Chapter 547: Yu Linna Never Believes in Happiness
Catherine had collapsed.
It was said to be because of a relapse of an old illness. According to the servants in the house, this illness of hers had always been there, for many years. She had to take medicine regularly every once in a while, especially recently, the number of times she had taken medicine had obviously increased. This illness of hers was just as she herself had said, a heart disease. To want to cure it was not that simple of a matter.
“Has the madam always been like this?”
Yu Linna watched as Catherine was supported back to her room, and was forced by the servants to lie down in bed to rest. She herself felt a little complicated watching. When she saw Catherine’s pale expression, her heart faintly ached. She didn’t want to see Catherine like this at all!
“Yes, for many years, ever since her daughter passed away.”
The old butler closed the door and sighed. He looked at Yu Linna’s small face. As a butler who had worked in this house for so many years, how could he not see how similar Yu Linna’s appearance was to Catherine’s? It was completely imaginable for Catherine to have such a reaction.
“Her daughter?”
“Yes, the madam has another daughter, but she passed away more than ten years ago. From then on, this has become her heart disease. For so many years, she has never let it go. Fortunately, the doctor has been giving her regular check-ups. Usually, it’s fine. It’s just that recently, she’s been having more frequent episodes.”
There was a deep regret in the old butler’s tone.
If that incident hadn’t happened back then, the madam would surely be the same as before, cheerful and optimistic, showing a smile every day. How could she be like now, her face full of sadness?
Yu Linna caressed the door of Catherine’s room and fell into deep thought. For some reason, she seemed to be able to understand this person’s thoughts. If it had been her, to have lost her most important family member, she might also have been unable to let it go for a lifetime. Although she had never had a family, she could understand this kind of feeling.
“Miss Yu, please don’t mind me calling you that. You look very much like the madam, or rather, very much like the madam’s daughter. The madam’s daughter, Yu Xiayue, you also know her. I have worked here for so many years, and I have watched her grow up. I really feel that you two look very similar.”
“Me?”
“Yes. I am not mistaken. You look very much like her, and at the same time, you also look very much like the madam.”
“No way. I don’t think we look alike at all.”
“Of course you would think so if you look at yourself. But in the eyes of others, it’s not like that. This photo is of the madam when she was still young. Take a look.”
The old butler took out a somewhat old, yellowed photo. Yu Linna took this photo. On the photo was a younger Catherine. She had a brilliant smile on her face, and her whole person gave the impression of being both sunny and cheerful, which was somewhat different from her current steady appearance. In her arms, she was holding a child, a very small child, probably not yet a year old. The little baby in her arms was sleeping peacefully in her arms, and Catherine was smiling very happily.
“This is her child?”
“Yes, this is the madam’s second daughter. Her English name is Ivana. The madam calls her Nana. Her Chinese name… is the same as yours.”
“Eh? Really?”
“I have been here for so many years. How can this be fake? When the madam saw you, and also thought of your name, she must have been moved by the scene. To be honest, if it weren’t for the fact that the second young miss had passed away early, I would surely have thought that the second young miss was you.”
Yu Linna looked at the little baby in the photo, the little baby who was sleeping so sweetly, and was fascinated. When she saw the smiling Catherine, her heart twinged.
There was no similar scene in her memory, but subconsciously, she always felt very familiar.
But…
She was also just an outsider.
“If you look carefully, they are still quite similar.”
Yu Linna said with a wry smile.
Yes, so similar.
“Looking at your face, I feel as if I am seeing the second young miss grown up. She was a very likable child. If she had grown up, she would probably be like you. For the madam to have broken down in tears on the spot, I can also understand, because I also feel a little like crying. Child, you really look too much like the madam. I say, are you the second young miss? Are you really still alive?”
The old butler looked at her face, sighed, and said these words. Yu Linna returned the photo to him and shook her head.
“I am not her.”
She said.
“The probability of this kind of thing happening to me is basically impossible, right? It’s not a story. Where would there be so many coincidences?”
Yu Linna would no longer believe these things.
Biological parents? This thing was too strange to her. In two lifetimes, she had never tasted the feeling of being loved by her parents. In this life, she had been through many ups and downs, and had walked too many paths. In this jianghu-like life, she no longer held any illusions about these things.
She had once set foot in the entertainment industry, fantasizing that she could find her family, but what she had gotten in return was one injury after another. And then, she had entered the novel circle, the film and television circle, and in the end, she had still gotten nothing, and had even been cheated out of her money by many people. From that time on, she had understood that it was impossible for Yu Linna to have these happiness. She had no right to enjoy these things. Ever since she had let go of those worldly things, she had found that she was living more freely, more freely. Perhaps she should not have thought of those things in the first place.
What Yu Linna wanted was a family, but she had never truly had one.
She would not think about it, nor could she think about it. She knew that that did not belong to her in the first place.
…
Yu Linna had been in this house for a while. She had gone to the courtyard for a walk. This place was quite strange to her, but she liked the scenery here. When she had stepped onto this lawn, her whole person had felt relaxed.
She had originally wanted to say her goodbyes and leave, but Yu Xiayue, after hearing that her own mother had fallen ill, had immediately rushed back. After a brief greeting with Yu Linna, she had gone to her room to visit her own mother. After hearing that she was fine, only then did she feel relieved. And then she had found Yu Linna. Yu Linna was in the courtyard alone, playing with the dog. The dog in the house was very close to her, and did not resist her petting its head, or shaking hands at all, even though this dog would only be close to people who had played with it for a long time.
“Nana.”
“Sister Yue. How is the madam?”
“She’s fine. She’s just tired.”
“That’s good. I see that it’s about time. I should be going back too.”
Yu Linna patted this dog’s head, stood up, and said that she should also be leaving. Yu Xiayue grabbed her hand.
“Um… don’t be angry if I say this… Grandpa Butler said that you and Mom look very similar. What do you think?”
“What else can I think?”
Yu Linna said with a wry smile.
She looked up and looked at her eyes.
“I am not her. I cannot replace her. Isn’t this common sense?”
Although that’s what she said, that’s right…
Yu Xiayue’s biological younger sister had died a long time ago. She knew this. She had always known this. But why was that… looking at this face, she could not say that her younger sister was already dead no matter what. Because… they really looked too similar.
She clearly knew that the real Yu Linna, the younger sister who belonged to her, was already dead. She clearly knew…
But seeing Yu Linna in front of her, she seemed to not think so.
Because Grandpa Butler had told her a lot, which had made Yu Xiayue also start to waver.
“I’m going back. It’s getting late.”
“I’ll see you off…”
“Okay.”
The two of them did not say anything.
Yu Xiayue also did not know what kind of mood she was holding in her heart. On the contrary, Yu Linna’s face was always written with calmness, no different from usual. Although the two of them were very familiar, Yu Xiayue seemed to have never really understood her. She only knew that she had become a person since she was very young, and had never asked her about her thoughts. Because Yu Xiayue felt that it would reveal her scars.
But now…
“Nana, do you really have no impression of your childhood?”
“What?”
“I mean, do you still remember what happened when you were about two or three years old?”
Yu Linna lowered her head and thought for a long time. The two of them were walking on the road, one big and one small, just like sisters.
“From the time I have memories, I have been living in a small basement, with a group of children of the same age as me. Every day, we would blacken our faces, wear ragged clothes, and run to the streets to beg. Because I looked too special, those adults would always have me wear a hat and sunglasses when I went out. When I was lucky, I could beg for more money and get beaten less. Sometimes, if people were in a good mood, they might even give you a small cookie to eat.”
This story, she rarely mentioned to others, because it was all a long time ago. These experiences, she had only told Ye Zhiyun. Besides that, there was no one else.
Yu Xiayue was a little shocked.
“You, were you abducted and sold?”
It seemed to be the first time she had heard Yu Linna’s childhood story. That’s right. After all, Yu Linna had not told her.
“Yes, I was abducted and sold when I was very young. I don’t even know where I came from. I was walking around everywhere when I was very young, with big trucks, big vans, in the trunk, and had even stayed in a refrigerated compartment. They had originally planned to sell me to someone, but no one wanted me. I went to the streets to beg, and not many people could give me money, because my appearance was too conspicuous. They later planned to sell my eyes and some of my organs, but I was not willing. I had been resisting all along. They had taken a stick, a very big, thick stick, and had beaten me, wanting to drag me out. I had just been crying and crying. Later, the police had come, had taken those bad people away, and had also taken me away. And after that, I was sent to an orphanage.”
That was truly an unbearable past.
That was the saddest experience in her memory, and also the closest she had ever been to death. To be honest, if the police had not intervened, she might have died at that time. Later, after leaving that damned place, she had gone to an orphanage, and had also gone to many foster homes, had transferred schools every year, and had been walking around everywhere, until in the end she had gone to Guangnan City. When she had gotten there, only then had she truly had a place to stay, and had treated that place as her own home.
“Nana…”
Yu Xiayue wanted to cry when she heard this.
She had never known that Yu Linna’s past was so miserable. She had not gone to understand it. Just hearing her say it made her heart ache. Those human traffickers were really not human!
Yu Linna was really very strong. To have such an experience and still be able to live on strongly, and to still be able to show a smile, to show a smile. The world had shown her the greatest malice, but she had never hated this world.
“What’s there to cry about? It’s all in the past.”
Yu Linna turned her head back and said with a faint smile. To her, that was really a thing of the past. Although she really hated those who had abducted her, what could hate do? It couldn’t change anything. In the end, life was still the same.
“But, but… aren’t you sad at all?”
“I am. Of course I am.”
“Then why can you still smile?”
“Why can’t I smile? If I always have a crying face, I can’t live a good life. I want to live on. I want to live my life properly. To be honest, my hands and feet are sound. I won’t even be able to solve the problem of food and clothing now. I still have friends, my best companions. I also have a job I never thought I would have before. Compared to before, am I not happy enough?”
Yu Linna said.
They returned to the hotel. Yu Linna said that there was no need to see her up. Yu Xiayue just stayed downstairs at the hotel and watched for a long time, but in the end, she did not go up.
The first time she had seen Yu Linna, she had felt that this girl was very likable, and also very easy to get close to. It was clearly their first time meeting, but she had felt very familiar.
But recently, the more she had seen Yu Linna, the more she had felt that she was very much like the deceased younger sister in her memory…
Or rather, her younger sister, had she really died? It was the first time Yu Xiayue had had such a question.
That one notice back then, and also the amulet, hairpin, and other personal belongings that had been returned, had made Catherine collapse on the spot. What had followed was also the wailing in the house. That year was the most painful year for the Yu family.
But Yu Xiayue had begun to doubt if those things were real.
…
Yu Linna returned to her hotel room. She rummaged through her boxes and found the exercise book she had hidden inside. On the cover of this exercise book were written the three crooked characters “Yu Linna.” She smiled after she had seen it. Speaking of which, the reason she had this name back then was also because of this exercise book. The police had asked her, “Is this your name? Is your name Yu Linna?” She had said that she couldn’t read, but the police had still taken this as her name.
This was the only thing she could use to prove her identity.
Although she had also forgotten how this thing had come to be.
At this time, a phone call came in.
“Hello, I’m Linna.”
“Good evening, Linna. The crew is wrapping up tomorrow. Are you happy?”
“Are you calling so late at night just to say this? Alright, I know.”
Yu Linna hung up the phone, packed her own bag, and put the script and some books into the bag. Then she also put this exercise book in. She threw the bag on the table, preparing to take it to the crew again tomorrow. After doing all this, only then did she start to prepare to take a shower and go to bed.
