Shion’s Notes 227

Chapter 227: The Decision

The living room was deathly silent; they could hear each other’s breathing. The diary lying on the table was the source of it all. Ye Zhiyun stood there, not daring to breathe, facing her own family, unsure of what to do.

It had always been her looking down on others. She never thought she would be the one being suppressed. This feeling was truly awful. Yet, she couldn’t resist.

“Not going to talk?”

Li Jing was unhurried, continuing to pour herself tea. She had also prepared a cup for Ye Zhiyun on the table, but Ye Zhiyun had no intention of sitting down to drink it. At this moment, she couldn’t possibly have such a thought.

Ye Zhiyun gritted her teeth, clenching her fists. She wanted to say something, but now, she couldn’t say anything at all.

“Auntie, this is my private matter. You shouldn’t worry about it. And… you shouldn’t have read my diary. You went too far…”

Li Jing remained unmoved, still sipping her tea.

“It was wrong of me to read your diary. I don’t want to explain anything. Wrong is wrong. But Zhiyun, what about you? What do you think of yourself? You’re a girl. Do you understand that?”

Putting down her teacup, Li Jing said faintly.

Now that things had come to this, Li Jing didn’t want to make excuses for herself. But she had seen the truth, she knew Ye Zhiyun’s secret. She couldn’t just pretend she hadn’t seen it. That was obviously impossible.

“Zhiyun, I don’t intend to interfere with your private affairs. After all, it’s not my place. Who you want to be with is your own business. But I think it’s necessary to tell your mother about this.”

In an instant, Ye Zhiyun’s pupils dilated. It was like a bolt from the blue, the most fatal blow she could receive.

Her mother didn’t know about her feelings for Yu Linna. She had always been obedient to her mother. If her mother found out that her daughter, instead of having a proper relationship, had fallen for a girl, she would definitely be very angry.

Her aunt might not make a big deal out of it, but her mother’s side would not be so calm.

At this thought, Ye Zhiyun was terrified. She was afraid that after her secret was revealed, the Ye family would forbid her from seeing Yu Linna, and might even do something bad to her. If it involved Ye Zhiyun, they were very likely to do so.

“Auntie, don’t… I’m begging you. Please… don’t tell my mom.”

It was the first time she had ever begged her aunt.

She had never begged her for anything in her entire life, never. Only this time, she bowed her head.

She didn’t want her feelings to be nipped in the bud before they even had a chance to start. She hadn’t even had a chance to confess, to tell her “I like you.” There were so many things she hadn’t done yet. She didn’t want it to end like this. This was not good at all.

She liked Nana so much, she longed to be with her so much. School was about to start, and they would soon have plenty of time to be together. They hadn’t even had a chance to eat in the same cafeteria, to take the same elective class, or even to walk around the campus together. She didn’t want it to end before it had even begun.

She really liked her.

“Sigh.”

Li Jing sighed.

It wasn’t that she was dissatisfied with her choice. She could just ignore it; there was no need to get involved. But the thought that this was her niece made her feel uneasy. This was her sister’s daughter. If her sister knew that her daughter was in this situation, she would surely be very disappointed.

Li Jing had never thought of herself as a good person, nor did she care what others thought of her.

But this was her sister’s daughter. She didn’t want to just leave it alone.

“I don’t want to interfere with your choice. That’s your private matter. But I have to give your mother an explanation.”

“Auntie… I’ve never asked you for anything since I was a child. Zhiyun only has one wish in her life. Please don’t tell my mom, okay? At worst, I just won’t see her.”

This was the only concession Ye Zhiyun could make, and it was the cruelest choice for her.

She could only temporarily stop contacting her, stop seeing her, and lay low for a while. This was the only way. Only this way could she protect her secret, protect her and Yu Linna. Although it would be very painful for a long time, it was the most effective method.

Li Jing didn’t want to make things difficult for her either. After all, she had watched Zhiyun grow up. Besides, she wasn’t her mother; there was no need to interfere too much. But the fact that Ye Zhiyun was a lesbian, she couldn’t help but be biased. She still hoped that Ye Zhiyun could become a normal person.

“Don’t contact her recently, and don’t call her either. As for what’s written in the diary, I can turn a blind eye. But you must promise me not to have any contact with her.”

“…Okay, I promise you.”

She lowered her head, biting her lower lip, her eyes shut tight, forcing herself to make the most painful decision.

She was so unwilling. Why wasn’t she strong enough? Why was she so weak? If only she were a little stronger, her aunt would have no way to control her. In the end, she was too useless, too weak. But to protect the current Yu Linna, this was the only thing she could do.

Although her aunt wasn’t an unreasonable person, she was very similar to her mother in her youth. Both had strong and domineering personalities. If things didn’t go her way, no one could say what she would do. What’s more, she was now using this to blackmail her. If her parents found out, if her relatives found out, then she, Ye Zhiyun, would have no place in the Ye family.

This era was not yet open enough to accept same-sex marriage.

Li Jing was in the wrong, that was true. She shouldn’t have read her diary. But compared to what Ye Zhiyun had done, it seemed Ye Zhiyun’s actions were more prominent. In any case, homosexuality was not looked upon favorably in the eyes of a large family.

Her parents might be okay, but what about her grandparents…?

Ye Zhiyun didn’t dare to think about it anymore.

Li Jing returned the diary to her. Ye Zhiyun immediately set a new password, one she had never set before. But even so, it was useless. The contents of the diary were already known. It was too late to mend the fence after the sheep had been stolen. Although Li Jing wouldn’t say anything, as a smart person, Ye Zhiyun knew that her weakness was now firmly in her aunt’s hands. It wouldn’t be strange if it were used as a means to exploit her at any time.

Ye Zhiyun locked herself in her room and fiercely threw the diary onto the bed. The feelings for Yu Linna inside, the love for Yu Linna, had become a weakness that threatened her.

“Ahhhhhh!!!”

She vented, punching the headboard. A few teardrops fell onto the bedsheet. She knelt powerlessly, feeling a heart-wrenching pain. So this was how painful it could be to like someone, how sad it could be. What was even more detestable was that liking someone had to be met with the cold glares of the world. How she wished she could not care about others’ gazes, not care about others’ thoughts, and walk openly with Yu Linna. But she couldn’t.

She was a member of the Ye family. She was Ye Siyuan’s daughter.

Her identity, her responsibility, her burden, none of them allowed her to do so.

Even if she wanted to abandon everything, she didn’t have the ability to protect Yu Linna well.

What’s more, she didn’t even know if Yu Linna would accept her.

“Wuwuwu…”

She covered her face and cried. Ye Zhiyun, with her strong heart and innate pride, finally bowed her head in the face of reality. She was unwilling, she refused to accept such a fact. If she could, how she wished she could be strong enough to make the whole world shut up about her sexual orientation.

If she were strong enough, no one would be able to interfere with her.

But now, she couldn’t.

Ye Zhiyun locked herself up. She didn’t eat dinner. She just stayed in her room, hugging her diary, not even turning on the lights, alone in the darkness with only the air for company.

“Zhiyun’s not eating?”

“She said she doesn’t want to eat.”

“Is she not feeling well? Should we take her to see a doctor?”

“Mm.”

“Auntie, did something happen to her?”

“I don’t know.”

Li Jing still appeared very calm, without a hint of fluctuation. Of course, she knew why Ye Zhiyun was sad. It was just because of Yu Linna.

She sometimes wondered if she was being a bit too harsh.

But she quickly suppressed this thought. Young people are always impulsive. Liking someone now doesn’t mean she will always stay true to her initial feelings. Perhaps after a long time, she will find that it was just an impulse of her youth.

Privately, she didn’t want Ye Zhiyun to have any entanglement with Yu Linna. She didn’t like Yu Linna to begin with, and now that Ye Zhiyun was infatuated with her, her mood was even worse.

…

In China, Yu Linna had not yet noticed any changes. After ending the call with Ye Zhiyun, she had been in a state of high-intensity work, completely unaware of what had happened. Once she entered a working state, she basically paid no attention to the outside world.

As for Fang Jiangning, after streaming for a while, she remembered what Yu Linna had said. After thinking it over, she talked to her parents, clearly expressing her desire to stream with her face revealed. Her parents were still perfunctory, giving a vague answer. Fang Jiangning decided to act first and report later.

“Linna, I’m going to stream with my face revealed! I’m so nervous! Can you stream with me?”

“No. You stream by yourself.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re my best friend Little Na, right? If you stream with me, maybe you can gain a lot of fans too and become a popular female streamer.”

“Sorry, I have fans too, and I can make a lot of money now without being a streamer.”

“Stingy, go drink cold water!”

In short, Fang Jiangning had already updated her Weibo status early on, stating that she would be revealing her face soon.

“After thinking it over, I’m about to become a university student. I want to go wild one last time in my youth. I might reveal my face this week. Let me think about which auspicious day would be good.”

When this Weibo post was published, it once became a hot topic. Many fans left comments below, expressing their anticipation. Little Angel was also a well-known uploader on Bilibili. The videos she made were very popular, and she had a lot of subscribers. Her live streams also had many loyal fans watching. Fans just liked to listen to her voice, and because she had her own unique style when streaming and making videos, she was hailed as a goddess by many fans.

Now that this Bilibili goddess was about to reveal her appearance, how could it not attract attention? It was practically a major earthquake on Bilibi.