Chapter 39: I Know Everything. Part 2

The Right Prime Minister didn’t agree. She told Yan Zhi’an to be careful. At this rate, the Shangguan family would have no hope of arranging a marriage in the capital. However, even now, the Shangguan Clan Leader hadn’t changed his mind about abolishing the rule.

The Right Prime Minister had refused her own younger brother, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t go to someone else. She felt something was wrong and came to warn Yan Zhi’an.

Yan Zhi’an laughed in anger, holding her forehead and pressing her lips together. “I’ve been avoiding these things since I became an adult. I finally settled down myself, and now it’s Xunqi’s turn. It’s like wildfire that never dies out, spring wind that blows it back to life. It never ends.”

Just as she finished speaking, footsteps sounded outside. “Mother.”

The voice came before the person. This was Xunqi’s habit. Yan Zhi’an straightened up, changing her dejected expression. “Come in.”

The vast Prime Minister’s Residence now had only two people. It was snowing heavily outside. Xunqi took off her cloak before entering.

Xunqi had become much more proper and no longer stayed overnight in the main courtyard. The sudden distance made Yan Zhi’an a bit uncomfortable, but she was always busy and hadn’t paid attention. Today, prompted by Shangguan Li’s warning, she had to face Xunqi. “Were there many matters in the camp today?”

“Some dead bodies were lying at the foot of the wall.” Xunqi’s tone became low. She looked up at the Left Prime Minister, and to appear normal, she pressed her lips into a smile. “I had the steward set up a congee kitchen. Save one if we can. Summer isn’t so cold, but in winter, with heavy snow and no food to be found, the poor have a hard time.”

She stared blankly, her gaze drifting, quickly looking away when it met Yan Zhi’an’s eyes.

Even a fool could see she was acting strange. Yan Zhi’an remembered Yuan Fusheng’s words. She and Her Majesty had been planning for so long. Had they ever asked Xunqi’s opinion?

She didn’t know what Yuan Fusheng was thinking. Who wouldn’t want to be emperor? So she had never considered that Xunqi wouldn’t want to be emperor.

“Little Qi.” Yan Zhi’an called out softly. The other turned her head abruptly, looking at her, then quickly looked away. Yan Zhi’an happened to catch the panic in her eyes. “If I gave you a chance to save the refugees, would you want to take it?”

“Of course I would.” Xunqi nodded. “To seek the welfare of the people of the world, isn’t that the ideal of those who hold office?”

Yan Zhi’an’s gaze moved down, landing on Xunqi’s fair hands, which were clenched tightly together. Her gaze paused, but she pretended not to see. “Yes, that’s the idea of those who hold office. I want to ask your opinion. You’ve followed the path I’ve paved for you without ever objecting. Xunqi, if I gave you a chance, would you refuse?”

“Refuse?” Xunqi was extremely nervous, her tongue pressed against her teeth, but she didn’t dare look at the Left Prime Minister. Refuse?

She was stunned for a moment, then slowly shook her head. “Isn’t this my responsibility? There’s no such thing as a free lunch. If I accept the power you give me, I should accept the responsibility that comes with it. Power and responsibility go together. I haven’t thought about refusing.”

Yan Zhi’an looked at her features. She seemed to have lost some weight. What was troubling her? Yan Zhi’an couldn’t figure it out. Her gaze was deep, with a hint of heartache as she looked at her. She said, “I’m giving you the chance to refuse. Do you want to refuse?”

“No.” Xunqi shook her head again, a little less smile on her small face. “I know my mission. And I don’t want to be a person who accomplishes nothing. Before, I was trapped by life, thinking it was enough to support myself and the Madwoman. Now, I can support the people of the world, right?”

She was unhappy.

Yan Zhi’an could feel her emotion. She was just unhappy. But no one in the Patrol Battalion bullied her. Zhao Fu also said she was serious in her work, kind to her subordinates, and generous. Many of her subordinates liked her. She really couldn’t figure out what was troubling Xunqi.

“Since you don’t want to refuse, why are you unhappy?”

“I’m not unhappy.”

Xunqi blurted out. She was just afraid. Afraid that after she was used up, the Left Prime Minister would ruthlessly abandon her. She didn’t even know what her use was. The Yan family had so many people. They weren’t short of a clever Young Mistress. What was the point of the Left Prime Minister acknowledging her?

She had thought for days and couldn’t figure it out. But she didn’t dare ask, because once this window paper was pierced, she wouldn’t even be able to stay in this house.

She could only play dumb.

Yan Zhi’an’s gaze was like a torch, looking at her. “You’re unhappy. Look at your little face. It’s written all over it.”

Her finger poked Xunqi’s brows, nose, cheeks, and finally her lips. “You’re unhappy every day, as if I’m abusing you.”

Her hand was like a feather, poking Xunqi’s heart until it itched. She couldn’t help but grab her hand. “I’m not unhappy. I just have a lot of things on my mind, thinking about the camp every day.”

“I see.” Yan Zhi’an was temporarily satisfied. After thinking for two breaths, she said, “On your next day off, I’ll take you to soak in the hot springs. It’s an Imperial Villa. I’ll ask Her Majesty. I’ll take you there for two days of fun.”

“Soak in hot springs?” Xunqi looked as if she had heard something novel, her eyes shining. This adorable look fell into Yan Zhi’an’s hands. She knew she had coaxed her successfully.

“It’s settled. I’ll make the arrangements. Tell Zhao Fu you’re taking a day off.” Yan Zhi’an felt a bit relieved. “Stay here tonight? The snow is heavy outside and the roads are bad.”

Hearing her warm invitation, Xunqi couldn’t help but curve her lips. But she quickly pressed them together again, feigning restraint. “I’ll do as you say.”

The girl had returned to her usual self, her lips curved, her eyes bright, her whole being radiating brilliance and vigor. It made Yan Zhi’an’s heart ache. She couldn’t help but reach out and touch her cheek. “Little Qi, if you’re tired, put it down. You don’t have to work so hard. You’re already very good. Zhao Fu often praises you to me.”

So she was tired. Yan Zhi’an felt dissatisfied with Zhao Fu. Xunqi was capable, but she was still a child.

“It’s fine. I’ve grown up. Now I’m under your wing. In the future, I will become your support.” Xunqi eagerly expressed her stance, holding her hand, her gaze passionate. Don’t abandon me. I’m very obedient.

She didn’t want to experience the pain of losing a loved one again.

“Of course. In the future, I will rely on you.” Yan Zhi’an felt very reassured. This was what she was waiting for, Xunqi’s words.

In the future, she would extend her grace to the Yan family. Only then would she be worthy of the Yan family.

The cold air outside was biting. The two closed the door and had dinner first. Then, Yan Zhi’an told Xunqi about the important matters in the court one by one.

“Princess Zhaohui’s reputation is now very high. Her Majesty is overjoyed. I’m afraid Prince Ji won’t be able to sit still.” Yan Zhi’an’s tone was mocking, but very confident.

If Prince Ji couldn’t sit still, that was their opportunity.

Xunqi held a hand warmer, remembering the scene from the day. “Prince Ji entered the palace today. I met him halfway. He showed no emotion for the people frozen to death on the road and just left. Perhaps in the eyes of the powerful, when the common people die, they just die. But the world shouldn’t be in the hands of such people.”

“Yes, he is very close to the Crown Prince. In the future, if the Crown Prince ascends the throne, wouldn’t he gain power? Little Qi, what do you think?” Yan Zhi’an deliberately asked Xunqi.

Xunqi didn’t suspect anything. She thought seriously, then answered, “That’s natural. I just don’t know what Princess Zhaohui’s temperament is like.”

“She understands the hardships of the common people better than Prince Ji. The Crown Prince sits in the Eastern Palace, studying. What he knows and understands comes from his tutors. He has never even left the palace gates. Xunqi, it’s not that I don’t respect the Crown Prince, but Zhaohui is more suitable than him. In the future, this battle is destined to be fought.” Yan Zhi’an spoke with feeling.

Xunqi’s eyes flickered. She quietly moved closer to the Left Prime Minister. A familiar fragrance assailed her nose. Her breath caught, her heart warmed, and then her hands and feet went weak, as if she had been scalded.

She paused slightly. Yan Zhi’an looked at her in confusion. “Hm?”

“I… I was wondering, was Emperor Ming really killed by Emperor Hui?” Xunqi quickly turned back and straightened up, her heart beating inexplicably fast, almost jumping out of her throat.

Yan Zhi’an was troubled by her question and didn’t notice her flushed cheeks. She thought for a moment. “It was Emperor Hui who killed him. That’s why Her Majesty later killed her husband and took the throne. Xunqi, Emperor Hui’s love for Her Majesty was also real.”

Both brothers wanted the same person. That was the tragedy of today.

Xunqi was surprised, finding it unbelievable. “The Madwoman said emperors are fickle and heartless, with three palaces, six courtyards, and seventy-two concubines. How could he love only one person?”

“But it’s true.” Yan Zhi’an also found it incredible. She told Xunqi, “Emperor Ming reigned for two years, with only Her Majesty. And Emperor Hui reigned for five years, also with only Her Majesty. If not, why would Emperor Hui have so few children, only the Crown Prince? Xunqi, it’s fine for an emperor to be heartless, but never to be devoted.”

“Why?” Xunqi didn’t understand. “Isn’t being devoted to one person a good thing?”

“It seems good, but it’s actually a great mistake. An emperor can make mistakes, but he cannot be devoted. That would create a weakness. Xunqi, what you think of as devotion is actually telling the world your weakness, letting your enemies strike at your soft spot. Do you understand?” Yan Zhi’an’s tone was stern. “So, I don’t like you being sentimental. Being heartless actually makes people live longer.”

Emperor Ming’s mistake was being devoted to Her Majesty, giving Emperor Hui the opportunity. Similarly, Emperor Hui, in his self-proclaimed devotion, abandoned the inner palace and loved only the Empress, even trusting her completely.

Emperor Hui usurped the throne because of Sima Shenrong, and in the end, died because of Sima Shenrong.

Love had also destroyed two emperors of the dynasty.

Yan Zhi’an held Xunqi’s hand, not reassured, and repeatedly instructed her. “Remember what I said?”

“You’re overthinking. I’m not Her Majesty.” Xunqi held the Left Prime Minister’s hands, feeling their delicacy and warmth.

Xunqi had to lower her head to look at the hand on the back of hers. The five fingers were slender, the knuckles even. She stared at it, her heart itching, and couldn’t help but stroke it with her fingertip.

The moment her fingertip touched, a strange feeling surged in her heart.

Before she could savor it, the Left Prime Minister withdrew her hand. Xunqi’s hand touched empty air, her heart feeling hollow, and she couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

“You’re not Her Majesty, but you are my daughter. I have never thought that devotion is being responsible to one person. True responsibility is not loving.” Yan Zhi’an’s words were meaningful. “Xunqi, power and love are contradictory.”

Xunqi disagreed. “No. Emperor Hui stole another man’s wife. Forcible seizure isn’t love. And Emperor Ming’s death was due to his own negligence. I think Her Majesty loved him.”

“Right. Mutual love, but no good ending.” Yan Zhi’an refuted her point. “Love can be tasted lightly, but not deeply. Otherwise, you’ll harm yourself.”

“How can Emperor Ming’s matter be blamed on Her Majesty? It was his own negligence, betrayed by his own brother.” Xunqi argued, looking at the Left Prime Minister, thinking. “What fault does Her Majesty have? Even without Her Majesty, wouldn’t Emperor Hui have killed his brother and usurped the throne? Her Majesty was just his excuse. Power and love are not like fish and bear’s paw, impossible to have both. Why blame Emperor Hui’s mistakes on a woman? Was the Beacon Fire Rebellion the fault of Bao Si? It was clearly King You of Zhou who was lustful.”