Chapter 51 Part 1

◎“It felt like she… kissed me.”◎

Outside the ward, people were bustling about, everyone in a hurry. But Ji Qingyou and Yu Qinjiu were isolated in the midst of the crowd, in their own silence.

Ji Qingyou held Yu Qinjiu’s hand and felt it was really cold. In this warm spring sun, it felt like a piece of iron left out in the freezing cold for days. It was even trembling uncontrollably.

Even though Yu Qinjiu had been smiling just now, her gaze had been fixed around Ji Qingyou, sometimes settling on the white walls or the clean floor. She wasn’t as relaxed as she pretended to be.

After Ji Qingyou held her hand, her tense shoulders relaxed for a moment, but her expression still seemed a bit dazed. Although her gaze was still soft when she looked at Ji Qingyou, when it fell on the floor, there was a momentary helplessness, like her consciousness had drifted away.

“Your hands are so cold. Are you cold anywhere else?” Ji Qingyou followed Yu Qinjiu’s gaze towards the ward and noticed that the places Yu Qinjiu’s eyes lingered were the floor and the wall in front of Qi Xiaomi’s room.

Yu Qinjiu had been here.

On the day of Ji Qingyou’s accident.

Even though the area was now clean, all traces of blood and chaos gone, it didn’t stop Yu Qinjiu from unavoidably recalling that brutal scene when she came here again.

But before Ji Qingyou came out.

She still stood here, without her scarf, standing completely in the sunlight. No one knew how much effort it took for her to control herself, to stand here properly, and wait patiently for Ji Qingyou to finish talking to others in that ward.

She was relieved, relieved that Ji Qingyou hadn’t been traumatized by this incident.

But no one knew her hands and feet were ice-cold. No one knew she was leaning against the wall because when she came here and saw the clean floor, the white walls, and the faces of dozens of familiar-looking people, which had changed from panic to calm…

It was as if all her thoughts had been drained away.

She couldn’t control herself from comparing the scene before her to the one she had seen before, and she could no longer stand on her own strength.

While Yu Qinjiu’s gaze was still wandering in this malicious scene, Ji Qingyou stepped forward. She didn’t completely block Yu Qinjiu’s view, but instead held her hand tighter, stood side-by-side with her in this scene, transferred the warmth from her own hand, and looked at her quietly.

What Yu Qinjiu needed at this moment was not escape.

But clear awareness.

Awareness that Ji Qingyou was standing right in front of her, alive, holding her hand, melting her ice-cold body temperature.

For a while, as Yu Qinjiu struggled to detach from that scene constructed by broken memories, Ji Qingyou was still looking at her intently.

Even though people kept passing by, greeting her, and making “interesting” faces when they saw their intertwined hands.

She didn’t let go of her hand. Instead, she asked,

“Do you want a hug?”

Yu Qinjiu’s reaction was a bit slow. She instinctively said “yes,” but then asked belatedly, “Right here?”

Ji Qingyou received the signal.

Before Yu Qinjiu could finish saying, “So many of your colleagues are watching,” amidst the overflowing sunset, in the bustling crowd, she reached out and wrapped her arms around Yu Qinjiu’s fragile, slender shoulders and back.

Holding her Yu Qinjiu, she patted her back very, very softly, and said,

“Yes. Right here.”

As if she hadn’t reacted, Yu Qinjiu’s fingers were still lightly tugging at her clothes, frozen in her embrace, her breathing soft and quiet.

Ji Qingyou realized that Yu Qinjiu was cold all over. But the touch she conveyed was soft, as if hugging a piece of soft ice in the deep sea.

Although it was bone-chillingly cold, it was trying its best to bring her out of the deep sea.

“You can also cancel the signal,” Ji Qingyou said, handing all the signal command procedures over to Yu Qinjiu as she came to her senses. “Whenever you want, you can.”

In a way, she was like an AI willingly being tamed, letting her closest master set the rhythm of advance and retreat.

As long as the master didn’t give the order, she wouldn’t act rashly.

For a long time.

Yu Qinjiu didn’t cancel the signal as she had expected. She was quiet for only a dozen seconds, then slowly loosened her fingers that were pinching the hem of Ji Qingyou’s clothes, gently wrapped her arms around her waist, and buried her sad breath into the curve of her neck, like a little cat without a sense of security licking its wounds.

This action brought them closer in the embrace.

So close that the setting sun seemed to form a cocoon of light around them, isolating them from the world.

Breaths merged, and strength seeped through the embrace.

Ji Qingyou felt Yu Qinjiu hug her with great force, and could also feel Yu Qinjiu trying hard to transfer the warmth from her own body to her.

She held Yu Qinjiu tighter, and repeated that sentence,

“I’m here, Yu Qinjiu.”

“I know,” Yu Qinjiu replied. Her arms around her waist began to tighten slowly, with some force.

As if falling from an endless height into icy seawater, after an exhausting fight and struggle, finally finding that piece of driftwood in the deep sea.

Her whole body became weak, and she had to rest all her weight on that piece of driftwood.

This embrace lasted a long time.

Until.

The hazy golden light spreading from the ward door swayed in Yu Qinjiu’s eyes. The surrounding environment began to return to silence from the noise, and her thoughts returned to reality from the daze. She felt the warmth of Ji Qingyou’s embrace, and her icy body finally began to warm up.

Yu Qinjiu opened her mouth, wanting to say something, trying to bring her numb body back to this flowing world.

But before she could think of a way to break the stillness.

Ji Qingyou guided her back to reality first. “This is the first time I’ve seen you in green clothes.”

Yu Qinjiu was stunned.

“Actually, I know nothing about colors, and I have no patience for these trivial details. So when I buy clothes, I always choose the simplest black and white. I usually only wear my white coat anyway. The green one I’m wearing today is probably my most colorful piece of clothing.”

The bright yellow setting sun enveloped Ji Qingyou. From Yu Qinjiu’s angle, she could see the fine, golden hairs on the back of her head, and her ears, which were flushed red.

Ji Qingyou seemed not very good at saying this kind of thing, her tone a bit hesitant. But she continued talking, bit by bit.

“But you always wear a lot of colorful clothes, so when I was choosing a scarf for you, I spent a lot of time on it because I’m not good at color coordination. I consulted quite a few people, like Ji Xiruan and my sister, but they didn’t give me very good advice. So my knowledge of color coordination is still quite shallow.”

Her words were a bit scattered.

No point, no theme.

Probably realizing she had made a mess of what she was trying to say, Ji Qingyou pursed her lips helplessly.

“I don’t often compliment people proactively, so maybe I laid the groundwork too much…”

Before Ji Qingyou could finish, Yu Qinjiu hugged her tighter, tilted her head up slightly, and her voice drifted softly into this spring day, “You look very pretty in green too.”

Before Ji Qingyou could say the real “key sentence.”

Yu Qinjiu gave her response first.

Ji Qingyou was stunned for a few seconds, then gently raised the corner of her mouth. “Hmm. Seems like my main point didn’t go astray. You still caught it.”

Yu Qinjiu moved her fingers, holding her a little tighter.

“You look very pretty in green.” Even though Yu Qinjiu had already responded, Ji Qingyou still finished her sentence. The shadows stretched long, and their shadows were inseparable.

She looked at their elongated shadows, and her voice softened,

“I think I like green even more now.”

—

When Ji Qingyou, wearing her favorite green, went with Yu Qinjiu to pick up the little black cat, she was even a bit nervous.

Because before this.

It was hard for her to imagine that she would own a cat again, and share this little black cat with Yu Qinjiu.

This made her a bit awkward in front of the cat’s previous owner, as she was never very good at emotional exchanges with strangers or strange cats.

Fortunately, Yu Qinjiu was much better at this than she was.

Not only did she take the little coal ball from the owner with a smile, but she also quickly established some kind of friendly emotional connection with the little black cat.

The owner was a young woman around their age, with a bunch of little coal balls at home that, to Ji Qingyou, all looked identical. But this owner, who was good with animals, could tell them all apart. Chewing gum, she brought out the little black cat they had picked out through video.

“Here you go!” the owner said, blowing a gum bubble.

Ji Qingyou pursed her lips, unsure where to start. The little black cat in front of her looked very fragile, and it was hard to tell how much force to use to make the kitten comfortable.

She fumbled.

But someone was there to watch over her fumbling, like a guardian angel entering her dangerous world. Yu Qinjiu easily held the little black cat in her arms, as if she were its destined owner.

Pop! The bubble the owner blew burst. She looked at Ji Qingyou, then at Yu Qinjiu, then at the little green scarf in Ji Qingyou’s hand. Her gaze was sharp.

“You both really like green?”

Yu Qinjiu played with the kitten, her eyes curving into a smile. “We dressed up on purpose for today, to pick her up.”

The owner understood and commented on their ritualistic behavior. “Ooh, very ceremonial. A family should be complete and in sync.”

To others, it was such a small thing.

But they valued it so much it became a huge ritual.

Because life had too much suffering, because trauma was dense, even the slightest bit of sweetness would be magnified infinitely, becoming the most precious fragment in memory.

On the way back.

Yu Qinjiu drove the cute dark green Beetle, her gaze frequently drifting to the passenger seat.

From the moment they picked up the kitten.

She hadn’t held the little black cat yet.

“You haven’t told me the little black cat’s name yet,” Ji Qingyou couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, right?” Yu Qinjiu lowered her head and held the kitten’s paw, her eyes curving into crescent moons. “Her name is Heihei.”

Heihei.

Ji Qingyou repeated it in her heart. “Does it have any special meaning?”

Yu Qinjiu finally looked at her. “Isn’t the meaning obvious?”

Ji Qingyou was stunned for a few seconds, not understanding. “Because she’s very dark?”

Yu Qinjiu looked a bit confused. She looked at the little black cat on her lap, then helplessly held the kitten’s head, looking at Ji Qingyou together, their eyes very innocent. “How can you say that about her?”

“She’ll be sad.”

But she is a little black cat.

Ji Qingyou thought this, but couldn’t bear to say it.

Yu Qinjiu clearly saw the meaning in her expression. She covered the little black cat’s eyes and coaxed it softly, “Don’t look, don’t look, don’t listen, don’t listen. Our Heihei isn’t black at all!”

Her tone was cute, as if after being comforted by her, the pure black cat seemed less black.

After coaxing the little black cat, Yu Qinjiu tilted her head to look at Ji Qingyou. “Try calling her name.”

Ji Qingyou’s gaze fell on the little black cat, which was a bit lively on Yu Qinjiu’s lap. She met the cat’s innocent eyes for a few seconds. Ji Qingyou tried to call the kitten’s name,

“Heihei…”

As soon as she said it, she was stunned. She met Yu Qinjiu’s gaze and understood the meaning of the name “Heihei.”

When she called “Heihei,” the corners of her mouth naturally lifted.