Chapter 336: Resolute
Huo Ningning had had feelings for her for a long time, not just for a day or two. Ever since she found out about this girl’s thoughts, Yu Linna had wanted to avoid her for a long time. Now, she also knew very well what Huo Ningning was thinking about her. She just didn’t dare to face it. After all, she couldn’t bear her love for her.
Plus, they were both girls. This world did not welcome them.
“Little Linna, I want to be with you, no matter what. As long as you want, we can even form a family. Weren’t we able to become family before? I want to take this opportunity to fulfill the unfinished wish from before.”
“Ningning, doing this is not good for you or me.”
She had already said it to this extent. As for what Huo Ningning would do, that was her business.
Hanging up the phone, looking at the starry sky, the stars twinkling, the moon hanging high, how she wished a shooting star would fly by, so she could make a wish and have the great god fulfill her wish of no longer being troubled.
Her struggling life had begun when she had taken a flyer from Nangong Ying’s hand. From that moment on, she had no way back. Although Nangong Ying was really hateful, hurting her feelings, she also had to admit that if it weren’t for Nangong Ying doing this to her, it would have been impossible for her to clearly recognize the gap between her and the world, let alone find her own direction. In a sense, Nangong Ying had also helped her.
She suddenly missed Ye Zhiyun a little, missed that her who was also struggling.
I want to see her so much.
When her career was not going well, when she encountered difficulties in her creation, she always wanted to see her. The current Ye Zhiyun rarely came to school anymore, just having her name on the roster. Although they were in the same school, Ye Zhiyun was often busy with this and that outside.
Why not go and see her?
A bold idea popped into Yu Linna’s mind.
She called Ye Zhiyun.
“Zhiyun.”
“Nana? It’s so late. What do you need me for?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to call you.”
“Is that so? Alright. I can accompany you with whatever you want to say.”
“Where are you? Can I see you?”
When Ye Zhiyun had left her and started to make her own way outside, Yu Linna had experienced the taste of longing for the first time. She had never thought she would miss someone so much, miss them to the point where she didn’t even recognize herself. Before, she had no attachments, but now, she couldn’t let go.
I really want to see her.
Ever since Yu Linna had become a novelist, the time Ye Zhiyun had spent alone with her had gradually decreased. Especially during the summer vacation last year, Ye Zhiyun had taken the initiative to leave her. The time they saw each other became less and less, until there was none. And now that Ye Zhiyun was out making her own way, wanting to start a business, the time she could spend with her was even less. The two of them basically gathered less and parted more, and had not been together much.
“I’m in Shenzhen discussing a project, and also thinking about how to get some investment. Come if you want.”
“Really? Then I’ll go and find you.”
“Okay.”
After hanging up the phone, Yu Linna almost jumped up with joy. Her heart was now almost filled with joy. She touched her flushed cheeks, her heart beating very fast. The thought of being able to see her soon made her very happy. She really couldn’t wait to see her and go out to play with her again. Every time the two of them went out to play, Ye Zhiyun was always very gentle to her and would buy her everything. She remembered that when Ye Zhiyun treated others, she was not as good as when she was with her at all.
As for school?
She could just ask for leave. She could just say she had to go out for work. The school knew her identity. It was impossible for them not to let her go.
Having special privileges really meant you could do whatever you wanted.
When Yu Linna returned to the dorm to pack her luggage, Lan Ranyan came over and asked:
“Linna, going out again?”
“Yes, probably for about a week.”
“Work?”
“Personal reasons.”
“Oh.”
Lan Ranyan didn’t ask any more questions, just knowing from her mouth that she was going to Shenzhen for her own personal reasons. She didn’t know the specifics. But her appearance was like a young girl in love, running to another city to find her boyfriend. Lan Ranyan even felt that this was very possible. Think about it: every time Yu Linna went out to the balcony to make a phone call, when she was chatting with a certain someone, she would occasionally show a smile that was not usually seen, and even show a very gentle expression. That was the look of someone in love.
But with Yu Linna’s conditions, it was not a big deal to fall in love. As long as she wanted to, who could she not find? It mainly depended on whether she was willing or not.
Yu Linna ran off the next day, having bought a train ticket early and left, taking her laptop with her as usual. Bai Ya from the dorm next door saw her go out again and teased her, asking if she was going to find her boyfriend. Yu Linna was so embarrassed she almost hit her. And Xiao Yanhan had slept too early the night before. When she came back from class the next day, she found that Yu Linna was gone and looked for her everywhere.
“Stop looking. She’s gone.”
Lan Ranyan kindly reminded her.
“Gone? Did she go out for work again…”
Xiao Yanhan held the newly opened express package in her hand, feeling a little disappointed in her heart. For her, she had specially bought chocolate to give to her. How could she just leave like that? She still had a gift for her.
“Before Linna left, she said she wasn’t going for work. It was for personal reasons that she was going to Shenzhen.”
“Eh?”
Xiao Yanhan was stunned.
“Maybe she went to find her boyfriend.”
Lan Ranyan continued to add insult to injury.
She glanced at Xiao Yanhan, wanting to see what her reaction would be. Xiao Yanhan had a dazed expression on her face. The box in her hand was crushed by her squeeze, and the chocolate bars fell to the ground with a crisp sound, just like her heart had broken.
Why…
Xiao Yanhan inexplicably thought of Tang Yulong, who had a very good relationship with Yu Linna, Wenqing’s Bai Chen-sensei. Although she had long known they had some kind of relationship, she still didn’t want to accept this reality. Why? Shion-sensei was her idol, her person. Why should she be snatched away by someone else?
She is mine, all mine…
“Well, don’t be too pessimistic. She didn’t say she was going to find her boyfriend. Maybe she went to find someone else.”
Seeing her reaction was so big, Lan Ranyan didn’t have the heart to joke with her anymore and changed her words. Who knew that Xiao Yanhan would care to this extent? It seemed she really liked Yu Linna, liked her to this extent. If one day she found out that Yu Linna couldn’t like her, wouldn’t she be very sad?
Xiao Yanhan had no mood to eat at all. She had been thinking about this matter. She had even specially gone to see Bai Chen-sensei’s Weibo. It was only after seeing that he had updated his status and posted a few photos of his business trip in Sujing that she relaxed. It seemed it wasn’t him. But who on earth was Yu Linna going to see? Xiao Yanhan was very curious.
…
The date was in the coffee shop near her old high school. The price was cheap, and the decoration was very sentimental. Many couples liked to patronize this place, so business was naturally very good. And it was also a place where many boys and girls liked to go on dates. Huo Ningning’s purpose for inviting her here was obvious.
“Long time no see, Little Linna. Quick, sit. Order whatever you like. By the way, what are your plans for the summer vacation? Let’s go out and play together.”
As soon as Huo Ningning saw her, she was very excited. Her usual quiet, broody self had completely disappeared—she turned into a total chatterbox, talking nonstop. She had her sit down, and after she had finished ordering, she gave her the cake she had just ordered. She was very good to her.
“Did you call me out just to have a cup of coffee?”
Yu Linna was speechless. After her own coffee arrived, she silently added sugar to it and slowly tasted it.
“Yeah~ Little Linna, long time no see. I miss you so much. Do you want to stay at my house tonight? My mom also misses you a lot. By the way, by the way, let’s go on a trip, stay in the same room, and then at night… ahem, let’s go out for a walk at night. How about it?”
“I’m not going with you. Can you just give up?”
“Wuwu!”
In the end, why did she have to be liked by her?
She didn’t even know when this person had started to have those thoughts about her. It was all her fault for confessing so rashly. Now there were more and more women around her. And there was also a Xiao Yanhan to deal with. Thinking about it carefully, she really had a lot of people to reject.
But she and Huo Ningning had indeed known each other the longest. The two of them had met as children. She had almost entered the Huo family and become the Huo family’s adopted daughter. If it weren’t for that accident, maybe they could have been together forever.
She had also thought about whether to just settle, to be with Huo Ningning. Anyway, Huo Ningning also liked her, and being with her, she would also be good to her, and might even be willing to buy her a lot of food.
But she found that she couldn’t do it. To force herself to be with someone was always not going to work. She couldn’t do it.
She really couldn’t be with Huo Ningning with a clear conscience.
“Ningning, besides having a meal with you today, there’s one more thing I want to tell you.”
“Oh, what is it?”
“Eh… let’s drink coffee first. Let’s go for a walk, have a meal, and watch a movie later. I’ll tell you before we go back tonight.”
“…”
“What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m so moved, Little Linna. This is the first time you’ve ever asked me out so proactively.”
Huo Ningning’s eyes sparkled and her cheeks were flushed—she looked completely lovestruck.
Yu Linna immediately felt that her decision was a mistake. But she held back her anger. It’s fine, be calm, be calm.
After all, she had already prepared herself to reject her, although she had always been a coward in the past. But today, she had to answer her no matter what, otherwise it wouldn’t be good to keep her hanging.
She felt like she was about to become a scumbag girl.
Yu Linna really wanted to slap herself. When on earth did she attract so many women!
For the rest of the day’s itinerary, Yu Linna spent it exclusively with her: eating, shopping, watching movies, going to the arcade, and having a buffet barbecue. She gave almost all her time to her. Because she thought that the two of them hadn’t seen each other in so long, the last time being during the winter vacation, and they usually just chatted on their phones, Yu Linna had never helped her with anything.
Ever since they had restored their previously close relationship, Huo Ningning had loved to be with her, always liking to play with her.
To the point where Yu Linna didn’t know how to face this person. It was even more difficult for her to reject her.
“Hah, I’m full. It was delicious. Linna, your barbecue skills are really good. I’m very full.”
“It’s good that you’re satisfied.”
“By the way, are you sure you’re not coming to my house?”
“I’m not going. Give up.”
Yu Linna rejected her once again.
The streets at night were bustling with noise and excitement, brightly lit. The various shops were all open. It was a good time to go out on a date. Yu Linna looked at the street and casually glanced at the convenience store next to it. She still remembered that she had worked here during high school. At that time, she was poor and often looked for work outside. She had stayed at this convenience store for about three months, and then she was fired for not coming to work too often. Come to think of it, it was quite helpless.
“What are you looking at? Do you want to buy something?”
Huo Ningning asked, holding a roasted sausage.
“No, I was just looking at the place where I used to work.”
“There?”
“Mmm, right there. I used to work at that shop before. I could probably earn about seven hundred yuan a month. It was not bad, just enough to cover my rent and utility bills. And I could eat some of the snacks in the shop that were about to expire and couldn’t be sold. It was quite comfortable.”
Speaking of this, Yu Linna showed a smile. That time was really nostalgic. Before, she would still worry about money, and about food.
Her favorite place to work was a restaurant, because there would often be leftovers from customers, and she could eat those.
So nostalgic.
“You don’t need these now, do you? You can earn so much money, even more than my dad.”
“That’s true.”
“Little Linna, if that hadn’t happened, you probably wouldn’t have had such a miserable time.”
Speaking of this, Huo Ningning showed a guilty expression. This matter was her lifelong guilt. If she had been a little more rational at that time, a little more persuasive and a little less mischievous, Yu Linna wouldn’t have walked out of her house.
If only she were here, she could have taken care of her.
Yu Linna patted her head.
“Let’s just forget about the past. I don’t mind anymore. Besides, am I that petty?”
“Wuwuwu, Little Linna, you’re too nice. I want to marry you even more!”
“I should kick you.”
…
Walking on the road, the street was bustling with noise and excitement. Many children were running around in the nearby square with balloons, making their parents chase after them. In the square, there were also many aunties dancing. With the sound of old-fashioned music, their steps and movements reached their peak.
Yu Linna stood there, and a firework bloomed above her head. Immediately after, more and more fireworks scattered, filling the entire night sky.
“Ningning, I came out today to tell you something.”
She turned her head and said so. At this time, the fireworks bloomed, and the light shone on her face. The expression of having made up her mind made Huo Ningning stunned, and this expression was only for a moment. Then the light faded, and her expression was gone.
“What you told me before, do you still remember? You said you liked me. I’ve dragged you on for a long time. I’m sorry. I just wanted to answer you today.”
Huo Ningning bit her lower lip, but didn’t speak. Her tightly clasped hands slowly loosened. She adjusted her breathing and tried to calm herself.
“I see you as a good friend. I don’t want to hurt you, nor do I want you to have any psychological trauma. But more than that, I don’t want to deceive you. I can be your friend for a lifetime, but I’m afraid we can’t date. I’m sorry.”
The fireworks scattered, blooming above her head, shining on her.
Yu Linna was so nervous. It was the first time she had rejected someone’s confession. She never thought it would be so nerve-wracking. Although she was a coward, this time she had gone all out, hoping to properly convey her feelings.
She didn’t want to hurt her, but she didn’t want to deceive others even more. If she was afraid of hurting others and didn’t dare to move forward, that was just weakness, not kindness. If possible, she wanted Huo Ningning to give up decisively.
Huo Ningning smiled wryly, not saying anything, not wanting to say anything.
In the end, it was all for nothing… right?
After working so hard for so long, she could only get a “no.” Her heart was still very bitter.
She really, really liked her.
She really wanted to be with her.
Can’t we really be together…
“Ningning?”
“…I’m fine. Take me home.”
Huo Ningning said with a wry smile.
How could this be considered “fine”?
Usually, she would have shamelessly come up. This appearance today was not like her at all.
And she even asked her to take her back. She was clearly in a very low mood.
Yu Linna didn’t say anything, just got in the car with her and took her home. She thought this girl must be very sad, but she just didn’t want to show it in front of her. She decided to take her to her doorstep, lest she cry on the way.
The two of them didn’t speak on the way. Huo Ningning had reverted to her usual broody, repressed self—silent, not even looking at her phone. Yu Linna sat next to her, very awkwardly. A person who usually had so much to say had suddenly become like this. She was so unaccustomed to it.
After getting out of the car, Huo Ningning still didn’t speak. The two of them continued to be silent, neither planning to open their mouths.
Yu Linna couldn’t stand this atmosphere and was about to speak.
“Ningning, I…”
“I’m fine.”
Huo Ningning just said that.
How could she be fine like this?
But making this decision was also unavoidable. To reject someone, you just had to be decisive.
“Let’s just stop here. I’ll walk the rest of the way myself. You should probably go back too.”
When they reached the intersection, Huo Ningning stopped and said she didn’t need to be sent off. Just here was fine. From this intersection to her house would take at least ten minutes. Huo Ningning felt that these ten minutes would be enough for her to adjust her mood.
“Ningning, I’m sorry.”
“Although I had already thought that this might happen, I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. It’s fine. It was just my own wishful thinking. Compared to being forceful, I still hope you can be with me sincerely. But it’s not possible. It’s still too difficult.”
“Ningning…”
“Alright, I’m the one who was dumped. Don’t be like this. To be honest, I still don’t want to give up. If you can’t find someone you want to date one day, you can come back and find me. Little Linna, I like you. Thank you for being so mischievous with me.”
Huo Ningning gently left a kiss on Yu Linna’s face, then turned and left, entering the intersection. And so, they finally parted.
Yu Linna touched her cheek, her heart very complicated.
And Huo Ningning entered the intersection, slowly walking towards her home. How much time would it take to accept it? She didn’t know, but time could always wash everything away. Besides, she hadn’t given up, just changed her way of waiting.
She believed that Yu Linna would change her mind, right?
That’s right, it must be like this.
Right…
Hey, please, come after me, okay?
Don’t really go back…
Teardrops fell to the ground, drop by drop, forming a picture on the ground. But that girl didn’t chase after her. She didn’t come at all…
