps, or gastric perforation required surgery. Even more severe, advanced “stomach diseases” like stomach cancer needed chemotherapy, radiation, and targeted biological therapy.

What kind of “stomach disease” did Shi Youwan have, and how serious was it?

Chi Yumo irritably turned off the screen.

She pulled her left hand out of her pocket too and gripped the railing tighter and tighter, as if she wanted to crush it.

It had only been a year apart.

Shi Youwan, how had she let her own body deteriorate like this?

Didn’t she have a private doctor? Didn’t she have a whole hospital? Couldn’t such a large hospital cure her stomach disease?

Was she deliberately trying to make me feel heartbroken, to make me soften?

When Qiao Ke had gone up to deliver the medicine, she had instinctively walked to the stairwell and overheard the conversation between the two upstairs.

She was in so much pain that she took medicine, dry-heaved, needed support, yet still obsessed over this dinner. Qiao Ke truly didn’t know what words to use to describe Shi Youwan accurately.

Perhaps Shen Muxi’s curse of “crazy woman” was right.

The rational Shi Youwan yielding to her emotions was so unlike the Shi Youwan she knew. The former president of Shifeng Group, who planned strategies from behind the scenes and never let emotions run wild, had been the best. Why change?

In a moment, as if she had made some determination, Chi Yumo raised her left hand and then slammed it down hard on the railing.

Then, she shoved both hands back into her pockets and headed toward the living room.

She took the tablet and hadn’t gone down a few steps when she collided head-on with Qiao Ke, who was coming up.

Qiao Ke asked, “Are you going to find President Shi?” She even glanced at the tablet for a few extra seconds.

Chi Yumo nodded.

Qiao Ke kept a straight face but inwardly sighed in relief: “It’s good to have you with her. President Shi is in the master bedroom; the door isn’t locked. Knock and then go right in. Also, come up for dinner at six-thirty. Of course, a little later is fine too.”

If she had foresight, she probably would have blocked Chi Yumo from going down right then, instead of saying something like “a little later is fine.”

Chi Yumo found the door marked as the master bedroom, knocked, and—as Qiao Ke had said—paused for a few seconds before pressing down the handle and entering.

The room wasn’t large, rectangular in shape. One side had the bed and an en-suite bathroom; the other had a sofa chair, wardrobe, vanity, and such.

The bedside lamp was on. The person on the bed thought it was Qiao Ke entering: “Did you forget something?”

As soon as she opened her eyes and saw it was Chi Yumo, she ignored the pain in her stomach and the dizziness in her head, propping herself up to sit.

One hand pressed down the thin blanket, the other smoothed her hair, and she smiled somewhat awkwardly: “Xiao Mo, why did you come down?”

But after just one question, she lowered her head.

She should have touched up her makeup first.

Then she thought that with only the wall lamp on in the room, on this side by the bed, it probably wouldn’t illuminate her face.

And indeed, as Shi Youwan thought, Chi Yumo couldn’t see her face clearly, but she could hear the fatigue in her forced smile, like fine porcelain on the verge of shattering.

She typed: 【President Shi isn’t feeling well. We should head back early.】

Seeing the words on the tablet, Shi Youwan lifted her head a bit, her corners of her mouth curving: “I’m fine. It’s rare to come out to sea; the night sky at sea is different from on land. I want to see it a bit more.”

With you.

Just a bit more.

After simply saying a few sentences, her throat suddenly itched.

Shi Youwan pressed the back of her hand under her nose and turned her head aside, trying to suppress the itchy pain in her throat.

Her sickly self must have looked extremely pale and unsightly. She didn’t want Xiao Mo to see this frail side, nor did she want to use it to gain Xiao Mo’s sympathy.

What she wanted was Xiao Mo’s love.

Watching this woman who, even when sick, insisted on staying at sea until dark and delaying the return voyage, Chi Yumo felt anger surging uncontrollably. She was angry at Shi Youwan’s stubbornness and at herself for still feeling heartbroken.

There was a glass of water on the bedside table. Chi Yumo first touched it with her finger to confirm it was warm, then picked it up and handed it to her to soothe her throat.

“Thank you, Xiao Mo.”

Shi Youwan happily took the water, her fingertips brushing Chi Yumo’s fingers.

Chi Yumo didn’t dodge away as if avoiding it. If she had, the water would probably have spilled on the bed.

Having touched Chi Yumo, Shi Youwan felt even happier inside. After drinking the water, her throat instantly felt much better—no itch, no pain.

Every moment of closeness with Xiao Mo was a healing balm for her weary body and mind.

Her physical condition was terrible; no amount of medicine helped. But a simple gesture from Xiao Mo, a casual word of concern, was more effective than any miracle drug.

Seeing Shi Youwan had drunk half the glass, Chi Yumo reached out again to take the cup and return it.

But Shi Youwan didn’t hand over the cup. Instead, with her other hand, she gently grasped Chi Yumo’s outstretched right wrist palm-up, her thumb lightly touching the half-exposed tattoo peeking from the sleeve.

“Xiao Mo, can we return a bit later?”

Having tasted sweetness, Shi Youwan looked up at the little Alpha who was finally showing concern for her again, her tone laced with a smile. “Since reuniting, we haven’t sat down for a proper meal together, nor spent any good alone time.”

The room’s atmosphere was so warm, the Omega’s tone so gentle, their actions so ambiguous. Yet Chi Yumo’s heart was long encased in layers of cold, hard frost.

—Don’t worry, she’ll come back. A blood-and-qi-vibrant little Alpha—just coax her with some tricks.

Chi Yumo withdrew her hand.

【What kind of alone time does President Shi want?】

She sneered coldly, leaned down, and pulled open the bedside drawer, revealing the various “toys” inside.

Shi Youwan turned her head and saw the drawer full of sex toys; her face instantly paled, and her left hand holding the water glass trembled from the force.

Chi Yumo typed furiously in frustration: 【Over a year apart, and President Shi has let loose like this, playing so wildly? Learned it from whom? Your ex-fiancée Yin Man?】

【Hooking up with an ex-lover on your ex-fiancée’s yacht—does President Shi find it fun and thrilling?】

Feeling Chi Yumo’s anger, Shi Youwan panicked and knelt up on the bed. She wanted to pull her but didn’t dare touch again, so she urgently and plaintively explained to Chi Yumo.

“No, Xiao Mo, I have no fiancée, never have. In this life, besides you, I won’t marry anyone else as my wife, nor have any other ‘wife.’ Not even nominally.”

—Sister, I don’t want you to become someone else’s wife, not even nominally.

—Xiao Mo, what made you so brazen? What made you think I, president of Shifeng Group, could be manipulated at will?

The cruel exchange from the day they “broke up” buzzed in Chi Yumo’s ears like thunderclaps, repeatedly reminding her:

Don’t believe her words; believing would only repeat the mistakes, being toyed with by the powerful again. Don’t be naive anymore—you have no future together; you’re just their pastime toy when they’re bored.

In an instant, the nauseating things from Li Longfeng’s room flashed through her mind.

In the deathly silence, a mocking smile appeared on Chi Yumo’s icy face, turning Shi Youwan’s hopes to ashes.

She herself had a yacht, but it wasn’t in Lingjiang City; it was in another coastal city.

When had Xiao Mo discovered the yacht was Yin Man’s?

And how had she found the things in the cabinet?

Was Xiao Mo so angry because of Yin Man, or because of that pile of obscene sex toys?

Too many questions swirled in her panic, and Shi Youwan couldn’t sort them out one by one. She only thought desperately that no matter what, she couldn’t let Xiao Mo misunderstand her relationship with Yin Man anymore.

“Xiao Mo, I’m sorry. I apologize to you. I shouldn’t have borrowed Yin Man’s yacht to bring you out to sea. About what happened a year ago, I still owe you an explanation. Please believe me—I’ve never been engaged to Yin Man, nor had any affair with her. From beginning to end, she’s just an ordinary friend. Back then, Yin Man didn’t know I had someone I liked, so she proposed a contractual marriage to ask for my help. Once she knew, she gave up using marriage to gain shares.”

She no longer cared if today was the best time for explanations; she feared that if she missed today, seeing Chi Yumo again would be even harder.

“I agreed to help not to force you away. I did it because I wanted—I wanted you to see that being by my side meant far more than just nameless, hiding in shadows. There were many other unknown situations and heartaches.”

“Xiao Mo, the one who was terribly wrong was me.”

The water glass slipped from Shi Youwan’s hand, rolling onto the goose-yellow blanket, leaving a trail of water stains that slowly spread, soaking everything in their path to deep yellow, just as they plunged her bright smile from minutes ago into darkness.

She clutched the blanket tightly with both hands, head bowed, too ashamed to face the girl she held deep in her heart but had hurt so profoundly.

That morning of the 28th finals, she had gone to see the psychologist recommended by Shen Muxi.

Since Shen Muxi had learned that Shi Youwan was likely Chi Yumo’s “key,” the psychologist had selected a few key questions to share with her.

—The second time Mo Yu came to see me, I asked her: what is your greatest fear in your heart?

—She said she most feared endless darkness, because in the dark, pain amplifies infinitely. She also feared the Susceptible Period breaking through the threshold when she was alone and helpless in the darkness… that unbearable urge to die.

—Mo Yu has insomnia, often unable to sleep at night. In the early stages of losing her voice, she was plagued by nightmares. So I asked her: if you could create your own dream, what would you most want to see? What would you most fear seeing?

—She said she most wanted to see Mom and Dad; what she most feared seeing was also Mom and Dad. Because even in dreams, she couldn’t see their faces clearly.

The psychologist’s words deepened Shi Youwan’s guilt and remorse for the harm Chi Yumo had suffered. The pain in the darkness and the unbearable Susceptible Period agony—these were both consequences she had sown.

If only their story were editable in a document?

Mistaken choices and improper plots could be undone, deleted, and rewritten anytime.

[President Shi, no regrets after the move has been made—these four words are for you too. I’ll say it again: my loss of voice has nothing to do with President Shi. Let bygones be bygones. Please don’t bring up the past to embarrass me anymore. Besides, with President Shi’s unparalleled elegance, there are plenty of outstanding Alphas in the world willing to serve you.]

When Shi Youwan said she “had someone she liked,” Chi Yumo had actually dazedly thought that Shi Youwan was talking about her. How could it possibly be her?

She calmly finished typing, tugged at the blanket covering Shi Youwan, and handed her the tablet to read.

After reading the long passage, Shi Youwan panicked even more.

“I don’t need any other Alpha.”

I like you, and I only want you. The heartfelt confession stuck in Shi Youwan’s throat. She tilted her head back slightly in a daze, her eyes misty with tears.

“Xiao Mo, I don’t dare hope for your forgiveness. I just ask you to give me a little more time. We… we can… cough, cough.”

Before she finished speaking, Shi Youwan started coughing.

Hearing her successive muffled coughs and seeing her shoulders shake continuously, the distraught Chi Yumo caught that alluring lotus scent again.

What could they do?

Continue being lovers? Continue “making deals” in bed?