Chapter 49: They Would Still Be Just the Right Amount of Childish Part 1

The crowd moved in waves. The sound of car horns was a bit more frequent during the off-work hours. Yu Qinjiu pressed the strawberry lollipop between her lips, staring blankly at Ji Qingyou.

She suspected her mind was playing tricks on her, twisting Qingyou’s words.

Maybe what Qingyou wanted wasn’t “Can I hold your hand?” but “Can I have your candy?” or “Can you help me walk?”

Something like that. Something more fitting for Qingyou to say.

But when she met Qingyou’s eyes, soaked in the sunset, that gaze, which held her, enveloped her, was clearly making a request:

May I hold your hand?

The lollipop in her mouth continued to release the sweet, moist strawberry flavor. Yu Qinjiu stood rooted to the spot. After a long moment, when she discerned a sincere intention from Qingyou’s expression, another strange thought popped into her head.

Why did someone have to be so polite when doing something like this?

First explaining why she was late, then emphasizing that she was a weak patient, and finally wiping her hands clean repeatedly, using all her thought. And then asking: If I held your hand, would it cause you any trouble?

Perhaps it was because many strange thoughts were popping into her head at this moment, making her delayed reaction last for a long time.

Qingyou’s gaze on her began to drop. Her eyelashes drooped slightly, catching the full sunset. Her hanging fingers slowly curled back. She turned. She moved her throat, then rephrased. “I—”

She only said one word.

A cool touch came to her fingers. They were gently wrapped by soft, light fingers. The hold was very careful.

She froze. She looked up at Qinjiu, who had stepped closer.

“What’s wrong?” The car horns rose and fell. The warm yellow sunset swayed. Qinjiu’s eyes curved in a smile at her. Her voice was gentle and light. “Is my hand too cold?”

As she spoke, the fingers wrapped around her moved slightly.

There was a hint of an attempt to let go.

Qingyou tightened her grip on the fingers that were trying to loosen. Her gaze landed on the female statue in profile. She actually raised the corner of her mouth and said, “It’s not cold.”

Even if it were colder than this statue, she would probably say it wasn’t cold.

“That’s good.” Qinjiu’s voice was slow and light. Her breath carried the sweet, moist strawberry scent. “I was outside for a while. I didn’t have time to warm my hands up.”

She explained. Then she hooked Qingyou’s fingers tighter. A smile was mixed into her voice, carried by the wind. “But even if they’re cold, you might have to hold them anyway.”

“After all, you’re too tired to walk, aren’t you?” She asked, a little deliberately.

Ji Qingyou didn’t deny it. She just hummed in acknowledgment. Her holding hand hooked the fingers tightly, carefully wrapping them in her palm. She asked cautiously, “Does holding your hand like this cause you any trouble?”

When it came to everything she liked, she was always especially careful.

Perhaps this was a consequence of that lesson taught by her cruel and strange father.

Instead of trying to control everything within her power, even if it meant hurting the other.

She was exceptionally careful and cautious.

And among everything she liked, the one she treated with the most caution, the most delicacy, was Yu Qinjiu.

Even now, she didn’t know what exactly she had owned in her thirty years of life. It was indeed hard to define. Because people often only feel a sense of possession when they lose it, not when they have it.

But Qinjiu was special. Special enough to make Qingyou feel the “possession” even as she was possessing her.

Like now, in the afterglow of the sunset, in the crowded sea of people, amidst the honking traffic, holding Qinjiu’s hand, slowly and slowly walking forward side-by-side, gently and slowly wasting time. This had already been stamped by her as:

An extremely precious miracle in her long life.

Yu Qinjiu didn’t answer her question immediately.

Qingyou pressed her lips together, gently loosening her fingers. But the next second, they were held tighter. Slender fingers slid directly between her fingers. In a ten-finger interlock, they broke the limit she had set for this action.

For a second.

She felt she had really become a robot. All the gears in her head were injected with a glue called “Yu Qinjiu.” And in the next second, they were injected with a lubricant called “Yu Qinjiu.”

Ji Qingyou stopped walking. She looked at Qinjiu, a little stunned.

“What’s wrong?” Qinjiu looked at her, her eyes curved into crescents. She had an expression that clearly said, “I know exactly what I’m doing, but I’m pretending not to.”

Ji Qingyou lowered her eyelashes slightly. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh—” Qinjiu drew out the light, slow sound. Still holding hands, she put them both into her own coat pocket.

“Ji Qingyou.” She called her name. She warmed her hands for a while. She walked slowly for a few steps. Then she suddenly asked, “Usually, if there’s no reaction, it’s considered consent, right?”

When Qinjiu asked this question, Qingyou could feel her hand, which was being held, being gently squeezed. The gesture was warm.

She thought for a moment and answered very cautiously. “But for me, if I don’t get a clear signal, I can’t treat it as consent.”

A very serious answer. In return, she got Qinjiu stopping her finger-squeezing.

Their pace slowed down. Qinjiu’s chin retracted into her scarf. She looked up at Qingyou. Biting the stick of the lollipop, she scrunched her nose adorably. “You really are a bit like a robot.”

“Yeah, it seems so.” Ji Qingyou didn’t deny it. Amidst the bustling crowd, she looked at Qinjiu and asked softly, “Then why don’t you just give me the signal?”

As she spoke, they walked through the crowd. The sunbeams swayed. Cherry blossoms fell. Someone who recognized Qingyou as the female doctor who was “almost slashed in the throat” yesterday passed by, their gaze filled with surprise, muttering, “Wasn’t she slashed in the throat?” Someone who recognized Qinjiu as the woman who was “mistaken for a mental patient outside the operating room” yesterday also passed by, their gaze equally surprised. Some even mistook her for the schizophrenic patient who did the slashing. Some were trying to guess their relationship. Some stared at them strangely. Some were kindly preparing to subdue the potentially “ill” Qinjiu.

In this environment, amidst these sounds.

Yu Qinjiu looked straight into Qingyou’s eyes. She wasn’t afraid at all. She gently lifted the curve of her lips. Her whole body seemed to be wrapped in a sweet strawberry flavor.

Even the Qingyou in front of her had turned into the taste of strawberry.

The warm spring sun swayed with the dance of the cherry blossoms. Yu Qinjiu gave her answer. Her voice seemed to be crushed into the wind. “Okay. I will give you the signal.”

–

A walk that should have taken only five minutes from the entrance of the inpatient building took them fifteen, thanks to Qinjiu holding Qingyou’s hand.

But just as they reached the bustling door of the inpatient building.

Ji Qingyou stopped again. She pressed her lips together. She didn’t let go of Qinjiu’s hand.

“Let’s walk a little more.” She made a not very convincing request. Then she added, “I want to buy some strawberry-flavored Alps lollipops. To stock up.”

“What did the doctor say?” Qinjiu asked her.

Qingyou thought for a moment. “The doctor said a little activity is good for the wound to heal.”

Qinjiu squinted. “Did the doctor really say that?”

Ji Qingyou lowered her eyes slightly. “They did.”

After all, she was a doctor herself.

“Fine.” Qinjiu agreed to her proposal. Holding her hand, she slowly led her towards the courtyard. After walking slowly for a while, she glanced at her again and said lightly, “Liar.”

Ji Qingyou couldn’t deny it. She could only maintain her right to silence.

Qinjiu added, “Ji Qingyou, you’re really bad at lying.”

Ji Qingyou didn’t deny it. “I guess so.”

“But it can’t be helped…” Qinjiu said softly. Then she laughed, holding her hand tighter. They remained close in the flow of people walking the opposite direction. “After all, I suddenly wanted another strawberry lollipop too.”

She said strawberry lollipop.

But when Qingyou saw the smile lifting the corners of Qinjiu’s mouth, she sensed that this was probably the ‘signal’ she had mentioned earlier.

As they walked from the inpatient building towards the supermarket in the courtyard, the setting sun was perfect, enveloping the entire hospital. On Qingyou’s neck was a wound deep enough to nearly touch her trachea. On Qinjiu’s neck, perhaps, still lingered a butterfly that refused to leave.

But under the slowly setting sun, they held hands. They supported each other as they went to buy strawberry-flavored Alps lollipops.

They didn’t mention the injury Qingyou had suffered yesterday. They didn’t mention Qinjiu’s illness again. Or her future plans. Or what happened after holding hands.

Just, without any plan, like the Qinjiu and Qingyou from before, who had always walked side-by-side, they took one step at a time towards the most ordinary of destinations. They did the most ordinary thing together.

Holding hands and going to the supermarket to buy strawberry Alps.

It might be a bit childish for two five-year-olds.

But for Qinjiu and Qingyou, the feeling was incredibly wonderful. They could sense a hard-won contentment from this extremely small thing.

Just being able to spend a day like this was the greatest extravagance Qingyou had imagined in the ten years she had lived through.

So she bought every strawberry-flavored Alps lollipop in the supermarket. After paying, she got a look of deep envy from a nearby child.

The child looked very cute.

Under the gaze of the child’s parent nearby, Qingyou hesitated and took out two lollipops. But before handing them to the child, she politely asked Qinjiu, “Can I give two lollipops to this child?”

“Sure.” Qinjiu gave a light answer. After the child politely said “Thank you,” she bent down and smiled, gently patting their head.

Then she asked Qingyou, “Why did you ask for my permission to give them away?”

Qingyou thought for a few seconds and gave her answer. “Because I bought all these candies for you. If I need to give them to someone else, I feel I should get your consent.”

Yu Qinjiu was stunned.

Ji Qingyou paused for a few seconds, then added very cautiously, “Especially since it’s two, not one.”

Her meaning was: I said I would give them to you, so I will give them to you. Giving away the candies I gave you to another child doesn’t seem quite right.

Because I only wanted to give them to you.

Because you are the person I cherish the most.

Even in front of a child who looks only five or six years old, you will defeat anyone else in this world. You will become my first choice.