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Chapter 15: A Man of Six and a Half Feet!


On the fifteenth of every third, sixth, ninth, and twelfth month, the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion held a Flower Appreciation Banquet.

At the Flower Appreciation Banquet, lights shimmered and music played, the air thick with perfume. The courtesans of the establishment showcased their talents, with the Flower Queen’s performance as the grand finale! In the pavilion’s heyday, even members of the imperial family and nobility came to watch.

The reason this banquet was so grand was not just because of the tri-monthly performances, but also because the selection of the Flower Queen was decided by the guests!

A voting ticket cost ten silver taels. The contestant with the most votes won the crown. To promote their chosen courtesan, nobles and aristocrats were known to come to blows!

But these disputes only ever made the courtesans of the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion the center of attention. Later, the late emperor, a man of frugality who detested such extravagance, had the place shut down several times, forcing the pavilion to restrain itself.

Shen Yuezhuang hadn’t planned on going to the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion at all. Today was only the eighth, which was the most heated time for the Flower Queen selection. If she went, she would inevitably have to spend money.

Money was just a number to Shen Yuezhuang; she had no real concept of it. But mainly, she was worried that Shen Qingjue would go bankrupt.

So she had planned to just watch the spectacle for free on the fifteenth. She hadn’t expected to run into Duan Liang at the Thousand Gold Workshop.

The Thousand Gold Workshop was the largest gambling den in the capital.

And Duan Liang, according to Shen Yuezhuang herself, was the person in all of this vast capital—no, in the entire vast Liang Kingdom—who hated Shen Yuezhuang the most.

Looking at the young master across the way, who looked like he wanted to eat Shen Yuezhuang alive, and at Shen Yuezhuang’s expression, which didn’t seem fake, A Sang thought for a moment.

Then she asked with sincere curiosity, “Miss Shen, what kind of morally corrupt and widely hated things have you been doing in the capital all these years?”

The capital was very big. The population was vast. They had only been out for a casual stroll, yet everyone they met was either gossiping about Shen Yuezhuang or had a grudge against her.

A Sang was starting to get the feeling that Shen Yuezhuang’s enemies were everywhere.

Maybe… it wasn’t a feeling.

Shen Yuezhuang rubbed her forehead. “Well, that’s a long story.”

She sighed. For once, she didn’t act indifferent or tough. In fact, she looked almost pityingly at the man opposite. “To put it simply, a few years ago, I beat Duan Liang at the gambling den once.”

“And he held a grudge just because he lost once?” A Sang didn’t understand. “This Young Master Duan must have a really small heart!”

Seeing that the two were talking about him as if he weren’t even there, and calling him petty to his face, Duan Liang’s neck turned red with rage.

He shoved aside the servants holding him up, took a few steps forward, and pointed at Shen Yuezhuang’s nose. “Me, petty? You have the nerve to call me petty!”

Duan Liang burst into a fit of coughing. The servants of the Duan mansion quickly pulled him back.

“Forget it, Young Master. It’s in the past. Let it go!”

“Yeah, money lost is disaster averted. Money lost is disaster averted!”

“Young Master, silver that goes away will come back again!”

On this side, Shen Yuezhuang was also holding back A Sang, who was about to strike. “No, no, no! He’s in poor health. If you hurt him, we’ll have to pay compensation!”

A Sang clutched the stool in her hand, refusing to let go. Her gaze was sharp as she stared at Duan Liang. “Miss Shen, silver and gold are ultimately external possessions. If we have to pay, we pay! But he, a man of seven… six and a half feet tall, to be so narrow-minded! Why must you be so submissive, Miss Shen?!”

The gambling den was buzzing with noise. No one else paid much attention to this argument. But the ambient noise only made Duan Liang’s momentary silence more pronounced.

He found some unknown reserve of strength, shoved his servants aside again, and glared at Shen Yuezhuang, his face full of disbelief. “You’re calling me short?!”

Duan Liang’s voice cracked. Shen Yuezhuang felt a headache coming on.

She lowered her voice. “A Sang, his father is the Director of the Imperial Observatory.”

The Imperial Observatory?

A Sang asked back in a low voice, “Miss Shen, do you think extorting him is a bad idea?”

Shen Yuezhuang shook her head in grief. “It’s no good! The Imperial Observatory is in charge of not only observing celestial phenomena, but also divining good and bad fortune, and casting lots. Back then, he used his father’s name to come to the casino, using all sorts of divination and calculations. But he lost to me, and his father almost got implicated!”

The stool in A Sang’s hand loosened. A look of chagrin crossed her face. “Then forget it. I wouldn’t want to drag my mistress into it.”

Shen Yuezhuang nodded in agreement. Then, with a hint of self-satisfaction, she added, “But ever since I beat Duan Liang, his father has been the one who likes me the most at court! He almost got dragged into it by his son, and Duan Liang lost most of a street of shops over it. But Lord Duan said I helped cure Duan Liang of his gambling addiction!”

“However,” Shen Yuezhuang glanced back at Duan Liang, “I wonder why he’s relapsed?”

She pursed her lips, looking at Duan Liang with a gaze that gradually grew firm—out of consideration for Lord Duan’s kindness to her, she felt she had a responsibility toward Duan Liang as a kind mentor and friend!

And this good mentor and friend was now going to help a misguided youth return to the right path!

And then, Shen Yuezhuang and Duan Liang ended up at the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion—the two had made another bet. This time, the wager was on who would win this Flower Queen title.

Each of them picked a promising candidate from the Hundred Flowers Ranking. If Shen Yuezhuang lost, she would return the shops from that street that she had won before. If Duan Liang lost, he would lose the remaining shops to Shen Yuezhuang!

With the bet settled, Duan Liang left. He wasn’t interested in beautiful women, nor was he fond of crowds. So Shen Yuezhuang, who was interested in beautiful women and fond of crowds, took A Sang and wandered around the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion until late at night.

When you visit a brothel, you have to drink. When you drink, you get drunk. When you’re drunk, you do impulsive things!

In a fit of impulse, Shen Yuezhuang spent a small fortune on the dancing courtesan on stage.

The sum was jaw-dropping, enough to drive her younger brother to bankruptcy. But it earned Shen Yuezhuang the chance to spend the night with the beauty.

When the opportunity presented itself, Shen Yuezhuang was already drunk, her thoughts floating and hazy.

She staggered unsteadily, only vaguely aware that once the beauty stepped off the stage, she seemed completely different from the soft, docile dancer she had been moments before.

Bang!

A four-paneled screen painted with a scene of beauties toppled to the ground. The tea set and cups on the small table behind the screen shattered with a dull, discontinuous sound.

A Sang stood up and walked toward the door, but she stumbled sideways toward the window and hung over it, vomiting her guts out.

Shen Yuezhuang laughed, a beat slow. Then, a cold glance from that “courtesan” scared a shiver out of her.

The memory stopped abruptly. But that one look was enough to startle Shen Yuezhuang even in her dreams.

Thump!

Her left foot, which had jerked suddenly, hit the wall. Shen Yuezhuang opened her eyes in pain.

Her mind wasn’t fully awake yet. First, she noticed the scent of sandalwood lingering by her nose. She sat up, holding her heavy, throbbing head, and looked around.

The room was small. The furnishings were simple and elegant. The tables and chairs looked old, worn but clean.

A Buddhist shrine held a statue of Guanyin. The scent of sandalwood came from an incense burner in front of the statue.

Shen Yuezhuang’s mind felt like porridge. She didn’t want to move or think. Only when she heard a clattering sound from the adjoining room did she force herself up, ignoring her discomfort, to go out and see the commotion.

As soon as she opened the door, she came face to face with A Sang, who was also emerging from the next room.

“Morning~”

Shen Yuezhuang’s voice was terribly hoarse. A flash of relief passed over A Sang’s face. Then, looking at the ancient, warm courtyard, she wore an expression of sorrow.

“Miss Shen, are we in the Western Paradise?”

Shen Yuezhuang: “???”

“I’ve always heard that people can drink themselves to death. I never believed it. Now…”

“Now you’re letting your imagination run wild!” Shen Yuezhuang let out a huge yawn. “Tang Seng had to go through eighty-one tribulations to get to the Western Paradise. You think a little drink will get you there?”

A Sang: “???”

Shen Yuezhuang gave A Sang a heavy pat on the shoulder. “At least do a somersault first!”


The Empress Dowager Claims to Be My Ex-Girlfriend

The Empress Dowager Claims to Be My Ex-Girlfriend

太后自称是我前女友
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Shen Yuezhuang, the Capital City’s number one female profligate.

Her great-grandfather, Shen Zhi, had at a young age, among a group of grubby little brats playing in mud and piss, singled out the boy who would later become the founding emperor, becoming his sworn brother.

Shen Yuezhuang, a descendant of nobility and meritorious officials, at the same age of muddling through, made two friends: a fox-like friend — the orphan Liu Yun, and a dog-like friend — the neglected Third Prince.

Ten years passed in the blink of an eye. The little prince of yesteryear had leaped to become the current Emperor, while the orphan girl with no family to rely on had become the current Empress Dowager. Only Shen Yuezhuang remained, the Capital’s number one aging leftover woman...

Tsk. The development of this affair was very suspicious. Her great-grandfather became sworn brothers with the Emperor, and he became a highly sought-after husband. How come, when it got to her, she turned into a hot potato?!

Later, Shen Yuezhuang heard a rumor coming from the Palace: the Empress Dowager had said that the young Miss of the Shen family was her old flame!

~~~

The new Emperor ascended the throne and ordered a Special Examination. Shen Yuezhuang, brimming with excitement, took her family’s servants to the Capital on the day the list was announced to try her hand at the tradition of Groom-Snatching Below the List. Her only requirement: good looks above all else!

And so, her burly servants brought her the current Empress Dowager, who was out of the Palace in disguise!

~~~

Speaking of the current Empress Dowager’s life, it was famously tumultuous. From a criminal slave to Empress Dowager, everyone said Emperor Jiande was her benefactor.

When Emperor Jiande ascended the throne and proclaimed a Great Amnesty, she was freed from her slave status.

When Emperor Jiande held his Imperial Consort Selection, she entered the Palace to await selection.

Before Emperor Jiande died, she had risen from a low-ranking Worthy Lady to the Empress of the Central Palace.

After Emperor Jiande’s death, when the Third Prince ascended the throne, she became the most powerful woman in the Palace: the Empress Dowager!

Rumors said the Empress Dowager was ruthless. Rumors said the Empress Dowager framed loyal officials. Rumors said the Empress Dowager was a woman usurping authority. Rumors said the Empress Dowager intended to usurp the throne...

Liu Yun turned a deaf ear to the rumors. But the one rumor she admitted to was that the Empress Dowager, unable to bear the jealousy of being a substitute bride, had secretly ruined all of Miss Shen’s marriage prospects.

Yes. She was alone and desolate within the Palace; how could she let Miss Shen enjoy a harmonious marriage outside?

***

Mini-Story:

Palace Attendant: Your Majesty, it’s terrible! Miss Shen and the Noble Consort are arguing in the Imperial Garden!

The Emperor, who was about to head to the Imperial Garden, immediately turned around: “Go fetch the Empress Dowager.”

Palace Attendant: “Then, Your Majesty...”

Emperor: “I’ll make myself scarce. She curses dirty.”

***

Mini-Story 2:

Miss Shen argued with a consort in the Palace, and the Empress Dowager punished her by ordering her to clean the Study Room. After an hour, the Empress Dowager’s personal female official looked at the still-wet ink stains and the messy bookshelves in the study, and sighed helplessly in persuasion, “Miss Shen, even if no one is watching, Her Highness has given the order. Could you at least pretend to do a good job?”

Shen Yuezhuang, with an incredulous look, pointed at the abacus on the table and retorted, “Pretend? Can’t you see this abacus is already neatly arranged?”

The female official was stunned. But the Empress Dowager looked completely unsurprised.

“If it’s sorted, it’s sorted. What do you want for dinner?”

Their germophobic Empress Dowager said this while closing the open book.

Female official: “...”

Your Highness, do you even see what you’re doing? Is this what you call “sorted”?!

Later, the training for new arrivals in the Empress Dowager’s Palace included memorizing a few special terms: that an abacus is also called a study, that soup with burst wontons is called “meat soup with sliced noodles,” and that the number “seventeen” is taboo in the Palace.

***

Reading Guide:

1. HE (Happy Ending), Both are pure, Sweet story. Feel free to read safely. 2. Silly and light-hearted. This one is absolutely not angsty (emphasis). ...

Content Tags: Palace and Nobility, Special Favor, Happy Enemies to Lovers, Sweet, Historical, Main Character is the Receiver

Search Keywords: Main Character: Shen Yuezhuang, Liu Yun │ Supporting Characters: │ Others:

One-Line Summary: The unspeakable affairs between the Empress Dowager and Miss Shen.

Theme: Strive hard, pursue a beautiful life.

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