Chapter 181: Too Late
“Are we… close?”
Not a harsh rebuke, not an angry outburst, not even a question, but a simple statement, far more cutting than any accusation.
Nangong Ying would have preferred anger, blame, even hatred, over this indifference, this distance, this… nothingness.
“Linna… I… I still… miss you…”
“…”
“I’ve been thinking a lot since then. I know I can’t undo what I’ve done. I shouldn’t have said those things. I was wrong.”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
The apology, once longed for, now brought no comfort, no relief. Yu Linna felt nothing.
She was no longer the naive, trusting girl she once was. The same tricks wouldn’t work on her again. She had trusted Nangong Ying completely, only to be betrayed. And now, she sought forgiveness? Impossible.
Her unwavering trust had been rewarded with a painful lesson. Since then, she had vowed never to trust anyone completely, no matter how kind, how trustworthy they seemed.
It was all thanks to Nangong Ying.
“I have to go. I’m busy.”
“Linna, I heard you’re a novelist now. Is that true?”
“…”
“Can you tell me… what you’re working on?”
Nangong Ying’s persistence was… unsettling.
Yu Linna had no interest in her, none whatsoever.
She was just… a pathetic figure, clinging to excuses, her dreams, her ambitions, all a mask for her own selfish desires.
“I’m just an ordinary high school student. I can’t afford to associate with Miss Nangong, the celebrity, the public figure.”
“Linna…”
“Goodbye.”
Yu Linna turned to leave.
Suddenly, Nangong Ying grabbed her hand, her grip tight, refusing to let go. Yu Linna struggled, but Nangong Ying’s strength, honed from years of martial arts training, was overwhelming, Yu Linna’s struggles futile, like a lamb trapped in a lion’s grasp. Nangong Ying pulled her closer, their bodies touching.
Nangong Ying’s chest pressed against Yu Linna’s back, her hand still gripping Yu Linna’s tightly, preventing her escape. Yu Linna, realizing she couldn’t break free, stopped struggling.
“What’s the point of this?”
She didn’t understand Nangong Ying’s intentions.
She had pushed Yu Linna away, condemned her to hell, and now… she wanted her back?
What was she thinking?
“Linna…”
Her voice was hoarse, pleading.
“I’m sorry…”
She had betrayed Yu Linna, offered her up to Chenghe, and now, she sought forgiveness.
Nangong Ying, had she no shame?
To achieve her desires, she would abandon even her pride? First, it was Yu Linna; now, it was her own dignity.
“Nangong, you knew this day would come, and yet you still did it. Why?”
“…I… I realized… life without you… is lonely.”
“Then do you know how much I suffered?! How could you be so selfish?! Discarding me so easily, without a second thought! And now, you’re lonely, you regret your actions, and you want me back? You think a simple ‘I’m lonely’ will earn you my forgiveness? You think I’ll agree?!”
“Linna…”
“I’m not angry at you. I don’t hate you. I hate myself, the naive, foolish girl I used to be. Nangong, we both have our own lives, our own careers, our own circles. Let’s not… interfere with each other anymore. Okay?”
Pulling free from Nangong Ying’s grasp, Yu Linna gave her a cold, indifferent look and walked away, without looking back.
She didn’t blame Nangong Ying, didn’t hate her. As she had said, they both had their own lives now; there was no point dwelling on the past. They were strangers now, nothing more.
Nangong Ying watched her go, her heart aching, a sharp pang of regret.
How could this be…?
She had convinced herself she had done the right thing, forging ahead on her chosen path, but seeing Yu Linna, she regretted her decision.
If she hadn’t offered Yu Linna up to Chenghe, would things be different now?
If she had chosen Yu Linna over fame, would she be happier?
She didn’t know, couldn’t know. The past couldn’t be changed.
She only knew that her heart ached.
So this was how Yu Linna had felt, the pain of betrayal…
No, Yu Linna’s pain must have been far greater.
Yu Linna had contemplated suicide, while she, Nangong Ying, had continued her carefree life.
“Linna…”
She looked at her empty hand, memories of their shared past flooding her mind, the pain intensifying.
She was so pathetic…
Yu Linna, however, paid no attention to Nangong Ying, her focus on the present, the past irrelevant. Dwelling on it was pointless.
She wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t be naive, wouldn’t be angry. She had grown up.
She was no longer the same Yu Linna.
“So… you and Nangong… you had a fight, right?”
Fang Jiangning, seeing Yu Linna’s cold, indifferent expression, knew something had happened.
She remembered their close friendship, their after-school ice cream trips, Yu Linna shamelessly stealing bites from Nangong Ying’s cone, Nangong Ying indulging her.
Less than a year had passed; how had things changed so drastically?
“It’s all in the past. There’s nothing to talk about.”
Yu Linna’s tone was dismissive.
Nangong Ying was her past; she didn’t need her in her future.
Clinging to the past was pointless.
Fang Jiangning, sensing her reluctance, didn’t press the issue. Whatever had happened between them was their business; it was best not to pry.
Yu Linna had truly let go of Nangong Ying, her focus now on the upcoming gaokao, less than a month away.
Shion’s popularity gradually waned, the initial excitement fading, though dedicated fans still frequented the online forums, searching for any information about the mysterious author, their attempts to find Shion’s QQ account unsuccessful.
They could only wait for the release of Shion’s new novel in June.
The wait was agonizing.
But there was nothing they could do; their idol was a high school student, preparing for the crucial exams. Demanding updates was unreasonable.
“Xiaohan, it’s almost midnight! Go to bed! You have school tomorrow!”
“Okay, Mom, I’m going.”
A fan, having reread Ballad of the Enchantress, reluctantly put down the book and prepared for bed.
“Ugh, I can’t wait for June! But I have the gaokao too! I’ll have to wait until after the exams!”
She looked at the messages in the group chat, sighing. She wouldn’t be able to participate for a while. She was a dedicated fan, the only female admin of the group.
But her studies had to come first. Though disappointed, she found comfort in knowing her idol, Shion-sensei, was also facing the same challenges. She hoped to run into Shion-sensei during the exams, perhaps even get an autograph.
But it was just a wishful thought.
She turned off the lights and went to bed.
With Shion’s popularity declining, Yu Linna, no longer concerned about social media, focused on her studies, everything else secondary.
The snack offerings at school continued, though less frequent, her classmates, under pressure from the approaching exams, reluctantly putting aside their snacks and returning to their textbooks.
“Little Linna, I don’t understand this question.”
Huo Ningning approached, her math test in hand, seeking help.
Yu Linna, unable to refuse, patiently explained the problem.
Huo Ningning had been studying hard, her progress, though not as dramatic as Fang Jiangning’s, still commendable, having climbed into the top twenty of their grade.
However, she rarely interacted with Yu Linna lately, her usual persistence replaced by a quiet reserve.
“Do you understand now?”
“Yes. Little Linna, I have another question.”
“What is it?”
“After the exams… can you come to my house? My mother wants to see you.”
“What are you planning?”
Yu Linna was suspicious.
She didn’t like Huo Ningning.
Though they had been close as children, that was in the past. She no longer felt the same connection.
They couldn’t go back to those carefree days of playing house and dolls.
“Little Linna, I told you, I won’t give up.”
“Don’t… don’t say it like that. It’s… weird. I’m a girl, you know.”
“I know, I know.”
Did she really?
Yu Linna felt a strange vibe from her, a hint of… something else.
Was this girl… interested in her? The thought made her uncomfortable.
Though she had once been a boy, her current preferences were… complicated. She hadn’t considered a relationship with a girl.
“So, Little Linna, let’s de-stress before the gaokao.”
“Where?”
“A hotel.”
“…I’m calling the police.”
“No, no, you misunderstand! I mean… we can go somewhere, spend a night… have some fun…”
“No, I refuse.”
The atmosphere became increasingly awkward…
