Chapter 20: Meeting Her Birth Mother!

Enduring searing pain, Yan Zhi’an swung onto her horse and gathered the reins. “Back to the residence first.”

When she returned to the estate, several more letters from the capital were waiting, all of them mentioning the daughter of Emperor Ming.

Yan Zhi’an’s heart sank halfway to ice. Pulling herself together, she read the letters again and again—no fewer than five times—until she finally confirmed one thing: the Female Emperor had welcomed back her own daughter.

That was the only thing that was certain!

Suppressing the urge to tear the letters to shreds, Yan Zhi’an set them back on the table. Her whole body trembled, but trembling changed nothing.

“Mother.” Outside, Xunqi poked her head in, revealing a fair little face. She peered at her mother. “The physician is here.”

Yan Zhi’an had shut herself in her room. The maidservants dared not enter, so they could only ask the Young Mistress to go and see to her.

That little face, so close before her, made Yan Zhi’an’s whole body prickle with dread. What if the Female Emperor had found the wrong person—and was now setting things right?

She began to panic.

Yan Zhi’an forced herself to sit up straight, ignoring Xunqi’s words. In fact, every extra glance at Xunqi sent another jolt of alarm through her.

“Mother…” Xunqi summoned her courage and called out again.

Aversion began to rise in Yan Zhi’an. The pain in her ankle could not suppress the turmoil in her heart. She had spent months engineering Xunqi’s rise to fame. Now the Female Emperor had recognized a daughter anew.

She had no standing to question the Female Emperor’s decision, nor the power to declare her wrong. She could only swallow this bitter loss in silence.

She was now trapped in a cage she could not escape on her own. Could she tell the Yan family that Xunqi was not her child?

Even if she did, after so much back-and-forth, how many people in the world would believe her?

Thinking solved nothing. Yan Zhi’an smiled bleakly. She had destroyed the Yan family. Destroyed herself.

“Mother, does your foot still hurt?” Xunqi crept in on light feet, her voice trailing off nervously. She looked over—her mother’s face was pale, as though she were in terrible pain.

Xunqi plucked up her courage and moved closer. But the moment she drew near, Yan Zhi’an straightened, staring at her with an icy, piercing gaze.

In an instant, Xunqi was afraid. She froze in place, at a loss, as if something were lodged in her throat.

Then she looked at that pale face, and her earlier helplessness vanished. “I’ll rub it for you. Send the physician back for now.”

“Xunqi.” Yan Zhi’an’s voice was frigid. Xunqi looked up, startled. “Then—then should I let the physician in?”

The child is innocent. The phrase surfaced in Yan Zhi’an’s mind. Her plight had not been caused by Xunqi, nor had Xunqi forced her to claim a daughter.

If not Xunqi, it would have been someone else.

At a loss, Yan Zhi’an pressed her hand to her forehead. The pain in her ankle suddenly flared, making her brow furrow. “Go down for now. I want some quiet.”

“Oh. Then I won’t talk. I’ll just look at your foot and leave.” Xunqi gave a shameless little smile. She didn’t understand what weighed on her mother—all she could do was try to make her feel better.

Yan Zhi’an neither answered nor refused. Taking that as consent, Xunqi hurried back out, took the hot water a maidservant handed her, and fetched the medicinal oil for bruises and sprains from the physician.

Watching her bustle about, Yan Zhi’an opened her eyes and looked at her. “Xunqi, that assassination today—it was aimed at me. There will be more. Are you afraid?”

“Afraid of what?” Xunqi scoffed. “The Madwoman said: to stand in this world, if you have the skill, defy heaven and go your own way. If you lack it, obediently follow heaven’s arrangements. You’re the skilled sort, so naturally you defy heaven. If you don’t fear heaven, why fear people?”

Even as she spoke, she was pulling off Yan Zhi’an’s shoes and socks, studying the swollen ankle with the gravity of an old pedant. “You really can endure pain. That year the Madwoman got into a fight and twisted her ankle too—she screamed so loud everyone at the foot of the mountain heard her.”

Yan Zhi’an listened in silence, and the panic in her heart slowly settled. She could not bring herself to hate Xunqi.

But the position of Young Mistress of the Yan family could no longer be given to her.

In the span of a few breaths, Yan Zhi’an ran the whole matter through her mind again and arrived at a better arrangement. She needed to return to the capital and ask Her Majesty directly. If the princess truly was fake, she would keep Xunqi in the capital and not bring her into the Yan family.

Very well. That was how it would be.

“Hiss…” Yan Zhi’an felt the pain in her ankle become too much to bear. “Xunqi, what are you doing?”

“Rubbing it…”

“Stop rubbing. It hurts.”

Xunqi ignored her and kept applying the medicinal oil. “If you keep crying out, they’ll all hear you.”

Yan Zhi’an’s vision went black from the pain, but she had no way to deal with the girl, so she could only grit her teeth and bear it.

“Xunqi, do you know? Once you’re back in the capital, you’ll practice calligraphy every day. No slacking.”

“Xunqi, I’ll find you an excellent master to watch over you every day.”

“Xunqi, you’ll get your retribution.”

Xunqi looked at her blankly. “What retribution will I get?”

Her tone was utterly innocent. The corners of Yan Zhi’an’s lips loosened. Fishing one pleasant thought out of the tangle in her head, she gave the girl a lazy glance. “Practice every day. One mistake, one strike of the ruler.”

Watching her mother’s proud bearing, Xunqi couldn’t help laughing. She really was quite amusing.

The next moment, Yan Zhi’an ordered her, “We leave tomorrow. Go arrange the itinerary.”

“Alright.” Xunqi quickly brightened again. Grinning, she leaned toward Yan Zhi’an. “You know, you’re actually a fun person.”

“Hm?” Yan Zhi’an thought, this little thing is teasing me. Displeased, she was about to say something, but the little thing had already darted off. “I’m going to find Seventeenth Miss!”

Yan Zhi’an smiled.

She smiled in spite of herself. In that instant, her heart shifted once more. So what if it had been a mistake? Xunqi was alone in the world. She would keep her, raise her by her side, and teach her well—just as if she were taking on a student.

She watched the direction Xunqi had vanished, lifted her composed, delicate face, and a bright light gradually welled up in her eyes, nearly driving the shadows from the room.

Unwilling to accept it, Xunqi went to Seventeenth Miss to demand the money back. Seventeenth Miss refused to return it. “Your mother gave it to me.”

“I earned that money. She had no right to distribute it.”

“Well… we’ve already split it all.” Seventeenth Miss sighed. “I only got two hundred taels. Do you want it?”

Xunqi stamped her foot in fury, shooting her a glare. “I’m leaving tomorrow! You—you—you’re driving me mad.”

“Leaving tomorrow? Weren’t you going to visit the Academy Head first?” Seventeenth Miss was astonished. “Why the sudden departure?”

“It’s not up to me. My mother says we’re going. Forget it—I’ll go plan the route.” Xunqi knew the money was gone for good. She couldn’t very well take all of Seventeenth Aunt’s two hundred taels, and even taking all of it wouldn’t cover her loss.

Seventeenth Miss snickered. “Then I’ll come see you off.”

“Suit yourself.” Xunqi was in a thoroughly bad mood. She’d bustled about all day and not earned a single coin.

She went back to Yan Zhi’an. “How could you go around distributing my money?”

Yan Zhi’an couldn’t bear to look at her. “Shall I pay you back ten thousand taels?”

“I don’t want that. I just want my five hundred.” Xunqi was dissatisfied. “Don’t you respect me?”

Yan Zhi’an burst out laughing. “Go practice your calligraphy. If it’s poor, I’ll strike your palm.”

“You’re unreasonable.” Xunqi was stunned. “You can’t win the argument, so you start bullying me.”

“If I go to the trouble of bullying you, that’s your good fortune. There are so many people under heaven—why would I single you out? Consider it a blessing.” Yan Zhi’an was in a fairly good mood. Watching the girl deflate made her feel much better.

Xunqi stared at her with big, glossy dark eyes, grinding her teeth. “Next time, you’re not allowed to touch my money.”

“Understood.” Yan Zhi’an found it delightful. What a money-guarding little creature.

Only then did Xunqi go practice calligraphy.

Perhaps because she was no longer under the old restraints, Yan Zhi’an treated her with a bit more strictness. Looking at the handwriting that refused to improve no matter how often it was corrected, she cheerfully rewarded the girl with two sharp strikes across the palm. “You’ll remember next time,” she said merrily.

Xunqi looked at her reddened palm. “Return my money.”

“I’ll give you five thousand taels. Will you take it?” Yan Zhi’an held the discipline ruler and raised an eyebrow. “Little Coward, do you dare?”

“I just want my five hundred.” Xunqi was so furious she nearly toppled over backward.

Yan Zhi’an shook her head. “No five hundred. Only five thousand.”

Xunqi stormed off in a huff.

The next day, Yan Zhi’an led her daughter back to the capital. After bidding farewell to Grandfather, the party set out on the road home.

Seventeenth Miss saw them to the city gate, reluctant to part, saying goodbye with lingering reluctance.

And beyond the Shili Pavilion, Yuan Fusheng had prepared wine to see them off.

It was the second month, and the chill was biting. The trees were sprouting green, but the bone-cutting wind made it hard to keep one’s eyes open. Yuan Fusheng stood outside the pavilion in a set of wide-sleeved, long-robed garments, carrying the untrammeled elegance of a mountain sage and the beauty of a Divine Maiden. Standing there like that, who could help but adore her?

Xunqi waved at her excitedly. Yuan Fusheng smiled from afar, then stepped forward and bowed. “Left Prime Minister. Young Mistress Yan.”

“Academy Head, just call me Xunqi! How did you know we were leaving today?” Xunqi leaned out of the carriage window, chattering eagerly at Yuan Fusheng.

Yan Zhi’an reached out and pulled her back. “Why are you so excited?”

“Because I saw a beauty!” Xunqi grinned, then turned back to Yuan Fusheng. “Academy Head, come visit the capital when you have time!”

“Very well. Safe travels.” Yuan Fusheng waved, and someone brought two cups of wine, passing them through the carriage window to the Left Prime Minister.

Yan Zhi’an looked at the clear wine before her, her heart rising and falling. “What if I’ve made a mistake?”

“Have you? If you’ve erred, I’ll come to the capital and find you. I have the Yuan Clan; you have the Yan family. The sky won’t fall.” Yuan Fusheng smiled reassuringly. “I heard the news and guessed you’d leave today. Left Prime Minister, I’ll say it again: leave her with me.”

The Yuan family’s keeping her had nothing to do with the Heir Apparent. I love her for her learning, her head full of poetry and books.

Yan Zhi’an accepted the farewell wine and drained it in one go. Yuan Fusheng did the same, tilting her head back, and the two exchanged a smile.

By the time they returned to the capital, it was already early in the third month. Leaves were emerald green, and all things were brimming with life.

The carriage from the Prime Minister’s Residence came to a stop. Yan Zhi’an lifted the curtain and looked at the figure standing beneath the pavilion. For a moment, her chest felt blocked.

Xunqi, on the other hand, squeezed over to look. Seeing the person in purple robes with cloud-like hair and crimson hairpins, she asked curiously, “Who is that?”

A flicker of displeasure crossed Yan Zhi’an’s face, but a faint smile curled at her lips. She decided to stir the pot. “Tell me—if she were fond of Academy Head Yuan, what would you think?”

Xunqi had once said that a woman as beautiful as Yuan Fusheng deserved a partner who was equally beautiful.

“She doesn’t measure up.” The words came out without hesitation.

Yan Zhi’an laughed freely. Puzzled, Xunqi asked, “Who is she? Why are you so happy?”

“You’ll know soon enough. Get down.” Yan Zhi’an patted her head affectionately. “Xunqi, when we get back, I’ll reward you with five hundred taels.”

After lingering a moment in the carriage, Yan Zhi’an led her daughter down. The woman had returned inside the pavilion, and the two followed her in.

Veils screened the pavilion on all sides, so no eye outside could see what was happening within. The Female Emperor leaned down to take her seat, then looked nervously at the girl behind Yan Zhi’an.

But Yan Zhi’an said, “Your Majesty, now that you have acknowledged your daughter—are you happy? In the month since this subject learned the news, I have lain awake night after night.”

Xunqi frowned at this. Liar. You slept perfectly well last night—you were out cold the moment your head hit the pillow.

She kept her head bowed, not daring to look upon the imperial countenance. But the Female Emperor’s gaze had been fixed on her ever since she walked in.

“Xunqi, lift your head.”