Chapter 153: Remembering
Years had passed since she last saw Huo Ningning. She had left their home at six, her life since then a blur of hardship and survival, the memories of her childhood fading. She vaguely recalled living with a kind woman named Wu Siyu, who had a daughter she had played with, but she couldn’t remember the girl’s name.
Until now…
She remembered.
Her name was Huo Ningning. Her friend. Once upon a time.
“You…”
Yu Linna, snapping back to reality, looked at Huo Ningning standing on the bridge, her glasses removed, her face now clearly resembling the girl from her memory. She was older now, her features more mature, her figure slimmer, her eyes smaller.
“You remember?”
Huo Ningning put her glasses back on. Part of her hoped Yu Linna wouldn’t remember, yet another part of her desperately wanted her to. She was always conflicted.
Yu Linna’s initial surprise gave way to a quiet sadness as a buried wound reopened, the pain resurfacing.
The hurt Huo Ningning had inflicted, a pain she had suppressed, now returned.
“After you left, I cried every day, begging my mother to bring you back. I had never begged her for anything other than toys, never for so long. But no matter how much I begged, you never came back. I finally had to accept that you were truly gone.”
Huo Ningning’s voice was filled with guilt and regret.
As a child, she had spoken carelessly, her words like salt on an open wound, unaware of the pain she was causing. By the time she realized her mistake, it was too late. Yu Linna was gone, and she never had a chance to apologize.
She had been so heartbroken, so devastated.
She had treated her best friend, almost like a sister, so cruelly. Huo Ningning had a family, parents who loved her, but Yu Linna had nothing. How could she have been so heartless?
The guilt had lingered for years, fading with time, yet still resurfacing in nightmares, leaving her crying in the night.
She had thought she would never see Yu Linna again, until, near the end of her second year of high school, she discovered they attended the same school, a realization that both surprised and saddened her.
“When I saw you again, you had forgotten me. No matter how I tried to jog your memory, you didn’t seem to remember. It’s understandable. It was so long ago, and you only lived with us for a month. But I never had the courage to tell you, to tell you I was Huo Ningning.”
Yu Linna’s emotions were a mixture of sadness and understanding.
She finally understood why Huo Ningning had been so persistent, so clingy, following her like a shadow, spending all her money just to make her smile.
It wasn’t just a simple crush; it was guilt, a desire to make amends.
Huo Ningning’s persistence, her clumsy attempts at rekindling their friendship, had backfired, pushing Yu Linna away.
“What a small world…”
Yu Linna sighed, looking up at the sky.
She had moved to this city when she was eleven. The city where she had lived with Wu Siyu was different; she hadn’t known Wu Siyu had also moved here, surprised to encounter her again.
And she hadn’t expected Wu Siyu’s daughter to be her classmate.
To be reunited with someone she had lost contact with so long ago… it felt surreal.
“Little Linna, I… I’ve been wanting to tell you…”
“Don’t. I’m still an outsider. I know that. That’s why I left.”
Yu Linna’s forced smile couldn’t hide the sadness in her eyes.
Having burdened Wu Siyu’s family, making it impossible for them to keep her, she had come to believe she was a burden to everyone, becoming overly considerate, careful not to impose, despite her tendency to freeload.
“I should go…”
She turned to leave, her back a picture of loneliness.
She shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have asked that question, shouldn’t have reopened that old wound.
“Wait! Little Linna! Don’t go…”
Huo Ningning’s voice was laced with desperation, a pleading tone different from her childhood confidence. Back then, she had led their games, Yu Linna always following her lead. Now, Yu Linna wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t follow, wouldn’t be led.
“Don’t call me that.”
“We’re not… like that anymore.”
“I don’t deserve to be your friend.”
Having been hurt once, she didn’t want to be hurt again.
Nangong Ying’s recent betrayal had deepened her wounds, making her wary of trusting anyone, especially those who had hurt her before. That pain was too raw, too real.
Huo Ningning had reopened that wound, reminding her of that painful childhood memory. If it weren’t for Huo Ningning’s cruel words, she wouldn’t have left so readily.
Words could inflict deep wounds, and Huo Ningning was now paying the price for her childhood carelessness, a punishment that had lasted for ten years, perhaps even longer.
Yu Linna, still in her men’s clothing, walked off the bridge, returning to Tang Yumeng’s side. Tang Yumeng, seeing her distress, was worried. She had been fine just moments ago; what had happened?
“I have to go. I’ll see you later.”
Yu Linna’s tone betrayed her emotions. The sadness, the pain… Tang Yumeng, an actress, could hear it in her voice.
“Linna, I’ll walk you home.”
Tang Yumeng didn’t want to leave her alone, especially in her current state. And with night approaching, it wasn’t safe for a girl to walk alone.
Yu Linna didn’t object, simply nodding silently.
Huo Ningning watched them leave, her hands clenched, her heart aching, her head bowed. A tear rolled down her cheek, her expression hidden.
Yu Linna wouldn’t forgive her.
It was understandable. She had hurt her deeply, and to expect forgiveness… it was wishful thinking. Yu Linna had left because she realized she was an outsider, a realization brought about by Huo Ningning’s own words.
She had to bear the responsibility.
Yu Linna walked, her head down, her heart heavy, unsure if it was still capable of warmth, a coldness seeping into her bones.
Having been hurt, betrayed, she wouldn’t go back. Forgiving Huo Ningning, rekindling their friendship… it was impossible. She didn’t want to be hurt again.
Friendship, companionship… it was all a lie. Everyone wanted to hurt her, to deceive her, to betray her. She owed them nothing, yet they still hurt her.
Nangong Ying was a prime example.
Nangong Ying, the one who had hurt her the most. And they had once been friends.
“Linna, are you okay?”
Tang Yumeng’s concern was genuine. She had never seen Yu Linna like this before. She didn’t know her well, having only met recently, but seeing her pain made her heart ache, igniting a protective instinct within her.
From their conversation, she had pieced together the story: a childhood friendship broken by betrayal, years of separation, and a reunion filled with regret.
It sounded like a cliché, but it was likely close to the truth.
“Senior Yumeng, if someone hurt you, then came back and said they were sorry, what would you do? Would you forgive them?”
“…I don’t know.”
Yu Linna had asked her this question before, and she had answered. But now, she hesitated.
“I haven’t experienced anything like that,” she added.
She didn’t know what Yu Linna had been through, couldn’t understand her pain, couldn’t answer her question. It was too difficult.
“I wouldn’t forgive them.”
“…Because you still hate them?”
“I’m afraid they’ll hurt me again. I’m afraid.”
Yu Linna was truly afraid of being hurt again. Huo Ningning’s words had been a harsh reminder of the world’s cruelty, a betrayal that cut deeper than any other, coming from her best friend.
Nangong Ying’s betrayal had further solidified her fear, extinguishing the last embers of trust within her. She had learned that trusting others only brought pain. She would never trust anyone again, not completely, not even Ye Zhiyun.
Just as she had said at Ye Zhiyun’s house, she would never fully trust anyone, not even her friends. Because her trust had been rewarded with unimaginable pain. It was better to be wary than to be hurt again.
“Linna, I’ll walk you home. No one will hurt you.”
Tang Yumeng, unable to offer any real comfort, could only offer her protection, her presence a small reassurance. Being older, she felt responsible for Yu Linna’s safety, even if she couldn’t alleviate her pain.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay?” she repeated.
